and sometimes it hurts so bad that it is just hard to do. But, I'm better this morning. Not going into details. The granddaughter and great-granddaughter are with their aunt, and that is ok. Hubby took me on a 'date night' (seriously? We go out to dinner frequently, but he is calling this one a 'date night') and he made me choose, so I chose Denny's. I did put make-up on, but I just didn't want to 'dress up' when I really didn't want to go. I had already created an order at Fry's to pick up so we ate first and then picked it up. Since the granddaughter had gone to her aunt's, we headed over there once we dropped groceries off here at the house. Hubby got to hold the little one.
I feel like I'm 'all over the place' this morning. Need to decompress I guess. 2nd load of laundry in washer (doing it cause hubby is gone to bible study - he will yell at me when he gets back for 'doing his job'), trying to get some things done on the work computer - trying to write in here - I need to just step back and breathe.
I'm even on a second cup of coffee this morning.... lots of things on my mind; lots of prayers been going up. I'm struggling with my own emotions that I must keep hidden. I need to run away. Hubby is more clingy than ever - if that was even possible. Lord, HELP!
Tomorrow I'm meeting an 'old' friend - Melonie - whom I met back in 1968 when both our husbands were in the service (hers in Korea, mine in VietNam) and I was pregnant with my first one. We've kept in touch off and on over the years and to find we are about 6 miles apart about 8 years ago is unbelievable. We don't get together much, but the other day was her birthday so I am taking her to lunch on Saturday. I don't have a gift for her - yet - and have no idea what to get - may just buy lunch and let it be it. Maybe I'll take her some things I've already baked and in the freezer. Probably won't meet up again until around Christmas. That's the way it is. She is a widow now, and her sister is here in town so they get together frequently. Wish we could get together more, but there really isn't any reason to, other than our friendship.
Sunday will be church. But other running over to see my granddaughter and baby tomorrow with some baby stuff I picked up, I don't think anything else is on the agenda for the weekend. Maybe I can hibernate in a book and lose myself.
I sometimes ask myself what is God trying to teach me through this journey I'm on - and why can't I learn it.... sometimes the pain is so great it becomes unbearable. Not physical pain, of course, but the pain one carries from life.
Need to get off here and focus upon work. Maybe tomorrow I will be in a better frame of life... my mind is gone so it's not that... or is it. Ha.
Have a good day. Keep trusting Jesus (He is all I have too!) and knowing that He is in control of every part of our lives. Lean into Him and believe that He can do all things - even those we don't expect. He's all I have so I have to trust Him, believe in Him, love Him.
Blessings!
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