What is it about 3AM?

 Once again, this morning I was awake at 3AM.   This time I had a song going through my mind - just a few words of it -  'O Rock O Rock of Ages, I'm thankful for your faithfulness, Your faithfulness'.  Over and over and over.  Finally, at 3:30AM I got up and came in here.  No, didn't go back to sleep - then - but I did try.  I turned the light on a little after 4AM and began writing in my journal.  After that I read my Bible and then started on a devotional.... and closed my eyes..... 30+ minutes later, I awake.  6:08AM.  Yeah, time to just put it away and get on here.  Been through the majority of my email deletes (one of these days I need to go through those I keep and don't read in the mornings), checked the bank account, paid my bills, read my son's blog, and here I am.  

Did I mention yesterday hubby had to get a new battery for his car?  Yeah.  Thank goodness it is something that generally lasts 4-5 years.  He has 80K on the car and it's a 2015 so it's small, but there is still a possibility it could have been the original, right?  Maybe.  Anyway, I can see why, if it was.  $389 later, he has a new battery.  He was told his car has something on it that requires a 'special' battery or something like that. I wasn't with him, not that it would have made any difference.  Like I know anything about car batteries.  But he does have a lot of extra electronic stuff on his car (that no one uses) that we weren't aware of.  I think they told him about some.  He's feeling pretty special, I'm thinking.  And that is why I make sure I have a savings account with a little money in it.  

I think my SIL will be over today to begin putting some flowers in the ground.  I wish I wasn't working for I would have already had the rocks out of that area and he could just dig and plant.  I may just tell him to leave the rocks and we can work around them.  That's a lot of work for a place I don't want to stay at. HAH - Hubby and I had that discussion again yesterday. I told him again that if I neighbors get $400K for their place, this place is going up for sale.  He started to argue with me about costs, etc., and I just told him I want a stand alone house. We can hire a landscaper, if needed.  (we did before for 20 years so why change that?)  He argued about a high house payment - and I told him that it wouldn't be high if we take what we make off this house and put the entire amount down on a newer home - and we don't need a big fancy house.  A 3 bedroom would be nice, but not necessary. We've survived with this 2-bedroom - although this room - the 2nd bedroom - is my office as well as the guest room, and he uses the closet in here, and I have a chest of drawers in here.  Ok - my mind is just running loose this morning.

Work kept me busy yesterday and I didn't have time to just sit around.  Today is going to start off busy for I have several meetings I didn't get scheduled yesterday that I definitely need to get done today.  Plus I am covering for my friend Cecilia.  She had back surgery last fall and I covered for six weeks, remember?  Well, since the back surgery, which was successful (she has scoliosis), she has constant needles in her one knee from the nerves in her back. I'm not even going to pretend I understand.  Today they are going into her back and place a block on that nerve which will alleviate the constant pain in her knee.  She's off today and tomorrow., and I'm covering for her, but her people don't give me any problems.  And she covers for me when I'm off so it's a win-win.

I need to get my mind refocused on writing in here.  It seems like the past month or so I have gotten off track - again - and just ramble more than anything else.  I guess at times that is ok.  This is like a journal of my life or so - right?  Of course I cannot be brutally honest about things - but it does help to alleviate some of my anguish at times.  And it helps to know that I'm not alone.

Oh - I got some exciting news last night!  Well, it isn't for ME, but for someone I call a dear friend - my trainer, Morgan.  She showed me a photo.  An ultrasound.  Yep - she is 2 months pregnant with her 2nd child.  The baby is due December 27th.  I'm excited for her, and once we know the sex - which will be a couple months yet - I'll get started on a blanket for her.  May 26th is her first child's birthday and I would like to get a quilt done, but I'm not going to stress about it.  I may even put it off until Christmas.  Last Christmas I made her a blanket.  But I want to find a little birthday gift.  She will be 2 this year.

And..... now that I've rambled some more.... I need to get off here and on the work computer.  Do I need to apologize for my ramblings instead of giving you something to think about?

Enjoy your day - I pray that you will receive what you have asked for.

Blessings!

I finally got a breather

 Yesterday morning was extremely busy at work; it seemed like I was constantly scheduling or looking for times for meetings.  But I finally got through them all.  The afternoon was not quite as bad and I was able to 'chill' for a bit, although still working on things.  The stress level really dropped.  Of course I get an email at 3:58PM wanting something, but by 4:07 I was able to get up from in front of the computer and start dinner.  I fixed a sort of taco salad last night.  Minus beans. sigh. I love beans.  They are high in protein, yes, but also high in carbs. And, of course, I need to watch my carbs.  But with all I piled on it, I think the salad was still less than 10 points; but I told hubby for us to count it as ten points rather than pin point every little carb I put in it.  And it was good, and it was filling.  One thing I have noticed is that neither of us are really snacking.  I may go grab a string cheese between lunch and dinner, and hubby may grab a beef stick, but overall, no chips and salsa, no peanut butter sandwiches, no girl scout cookies, which will add carbs to our count.  30 carbs a day adds up quickly, believe me!  And we are still eating good.  Just not biscuits and gravy, and good food like that. :-)  NOT.  I may have been raised on it, but it doesn't mean it's good for us.  I imagine gravy was created to stretch food out, you think.  Just like I put macaroni in my chili.  The purpose (at least in the midwest) was to stretch the food so that everyone could have some.  I'm sure gravy was the same.  My mama made the best, to which a son will attest to. Along with her fried chicken.

My brother sent us a special gift for Christmas this year. Well, I think I had three before Christmas got here. But one of them was an oil painting of hubby, my brother, and myself from a trip back there a few years ago.  Of course I'm fat in the picture, but truth hurts, right?  Anyway, I decided it is time to get it set up and start on it.  I ordered an easel and a stool yesterday and they will be here Saturday.  I do wish we had a larger house.  There just isn't room for the things I enjoy doing.  I may need to do more rearranging once I get it put together.  Need to make a run down to Michaels to get a canvas to put the painting on. And yes, I am going to encourage hubby to work on some of it as well.  It was a gift to us both.  It may take the rest of the year to get it completed.  And I have no idea where it will go.  It's 16x20 - it may go on a wall in here.  But that is months down the road.  I still have a couple other projects I want to complete as well.  At least if I can get hubby interested in doing some on this painting, I can work on my other projects (my crocheting may be put aside for awhile) like the diamond art projects I have.  There is the big Last Supper one my daughter and I are working on, I got bookmarks and coasters for Christmas to do, I have a Santa Claus I want to finish and have framed to hang up at Christmas time (want to get a good snowman and tree and do as well, but not now), and I think I have a couple more projects.  So much I want to do; so little time to get them done.  My time is precious so if you receive something from me that I made, consider yourself loved, for not everyone gets something personally made. 

Hubby has his breakfast this morning.  He's been moving around more and more and going to breakfast with his friends as usual.  His one friend will be moving as soon as his house sells; it went on the market the other day.  Moving to be closer to his daughters in Oregon.  Hubby will miss him and will need to find someone else to meet on Wednesdays or Thursdays about 9AM for breakfast.

Me, I have my breakfast meeting with my favorite boss this morning.  I need to finish this up fairly quick so that I can get dressed and get on the computer for about 20 minutes before heading out the door.  Not looking forward to the traffic.  Goodness!  I got on the 101E the other day to go to the gym and it was back up bumper to bumper.  Grateful I can stay on the off ramp as I get off at the next exit; just get on to miss the 3-4 stoplights in between the 101# and where I need to get off.  I'll meet her about 8:15AM and it is usually about a 45 minute drive.  Will see where Siri takes me today.  Sometimes it's the 101E to 17S and then on down - but sometimes she has taken me straight across Bell Rd.  Grateful it will at least be daylight.  I don't like this driving in the dark. People aren't as careful.

Psalm 97:10 (NLT):  You who love the Lord, hate evil!  He protects the lives of his godly people and rescues them from the power of the wicked.

That is definitely true!  I can remember a boss I had several years ago who caused me much anguish.  And not only me, but others.  I supported several nurses and he came in like a bull in a china shop and moved my favorite nurses from me.  I was so devastated I - and they - burst into tears!  He had no reason to do this, but just chose to be mean.  I think he was passive/aggressive or bipolar or something. He reported up to my favorite boss, but she could not do anything without proof. That was before I started working directly for her.  Finally, some of the nurses had proof of the things he was doing to different ones - and when they presented it, my boss had reason to fire him.  But God intervened.  I had been doing a lot of praying during this very difficult time, and I had prayed blessings over this man.  Seriously, I did.  God says in His Word to pray for your enemies, and I definitely counted this man as an enemy, for he eluded evil.  (my boss didn't hire him; she inherited him when she got her premotion)  As she started the process with HR to let him go, he decided to take job at another company which was a higher level for him.  We had a party when he left - for us. :-)  God did bless him, in answer to my prayers.  He blessed him right out of the company!  God protected me and others from the destruction this man was doing upon our department.  And we did recover.  I got blessed and moved to working as an admin under my favorite boss.  That started my administrative journey up to where I am now.  So blessed.

And with that, I need to get off here and jump in the shower.  Hope that you have an amazing day!  Take a moment and thank God for His blessings and His mercy and His favor for you.  Praying for you.

Blessings!

I did it again...

 You know I enjoy walking.  I know better than to go out in the heat of the day and try walking.  And you also know how difficult it is to walk - or rather, finding the opportunity and time to walk in this household. My life is not my own, my time is not my own.  Right?  Well, I was skimming my emails this morning and had one from the Indianapolis 500 Festival.  Remember a few years back (before Covid) when I signed up, and got my youngest son to sign up with me, and we did the 13.1 miles in one day.  Yes, that is a special memory for me.  I knew he didn't want to do it - but he stepped out of his comfort zone (and his want zone) to do it with me, and I am grateful.  You may remember as well a time that I also signed up to walk 500 miles over the summer months (and did it!) and hubby signed up for the 250 miles (and did it).  Well, you also know how I am wanting to get more active (hence the working out this past year) and drop some of this weight (using all kinds of methods) and we all know that walking does help build the bones in the legs, i.e., strength, and walking does cause weight to drop and inches to fall - right?  Ok - long story short.  I signed up for the 500 miles of walking again this summer.  June 12th through October 31st this year.  I did not sign hubby up.  I think that would be waste of money, although it did say that it would count 30 minutes of exercise as one mile of walking.  Decided to save my money on that one.  But I did sign myself up and I am hoping to push myself to do some serious walking, even if I have to go to the gym and get on the treadmill for 30 minutes a day (which is always good).  I need to push myself.  It's not the t-shirts and hat and medal I will get for signing up.  It's the pushing myself to achieve this goal.  It's not dropping weight or inches.  It's about getting stronger to where, as I continue to age (there is no stopping it, it just keeps happening), I will be strong enough physically to take care of myself the rest of my life.  I can only pray my mental state will improve as well.  I no longer have my treadmill in my house (gave it away) so I do have to get out and either walk outside or go to the gym.  I also have my trampoline which I can 'walk' on (and yes, it counts).  It will be a win-win - right?

Yesterday was busy at work, but not overly so.  But, still, enough that I did not get any contracts completed.  Just couldn't get focused for any length of time on it with scheduling meetings and doing other work related things.  Luckily I'm not on a deadline to get the remaining 45 contracts completed.  I still hope to get a few done today as I'm also hoping it will be a light day.  I can always hope.  Still, next week will be a light week - 2 of my bosses are out on M-T, and all four are out W-T-F - or is it T-F?  Anyway - the last three days of the week should be light.  I may actually get caught up on some things.  My favorite boss is going on a 10-day cruise - so happy for her.  Don't know what the others are doing. They don't share personal information, which is why I can easily say 'we aren't close' and how they frustrate me because they don't give me information.  Especially since I don't even find they are taking days off work until I see their calendars blocked (which annoys me).  Can't they even send me an email and say, "hey, I'm taking the week of xxxx off and just wanted you to be aware."  Instead, I skim future calendar dates and see they are taking off and end up having to reschedule meetings that are on those dates.  My male boss is messing himself up - out of the remaining 4 board meetings for Colorado this year.... he is on PTO for 3 of them.  NOT.MY.PROBLEM.  He will have to schedule himself where he can attend these meetings (after all, he is the president of the board) and also all the prep meetings and create the slides and agenda.  NOT.MY.JOB.  Don't mean to sound mean about it.... but he irritates me at times - you know that though, don't you?  He's a 'good guy', but spreading himself way too thin.

Hubby just came in to tell me bye as he heads out for his Bible study.  He advised that he will go to the gym tomorrow (rather than after the study today) and do a workout while I'm at Needles of Hope.  Yep, it's my 'monthly fun thing' to do.  He also added that 'if there is something you want to do tonight....' like I ever have any plans.  Sigh.  Maybe I'll suggest going out for a nice dinner.  Or not. I'm not really a 'go to the show' type of person, but maybe I'll see what's showing and see if there is something I'd like to see.  Doubtful.  You know me; I'm content to sit and read, or work on a craft, or bake.... unless I have an opportunity to be with family.  Which reminds me, I have a combo box to pick up today.  Need to check my calendar and see when I can get away to pick it up.  Some fresh fruit sure sounds good.  I may pick up extra strawberries and freeze some again. I use them in my shakes.  I'm nearly out of the last bag I froze earlier in the year.

I know I do need to put in an order at the grocery store...... we are out of k-cups for coffee!  I've been lazy this week and haven't ordered any to be delivered; thought I could just run out and pick some up - but have not.  Actually, we do have ground coffee which we can use this weekend - and may - and I can make a run to Sam's Club on Sunday.  Or not.  Maybe I should give up coffee (and shrivel up and die?) for awhile.  I'm down to just one cup a day anymore, unless we go out for breakfast.  Never got hooked on Starbucks.  In fact, I still have an email with a $10 giftcard for Starbucks that I received from a programmer for Christmas last year.  I suppose I need to use it for my green tea I get there.  I had received a $25 gift card from another vendor in December.... gave it to my bestie who I know loves coffee.  Yeah, I give away my Starbuck gift cards as a rule.  If I go at all, it is for a venti shaken green tea unsweetened over ice.  

My book reading this morning gave me pause.  Perhaps it will you as well.  Going to give you a couple questions - and yes, I did take the time to write down a few things as I paused and thought about them.  What would you write if you had these questions.....

What are some phrases you would like for others to say about you at your funeral?

What would honor you to have put on your tombstone?

What, if any, gifts that God has given you that you have not used for Him?

What is your passion, that 'one thing' you want your life to be about?

Enough questions?  I did think about the first two.  Reminds me of 'The Dash' - you know, the time in between your birth date and your death date.  How did you live that time.....

As I thought about some of these questions, my heart was filled with great sadness, for I know there is so much more that I've wanted to do with my life, but have been unable to do so.  And yet, there is a lot more that I have accomplished that I would have thought possible years ago.  There is so much more that I feel I can do for God, but I feel also that I am 'held back'.  Some of you will understand that statement.  Sometimes I need to speak up; sometimes I need to just do it; sometimes I just need to let God take care of it.  He knows my heart and my desires.  More than anything else, I want His will for my life to be my will as well.  

What would I like for others to say about me?  She was a woman after God's own heart.

What would you want?  Something to think about.

Blessings!

They loved my thought...

 I was surprised how quickly I got a response back after I sent the email yesterday morning that I was declining to speak 'motherly advice' to other mothers, and instead speak to grandparents.  The comment I got back was "Love it!  And you are still speaking in to a child - a grandchild!'  So I guess that means I get to share my thoughts and my granddaughter's letter.  I got it out of my treasure box yesterday and re-read it again.  I am so proud of this young woman.  She is such a good mom (she did have a good example to follow!) and I can still remember when I was told how she gave her life to Jesus.  She will always have that special place in my heart.  As I re-read her note to me, I still had tears form in my eyes.  Her words touch my heart.  So now I have two weeks to prepare!  At least there isn't much I need to do; share how I took the grandchildren to church and the letter.  

We love our trainer.  I know I've told you that many times.  We've had dinner with him a few times and love just spending time with him.  He's like one of our grandsons that we'd like to spoil!  Last night, as we were ending up my training session, he got a text that his next client was wanting to move his appointment to this morning.  That meant I was the last one yesterday.  We both discussed how we had thawed chicken at home. Finally I asked if he wanted to go out to eat with us - which he readily accepted.  He says I remind him of his grandmother, so I guess thinking of him as my grandson is appropriate. LOL  I called hubby when I was finished and we all met up at Coco's for a meal. It was a fun time.  Coco's is not the fastest service, for sure.  They only had one waiter.  Two cooks.  And I think one of the cooks was also the one who cleared tables.  When we arrived there were six other people in the restaurant eating.  Then there was just us.  By the time we left, two others came in.  That's how busy they were.  If you are in no hurry for your food and want to talk, this is the place to go!  LOL  And, being Wednesday, we got free pie. :-) We all left full.  But we had great conversation and enjoyed our time with him.  I chatted with his mother after I got home.  She's nice too. She lives in Wyoming, where he is from.  It's going to be tough when our trainer moves to Chicago in two weeks.  

He's already assigned me and hubby to other trainers.  Hubby has a male trainer, I have a female.  I have talked with Morgan, my trainer, numerous times and we have a good relationship.  She had actually asked Trayden (our trainer) if she could have me. :-)  Hubby went with Jason.  I joke with Trayden that Morgan probably won't let me whine like I do with him.  He laughs. She's going to make me hurt, I'm sure.  Morgan and I will need to talk to determine a time for me to workout as she already has someone when I have been going.  We will probably discuss what my goals are.  Trayden said he has already passed all my papers over to her, including my former goals.  Lose weight; gain strength; get toned.  That's basically it.  I don't need bulging muscles.  I just want to wear my pre-Covid clothes comfortably.  

I Corinthians 10:31 (NKJV):  Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

We oftentimes think of I Corinthians as the book that contains the 'chapter of love' - chapter 13.  And it is true.  But there is so much more that is in it!  Paul emphasizes in the above scripture that we may be saved by grace, but makes it clear that as Christians we are to live our lives in a way that glorifies and honors God.

That means it doesn't matter if we are eating or drinking - or whatever we do - are we doing it that brings glory to our Heavenly Father?  I am sure that sounds strange - what does our eating or drinking have to do with our walk with Jesus?  Well, back in these times, food was being offered to idols and some were arguing over whether or not that meat should be eaten by Christians.  It was all new to them and Paul was trying to tell them it doesn't matter.  But in this particular case, I think it was more they wouldn't eat at home, but then gorge themselves with the food and not leave for others.  And then they drank a lot of wine because the water wasn't the best (so I hear).  They would 'over drink'.  Adm Paul was saying, don't pig out on food, and don't overdrink!  Whatever you have, do it to glorify our Father in heaven.  Don't be a pig!  Ok, that's my version.  

In fact, all that we do is to bring glory to our Father in heaven.  Don't you agree?  Our words reflect who Jesus is to us.  Our behavior reflects who we believe Jesus is.  When we accept Him as Lord, and He is our All in All, should all we do - eat and drink - and say - bring glory and honor to His name?

Yeah, sometimes I fail in that department, for my emotions get ahead of my mind some times.  But I am learning to hold things in check and not respond in kind when I am being slandered.  Oh yes, I want to threaten a lawsuit for being slandered; I want to respond to hateful things said... but God tells me to shut my mouth; keep my fingers off that keyboard, and allow Him to deal with the situation.  He will repay those who slander and hurt His children.

Yesterday was an extremely busy day at work and it was also Administrative Professional Day.  I got a huge bouquet of flowers from two of my bosses, a $20 gift card for Amazon from another, not even an acknowledgement of the 4th one I support.  My male boss, after I thanked him for the flowers, texted me 'Happy administrative professionals day' and I came back with he needs to say it numerous times because he was giving me a lot of work yesterday!  And he did.  I think he said it about six times!  LOL It was a crazy day and I didn't get everything done so need to start on it first thing this morning.

I am somewhat fearful of the next 8 weeks as I will be covering all those doctors for my friend.  But I keep praying that God will help me not be busy with my people so that when they ask, I can help them quickly.  And with that, I need to get off here and get busy.  It's another day!

Have a wonderful day - and stay focused on Jesus.  He truly is the only way!

Blessings!