Well now, 3 times this week?

 I'm sitting here in my quiet time and my phone dings.  It's Morgan.  Her 8am cancelled.  Do I want to come in for a workout?  Uh.... sure!  I have an 8:30 this morning so will be taking off work.  I'll let Sue know, of course, and she knows I'll work through lunch to make up my time.  Not a biggie.  And I don't even have to do that.  But I generally work through lunch anyway.  I have nothing on my calendar for today and have two board meeting minutes to type up - I can get them done easily enough - yet, you now how I procrastinate, right?

I put on fake nails last night - and now they are bugging me. They may be coming off before end of day.  It's been along while since I've had nails!  These are longer that I'm used to wearing anyway.  But trying to type is a bit difficult with these on. Maybe I just need to get used to it.

Hubby has his bible study this morning and will be going to visit our friend Chuck afterwards.  I found a loaf of strawberry bread in the freezer so took it out last night for a gift.  I really want to bake this weekend, but my oven is acting up.  It took 6 times last night for it to stay on.  Keep getting an F5 message. We had a repairman out the other night - the oven is 20 years old or more, and they don't even make that size anymore which would mean remodeling some if we replace it.  To work on the controls it will cost over $500 - which is why we have the service warranty on items within the house.  I sent him a video of the oven starting to come on and then shutting down. He said he had to have something to prove that the controls needed replaced.  Will call him today to see if he can get it done. Don't want to mess with the oven if I want to bake! 

Other than church - and baking - I have Needles of Hope in the morning. I didn't go in January so I will need to catch up with everyone.  

Sitting here and looking at this room - I have so much 'stuff' still on the bed.  I have plans for this material I have had laying there for over a year.  I need to quit being lazy and work on it, right?  So many projects I want to do - UGH.  I have two diamond art Christmas projects that I want to get back to.  Our cleaning people were here yesterday so I can pull them both out and get started once again.  Well, I need to focus on the smallest one and get it put away and then go back to the bigger one.  So much I want to do!!  Fun stuff for me - but doing it....

Should work on our tax stuff this weekend.  Yeah, probably should do that versus my play stuff, right?  Get it over and done with!  Hubby has pretty much pulled his stuff together - but I haven't even looked at mine yet.  I have thrown it in a box versus being all over my desk.  I bought a plastic container to throw everything in for this year - I have in the past, just kept stacking on the desk in folders, and when they got too big... the receipts just got stacked on top.  I probably lost several.

I need to jump off here and get dressed, and get a note off to Sue that I will be leaving about 7:45am - the 'construction crew' has been at work and the roads leading in all directions to the gym are down to two lanes or less.  I will take the 101 to 75th - and even the ramp is down to one lane, as is 75th when one gets off.  I tried to take Union Hills to 75th the other day - and they have a section leading up to the 101 exit and past down to one lane.  Even coming from the north it is down to one lane on 75th.  No getting around it - so have to allow an extra 15 minutes to get through it.  Usually 3-4 lights to get through.  What a mess.

So - with that - perhaps I'll have more to share tomorrow morning as I'll have more time to ramble. :) I mean more time to write.  Who knows - I may have something interesting to share!

Hope that you have an amazing day and that you do something kind for someone else.   Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  We all know that scripture, don't we?

Blessings!

A day I wasn't expecting....

 I didn't get anything done yesterday I had planned to do - other than getting to stay in here a little bit longer.  My entire day got turned upside down - and I'm not complaining, just stating facts.

GOOD NEWS - We headed to go see Dr. Mark at noon (appt @ 1PM) and got there a little early.  Dr Mark comes in and says "I don't know what happened, but all the test results are back to normal."  I looked at him and go "DUH, we prayed over him and God healed him!"  Truly - all his numbers are right where they should be - and Dr. Mark said he didn't need to see him again until after the first of the year.  My next appointment is February 9, so there was an opening after mine and we put hubby there so that we only have to make one trip to the doctor.  Guess I will need to plan on taking that day off work. Praise God for healing his body.

After we left the doctor's office and walked to the car, I was in the car first and waiting for hubby to get in it. He didn't, and I kept looking around to see where he was.  I had parked next to a curbed rock divider (separating the parking area in sections).  Finally I saw movement - and jumped out of the car.  Hubby had fallen in the rocks and had hit against the car on the other side of the rocks.  But, he fell knees first on the rocks.  A lady in that car felt it being hit and jumped up and she and I helped him up.  His knees were a bloody mess, literally.  I turned him right around and we walked back in to Dr. Mark's office.  This is why I love Dr. Mark.  He didn't have a patient after hubby so it was perfect timing.  He got hubby up on their 'thing' (can't think what it is called) in the room, had him lay back, and for over an hour, Dr. Mark patiently worked on both knees, pulling out rocks, gently washing, cleansing the areas, putting antibiotics on, and bandaging both knees.  He cut away the peeled skin flaps.  When we finally left, it was probably around 3PM-3:30PM.  We had to stop at Walgreens so that he could get a Tdap shot as it had been several years.  I picked up bandages and tape so that I could fix it again. Dr. Mark had told hubby to get in the shower and let the water hit the knees before taking the bandages off so that they didn't stick, wash out good with soap to get the rest of the little pieces of gravel he could not get out, and then I was to bandage back up.  

Being the knees and the movement causes the bandages to slide down the leg, created problems, but we finally got him home, showered, and re-bandaged.  He didn't go to church last night, but I did.  He managed to get through the night, but when he came in this morning, both bandages had slid off the knee cap.  I told him to cut them off and let the air hit.  He will take a shower and wash them again, and I'll add antibiotics (I have a cream that Dr. Mark said was ok to use) - and suggested he let the air dry it as much as possible.  He isn't going anywhere today so should be ok.  I love, too, that Dr. Mark told him that if he has any problems, to come back to the office and he will look at the knees.

So that was our day yesterday.  I was with hubby from noon until I was able to leave for our group at church.  I got absolutely nothing done that I had planned - including baking cookies for group. I bought a package of Oreos to take.  He is doing fine this morning, I think. He groaned at times during the night, which woke me up, but I think he slept fairly well with the pain.

The youngest made it home yesterday from his travels and first stop (I think) was to see his new granddaughter.  He already has a name for her.  We chatted a bit last night via text. 

My daughter and SIL leave tomorrow morning early to head to New Mexico for a week to visit family there.  Get one back and another leaves.  

Speaking of family - I think I mentioned before a grandson had contacted me last week and wanted to come visit and bring his baby over to meet his great-grandparents.  He touched base again last night and they will be coming over around 11AM today, I think. I told him I had a dr appointment at 10:30 but would be home by 10:45, so he said they would be over after that. I'm thinking 11AM-ish.  We haven't met this little one yet so I'm excited.  I have some baby blankets and will pull some out to see if they want any for him.  When they had the baby shower, I didn't know what sex the baby was so don't think I brought any blankets I had made.  If they don't want any, that's fine, but I will offer.

And today I am back to work in about 20 minutes.  I cleared out some messages from my phone last night. Today I'll skim the deleted ones to make sure I didn't hit one that I need to do something with. My finger swiping sometimes gets carried away.  I have things to get done, but nothing crazy, I don't think. I saw I have a few meetings I need to get scheduled first thing. 

This year is flying by, for sure.  I knew it was coming, but when I saw the email from Lori about Needles of Hope being this Saturday, I was surprised it was time already.  Where is all the time going!  Saturday is November 1st!  Have we packed out days so full that they days no longer stand alone but run together?

I slept a little later this morning as hubby kept me awake most of the night with his groaning and tossing and turning. I was afraid I might hit one of the knees so stayed totally at the edge of the bed, giving hubby full rein of the rest of the room.  And he took it. And we have a king size bed!  Not getting much reading done this morning.  I hope I'm back on track mentally tomorrow and can dive back into my usual routine.

But, for now, I need to jump off here, fire up the work computer, and get dressed.  I guess this is somewhat informative, and yet, full of ramblings once again.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll have something better to share tomorrow.  Until then,

Blessings!

It was a good day

 We went to church yesterday morning and the pastor preached a very good message. Came home for a bit before heading over to the graduation party for the grandson.  Did a quick run to pick up a granddaughter and her son so that they could attend for awhile.  Food was good.  Ate more wings than I ever have (4 or 5) I think.  Even the hot and the mango something or other - it wasn't that hot.  The hot was more hot, I think.  Anyway - food was good and I ate way too much.  Stayed a few hours then took the granddaughter and great grandson back home and we came home.  I did not cook dinner.  

But I did do a run to the grocery store cause I plan to do some cooking today.  I haven't done it for a little while and want to - making garbage, and maybe my spaghetti sauce, and taking some over to Ms. Diane, Ms. Vicky, and possibly a new one, Dee.  I'm older than she is by several years and she lives across from Ms. Vicky and next to Ms. Diane.  She fell the other day and I'm not sure what to call it, but they had to put a metal plate over her knee and she also chipped bones on both sides of it - or something like that. But she is single, and is laid up.  I've noticed a couple cars there off and on the past few days and she had told hubby her son and daughter have been there to take care of her.  I'm still debating if I need to take food over, but hubby seems to think 'that would be nice'.  This is the lady who I went to lunch with right after she moved in and she irritated me enough that I refuse to do it again.  She ruined my lunch by trying to tell me what to do about something in my job I was working on.  And she never shuts up.  Anyway - I may not take anything there, but I still have the other two.

I finished The Power of Persistence last night and that makes 20 books for the year that I have remembered to input and check off in Goodreads.  I have 30 to hit my goal.  Now if I read fiction novels, I'd probably have two-three a week - lol - but because I like reading books that help me, not entertain me so much, it takes me a bit longer.  And then there is the TV, of course.  We watched several episodes of NCIS (gotta love Mark Harmon) and then watched a movie.  It was nearly 11PM before we went to bed.  And of course my mental side woke up about 4AM.  But sometime during the night my watch was buzzing that the battery was low.  That's why I flip back and forth on a watch.  My Apple I have to charge every day, sometimes before I even go to bed!  But I am used to it and it did cost a lot of money.  Which is why I hang on to it and keep using it. Some day, though, I may just change my mind...

As mentioned above, today I plan to cook garbage and spaghetti sauce and put some int he freezer for hubby for when I'm gone later this week.  YES!  Two more days and it's JAILBREAK TIME, Baby!!  We head out Thursday morning and won't be back until Sunday afternoon.  I am working the next two days (off today, of course) but then four happy days away.  Back to my thoughts, I will take some of the food to the two women and then put some in the freezer for hubby while I'm gone.  I need to figure out what else he can eat. Poor thing, he won't cook, but he can heat up food.  He can fry bacon and eggs so I'm not worried about him and breakfast.  He may even lose a couple pounds while I'm gone. LOL  While I may gain it!  After all, it's vacation, right?

I have done some additional sleeping this morning here in my chair so am grateful that I don't have to work today.  And, I 'm in no hurry to come out  - but it is after 8AM and I probably should.  I think hubby got up at 5 or so.  After he brought my coffee, I just settled back in my chair and went back to sleep.  I read my bible until I started falling asleep, so put it away and really fell back into a deep sleep. Just because I could.  I'm more alert now. But reading this, you may wonder, right?

I saw that Phil Robertson, the great Duck Commander, as they called him, has passed away.  He was only 79 and it does make someone around that age or older pause and think.  I will be 76 this year, and yet I don't 'feel' like it.  I'm grateful I have pushed to be somewhat active, although not as much as I want to be.  I told hubby the other night that we are not going to spend the summer sitting at home, that I want to do things.  He just looked at me.  Cost-wise, I will be figuring out what.  I know we have talked about going up to Bearizona and I would love to go, but it is always more fun to go with someone else.  I think they close some during the summer, will have to go online and see when that is. Maybe it can be a place we go to this summer.

It's already 80 degrees out.  Not going to be going out much today!  I do want to run to Walmart this morning for a couple things.  But will need to fix breakfast first for hubby.  It's not open yet anyway.  And I'm in my jammies.  

It was so good to spend some time with both my boys yesterday, even though I had to share them. 

John 3:17 (NKJV):  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.

Can you even imagine the thought of sending your child, your son, your one and only begotten son, to save someone else?  I can't.  But that is what God did, for you and for me.  Or is it for me, and for you?  I am grateful that God did that for us.  I definitely needed saving.  And you do too.  Life is so much better when you follow Jesus.  He doesn't tell you to change your life.  He just tells you to 'Follow Me'.  In time, you will want to change your life to reflect His.  I still have a long way to go.  Trying to shut my mouth and not make sarcastic comments is hard at times.  I REALLY ran some thoughts through my head this week.... but I resisted saying ANYTHING.  Can you even imagine that!  But I knew that I shouldn't so I was able to keep most, if not all thoughts, silent.  It's a learning and slow process, so please bear with me.

Our neighbors are in their courtyard with a shovel. They just have had a plant die or something.  They are nice neighbors, but keep to themselves anymore, just like we do.  My one rose tree is just not going to make it, my other one is still fighting to live.  I didn't think about the sun beating down on them and killing them right from the 'get go' but it has.  The center rose bush that has been there since we moved in is also showing signs of dying.  Too much sun I guess.  My jasmine are next to the house and seem to be fairing well.  As are the other plants that are under the roof next to the garage.  However, the two beautiful pots of petunias I had set out on the columns are totally dead.  I need to take them down and go buy a few plants and put in there. Vincas this time, I'm thinking. They seem to fair well in hot weather.

And with that, I need to get off here and get started on my day. At least get dressed.

Memorial Day.  A day to remember those who have gone before us.  My oldest son posted a photo of his father's gravestone. It always grabs me when I see it.  We were together during his time in Viet Nam.  He learned to smoke and drink when he was in the army, but never too much.  That I'm aware of, anyway.  And with that, my thoughts are everywhere so am off here.

Have a great day!  Be safe!

Blessings!

It was another busy day

 22 messages awaited me yesterday morning when I finally got on the work computer.  (WHERE are all these gnats coming from?  They are everywhere!  Just 'got' another one!).  I notice I have several this morning.  When I came in here, hoping for quiet, my work computer was making very loud noises.  I did a restart and it didn't help, so I just shut it down.  Which means I've lost the things I had 'up' still so that I'd remember to get them done.  Now I will need to backtrack and see what I need to do.

I'm hoping that now that I've shut the computer completely down that it won't be making noises when I bring it back up.  If it does, will need to contact the service desk and have them possibly replace my computer.  It's annoying.  I could have left it up and running, but I like my QUIET time - not the noisy humming of a computer next to me.  Sure hope I saved everything. 

I finally got over to visit Ms. Vicky last night.  I had my workout and then hubby and I stopped at Popeye's for 'dinner' as I was too tired to cook.  (My trainer killed my legs)  While we were eating Ms. Vicky called about getting her roof replaced and wanted hubby and I to come over n Thursday to see the samples the roof guy is bringing to see if they match.  Why are we involved?  Because hubby is president of the HOA and the HOA says the shingles have to match the other half of the duplex.  I about had a fit - thank goodness her insurance says they will pay for it - which is stupid - they want $20,000 for replacing half a duplex's roof!  I say it is about 10K too much!  But, the insurance said they'd pay it - she only has to pay the $500 deductible and she is trying to figure out how to get them to 'eat that' too.  Anyway - we said we'd go over on Thursday afternoon to look at the shingles and see if there is a match that HOA will approve.  Personally, I would never live in an HOA again.  I would love to sell this place and move - because of the HOA - and I don't care that hubby IS president of the HOA - we fight about it all the time. From the water, to trees, to landscaping, to flowers - you name it, and we fight about it. I don't like them doing things halfway and it looks crappy.  Anyway, I'll move along rather than get riled about it this morning.  I want my own place where I can take care of my own yard and plant my own plants and trim my own trees.  Go away and let me alone!

Yesterday work was horrendously busy and today may prove to be the same.  So many tasks, so many meetings and when I get incomplete emails it just drives me crazy. I had to shut down right at 4pm cause I had to leave for the gym, but I left a lot of work undone. And I didn't really care.  I did not bother to come back to it when I got home, but watched the rest of Walker Texas Ranger with hubby and then he turned the TV off.  I meant to read, but ended up scrolling for the next 20 minutes before going to bed.  I don't like it when I end up wasting time scrolling.  I have a life to live and scolling sure does take away from it.

Tonight I have girls night out and plan to meet up with my daughter.  We have been working on this diamond art piece that my big brother had sent me so will grab something for dinner and will spend the evening working on it.  It is relaxing and very much time consuming, but as you see how much you can get done, it is so satisfying.  I am enjoying it myself and have a couple other projects like it that I want to get and to work on.  Definitely have to have light and my reading glasses on to see the numbers and letters of the colors - but I do enjoy working on it.  In fact, I have a small one I am working on for a gift and I worked on it last night.  Didn't get much done, but still can see how much I did.  Like I said, it is very relaxing.

Psalm 20:4 (NKJV):  May He grant you according to your heart's desire, and fulfill all your purpose.

That is the scripture I was directed to in one of my devotionals today.  As I ponder the scriptures before it and after, I see that it is a request that God will protect in battle, will handle any conflicts, will provide assistance in whatever comes at you.  And then, 'May He grant you according to your heart's desire, and fulfill all your purpose.'  What a great thing to read when you are asking God for things.  When we ask, don't we want our heart's desires met?  Of course I would have to say that it also depends on what we THINK our heart desires.  Does it desire a big meal?  Does it desire financial freedom?  Does it desire... you can fill in the blank.  What does your heart desire?  Have you asked Him for it?  Not for the above questions, silly, but for real things.  Like protection of yourself and those you love.  Do you pray for protection - even a sentence prayer - that your spouse or child will be protected as they travel to where they are going?  I will admit I don't do it EVERY time, but I do frequently pray that God will protect hubby and his vehicle as he goes out, that He will keep him safe, that He will also protect those that surround hubby, that the vehicle being driven will keep working.  I even pray that over my children - lots of times!  Especially on road trips I know about and when I know they will be out and about.  One can not pray enough for those we love.  And He does grant us according to our heart's desire, and fulfills our purpose - our purpose of praying for those we love.

I received two very nice emails from my two friends who attended on Saturday.  The one for whom I had been covering is back to work (YAY).  Yesterday's nightmare was from our accounts payable system being upgraded over the weekend and as I tried to input invoices yesterday morning - found I was not approved as a coder on one, and on another account number it keeps coming back that it is an invalid number - and I've been using it for at least 5 years - and I couldn't submit that invoice either.  Finally got added to the one as a coder so could get that invoice off - but I'm still having fits o the other account number.  I even brought our finance guy in to it.  I don't know how it ended up since I walked away at 4PM.  All day long I had to deal with trying to submit this last invoice and it would tell me it was invalid.  But they wouldn't fix it!  Guess I will find out what happened to it this morning. Either it will 'start again' or they will have fixed it.

And with that - think I will stop my rambling thoughts and jump off here.  I have a few minutes yet that I can just sit still and wait on God.  I've already done my praying, but sometimes something will trigger a thought and another prayer is needed.  I love these moments before I need to get on the work computer and I can sit on the floor, look out my window, and just be with Jesus.  Try it, you will find it is refreshing.

Blessings!

I was happy and content....

 After our quiet time, after watching the 2nd service of Free Chapel (which wasn't as good as the first service!) I asked hubby about going physically to the church we want to try.  He sometimes drives me crazy.  Something I say, or something we discussed weeks or months previously, he will remember and stand firm on it... and yet, something I request today, he will find every excuse to not do it.  For example, I walked into the kitchen after my quiet time yesterday and he was sitting there eating breakfast.  I asked him if he was eating all carbs, because he also needed to eat some protein.  I thought I'd fix egg sandwiches but he informed me "you said a long time ago that you do not cook on Sundays, that you will only cook on weekends".  What I had said - many months ago - was that on Sundays when we were speaking (and needed to be there by 8:30AM), that I would not fix breakfast and if he wanted to eat, he would have to have a bowl of cereal.  He would defend adamantly that I said I would not fix breakfast any Sunday (although I do if he hasn't started eating yet!).  I fixed my egg sandwich and ate it.  The other thing he says that I said... which I may have but not in these words... was that we wouldn't attend physically the church we want to try until after we were through speaking (in March).  I may have said that so that he wouldn't keep bugging me.  But I was mentally ready to go yesterday, and I think it was more that he didn't want to clean up to go.

So I got busy and filled my late morning/early afternoon with things I enjoy doing.  I put a roast in the crock pot.  I put on a pot of split pea and ham soup, I made a lemon meringue pie, and I made that grapefruit pie I mentioned yesterday.  Now that grapefruit pie is interesting.  I made it almost totally different than what the recipe said.  It said to use ruby red grapefruit.  I didn't.  I used my neighbor's grapefruit, which is pink.  I guess the taste may be different.  It called for strawberry gelatin.  All I had was cherry sugar-free gelatin.  It said to put the grapefruit in sections; I cut up in bitesize pieces.  See - I did it all differently, but you know what - I still like it!  A dollop of whipped cream on top and you have a mixture of sweet and grapefruit.  I actually like it!  But I may have to try it the right way so that I can see what the difference is.

My neighbor called right after I finished (and cleaned up) my baking.  She had people over stripping her fruit trees - specifically the tangelo tree, which I love the juice from it.  So I took her a couple pieces of pie (one of each) and a large bag, into which the helper brought into my house and emptied a big bucket full into.  Now I have a lot more to juice up (or give away) and put in my freezer.  I have 3-4 bags of orange juice, a couple bags of grapefruit, and lemon juice all in my freezer already.  But I have gotten used to drinking a glass of fresh orange juice every morning.  Good fresh vitamin C.

Hubby watched football the rest of the day and I sat and crochet after all that baking and cooking.  We did eat some for dinner, but will be putting some in the freezer.  After a couple meals, I've had enough.  Have to get rid of this pie, though.  Maybe will take some over to the neighbor on the other side of us.  Pie doesn't last as long as some things and needs to be eaten fairly fresh.  That lemon meringue pie turned out really good too.

Today I'm back at work and wonder what the week will be like.  I haven't looked at the calendar yet.  Sigh. I wish hubby would just pretend I'm not here during the week.  He is the one insisting I keep working; although I will admit that financially it does help us be able to do things.  We can make it without my job, but we would have to do less than we do now - not that we do much.  But I'm ok with that - but the thought of having to spend 24/7 in the house... just shoot me and put me out of my misery.  LOL  Just kidding.  I have my books.  I have puzzles (and I have one out on the table again...just haven't gotten to it for a few days).  Hubby is always insisting we do things TOGETHER that I am afraid that if I didn't have my job, that I would cease to exist as a person.  He recognizes that he has a 'control' issue, but sometimes it is 'out of control'.  I get in trouble if I do something without asking him to help.  I didn't need his help so why would I ask?  I'm a big girl.  I don't have a broken leg.  I can get up and get my own glass of water.  sigh.

Perhaps that is why I love to be in the kitchen, baking and cooking.  He will sometimes get in my way because he thinks he has to eat or die of starvation, but overall, will leave me alone while I'm cooking.  He checks in of course, on what I'm doing, and wanting to try it.  But I can be left alone with my thoughts and Alexa plays music in the background for me.  I love to make it and give it away.  I don't usually want it  after I make it, but want to give it to someone else to have.  And if no one wants it, it goes in the freezer.  

I read in Luke chapter 12 this morning about how God gives us all that we need.  When we seek after Him first, He will give us all that we need. One of the parables in this chapter is about the rich fool who had an overwhelming supply of crop - and instead of giving the excess away, he to build more storage to hold the excess.  And a reminder comes that tomorrow is not promised to us.  The things that we hold on to for ourselves, will either go to waste or be taken by another for at any moment, our lives may be no more.

I can sit here in my chair and think about all that I have and what I want to do with it, but within seconds, my life can be removed from me and this blog will remain unfinished forever.  The things I have will have no further value to me.  Those that I love and pray for, my love and prayers for them will remain forever, and at some point, they will be answered.  

My prayer today has been that what I have will be used for the glory of God.  I've always had dreams of having studies and prayer groups in my home (especially in our other house where we had all that room), but they never came to fruition.  Perhaps partly my fault; but ... well, let's just leave it at that.  God knows what my heart desires and what can happen.  I would love to have something here, but.... oh I have the excuses.  Some legit, some because I have ... well... let's change that subject.

I'm starting to ramble... been doing that a lot lately, I think.  It's 6:22AM and I need to get up and get dressed; turn my computer on, and see what I have ahead of me for today.  I am still struggling with a longing to run away by myself for a few days...but that will never happen.  I think I've had that longing for years.  I just need to get alone with God without any interruptions.  I have a lot of issues I need to work on.  A lot of things I need to process.  And even more that I need to let go of.  

You know the serenity prayer - 'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.'  It is a true prayer.  

Is it one you need to pray as well?  Where are you at in it?  I know where I am.

Blessings.

The simplier days....

 I read my son's blog this morning and now my eyes are wet.  I hadn't heard that story he told before... and as amusing as it is now, I can see it happening then.  I believe his father was well respected in town.  I have a lot of memories - most I have forgotten, I admit, until something will trigger a thought.  I was so naive ... and still am in so many ways.... but back then, I didn't have a clue about life.  I'm glad I got to read that this morning.  Memories are sometimes a good thing, and some one can get lost in.

Yesterday was a good day for friends.  I forgot I was to have lunch with a couple of the executive assistants from work who are friends.  I always feel so inferior as far as knowlege of computer programs - I don't use them, never have, don't want to, don't want to learn.  They use them and talk about how helpful they are for what they do.  One supports the President and the other supports the Chief Financial Officer.  Thus far, none of my leaders have used these programs so why do I have to learn them?  I can go to the programs and get the idea of what they are for - but I am a 'hands on learn as I go' type of person... don't just tell me or show me a video.  I have to actually do the steps myself in order to learn it.  I suppose sometime I should...but why...   I think I don't want to learn because I don't plan to move up the ladder or change jobs.  Just leave me alone where I am.   Anyway, we had lunch yesterday and since I was with them, the two hours we were gone I didn't have to worry about.  We did talk some about work, but mainly about the struggles the one has in the process of her divorce and being a single mom to two young boys.   I just sit and listen.  She doesn't want advice; I'm not sure what she wants, other than an outlet to share her anger and frustration at her ex and the things he is putting her through.  

Then I got a surprise text in the afternoon from a friend that we often meet for dinner.  She said she knew it was short notice, but could we meet at Applebees for dinner... I checked and we had nothing going on so we met with them.  Great food and great friendship.  I love the grilled chicken, garlic mashed potatoes and broccoli at Applebees.  Seasoned just right and just enough for me. 

I am finding I am busy with gaining a new boss.  He doesn't have me do much yet; just a few meetings, but he does ask questions or I occasionally have directions for him to do something.  The 'other' new boss is starting to send things too - altho she is not officially my boss until the day after labor day.  I may have to learn the new programs because of her.  Not really looking forward to working with her, but I must remain positive - it may just be my fears of having to learn things I don't want to learn.

I have a lot on my mind this morning as I search for things to write about.  Thoughts come to me, but many I do not want to share.  No need to.  Just my opinions on things.  Or my comments.  My sister reminded me last night as we talked - about how sharp a tongue can be.  Luckily, this time it was not directed at me but at our great-niece, whom she tells others is her 'daughter'.  She has written the great-niece a note about something she doesn't agree with.  My heart is grieved; about the situation she wrote about, but more so about her letters.  I've been on the receiving end, even recently, and they are cruel and hurtful and sharp.  They are full of her feelings, her anger, that needs an outlet and it is a strike at anyone close to her.

Then I have to sit back and think about myself.  How sharp is my tongue when I talk to others.  I hope that I weigh my words and choose not to use them if they are sharp.  I know I do have a lot of thoughts about some issues, but I rarely will confront someone by letter - or in person.  I instead pray about them and ask God to intervene in the issues, or remove them from my mind.  And God answers the way He chooses is best.  I have to trust Him and leave my heart with him.

Oh man, I have written and erased in nearly every paragraph this morning.  Life is hard sometimes, and never to be walked alone.  But sometimes it is best to pour out those feelings - whatever they may be - out to Jesus and ask Him to intervene and take care of them.  Things still may not work out the way I want them to, but I would never want to anger or hurt anyone, by a critical and sharp spirit.  I would rather sit down one on one and talk it through and listen to them, and hope they listen to me.

Proverbs 15:1, 3    "A soft answer turns away wraft, but a sharp word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge wisely, but the mouths of fools pours forth foolishness........ A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit." 

Have you broken someone's spirit lately by your harsh words?  Perhaps you need to go back to that person and tell them you love them, and you didn't mean those words to come out like they did.  Perhpas open the door for a dialog about that situation; and for the most part, listen to what they share.  And if they don't want to talk about it, or share, you have done your part.  Sometimes people just want others to listen.  That's why we have so many counselors ... I wish we had better ones... but friends also can listen... don't need their response... just need someone to care enough to 'hear' us.  That helps a lot.

So today, review in your mind if you have spoken with a harsh or critical spirit - and go to that person to make amends.  In your frustration anger can come forth - I deal with that a lot - but I'm also learning that I need to maintain boundaries within my own emotions before I share what's on my mind.

The movie 'Walking Tall' just popped into my mid.  That was a good movie.  Walk softly and carry a big stick - right?  

Have a great day - be kind, speak softly. Love with all your heart.

Blessings.

Sunday.....can I just withdraw from life?

 I'm tired this morning.  Physically, mentally, emotionally... so very tired.  I really would like to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head and just hide.  But, I cannot, nor will I.  Life is meant to be lived, not buried under the covers.  I intend to live life so in order to do that, I must pull myself together and just do it!

We had talked of physically going to a church this morning, but I just can't today.  In fact, when hubby brought in my coffee to me this morning and I asked if we could stay home and watch on TV another church, his comment back to me was that when he awoke he felt that we should stay home and watch this other church we were going to attend in person today - online.  We may watch both....  one because the Bible study he goes to on Wednesday morning, several of the men go there and they discuss the message before the study and hubby always feels left out.  This way he can be a part of the conversation.  The other service because our friends are encouraging us to attend (and that is where we had planned to go today).  We still haven't found a 'church home'.  I think I'm missing that.

The devotional I read today really spoke to me.  It's from the devotional 'I Hear His Whisper'.  I love this little devotional for it has a way of speaking to me.  Read this...

Beloved, the enemy has held you in bondage long enough. You have been through fire, but now is the time for refreshing rain. Though at times you barely held on to hope, you sought me with all that you had. I saw it all.  And behind the scenes, I was working on your behalf, though you couldn't see it. What felt like loss will turn into victory.

The prison doors are flinging wide. Follow me out. Don't allow the past to define you. Throw off those grave clothes and wrap yourself in garments of glorious praise. Don't hold on to unforgiveness.  Surrender your right to hold a grudge. I will rewrite your history and give you a new story - a story of provision, a story of joy, a story of healing. The enemy has tried to insert false chapters of delay and hopelessness into your story, but he has been stopped. As you look to me with expectation and see the breakthrough with eyes of faith, I will come.  I will lead the way out of this season and into the one I have promised you.'

Sometimes we allow the enemy to wear us down with slights, grudges, busyness, hurt feelings, so many little twinges of feelings.  I know I am guilty of allowing myself to get beaten up with life.  I think that is what I am going through right now.  And it has made me extremely weary.  My tears have been withheld, and yet, I know that each tear that falls, is noticed by my God.

So where are you at this morning?  Are you living your life to the fullest and are on top of the mountain?  Or are you like me this morning, feeling weary and down in the valley?   Wherever you are, look up.  We are not forsaken.  We are not alone.  

There is a song, and some of you may remember it:   I sing because I'm happy.  I sing because I'm free.  His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Singing may be hard right now, but try it.  Sing a song that brings joy to your heart.  If you can't think of one, sing:  

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.  Little ones to Him belong, they are weak, but He is strong.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  The Bible tells me so.

Yes.  The answer is Yes.  He watches over the sparrows, and He loves us.  He loves us with an uncomprehensible love.  There is nothing we can do to ever escape His love for you and for me.  He waits for us with open arms, always, just waiting for us to turn to Him.

I'm thinking of crawling up in His lap for a little while and having a chat with Him about my life.  What about you?  His arms are open for you too.  And His lap is perfect.

Blessings.