Thinking about it....still....

 Some changes are coming around the corner for work - besides getting two new bosses eventually.  You know how much I don't like doing the boards - not that they are hard; they are not. I just don't like doing them.  But with that thought and comment aside, what is going on?  I think I'm just tired.  NOW I get an email that we have to change our signature lines in our emails (is it really THAT important?) and make them a certain way.  So that we all can be 'one team'.  I'm so sick of that term.  And no, I haven't done anything yet.  I really think the only thing I will need to do is remove my 'handwriting' of my first name.  But I'm not going to fuss with it right now.  Minor things.  I'm tired. Perhaps that is it?  

Sue and I have been chatting about her retirement July 31st.  I'm really happy for her.  She and Paul have plans of things to do.  They just completely remodeled their home last year - all new appliances in the kitchen, new drapes, new flooring, etc.  I couldn't ever do that, but that's ok.  She is starting to get excited about retiring, and I'm excited for her.  Then today, with these silly emails about changes... well, November 20th is looking really good to me right now.  Or even January lst.  I just need to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

But then, sitting at home with hubby now is driving me insane... but then, couldn't I also start taking some classes and getting involved in things without him?  Maybe that would motivate him to do something besides sit and watch TV or play on his phone?  What am I afraid of?   Ok- enough of my mind going chasing the clouds.... I need to focus on today.

Today will be another long day.  Even Sue only has one meeting today. I will start going through my files and deleting some things that I no longer need to keep and send my personal stuff to my personal email. I will stay in here once hubby gets home.  But I have gotten a lot of things completed while he has been gone to his bible study.  I ran both new bedspreads through the dryer to loosen them up - and have made both beds (yes, I actually cleaned this one off!!).  I zipped up my heavy bedspread and have taken it out to the garage.  I broke down some amazon boxes that were overtaking the area.  I even took a few jumps on my rebounder.  Sue & I and Kynda and I have been chatting on Teams this morning about things.  So, yeah, I have been somewhat busy.  I love being alone (at least for now).  I've fixed myself a cup of hot tea and I'm sitting in front of my work computer.  I need to take off this afternoon and run down to the UPS dropoff at Staples - have some things to return to Amazon.   Yeah, may be a long day before too long.

Morgan took it easy on me last night - and even let me choose what I wanted to do.  I told her legs, as that was what I had mentally prepared for.  We only did 3-4 sets of 3 exercises, and they weren't hard ones - squats with weights, squat and pulse with a band at the knees, and one machine - leg extensions.  Seriously, nothing hard.  But I tell you what - my thighs and my butt is telling me another story!  I need to write those down.  I think that if I can write down what I do each time, I can do them on my own. After all, I won't be able to afford training once I retire....  As much as I enjoy the training, and it has helped me gain strength, I have my priorities and paying for training isn't one of them.

Well, I'm at a loss to write about anything of value today.  My mind is racing as to what else can I do before hubby gets home in about 30 minutes.  Maybe start going through my closet?  Naw... that's an all day job.  I could clean off this desk. Naw... I can do that another time.  Maybe I just need to do up a calendar and put something on it every day that I can accomplish without a lot of chatter.  Or not. 

Anyway - hope that you have an amazing day and do something fun - for you and for others.

Blessings!

Cough Cough Sneeze Sneeze....sigh

 will this ever stop?  Hubby and I are both miserable with this cold we have 'caught'.  I spent spent nearly $200 on various Musinex, Robitussin, and various cough packages.  I'm exhausted and when we went to bed last night at around 8:30PM - yep, did not stay up to watch the ball fall - we slept in separate rooms.    Let me back up.  Hubby felt bad enough he curled up in his 'blanket' in his recliner and didn't move from it around 11AM.  I had to work, but shut down about 2:30PM as I just couldn't sit there any more.  I laid on the couch, covered up in afghans, and slept most of the evening.  Got up and we came to bed - and I was awake off and on during the night, but didn't get my butt out of bed until 6AM this morning - I just didn't want to get up.

I am fixing ribs, but don't need to cook until 10 or so - we aren't going anywhere anyway.  I'll take some over to my daughter's since she can't cook.  But other than that, we are staying home.  I figure the more rest I get, the better and sooner I will feel.  I hope so, anyway.  I can't remember when I've laid around as much as I have already.  I just want to get better.

January 1, 2026.  For some reason this day doesn't hold as much excitement as it has in the past.  Could it be that we've dealt with so much sickness in our family this year that it's just another day?  Could it be that I just don't feel energetic due to this cold, that it is just another day?    Grateful I have the day off work; grateful I could stay in bed until 6AM just because I didn't want to get up.  But up I am. Have my coffee, taken my Musinex day pills.  Those things are horse pills, but if they will work, I'll take them.  Ugh. Every time I cough, my throat goes raw.  

I can remember back to New Years Days of years past, and the fun of family gathering together, me fixing tons (literally, it seemed!) of ribs.  Fixing coleslaw.  Heating up black-eyed peas.  I bought a small head of cabbage, but don't know that it will make itself into anything.  I'm just not 'feeling' creative today.  At least with the ribs I can just sear and then roll in BBQ sauce and put in the oven.

Reminds me, my little sister called me yesterday to ask how I made my ribs.  I don't know about her.  She has called me frequently the past few months, wanting to know how to cook things. She says she tells her hubby that he should have married me, because I'm the cook int he family.  But I enjoy cooking, and obviously, she does not.  But I supply her with recipes and cookbooks as she asks.  It's not hard to follow a recipe - which is how I learn to make things.  Ribs, though, that was me. :-)  Mama always fixed a ham on New Years Day.

The 'poor man's lunch' it is called.  In Tennessee, for those who know the tradition, it is pork (pork chops, ham, pork ribs, etc - anything pork), cabbage (mama sometimes would fix cooked cabbage and pork chops together) (don't know how to cook cabbage and it just doesn't appeal to me), and black-eyed peas.  I buy the cans; I'm lazy.  But I remember a few years back I had run into an old friend at Sprouts and she was planning a traditional New Years Dinner - and was buying a huge bag of black-eyed peas to cook 'from scratch'.  Naw, I'll do the can. I'm about the only one who will eat it anyway.  But, if you will eat pork, cabbage, and black-eyed peas on New Years Day (the traditional poor man's lunch), it is supposed to bring you good luck in the coming year.  No, I don't believe in 'luck'; I do this to carry on my mama's tradition.  I hope my children will do the same.  And can't forget the coin in the coleslaw - it is to bring good luck as well. 

Traditions - some are good, some are silly, and some make no sense at all.  But for me, it is trying to carry on the memory of things my mama did.  I miss her so much.  So many times I have wished to call her and just cry, and she always understood.  Didn't need words.  After I finished my crying or 'belly-aching', she would just say, "well, just pray for them, they need it."

I miss that relationship with my children, and yet, I know why.  Nothing I can do about that .... but pray.

Speaking of, I am trying to think of how I can change up my quiet time in the mornings.  My time is limited, as you know, but I do have time to do some things.  I may eliminate writing in here every day - you don't need to hear my daily whining anyway, do you?  

My fast will begin on Sunday.  I want to do the Daniel Fast - just fruit and vegetables and water.  For 21 days.  I want to cleanse my body of all the processed food I've put in it - that is making me sick.  You didn't know that processed food can do that?  Sure it can!  It is always better to eat fresh fruit and vegetables (or frozen, it is almost like fresh).  I try to think how Daniel would have eaten the fruit and vegetables in his day.  It troubles my heart when I read the books on the 'Daniel Fast' and they have created these wonderful dishes of how to cook fruits and vegetables and adding all this 'stuff' to it... that is NOT a true Daniel Fast.  And I believe that God will honor whatever I choose to do.  I want to put Him first in 2026.  Not food.  Not me. Not the things that bring me joy or the things that trouble my heart.  Jesus only.

1 Corinthians 5:16 (NIV):  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:  The old has gone, the new is here!

Think about it.  Many times we put off starting a new diet until the 'new year' (or month, or week, etc.) because we want to start with a 'home base'.  Why not give your life up to Jesus and start today - January 1, 2026 with living for Him.

It isn't hard.  Yes, most of us (me definitely included) struggle at times, but Jesus always offers us grace.  He is our best friend; the One who is always with us, always ready to pick us up and help us. He heals us; He restores us.  He takes the pain that we carry so deep within us that it has become a part of our life and we don't even recognize it anymore - but He knows it is there, and He will bring healing and wholeness to us.  

And all we have to do is ask Him for it.  We may not get healing of the body as we ask, but He gives us so much more!  He gives us healing of the soul.  And, in many cases, the Lord knows much better what it is that we need.

Today, I surrender all my family members to Him and ask Him to protect them, heal them, walk with them, and draw them near to Him.  I pray this is the year they will surrender their lives to the only One who can save them.  A mother's greatest joy is knowing her children walk with the Lord.  Not by the world's standards, but by His.

I wish you a blessed New Years Day.  I pray that 2026 will be a year of blessings for you.  Never turn away those who want to help you. And always be ready to give a hand to those who need you to help. Jesus says to 'give, and it will be given to you as well'.  I have seen His hand work time and again.  You want to know why I follow Jesus?  Because He is the only One who can save me from myself; the only One who loves me when I feel I am unloved.  The only One who forgives with grace, and sets me free from my past, from my present, and from my future.  Jesus is my life.  I pray you will make Him yours. 

He isn't there to just help you out of a jam you got yourself in to.  But He will walk with you to find your way out.  How bad do you want His help?  Just ask Him.  He's waiting.

Blessings!

An interesting thought in the middle of the night

 and yet, I can realize how true that interesting thought was.  I'm going to share it, because it may affect you as well.  It took a few days of really feeling worn out; of a day of standing most of the day yesterday with baking cookies; of feeling stiffness getting down on the floor to play with great-granddaughter; of choosing to sit in a chair instead..... and then in the middle of the night..... it hit me.  Perhaps it will 'hit' you as well.

Yes, I work out.  Work out the entire body, in fact.  I'm pretty strong, even with working out only two 30 minute segments a week.  But that's it. And I realize now - that is not enough.  What a typical day for me looks like now is get up, come in here and sit for 2-3 hours reading my Bible, any other book, writing in a journal (on occasion), praying, and continuously sitting in a chair (or reclining) while I type in here.   Then I get up and get dressed (sometimes) and then come back in and sit at the work desk, and sitting at my desk at least 90% of my work day... sitting.....  Then twice a week, I would head to the gym at some point for a great workout.  And come home, (or stop to eat out), cook dinner, sit, and come sit on the couch and sit for the rest of the evening.  

You know where this is going, don't you?   The very things I have complained for years about hubby, I have been doing.  Sitting.  Granted, there is nothing wrong with sitting - IF you are also getting movement at other times. Yes, yesterday I baked some scones, made pumpkin raisin cookies.  My granddaughter and great-granddaughter came over to bake and I was on my feet most of the time for that.  My legs were sore last night- which is why I had this thought in the middle of the night.  My laziness - even with working out twice a week - is showing up big time. And now I need to make the decision to 'fight' it.

I don't want to hurt every time I want to get down on the floor.  I don't want to grunt every time I get up out of a chair (you know you do it too!!).  I may be 76 years old, but I do not want to act old. Does that make sense?  I loved my mother, but I do not want to become my mother, in which she just sat in a chair at the kitchen table, waiting for someone to come visit her.  She only went somewhere when someone took her, and it was always with great effort.

And now that I've finished the last package of donuts I had in the house as I write all this, I'm going to change. (Had to get rid of them; couldn't have them sitting around to tempt me, right?)  Instead of sitting at my desk working all day, I NEED to make myself get up and talk about the house or do a quick walk down to the end of the block and back.  Or even get on the trampoline or treadmill for even ten minutes, just to keep moving.  I cannot allow myself to become immovable because I'm too busy (or too lazy) to get up and take a break walk.  Does that make sense? 

I think it is because I 'saw' and 'felt' it in my body yesterday that in the middle of the night it came to me that I feel it more this year because I am not as active as I have been in previous years.  2026 is the year things will come to change.  I hope to start it now, but, knowing me, it will be a work in progress to work up to it.  I know I will need to explain to hubby and he will want to 'do whatever I do' with me... he just doesn't get it.  He should do it for himself, not do it to be with me. His clinging is getting worse and causes me to withdraw from activity because I can't do it on my own.  UGH. I have to get over myself and my desire to 'do it all by myself' and allow him to help me.

Yesterday, he comes into MY kitchen (to which I've asked him numerous times over the years the kitchen was off limits when I'm cooking) and he asks, "can I help you do dishes?"  I had already washed my dishes and put them away.    He did that twice!  I get his wanting to help (we had had an earlier 'discussion' with his comment "I'm part of this family too!!" over helping with dishes or cooking.  Sigh. I understand his feeling, I truly do.  But it's too late.  I want to do it by myself.

After baking, and my grand and great granddaughters left, my mixing bowl was left in the sink and I decided to do something for my daughter.  The thought had occurred to me the night before, that I need to massage and polish my daughter's toes/feet and fingers/hand.  So I grabbed my red and silver sparkle polish, castor oil to rub on her feet, lotion for her hands, and off I went.  She was surprised to see me as we hadn't talked during the day. But she was excited to have her feet massaged and toes polished, and her hands and fingernails as well.  I am definitely not a professional, and made a mess on her thumb, but still, she was happy to get the massage if not a little color.  When I got home, hubby informed me he had washed the dishes I had left in the sink, and those that I had already washed, he had dried and put away.  He got to do it anyway. :-)   And, yes, I thanked him for doing it.

I saw a person coming in to pick up the trash and was wearing Hoka shoes.  I asked him if he liked them (surprise! I don't have a pair, although my brother recommends them!) and along with saying 'yes' about the shoes, he began to tell me about the insert that he wears (power-something, I think) which I don't remember now, but he said he also has plantar fasciitis (as I have had) and it really helps his feet.  And then I noticed even more how much my feet hurt because they didn't have the support they need (I have a high arch) in my shoe. So, yes, I went to Amazon last night and ordered myself a pair (about $36-$40) of inserts to put in my tennis shoes to get the support on my feet - which will stop the pain in my legs. Maybe it's something you need to look into?  I've bought from a podiatrist when first diagnosed with plantar fasciitis but I think I've worn those out. I have also used Dr. Scholls - but I don't feel I got the results I was seeking.  So I'm willing to spend the $40 to see if these will work. Stay tuned. Or remind me a month from now if they are working as I wear my tennis shoes nearly 5-6 days a week now.

I am working today, but plan to take off early if work allows.  I need to make myself do some workout - upper body today - either at the gym or back in my 'exercise room'. I am pretty sure hubby will push on me to go to the gym with him. And I need to get over my 'fear' of going to exercise on my own. I like Morgan deciding what I'm going to do - and adjusting the seat and the weights for me.  But if it gets hubby there, perhaps I need to encourage that.

Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV):  Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gently and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I know that the majority of my 'complaint' of tiredness and soreness is my lack of activity, but it also had to do with my eating habits.  Donuts for breakfast just don't cut it.  Chocolate to get me through the day, doesn't have what my body needs to retain strength and energy. Skipping meals doesn't even help. I need to start today, and not put off until the January 1 date.  I can say 'no'.  It's just harder to say 'no' to myself when it's screaming 'more! more!'.  You know what I'm talking about.  It's drawing the line and saying 'enough!".  I need to change my behavior, and my eating habits, to regain strength and energy. Not something I WANT to do, and yet, it is.  I NEED to do it as well, if I care anything about my body.  And if I'm eating better, and getting movement in my body, it enhances the clarity of my mind where I can think clearly and get things accomplished.  It's a win-win - right?  How bad do I want it?  How bad do you want it?

And with that, I guess I need to get off here.  I have some time left and I think I need to just be still and be quiet for a bit.  Maybe think about another dream I had which was a good one. And I'll leave that there. Sometimes it's nice to have a dream to hold in your heart. 

Blessings!

Another busy - very busy - day

 I am exhausted.  Or, rather, I was last night. I'm still tired this morning, but at least I got some sleep. I think I am doing too much in too little time. Does that make sense? Probably not. I have been confirming to myself for several days now, I will not allow myself to get caught up in this madness next year.  I'm digging through it still this year.  Yesterday was a 'day' at work... three town hall meetings - and once you hear it, you have heard it, right?  But I had to be on for all three sessions.  By the third one I had quit listening.  I worked as meetings came in along the way.  I couldn't leave my desk, really, because if the EA who was doing the slide presentation had computer problems (which she did before the day started - her computer wouldn't even come up!), I had to be ready to jump and bring up the slides so that the meeting could continue.  By the time the last session ended at 3:30PM, I was tired.  I shut down my computer 5 minutes early because I just didn't want to sit there for five minutes.  And yes, I see I have a couple meetings that came through right at 5PM.  Sigh.

I still have so much to get done for the holidays!  Today is the company 'holiday' party and I'm heading to to the east side about 9:30-ish, I think.  I had said I'd bring a cheeseball for an appetizer - and after visiting my daughter at the rehab after work (SHE GETS DISCHARGED CHRISTMAS DAY!), I came home and cooked dinner - something I haven't done in the past 3 weeks or so.  Nothing fancy, but it made hubby happy he had a meal. Sigh.   After that I got started on gingersnap cookies for my friend Paula; it's her Christmas gift every year because they are her favorites.  I got a gift put together for my friend Cecilia.  Grabbed some of my bread out of the freezer to put in small bags for a few others that may come to the 'party'. I got the cheeseball made.  I had to finish the advent puzzle I was working on so that I could tear it apart and put it away; I needed the space on the table to wrap gifts. Yes, I need to finish up gifts for my youngest to take up north for the grandson. Guess what didn't get wrapped last night.  By 10PM I didn't feel I had much strength left, which is odd, so I didn't finish that (will do that when I get home after the 'holiday' party).  I did get the 'white elephant' gift wrapped that I am to take for the party. And I went to bed. So. very. tired.

I have training at 7AM this morning so my morning is kind of messed up.  I have to stop at 6AM so that I can get dressed and ready to head out the door at 6:30AM.  So I change up my reading.  And I was so sleepy this morning. I woke at my usual time and came in here hoping to sleep a bit, but could not. I've done some reading, but knowing I need to stop early has me keeping an eye on the clock.  In fact, I want to stop early on everything and jump on the work computer to get an out of office put on it, and also finish up the meeting I was working on when I shut it down last night.  Work never ends, right?

So what's on tap for today?  Training, then get ready for the holiday party at the office (an hour's drive thereabouts), and go there. Probably back home around 2-ish. Finish wrapping for the grandson and his mother and son and then the youngest will be over to pick them up. He will take them up north tomorrow. Oh, and I need to finish working when I get back as well.  I THINK we are home tonight... not sure; at this moment, afraid to look. LOL Need to get ahold of a friend and see if they want to do dinner - I had said we'd see them before Christmas. It's either tonight or Monday night. 

So there you have it. Is it my age that is wearing me down?  Could be, but I think it is more that my eating habits for the past month have gone way downhill.  I've been eating way too much candy, way too much chocolate (it's in a class by itself) and way too many sandwiches and french fries, as well as skipping meals and just not eating right.  I've got to stop some things and increase others.  Not complaining.... I do it to myself.  I need to stop. I need to clear my head by eating right, and regain some type of sanity. Not sure what type, but something other than what has been going on.  Right?

Matthew 6:34 (NKJV):  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Isn't that the truth!  Why worry about what I need to get done tomorrow - it may never come!  So many times I have stressed about getting things done - only to find when the next day arrives, it isn't that important.  I like those days.  In fact, if I was so worried about the meeting I know that is waiting for me to get it done, I would have got on the computer last night to complete it. I did not. But I have about 10 minutes in which I can jump online long enough to get it done. After all, I won't be getting much work done today!

And with that - I am going to jump off here and get that meeting done and off my plate!  Need to get dressed and ready for training.  Come home, get dressed again, and head east. 

One task, one day, at a time. B-r-e-a-t-h-e.  But then, I do enjoy getting away with friends. :-) And I get to see my favorite boss as well as my friends.  They all live on the east side so I don't get to see them often. But today is the today!

Blessings!

He did it again.

 I spoke at one of the RV parks this morning and I tell you what, I didn't think I was going to be able to 'pull it off'.  I had some mental things going on and quite frankly, I was struggling.  I was praying that God would take the message I had prepared and make it work.  I knew I had a time constraint because of having communion as well, and it just felt like the message was way too long (although it wasn't).  I prayed about it (numerous times) and also asked a few at the RV Park to pray for me as well.  The comments afterwards proves to me that God answered my prayer and took what I had and made it good. Grateful to Him for listening to a person like me, and answering my prayer that I don't disappoint Him, but allow Him to speak to others through me.  All the glory is His.  And His alone.

I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee, but I think I'm ready for a nap.  It is Sunday afternoon.  Isn't that what preachers do when they come home from speaking?  LOL  I don't always take a nap, but for some reason today I just feel like I need to.  I need to do some other things too; my indoor garden I need to completely empty and repod and reseed.  Things just aren't growing this time and I think I need to refill, re-vitamin, and repod and reseed.  I will get to it sometime today; just don't think it is going to be anytime soon since I'm feel so tired.  $20 says hubby is already asleep in his chair. (I'm in the back room).

After church we decided to head over to Red Robin for lunch.  It got quite expensive as I ordered a meal (salmon) and hubby ordered the ancho chicken.  And we both ordered drinks. I usually go with water, but diet coke sure did sound good - and I drank two glasses of it! Of course I was pretty thirsty after preaching this morning.  We both should have stuck to salads and gotten out of there for a lot cheaper than we did. Oh well.  I made money today so I just spent part of it at Red Robin.

I think I'm going to go back to a Fitbit for counting my steps.  With changing my phone, I am unable to bring up steps on my apple watch at all and to find what my steps are, I have to go through so many hoops that it annoys me.  I loved my Fitbit when I had it; really should go back to it.  Looks like all the Versa 2's are renewed or refurbished - and if I get, I want a new one.  Looking at the Versa 4.  The one thing I do like about that is it has a six day battery.  My apple watch I have to charge every single day - and that annoys me.   I would rather go to Spade & Company but it doesn't link in to my Personify app that we use for the company.  Before I order anything, I think I will see how much I will have to input manually to the Personify app.  I've written both Virgin Pulse (who owns Personify) and Spade and Company and begged them to contract.  Of course nothing, although asked several months ago.  I've bought myself two Spade watches - and have given both away.  I spent so much money on this apple watch I am reluctant to let it go, but I have never liked it since I got it.  It doesn't give me information that I want to check.  For example, my steps. What to do. What to do.  I will make a decision soon, I think. I like to see how many steps I have on my wrist - and not have to go through a couple apps on the phone to find where it is showing. It's annoying. And you know I don't like to be annoyed, right?

I wonder if my oldest son and his wife picked up a bug while they were out of town a week ago. I've been told they have been extremely sick.  I've offered to pick up food for them but have been turned down.  They know what their bodies can handle so I need to jsut put the offer out there and leave it be. And that's what I'm doing.

I think I's going to just close this off for today. I'm feeling really tired, for some reason - totally unusual for me, really.  Maybe I do need to take a nap and rejuvenate.  Either that or I am just showing my age.  So with that - I'm off here. Hope you have a good day.

Blessings!

It may be a tough day today....

 I woke up around midnight last night and did not get back to sleep until around 3AM, I think it was.  Needless to say, I have been trying all morning (since I got up at 4:30AM) to go back to sleep; keeping one eye on the clock so that I could at least get my reading done and type in here. I have about 15 minutes left before I need to start on the work computer and I want to take a shower yet..... shall see if I postpone the shower until I get signed in and see what's up in messages.

Yesterday was still a slow day with only one boss working.  We chatted a couple times in the morning, but she had a full afternoon with back-to-back meetings so I left her alone.  I started looking for a message to have for the RV Park that I speak at on January 7th.  Need to have title and scripture by this Sunday as I will be contacted for them.  I think I have one but am still processing how I can make it mine.  It's about choices we make with our attitude.  Yeah, a good one for me, huh.  

We ate more leftovers last night for dinner and I am thinking I am going to be throwing away the rest of the pies and cookies.  We have been eating them - which we shouldn't - and they are 5 days old so don't want to give to our neighbors.... need to clear out the refrigerator and get real food in there.  I thought about visiting Ms. Vicky or Ms. Diane last night after dinner... but there is just something about it getting dark so early that it feels like it is so late.  I may try to delay dinner and run to one of their homes right after work.  Or maybe take my 'lunch hour' that I don't take and run over.  It's been almost two weeks since I stopped in to drop off their Christmas gifts of food, but I didn't stay to visit then. 

Hubby got the laundry done yesterday.... I wanted to start taking down the trees but he whined 'leave them up'.  I think it is because he thinks he has to help me - which he doesn't need to for I can do them by myself.  So - I will wait until he goes to his Bible study in the morning (he hasn't left the house this week even to have lunch with his friends - I'm going nuts!!) and start taking things down and see how much I can get put away in between work.  We got a plaque for the wall from an out of state granddaughter - so I found a place to put it - but what we had there (without moving the nail) makes it a few inches too low.  At first hubby argued with me that it was fine.... finally I just walked away and he said if I really wanted it moved up 3 inches, he would do it later.  When we went to bed it was "if you still want it moved up 3 inches I'll do it tomorrow".  Sigh.  Why don't he just let me take the nail out of the wall and move it up where I want it and hammer it in?  Because he wants to feel needed, I know.  But I don't need him for that stuff - he has NEVER wanted to do anything, but has had plenty to say about it all.  And that's why this house is still his house.  I can't move pictures unless it is when he isn't home.  I definitely am not allowed to move the furniture.  Nothing can be changed unless he says it is ok.  So I do it when he's gone.  

We got a wi-fi frameo picture video thing for Christmas.  I asked him for it last night - and he looked confused.  I explained it was to both of us, not to him; he just opened the gift.  Oh, he thought it was his.  So he gave it to me and I attempted to get it set up.  I was having one of my 'silent migraines so was having difficulty reading directions, but figured out part of it and was able to get a few current photos added and sent the code to a few people.  Immediately hubby demands I put photos of BOTH of us in it - meaning it had to be of those of he and I together.  (really?)  I had to search for we don't have many.  He is wanting photos of us taken 10-15-to 40 years ago of us together.  I tried to explain the video was for others to add photos of their families so that we can see them, not so much for our old photos... he is insisting.  I did have a couple taken this year so did add those.  He wants it to be our photos - and I can't get him to understand the purpose of it.  He wears me out.

Matthew 11:28 (NKJV):  "Come to me all you who labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."

Wow, does that scripture hit me this morning!  It's not so much that I 'labor and are heavy-laden', but I am in desperate need of the 'rest' that only Jesus can give.  He doesn't say he will take the labor from us, but that if we give the heaviness that we carry to Him, He will help us with it.

Sometimes that has to do with our attitude.  Think about it.  We can be all grumpy and weary and feel weighted down with just 'stuff', right?  It happens to all of us at times.  Me included.  We feel like we have the weight of the world upon our shoulders.  Many mornings I feel that way, in all honesty.  I just don't know what to do with this life I am living most days.  I'm sure some of you feel that way as well.  But when we pray and ask Jesus to take the heaviness from us, the weariness, He does!  He can change our attitude, the way we look at it, the perspective we have of the situation - and He can give us a lighter heart, a spring in our step, if you will.

I know, for I have experienced His rest many, many times.  Many times throughout the day I will call out 'Lord, help!' when I am struggling with different things - whether attitudes or headaches or sickness or whatever - but when I call out 'Lord, HELP!', I can feel His peace and rest fall upon me.  How do you think most of us get through each and every day?  It's because we call on His name, the name of Jesus, and ask Him to help us in our weakness, in our weariness, to clear our minds, to lift our burdens, and to set us free.  Hallelujah!

Well, my time is flying by since I tried to sleep this morning....but I did get my reading in.  Spent time praying while I was awake last night.... wondered if one of my boys was out and about in the early morning hours.  They are responsible for themselves, but sometimes they need God's help, whether they acknowledge it or not.

Blessings!

I'm in a tizzy this morning...

 I normally do not glance at Facebook this early in the morning, but for some reason I did - and what I saw did not make me happy at all.  Needless to say, I sent a couple text's off this morning and I hope these people wake up soon and see it and do something about it.  It is just eating at me until something is done. So I'm in a 'tizzy'.  Ever get that way?

I also had a sweet text from a granddaughter this morning that the great granddaughter had lost her loose tooth she was showing me on Saturday.  I can't believe how big she is getting!  Granted I don't see her often due to distance so when I do see her, I see major growth.  She's a cutie.

I had placed an order for something to be made for me - and wouldn't you know it - it was screwed up, although I had 'approved' the draft/proof.  But I did write the company and told them what had happened and asked, 'how can we fix this?' - and I got an email this morning that they are re-doing my order.  Now THAT is customer service, and it is making me feel so much better.  I've ordered from this company before without any problems. Glad they are fixing this one.  Not telling what - who knows - you may get it for Christmas. :-)  Or not.

Yesterday was a busy day with having to schedule meetings - and I was exhausted last night.  I didn't get to do 'girls' night out' and then hubby got a call from his friend that he was staying home - so we both were home last night.  I kind of sunk into depression, I think, for I was thinking of just having a quiet evening at home alone.  Well, I told hubby he was taking me out to dinner - and we ended up at Arby's (because I really wasn't hungry, and I was not going to cook).  Came back home, watched the news and I crochet'd. TV off for a short while - then he wanted to watch the basketball game and offered to put on the headset - but I told him it wasn't necessary.  I crochet'd for awhile, but decided to go to bed at 8PM.  I just really wanted to be alone.  But I did fall into a deep sleep and awoke about 5 or so hours later and then couldn't go to sleep.  Laid there and prayed for each of my children, their spouses, and the grand and great-grandchildren by name.  Finally dozed back off around 3AM-ish and then slept until about 4:15AM.  For some reason my watch isn't waking me up - am I really sleeping through it or am I shutting the alarm off?  I really don't HAVE to get up at 4AM, in fact, have been considering making it 5AM, but I know my body will wake up when it wants to anyway.

Today will be a very quiet day for work.  Two people are on vacation today, my favorite boss has an afternoon of doctor appointments, and will tell me to jump off around 2PM (she always does) or earlier, and the one she is blocked out of office as of 3PM.  Don't expect much to do today.  I may work on some of the Christmas gifts I never wrapped yesterday.  I need to put gas in my car and I want to run over to JoAnn's to pick up some yarn for an afghan I started last night.  Only have one skein of this yarn so need about 5-6 more to complete it.  I may just go online and have them ship it to me.  That works too.  It's unreal that tomorrow is Thanksgiving.

Colossians 3:15 (NKJV):  "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which you also were called in one body; and be thankful."

Ironic I found that verse when I'm in a tizzy, huh!  But God can deliver peace, and He can even do it now - if I let Him.  That's what we do, though, isn't it?  We KNOW we can have peace about a situation because God is definitely in control of ALL situations - but when something goes against the grain - we get in a tizzy - and I'm no exception.  I'm still in a tizzy until it gets corrected, and then I'll be in a tizzy for awhile for I know I will hear about it from others.  And I can't defend.  

Looking forward to a couple days off work - actually, we get a four day weekend - too bad they are few and far between!  Christmas and New Years will be only a three day weekend - but I'll take it!  

In the meantime, hope your day keeps you out of tizzys and keeps you at peace. 

Blessings!

Sleeping in... which I really could....

I had difficulty getting to sleep last night and then didn't want to wake up this morning.  I did get up about 4:10AM, but struggled to stay awake.  This was one of those mornings that I let myself fall back to sleep a few times.  I did get a chapter read in my Bible, but it was difficult to keep my eyes open.  I'm finally starting to wake up and it's a good thing - it's almost 6:30AM!  I'm usually starting to finish up everything and get ready to start the day.  But, alas, today is not going to be one of those days, I think.  And although I generally start work at 7AM, it isn't critical I start at that time.  After all, I generally work through my lunch hour so I don't have to monitor my time.  Today will be an interesting day though. I do have things to do, but one boss is out and another I support is gone for 3 weeks, and the other I support is on his last day before he is gone for a week.  Monday - Wednesday next week will be very slow days.  I do have things to do though.  

My mind is blank this morning and I have written a few nonsense things and then erased them.  Could it be that my mind is still asleep?  I am feeling really tired this morning.  I think a lot of my tiredness is just the depression inside of me that is wanting to get away by myself with God and knowing that I can't do that.  Maybe I will talk with hubby about getting away and going to Tucson.... and I'll pay the hotel bill.  I'd take Monday off and go this weekend but I have timecards on Monday so there is that.  And Tuesday I have to go to Mesa so there is that.  Perhaps the weekend he wants to go up to Prescott I can convince him to go to Tucson and I'll take a day or two off work... ok - I'm rambling again.  I'm just wanting to see my granddaughter and great granddaughter.  I know they are also busy and have their own lives and need to work around their schedule.  Maybe some day soon..... and if not, I do have Christmas!  Maybe take a day off to go to Tucson for Christmas shopping?   That's a good excuse, isn't it?

Psalm 39:7 (NKJV):  "And now, Lord, what do I wait for?  My hope is in You."

Waiting isn't always a fun thing to do.  More often than not, we are waiting for something, do you agree?  We wait for meals.  We wait for time to start work.  We wait to go somewhere. We wait.... but what do we do while we wait?

Some may read a book.  Some may walk about the room.  Some fidget.  I think that's why 'fidgets' were created - it's not only for people who get anxious and need something to calm them down, it is for those who don't know what to do with themselves when they have time on their hands.  Where do your thoughts turn when you are waiting?  Do you find yourself getting angry at having to wait?  Do you get frustrated?

How do YOU read this scripture?  I like to think that in my waiting, I know my Hope is in Jesus.  If He chooses me to leave this earth right now, my Hope is in Him, that I will go to be with Him.  Do you have that Hope?

I often look at waiting as I could be doing something more productive.  Actually, when I know I am going to be waiting, I'll take some crochet with me, or a book, so that I can at least keep busy.  I think I told you that I took Atomic Habits with me when I went to get my DEXascan last week (or so), and two people told me they had just finished it!  One read the book, the other listened to it on audible.  I've tried to listen to books on audible but unless I am completely alone and it's quiet, I can't listen well.  Do you have that problem?  On a road trip, perhaps that would be good.  But just sitting and listening, naw, I can't do that.  I find I get distracted or my mind wanders and I miss what is being said.  Besides, when I READ a book, if I don't understand exactly what it is saying, or I get distracted, I can go back and reread what I had just read. 

In fact, hubby, to my delight, left the TV off last night and we read.  I went back a chapter in Atomic Habits so that I could remember where I left off.  Although each chapter is a bit different, it isn't a continuous story or novel, I find it helps me to refresh my mind on what I've read.  I'm hoping to finish it this weekend.  It really is a good book and I'm getting a lot out of it.  I'm hoping to incorporate some of that in to my life tow here I can get things done.

In fact, I was talking to my daughter about it last Tuesday.  I have a lot of costume jewelry that I used to wear when I was in the office.  We will not be going back to the office and the only time I really 'dress up' is for church.  So what am I going to do with all this jewelry?  I'll keep all my good stuff, of course, but what about the other?  When we moved, it got all thrown in to a couple bags and they are still in those bags.  I told my daughter I think I'll take one bag a weekend and sort them out on the table, then send a photo to those that might want some, and let them choose what they want.  The rest I can donate somewhere.  Don't want to give to Goodwill; they sell for a profit.  Savers is good, so is the Salvation Army.  I'll have to think it through.  

Well, I think I've rambled on enough this morning with nothing to say.  Maybe I ought to go to an occasional writing in here... write only when I have something important to say... but because I have started to do it daily, it has become a habit.... whether I have anything to say or not.  

Two minutes until 7AM... guess I need to get to the computer.  Hope that your day is a ....

Blessing!

Soooo glad it's Friday!

 This has been a week, for sure.  The ONLY good thing is that I have received good coffee to drink the past few mornings.  Well, perhaps that isn't entirely the ONLY good thing, but it sure is right there at the top!  We had dinner with friends last night.  Oh my.  This friend loves to dabble in wood projects.  He gave me, so proudly, this piece of wood about 18" x 8" or so, about an inch thick, and attached to it by a metal clamp of sorts is a brown wine bottle.  Empty, of course.  I just looked at it and he said it was to put on the wall and put artifical flowers in.  I've seen these before... but.... where in the world would I put ?  I tried to be gracious, of course, but he saw past it. LOL   After dinner, as we were leaving, he tells me to put it in the garage sale.  He was just wanting to bring me something, but I honestly don't think I have any place that it would 'fit'.  When we got home it went into the garage cabinet.  I can't even think of anyone who would want it!  It's the thought, not the gift, especially in this case, right?  He had made it, but he had also mentioned that he had cleaned out a bunch of his wood projects and gotten rid of them.  I think this was one of them he was getting rid of.  

Our neighbors come home today and I have been looking forward to meeting him and getting acquainted with her.  I really do hope we 'mesh'.  Of course they are another couple who are retired.  But the plus side is, when they want to do things and go places, we can decline because I 'have to work', and not because we don't have money to do so.  But I think they live very frugally, if there is such a word.  For the first time we went in their house yesterday (we have the key) to see if everything was still ok - afterall, they have been gone about 6 months and we had only checked around the house, never going in it).  This house has a really weird layout, but what I noticed the most was how spacious it was without a lot of clutter (as in my house).  Of course it had only been her for a couple months, getting it ready, before she met her hubby in Hawaii.  Maybe they are having furniture shipped from Hawaii.  But it was very spacious.  And their kitchen cabinets were unlike any I had ever seen - beside the oven was floor to ceiling drawers - small drawers - with knobs like you would find in a bedroom.  Never saw that before.  I'd want to take those out and perhaps put a pantry in there.  Or a counter.  I'm sure they will be great neighbors and I'm looking forward to getting to know them.

Today is April 1st - April Fool's Day.  I used to play 'tricks' on my bosses and friends when I was in the office - things like giving them a message from Ted E. Bare and giving them the zoo number, (I know, it sounds lame now, but it was always fun, and the zoo always played along with it).  Then there is their phone, reversing the ends so when they got a call they couldn't answer, or taping it down or taping drawers shut... silly, stupid, yet harmless things.  And it was played on me too.  It was all done in fun and received in fun.  I remember one boss telling me they had been trying all day to get ahold of this Bare person (because I had marked it urgent) and couldn't get through, the line was always busy.  Then I had to confess what it was.  Oh that was so funny.

I went to bed earlier than usual last night and of course was wide awake at 10:30PM.  I tossed and turned until a bit after 11:30PM before falling back to sleep, and then flip flopped most of the night, I think.  Thoughts kept invading my mind such as the new board meeting that I am going to have to take minutes at.  I do not like taking minutes at all, and this board meeting is one that has a lot of outside people in that I don't know.  We will be doing a virtual meeting, which means I won't be able to 'see' these people except on the screen and then try to figure out what is important that they are talking about.  What I have discovered in most meetings I have had to take minutes at is that so many ideas are thrown out and comments made - I don't know what is important enough to capture.  I do not like taking minutes.  At all.  I keep telling myself I can do it, I just need to find out how they want the minutes captured.  I'm a wordy person so I always have to cut back on my words.  I've seen others who just use bullet points for their board meetings.  Well, how do I know what is important when this is the very first board meeting of this group and ... did I mention I do not like to take minutes of any kind?  It is causing me angst and I keep wishing I could retire... but, the first board meeting is May 9... and I've already told my boss that l will be gone the week before on Jailbreak Getaway so will not be able to pull slides and things together.  He told me not to worry about it.  I prefer THEY create the slides and power points - I haven't had to do it in the past so I'm not comfortable with it.  Usually my other boss will send me a slide to 'fix', but she creates it.  I just make it look good.

Ah... here I am, being very wordy, and just rambling once again this morning.  My head is still in the dull ache mode this morning - I am wondering if it is from all the cloudiness that has been going on the past week.  My neck was hurting alot too yesterday.  Maybe I'm just getting old and all my aches and pains are coming to life.  I scheduled a couple massages in the next few weeks, and a facial, perhaps I can get some of these kinks worked out.  It always feels good once the massage is over; many times I fall asleep - and snore, of course.  I worn them ahead of time that could happen. They just laugh and say I'm not the only one who does it, and it just means that they are doing their job to relax me.  But it is still embarrassing.  Especially cause I really snore. 

Yesterday was a day full of creating meetings and some were quite difficult to pull together when it has the upper leadership in and they are 'critical' for the meeting.  So glad I was able to get them all done, but it was stressful.  I'm hoping today will be a lot lighter and not so many critical meetings to pull together.  But then, it also makes a long day.   I need to take breaks and go get on my treadmill or trampoline and get some movement.  I also am supposed to be lifting weights to build up my bones/strength.  I enjoy exercise, don't get me wrong.  It always feels good to do it.  I just don't like being 'watched' and being told how to do things.  Just leave me alone and let me do it myself - even if it is wrong.  If I want your advice, I'll ask for it.  sigh.  grumble.

Perhaps tomorrow I will have something more worthy to write about.  Nothing seems to come to mind this morning.  Wishing you a day full of joy, hope, and memories that last a lifetime.

Blessings!

kind of out of it this morning....

 I don't know if hubby had something on his mind last night or if his shoulder was hurting him worse than usual, but he woke me up several times during the night with his tossing and turning.  I barely dragged myself out of bed this morning - I guess I was never awake enough to tell myself to get up and come to this other bed.  But the constant waking up has left me groggy, with a dull headache from lack of sleep, and tired.  And add in to it today is 'Fosamax Day'!  Which means by evening (although I try to ignore it) I will be exhausted for a couple days.  I get through it ok, it's not a big deal, but I find it helps a lot if I will allow myself 10-20 minutes to take a nap in the afternoon.  I go see the endocrinologist on April 8th - my doctor says I DON'T have to deal with the exhaustion every week for 2-3 days - I am to see if there is something else I can take - Reclast (infusion) or Prolia (shot) that is only every six months and I'd only be worn out a couple days at that time, instead of every week.  It's not that bad, but it would be nice to have energy again.

But then again, I have changed my diet and am eating more healthy so maybe it is also I'm working toxic food out of my system.  Do you know how hard it is not to reach in the bag of pretzels or chips and shove them into my mouth?  Or grab an ice cream bar out of the freezer?  UGH.  Last night we went to dinner at Macaroni Grill - don't waste your time.  On the way there as I was reviewing the menu (I 'sometimes' have difficulty making up my mind - especially when I'm trying to eat healthy) and saw some recent reviews - and all three of them were negative - giving the location we were going to 1 and 2 stars!  Yipes.  But we were meeting hubby's study guys and their spouses so we went.  The waitress was nice and we were seated in the almost empty room at 6PM  - we had reservations but 'wait until we put a couple tables together'.   They bring us water, as we were there first.  Then the other couples arrived and they brought their water.  They brought one loaf of rosemary bread with about a tablespoon of oil  For six people.  They were asked for more oil and we were told "we're out of oil".  HUH?  It's an Italian restaurant.  At 6PM, and they were out of oil for the bread.  Ok then.  We ordered our food.  I ordered tomato basil soup and a side salad.  I was trying to stay away from all the creamy and breaded entrees.  I asked that my salad be brought with my soup.  Well, a few others also asked for side salads and when they brought them - they put one in front of me and of the other two that wanted side salads.  I started to eat the salad, although I had asked they wait (and thought the salad was kind of chintzy) and then we realized they had given me one of the guys' side salad that he was splitting with his wife.  He told me to go ahead and eat it.  And, we told the waitress and she left.  A little bit later they brought our food.  I was impressed they divided up the food for the two couples on separate plates - very nice.  They bring me my soup and she goes "oh- you already got your salad".  I said I had been given one of the others' salad - and they never brought his - so he told them don't worry about it.  Now mind you, the salad he ordered was $3 and unlimited because it was ordered with his entree.  By the way, my soup was also to be 'unlimited', but I was never asked if I wanted any more (I didn't).  Soup was ok, nothing to write home about.  The others said their food was good.  They filled our water once.  Hubby got the bill for ours and he, not really knowing what had transpired with the salad, and we were sitting at the opposite ends of the table because we were wanting to have girls at one end and guys at the other so that we can talk, he didn't let me review it.  He paid it.  I glanced at it on the way home.  Not only did they put the $3 charge for the guys' salad on our bill, they also left on the $4 for my side salad - which no one got.  So they got an extra $4 for our meal - which was nearly $40.  Hubby had gotten a shrimp something or other - and we both drank water.  Yeah, we won't be going back.  Service was tolerable, food was ok, but messing up the order and not fixing it.... you don't mess with people's money.   They even added a $2 'temporary inflation tax' on each bill.  Yeah.  Temporary.  It's so temporary it was also listed on their website that they were doing that. 

I didn't have much to do yesterday with work - had several meetings to schedule, but other than that, it was pretty quiet.  About 3PM I picked up a book and started reading.  Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Schirer.  I really enjoy her books,  This is like a Bible study, only it's a personal Bible study in that you read through it, and she asks questions at the end to think about.  At least at first glance that is what it is.  I'm still in the first chapter.  I tried to read it earlier, but couldn't stay awake.  No, I didn't go back to sleep, but it wasn't for lack of not trying.  I started this book some time ago, but see I never finished it.  I'm starting at the beginning again so hopefully this time I will.  Sometimes I get too many books going and then have to stop and put some aside so that I can not fill all my time with God with busyness, but allow time to be quiet and listen for Him.  One key sentence she has made in this first chapter is that we don't hear from God, because we aren't listening for Him.  I admit, sometimes in my rush to get through everything I want to do in my 'quiet time' ... I don't wait for God to talk to me.  That's probably most days in  total honesty.  I read, I do some study, I type in here, I pray, and I get up and turn on the work computer and start my day.  Sometimes I sleep in the middle of all that.  I want to reorganize my mornings to where I allow time to just sit still and be quiet.  THEN I will be able to hear.

Has God ever spoken to me before?  Yes He has, and I know His voice.  It's not an audible voice, although some times when I've heard it, I'm looking around with a 'who said that?' mentality.   Those times that I've heard God speak to me are - whether in Word alone, or just feeling His Presence near me, are times that I can never forget.  There is nothing like it.  I've let too much of the world in my quiet time and I need to close the books and put back on the shelf, and carve out specific time to just wait.  It doesn't have to be a long time; it could be as short as ten minutes.  But, when I do all the talking, God doesn't have a chance to get a Word in edgewise cause I jump up and get busy.  You ever do that?

Let's make a pact.  As you spend your time getting ready for your day, sit back in your chair, close your eyes to the distractions around you, and spend ten minutes just doing nothing.  Let your thoughts turn to Jesus and, especially during this Lenten season, think of what Jesus has done for you.  Still your mind as you picture Him walking down the road.  Picture Him smiling at you, hugging you, gathering you close.  He is so happy you are thinking of Him.  Sit there and feel His Presence around you.  There is nothing like it.  You will find the 'peace that passeth all understanding' will fall upon you and your day will be completely different than any other.  

Try it.  You'll be glad you did.

Blessings!

I blame it on the vaccine!

 I don't know what is going on, but this week has been exhausting.  Yes, I went to the gym one day, and I've used my weights here in my room, but not enough to make me as tired as I have been feeling.  Yes, my work has picked up - a lot - since I have added a new boss - but even so, it shouldn't make me as tired as I have been this week.  I haven't done enough of anything to be so tired.  What.is.going.on?!   I'm blaming it on the vaccine.  What else could it be? 

The other night I was in bed at 8PM and slept sound.  Oh wait.  I know why I'm so tired this morning.  Hubby didn't sleep well and ws tossing and turning all night - some times it doesn't wake me up, but when he tosses himself in my 2 ft area of the bed, it wakens me.  Ok, maybe it's 2.5 ft of bed I get.  Yes, he uses the rest.  Of a king size bed.    Regardless, we went to bed around 8:30-ish... and I was awake at midnight.  Dozed again, tossed and turned myself some, and finally was unable to go back to sleep from waking at 3AM and got up about 3:20AM or so.  I've tried to doze some in here, and in between readig, I think I have.  I'm feeling just so tired.

But - maybe it is also because it is FRIDAY.  Do the Friday dance!  Woot!  I have several things on my agenda to accomplish today.

Finish minutes from yesterday's meeting.  Find out how in the world did my new doctor's office come up with my old address and home telephone number after I wrote it on two papers for them, AND gave them a typed information sheet with our new address and my cell phone.. and saw it being typed into their records.  (yeah, I haven't figured that out yet - I got a letter yesterday from the doctor's office he was trying to contact me but the phone numbers are out of service.  Well, duh.  The letter was forwarded because they also sent it to the old address.  Where in the world did they get it?) Whatever meetings my bosses send me to create.  I glanced at Outlook on my phone this morning.... since 4PM yesterday I have 23 messages.  Some will be meetings I will need to accept for my bosses, some will be from my bosses for me to create meetings, some will be asking for information. Create new meetings. Check out some meetings that are on one calendar but not on others. Can't wait for 4PM to arriave already.

I just remembered.  I am covering for a co-worker who is leaving today for a week in Hawaii.  She supports about 10 people.  Most will not have anything for me to do, but three or four will.  I think this next week is going to be horrendously busy for me. I'm tired just thinking about it.

I got a good laugh yesterday .... during the meeting I was in to take minutes, our chief medical officer, Dr. Clarke, asked what the drawing I use as my 'photo' meant.  So I told him.  My former boss, whom he worked with as well, drew it for me, taking my name and because it means 'explosion of a star' and 'new' ...  and took my last name which could be a forest .... and make this 11x17 drawing in pastel colors of what could be an exploding star.... only she made the explosion in design of flowers.  It is really very pretty and I have written before that I had it framed.  Still haven't hung it up yet (not sure where to put it - still thinking about it), but soon.  Everyone chuckled and said that perhaps a drawing could be made of his name and for me to ask.  What they didn't know, was that I could.  And I did.  I text'd my old boss and told her what happened, and asked if she ever came up with something for Dr. Clarke's name, I would be happy to come pick it up.  She responded - and I quote:

"If Dr Clarke had as remarkable a name as Nova, maybe I could think of something...But he doesn't! LOL"    

And I couldn't wait to send Dr. Clarke this note:  "Dr. Clarke, I am so sorry, but this is the message I received from Mary (my boss): "If Dr. Clarke had as remarkable a name as Nova, maybe I could think of something...But he doesn't.  LOL"   Dr. Clarke, I'm so sorry that I am more special than you are. :-)  And of course he responded with an "LOL".  Glad I have a friendly relationship with him where I can get by with that!

Job 8:21 (CEV)  "And so, he will make you happy and give you something to smile about."

Find something to smile about today.  It's going to be a good day.

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.  Make it a point to be happy today - bring a smile to someone's face.  You will find you are smiling too.

Blessings!

Sunday.....can I just withdraw from life?

 I'm tired this morning.  Physically, mentally, emotionally... so very tired.  I really would like to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head and just hide.  But, I cannot, nor will I.  Life is meant to be lived, not buried under the covers.  I intend to live life so in order to do that, I must pull myself together and just do it!

We had talked of physically going to a church this morning, but I just can't today.  In fact, when hubby brought in my coffee to me this morning and I asked if we could stay home and watch on TV another church, his comment back to me was that when he awoke he felt that we should stay home and watch this other church we were going to attend in person today - online.  We may watch both....  one because the Bible study he goes to on Wednesday morning, several of the men go there and they discuss the message before the study and hubby always feels left out.  This way he can be a part of the conversation.  The other service because our friends are encouraging us to attend (and that is where we had planned to go today).  We still haven't found a 'church home'.  I think I'm missing that.

The devotional I read today really spoke to me.  It's from the devotional 'I Hear His Whisper'.  I love this little devotional for it has a way of speaking to me.  Read this...

Beloved, the enemy has held you in bondage long enough. You have been through fire, but now is the time for refreshing rain. Though at times you barely held on to hope, you sought me with all that you had. I saw it all.  And behind the scenes, I was working on your behalf, though you couldn't see it. What felt like loss will turn into victory.

The prison doors are flinging wide. Follow me out. Don't allow the past to define you. Throw off those grave clothes and wrap yourself in garments of glorious praise. Don't hold on to unforgiveness.  Surrender your right to hold a grudge. I will rewrite your history and give you a new story - a story of provision, a story of joy, a story of healing. The enemy has tried to insert false chapters of delay and hopelessness into your story, but he has been stopped. As you look to me with expectation and see the breakthrough with eyes of faith, I will come.  I will lead the way out of this season and into the one I have promised you.'

Sometimes we allow the enemy to wear us down with slights, grudges, busyness, hurt feelings, so many little twinges of feelings.  I know I am guilty of allowing myself to get beaten up with life.  I think that is what I am going through right now.  And it has made me extremely weary.  My tears have been withheld, and yet, I know that each tear that falls, is noticed by my God.

So where are you at this morning?  Are you living your life to the fullest and are on top of the mountain?  Or are you like me this morning, feeling weary and down in the valley?   Wherever you are, look up.  We are not forsaken.  We are not alone.  

There is a song, and some of you may remember it:   I sing because I'm happy.  I sing because I'm free.  His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Singing may be hard right now, but try it.  Sing a song that brings joy to your heart.  If you can't think of one, sing:  

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.  Little ones to Him belong, they are weak, but He is strong.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  Yes, Jesus loves me.  The Bible tells me so.

Yes.  The answer is Yes.  He watches over the sparrows, and He loves us.  He loves us with an uncomprehensible love.  There is nothing we can do to ever escape His love for you and for me.  He waits for us with open arms, always, just waiting for us to turn to Him.

I'm thinking of crawling up in His lap for a little while and having a chat with Him about my life.  What about you?  His arms are open for you too.  And His lap is perfect.

Blessings.