when I came in here this morning and sat down, I did as I often do - I picked up my phone to see if any important/critical messages that I should know about had come through. There was one special one. A grandson was asking if they could come over some time over the next few weeks so that we can meet our great-grandson. I suggested he tell us their schedule as I don't know his work schedule or what they have to do with the baby. It would be easier for me to step away from work if during the day (providing hubby doesn't have doctor appointments). I think he is still working nights, so I'll let him determine the date and timeframe. Would love to meet this little one.
So many times I feel deserted by many of the grandchildren - and I'm not blaming them; they have their own lives, working or have families. I just really miss the times I could go pick up all the grandchildren and take them to church with me - that was the greatest joy for me to do every Wednesday, and it is still my greatest memory of hanging with my grandchildren. I hope they remember that as well. The smaller ones, maybe not as much.
I remember one time on our way home from Wednesday church that a grandson asked me something about my mama, who had recently passed away. I must have said something about missing her, I don't remember. But he made this comment: "But your mom is in heaven and you will get to see her again." It was then I realized that his mama taking him to church on Sundays and me taking him on Wednesdays - had been a good thing. He got it. I'm sure his other grandma had a play in that as well.
Memories. They come and go, and sometimes they get a little fuzzy. Things I forget, sometimes will come to mind when something is said or done and it's like a lightbulb goes off in the brain, and you pause and watch that scene play out again in your mind. I love so much the memories I have of hanging out with the grandchildren. I always said they kept me young, and I still believe that is a true statement.
We stayed up late last night and got up a bit later this morning - me about 5:45AM and hubby about 6:30AM I think it was. No biggie. All I have to day is leaving around 10:30 to pick up Melonie for lunch and whatever else we decide to do for a little bit. I may come home and bake, which I need to do. But I also need to defrost the freezer and figure out what is in there. I still see lots of frozen strawberries! LOL
Which reminds me - I picked up a 'mystery box' from the place I pick up combo boxes. Definitely a 'mystery'! I had three large 'things' that I had no clue what they were. I text'd my granddaughter because she is the one who experiments a lot with different vegetables. Immediately she came back with the name - Fennel. Say what? I looked it up. Yep, that is what it is. I saw how to cut it and it said to slice thin and put in salads, that it may taste like licorice. I had three so I offered her two of them. I will try the one. Maybe. Got a case of on the vine tomatoes too which I am already dividing out. And a bag of apples. I may try to cook something with those - or run up to the DIL for the son who likes apples, but these are little ones so don't know if he would be interested.
We watched a couple Christmas movies last night - yes, I'm getting in to the Christmas spirit already! I will wait until at least the 2nd week of November to put up our trees inside the house. The outside I may wait until Thanksgiving. I can start wrapping what I have so that I can figure out what I do have. My stash here by the bed is taking up most of this side of the room. Need to sort that all out.
Do you realize that complaining is a sin? Yes, I know it is, and yes, I know I do it frequently. Yes, I know I write it in here as well, many of my complaints. I don't like that about myself. And yes, I do confess my complaining and ask forgiveness for it. Sometimes it seems like a 'second nature' to complain, doesn't it? We may argue the point and say that it isn't a complaint, it is stating a fact, and that may be true. But if we have to explain it.... I will leave that there.
Philippians 2:14 (NKJV): Do all things without complaining or disputing.
I know I have touched on this before. Probably because I do a lot of it. If not verbally, I am complaining in my mind. God hears that complaining as well. Sigh. How do we get past that - complaining all the time? Life is hard, right? We can agree with that. Things happen that hurt us, that cause us anger and frustration - and we aren't to complain about that? No. We are to give those emotions to God and ask Him to deal with them. And that isn't easy. Trust me. I know I complain a lot - out loud and in my heart and mind. And I always have to ask forgiveness for complaining so much. And much is about nothing.
What would my life be like if I didn't complain all the time? It would probably be a lot better. We all have our own opinions and attitudes about things and people. I'm no different than you. If YOU don't like something, I probably don't either. I want to change. If I have a complaint (which you know I will since I do it so frequently), I need to stop verbalizing it in my mind and in my spoken word, and instead ask God to help me see the person or the situation in a different light.
Most of all, I choose to be obedient to God and His Word.... I choose to forgive those who have hurt me. I choose to do good rather than revenge. I choose to be obedient to God in ALL circumstances (even the trying one I'm in now!).
Doesn't mean I will be successful .... my mouth often speaks before the mind wakes up. But we have a forgiving God (when we ask Him) and He will not only forgive, but will give us the strength and ability to step out of that situation and allow Him to work through it. Sometimes He allows these trying (very!) situations to reveal who people really are, to show us what we need to do, and what we need to change in us. Lord, HELP, cause I want to go share a 'few words' with this person!
So grateful for God's grace. He helps me deal with my inward pain of rejection and although it isn't specifically a rejection of me, but of others. I'm just receiving the rejection as well. Doesn't make the hurt any easier, but when I give it to Jesus, He brings healing and hope to my heart. All things are in His time.
Yes, once again my words are all over the spectrum of discussion and confusion - but anymore, it seems that is who I am. Praying I will completely surrender - even my will - that I can walk in grace with others.
Blessings!
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