A wrong fuse? Really?

 Well, my car.... it did start yesterday after a 2-3 second pause - and I drove it down to AAA Repair and left it for them to figure out what was wrong with my air conditioner.  The call I got a couple hours later ironically asked if I had had someone else work on my car for the air conditioner.  No, I have not.  No one has worked on the air conditioner that I'm aware of.  Anyway... they say they found the wrong fuse in place. I find that weird... the a/c worked fine until the battery went out.  One expects the battery to quit out here in our heat.  But I just have my doubts about some things.  But - what do I know.  They ran diagnostics on my car twice before they discovered the wrong fuse in place.  Now what I was told was that whoever put the fuse in - and it had to been at Peoria Ford when they did some of their 'stuff'.... well, the wrong fuse just couldn't put out the power needed for the a/c to work. I don't know. I'm not knowledgeable in that area nor do I pretend to be.  I just want the a/c working. And it does.  And, although the battery is charged up and working... I have a couple weird things going on still.... After I turn the car on, I get a message that says turn my car on or turn it off to conserve the battery.  I'm wondering if part of my problem isn't in the ignition - is it not connecting the right way?  Also, I have a button that gives me total mileage gone, how many mpg, and a couple other summaries.... and when I push the button again, it shows my speed.  Well, when I start the car, the summary comes up, then I change to speed so I can see how fast I'm going, and I can glance down, and it has kicked back to the summary.  I don't know what is going on with my car, but I'm getting irritated with it.  I know the cabin filter needs to be changed so instead of waiting until they got one in and put it in (about 45 minutes), I paid for it and will be dropping by some early afternoon later this week and they will put it in for me.  I needed my car and couldn't wait any longer to get it back yesterday.

Why did I need my car? I picked it up about 12:45p and I had a 1:30p training with Morgan.  If my car wasn't ready, I'd had to go with hubby at 12:30p as his appointment was at 1p.  Didn't want to walk the treadmill for 30 minutes while waiting on my time.  Got my car back and I was happy.  And... I did HIIT again yesterday.  Whew, she kicked my butt.  I told Morgan that I had been sick on Sunday, weak, etc.  Didn't matter. So I lifted and swung kettle bells, I did improvised burpies, I flipped the heavy ropes and squatted and lifted a 15 lb ball - and I flipped 6 down and 6 back - twice - a 178 pound tire.  Yeah, my body is feeling a little sore in places this morning.  I do enjoy the HIIT workouts, but they are tough!  Only got through two sets this time; usually I get through three - or almost through three.  I stopped more often to catch my breath and oh my goodness - I don't sweat - I glisten (as a rule) - but this time I had sweat running off of me!!  Getting the toxins out, I guess!    I have an 11:30a training with Morgan this morning and I am thinking it might be upper body - probably biceps and triceps - and although tough, it won't cause me to sweat like I did yesterday!  Gotta hit the shower this morning; should have taken one last night.

Hubby took me out to dinner last night - he was hungering for a good steak - and obviously got one at Mercer's - a 15 oz steak, I think it was.  And he ate every bit of it.  I got the salmon and had ordered a baked potato and she brought mashed potatoes and gravy - so since she made a mistake, she brought me a baked potato to bring home to eat with the rest of my salmon (that I couldn't finish).  I tell you what was good, though - I got the chicken tortilla soup as a side dish - and they brought a big bowl of it - it was the best chicken tortilla soup I have ever tasted.  I will be content to order a side of chicken tortilla soup and a small salad whenever I go back!  So very good!  I need to find a recipe and work on it and make it my own.  Just enough spice (not hot spice) to give it flavor.  So good.

I have come to love Forrest Frank's songs.  I spent way too much time last night on Facebook (yep, got caught up in it) watching people singing his songs (I follow him on FB) and they are just catchy tunes.  Check his songs out. There is one - don't know the name of it but people have started a 'dance' singing this song. It's funny and I really do enjoy it. I find myself singing to myself 'it's going to be okay'!

I made it through the board meeting prep yesterday.  I had finance, legal, compliance, the chairperson, and me online.  And you know what - I took control and we got through the meeting in 20 minutes or less.  As people were chatting, I interrupted and said "Ok Chad - finance - what are you going to present - and typed his response in the agenda. Followed up with Compliance and checked with Legal on some things, checked with the chair on some others - and then I said "We have the information for the July 30 meeting, thank you very much. Please put your slides in the PowerPoint deck before Monday so that I can send it out by end of day Monday."  They said thank you and we hung up.  WHEW.  I have another board prep soon - I need to get that PowerPoint deck put together and in the Teams folder so we can move on that meeting as well.  Legal did mention that they are doing organizational changes still and some of the board members will be changed.  The way he said it made me think that perhaps they will combine some of the four boards that I am aware of (I support three of them currently) can be blended together. Or disbanded. I don't know.  Brett brough two of the ones I do in place.... maybe they aren't needed?  Will see.... stay tuned on this one.  But I was and am thanking God that He gave me the confidence to step in and take the meeting over so that we could get it done.

My daughter called me yesterday on my way to the gym... six Air Force officers were selected to go to the war.... and my grandson was selected.  As I inhaled, she paused, then continued... a close friend of my grandson stepped up and told him that he was going to go in his place... because our grandson is married and has a family... and he was single.  His name is Blake.  Please pray for Blake that he will be protected and return back home safely.  They are leaving immediately.

John 10:15 (NIV):  just as the Father knows me and I know the Father - I lay down my life for the sheep. 

Yes, as I heard that Blake stepped up and told our grandson that he would take his place, I was reminded of how Jesus stepped up and took our place.  A sacrifice.  Blake doesn't know what the future will be like over there.... he is being sent to replace those that were recently killed.  That alone would bring fear. But Blake knows Jesus, and he is going in confidence that Jesus will be with him as he goes to fight this war.  I can't get over the sacrifice this young man is willing to do for our grandson.  I am praying for Blake and all our men and women fighting in this war.  I ask you to do that as well. Please pray for Blake, and for the others.

Have any of us here every gave up ourselves for someone else? Sometimes it is easy to give up some things for our kids, but just for a friend?  Could you give up yourself?  Yet, we are called to die to ourselves and serve others. Lay down our lives that they may be taken up.  Serve others as Jesus did. Love others as Jesus did. Some of us are the tough ones to love, I get that.  But Jesus died for them, just as He died for you and for me.   

Deep thoughts this morning, right?  But reality. Jesus gave His life so we could live. What are we doing with our life that He chose to save?

No matter where we are in our walk with Jesus, no matter what we are going through, it's going to be okay.  Jesus wins.  I read the end of the book.

To Jesus be the glory, both now and forever. Holy is His name. 

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

Well, I did it...

 I took Ms. Vicky out to dinner last night.  I kept encouraging her to order whatever she wanted, and I'm sure that she couldn't see most of the menu as she has really bad vision, so she ordered what I did. I don't normally order this, but at Black Bear Diner it is pretty good - so I ordered it.  Chicken Fried Steak with white gravy on it.   She ordered what I did.  Won't order it again there.  It had no taste whatsoever.  I ordered french fries; she ordered mashed potatoes and gravy. We both got the green beans (which were really mushy and I couldn't eat).  I thought I ate fast.... but she beat me!!  LOL  Just an observation. I wish I had gotten something else though, but that is how we learn whether we like a specific item at a specific place.  What is it that food isn't seasoned anymore and has no taste?  It used to be that you didn't have to add salt and pepper cause it tasted perfect.  (The only perfect food I'm discovering is French Fries).  Now you look for red pepper flakes or anything else just to give it flavor.  Not complaining, just stating a fact.  And it must have just been my taste buds for Ms. Vicky raved about it and ate it all.  It got kind of embarrassing after awhile; she kept thanking me for bringing her out - how much she enjoys going out, how she hopes that we do this again, etc.  Full of compliments and praises, I was uncomfortable.  

But I get it.  She basically lives alone. She does have a roommate who stays in her room and doesn't talk to her.  If Ms. Vicky just inquires after she goes on a trip 'How was your trip?' she gets "You aren't my mother and I don't have to answer you!"  So Ms. Vicky has quit asking.  But she pays the rent on time and that helps Ms. Vicky. And I get it - Ms. Vicky gets lonely, especially with her eyesight being so bad - not sure if it is macular degeneration or what - but she has to get shots in her eyes - and that would do me in!

Today is going to be a crazy day.  I have training with Morgan at 9a, then will have to take off work at 1p to take hubby to his doctor's appointment. This is to get the results of his physical and blood work.  We've already looked at his blood work, and although there are a couple in the red, we know why, and so are not alarmed.  But, I will 'lose' about 3 hours of work with having to go with him.  It does keep me 'in the know' though of what is going on. Plus I can throw bits and pieces in when Dr. Mark asks him questions. I have noticed that it isn't only his mind that seems to wane occasionally, it is also his vision.  Yet, he wears his glasses and our eye specialist says his eyes are fine - so to me, that reflects back to the brain on what does his eyes see and tells the brain.  How can one fix that? Not going to give examples, but I have noticed things.  Sigh.  I'm sorry he is getting older... but he has to let go of his pride.  And I will when my time comes as well.

I just added my latest book to Goodreads and see that I'm 2 books ahead of my goal for this time.  That's the way it usually runs for awhile, and then I get way behind because I don't take time to read.  But I did grab an old devotional I've gone through a couple times already to read in the mornings.  Plus, glancing at Amazon, I see there is another one so have already ordered it and it will be here in a week. No rush on it. I like reading things that are short and keep me focused in the mornings.... plus sometimes it will give me something to share in here.

Reminds me, when I worked at Centene, I had to send out a report every single morning to about 150 or so employees.  I thought it was 'boring' to just send the report out with nothing but 'good morning', so I grabbed a John Maxwell leadership book, of which I was reading at that time, and I would start sharing information from each chapter.  It got to where people would comment how much that helped them in their daily work.  Yes, I had 'that one' who would jump on me every time I would mention 'God' - which I was very careful to work around it - after all, it was a business and we aren't to mix business and religion.... and he and I would go at it for awhile.  When Sue was let go (because Centene lost the state contract that year) as the job went with the contract, (Banner immediately called her the same day and offered her the position with more $!  She took it...then I followed).  Sorry, got off track.  Anyway - I had a new boss once Sue was let go - and she immediately STOPPED my little notes in with each daily email.  On my last one, I told everyone that I was told I could no longer send anything out, but if they wanted something, to let me know and I'd send separately (and some did).  Sometimes it is good to start the day with a good read that will encourage you, give you information that is useful, and give you something to think about.

My Bible does that too.  I haven't always read a devotional in the morning, but have for the past few years. I don't know why I started.  But I always get good stuff, even if it doesn't pertain to what I need to hear for that day.  Might be something to think about.  I have my favorite devotionals and Secrets of the Secret Place by Bob Sorge has been my favorite since 2001 - my sister gave it to me as a gift.  And it isn't really a devotional!  But I read a chapter a day - and figure I read it at least twice a year - and it is 2026... yeah, I've read it a few times.  And I still give it as gifts and actually, I'm on my second book and have started marking it up.  I have two-three copies in the bookcase for when I can give as a gift.  I should have started years ago writing down who I gave what books to - I've given so many books to friends and family, I don't remember what I've given!  Or to whom!!  I wouldn't be offended if someone tells me "you have already given me this one" for I'm sure I have another to give them!

Exodus 16:21  The gathered it morning by morning, every man as much as he should eat; but when the sun grew hot, it would melt.

Do you remember that story in the Bible?  What did they gather?  The manna that God provided for the Israelites each morning while they were on their journey to the Promised Land.  And, if you think about it like this, the manna is like us with our Bible reading.  How so?

We dive into our Bibles first thing in the mornings and gather it to our hearts and minds as we study and read and let it soak in.  But then, the day is dawning and the sun comes out. (well, for most of us)  Worries, stresses, some so overwhelming they cause us to melt in our tracks; the strength and resolve of our hearts weaken and we forget all that we read that morning.

The Israelites emerged from their tents each morning to gather the manna, enough for that day only (except on the one day God told them to gather enough for two days, because of the Sabbath).  They knew that once the sun came up, all the manna would disappear and they would be left with nothing for the day.  They knew after one time of 'sleeping in' that they wouldn't have food once the sun was up!  That was God's provision for them, for that day.

Are we any different?  We pick up our devotional, pick up our Bible, hoping to glean something from our reading to feed us throughout the day.  And when we do, our day seems to be going much better, cause we are putting God first, and spending time with Him. That doesn't mean you can't sit and read His Word at night, or whenever it is that you do read your Bibles.  My sister and I go back and forth on this at times.  I get up early to have a couple hours with God in the mornings.  It is my choice.  She chooses to read her Bible in the evening, before she goes to bed.  Well, I don't normally read in bed, and I'm afraid I'd get too comfortable and snuggle down and fall asleep, as she says she does occasionally.  We are opposites in this; I need God to get me through the day.  She reads at night to reflect as she sleeps and starts her day later (later than me, for sure!).  Either way is good; as long as we put God in our lives.  Right?

Uh OH - out of time already - and I'm starting to get to the rambling part... need to get off here and start my day - training @ 9a!!  Hope you have an amazing day and feel blessed to be alive!

Blessings!

The HumilityTour

 What in the world is that, you wonder?  I have no idea, but the idea kind of scares me, wouldn't it you?  I don't know where that came from in my dream... I'm going to think I had a few dreams last night, for the dream that I woke up with remembering, isn't one of humility.  It wasn't a nice dream and I am trying hard to remove it from my mind and not think about so, so that I don't remember it.  It was abusive and stupid. I have no idea where it came from.  But the words The Humility Tour came at the beginning of that bad dream.  So did I dream before of something - or are the words telling me something is coming that will cause me great humiliation?  Is the thought even for me?  I don't know.  It was just all so weird.

Enjoyed a good dinner with my youngest and his wife last night.  Bubba's 33 - we hadn't eaten there before and I had to go look at the menu before we went so that I'd have an idea of what I'd get.  I still didn't.  It all looked so good!   I ended up with a 5 oz salmon over rice and a side salad.  I kid you not - that side salad was pretty big and I wasn't hungry at all after I ate it (I got it first) but did manage to eat the salmon - then had to just quick stop quit.  My stomach would not take any more in.  And they had diet coke.  I just can't drink pepsi.  I was a happy camper.

Hubby and my son both got the signature ribeye - I understand it is soaked in expresso which gives it a really good flavor - I took a bite of hubby's - and wow - it was good.  I could not believe hubby ate all his (it was huge - nearly filled the entire plate!) plus mashed potatoes, gravy, and coleslaw.   My son could only eat about 1/2 of his steak, and his wife got a double hamburger with lots of toppings and onion rings. She didn't eat but a few bites.  I ate one of her onion rings and it was so good - not greasy like some are.  The hamburger was huge - I couldn't have eaten it all either.  Price-wise - it wasn't bad at all.  I would say it was like many others.   The steaks they chose were $25.99; my salmon was $15.99... I don't remember the hamburger cost but similar to mine, I think.  All in all, a great meal and we had a good time.  I would go there again, although it was noisy even at 4:30PM because spring training had just let out and it is across the street from the restaurant so many people went over.  It was pretty full.

My eye is still doing well and I can't wait to get the left eye done.  I still have a small bruise under my right eye, which is from the shots, I'm going to guess - or perhaps they had to clamp my eye open?  I don't know and don't need to know!  I'm grateful I was totally out as far as I was concerned to the entire surgery.  So grateful for that.  I've heard of people who just had the eye numbed and they "watched" all that happened.  No thank you. 

It sounds like it is raining outside.  Too dark to peek outside.  I thought it was to start tonight.  Maybe I hear the sprinklers?   Hmm. now it doesn't sound like it.  Am I hearing things?  I kid you not, this past week I have heard things that I hadn't before ... noises from the duplex net door.  I had hubby go with me one day last week and we went through the entire section to see if anything was amiss - it was not.  This morning I again thought I heard like water running (again)... I may get hubby to go over with me again when he gets back from bible study.  I only hear it when I get up in the mornings at 4AM and am in my bathroom.  That is what is so weird.  I come in here and hear nothing from the other side. 

Which reminds me, I am to go pick up Ms. Amy this Saturday and bring her to her house for awhile.  Not sure what is going on across the street with Ms. Diane.  When we came back from dinner, all three of her children were there... on a Monday night... which makes me nervous.  I will call her today to see if she is ok.  Were they talking to her about going to an assisted living?  She has agreed to go, for I have talked to her about it numerous times as well.  She really can no longer take care of herself and she has literally quit eating except for when someone brings her something  - and she is a diabetic.  She has lost so much weight she looks like a skeleton, even with her clothes on.  I hope she is ok.  I've come to love these women, and Ms. Vicky next door too.  I need to call and check on her as well.   I call them all my 'community project'. LOL

Our cleaning people are coming this morning and of course we straighten things up before they get here. I empty my waste baskets and pick things up off the floor.  Oh wait - I can't do that yet! LOL Hubby will just have to come in here and do it ... or I can get down on my knees and move things.... and then hope I can get back up!  Actually, this room and my bathroom aren't that bad.  And I get all my yarn projects together in the front room. I'm actually real excited in that over the past two-three days I have finished 3 baby blankets and a two-three dishcloths!  I usually have a half-dozen or so projects going on at one time.  Ugh - just remembered I really should straighten up that desk in the exercise room - it has become the catch-all for a lot of things.  

Anyway- my projects - I start one thing and then need to start another... until I have several going.  I decided I needed to finish up some... and have done so.  I still have about 5 projects I can see in here .. I'll get to them eventually.  Sometimes I just need to work on another color!

Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NKJV):  "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit."

I love reading the biographies and the stories of men and women who believed in God and trusted in Him alone.  They inspire me, and give me strength for the journey ahead of me.  I know my life past has been full of ups and downs, and I'm sure my future paths will be as well.  But I want them to be strengthened as a tree planted by the waters, because I trust in the Lord.

Why do I trust in Him?  Because He has proven to be all that I need.  When I have fallen flat on my face, He is the One who picks me up and sets my feet on solid ground.  When our finances and been so bad I didn't know what to do, when I cried out to Him, He has always provided just what we needed to get us through that rough patch.  When I needed a friend, He provided those.  When I needed an outlet to share my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions... like I do right here.... he used my son to set this blog up for me.  See, you didn't really think about that, did you?

I have always loved to write.  I wish I could pull thoughts together to do what I love to do... maybe if I ever retire before I die I will sit before my computer and ask God to give me words to write.  I didn't know it when my son offered to set this up for me, how valuable it will become to me to write my thoughts out..  Oh I still use journals, but not like I did before. I use my journals now mostly for prayers versus all my thoughts and feelings.  But this blog has served - and does still serve - its purpose of allowing me to ramble, to share my heart, to share God's Word and what it means to me.  Thank you, son, for setting it up for me.  It has been a 'life-saver' of sorts.  And, you have a true 'journal' of my life, don't you?  My ups and downs, my angst, my hopes, my dreams.

But out of all of it, I want to show that Jesus is my All in All.  I can not do life without Him.  I tried and I made a big mess of it.  Only when I asked Him to be my Lord and Savior could I survive the mess I had made of my life.  I am a better person because of who He is.  I love Jesus with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.  He leads me through still waters.  He restores my soul.  I trust Him with my very life, the journey I am on, the prayers I pray.  He is the only answer.

Blessings!

The pain is real...

 Yesterday was a very productive day as far as getting things completed at my sister's apartment.  We threw things away; we bagged/boxed up for Goodwill (and took two loads over with a third load ready to go first thing this morning), and we are finally seeing where we have made difference.  Relationships between faimly members - including me - are getting strained at times.  I'm choosing to try NOT to react, but just do what I'm asked to do.  It's frustrating because I don't have all the information about what is going on and I'm being told eo do some 'reach out'.  And I'm busy trying to get things completed and packed.

Situations between family can get really stretched during this time, I'm finding out.  I didn't expect it for sure, thought we'd pretty much band together.  Perhaps part of it is Father's Day weekend.  I wish we had waited a week to come out.  Talk about making us feel like we are in the way.  At least my sister isn't commenting about doing something for her hubby (which she doesn't usually, she said) and we aren't included. Some plans I had made in my mind kind of fell by the wayside.  Oh well.  

Family feuds are horrible and at times like this should just be laid aside.  But stubbornness is prevalent in my family and so it is.  It's painful for the rest of us.  I keep receiving comments from one sibling about running everything by another one... and I haven't seen nor talked to the other one!  No I'm not running everything by them - like I said, it's frustrating and painful.  I'm wishing I was home.

Speaking of pain... my neck started hurting a few days before I left.  I had been putting arthritic cream on it and it had helped.  Sitting up all night on the plane, and my head bobbing, trying to sleep, did not help at all and I have been in near constant pain since Wednesday.  Today is Saturday.  I bought 'Icy Hot' yesterday and used the patches as well as the cream, trying to get relief.  I'm thinking I may have a pinched nerve - my twingles of pain at times will send chills all over my body.  

I woke up 'early' this morning - still not sure exactly what time it is.  My iphone converted to the time here, but my fitbit did not.  But how could it be so early?  So confused!  I finally got up and put some more icy hot on my neck.  Plugged in my fitbit (it was still showing 11PM something.)... my iphone was saying 2AM something... I thought we went to bed late... had my fitbit given me the wrong time?  But we are 3 hours behind.... I have no idea what time it is - but looking at my computer right now it shows 12:34Am... which means it must be 3:34AM here.  I've been 'up' for over an hour, trying to get relief for my neck.  At the moment I am sitting on the floor with my back up against the wall in my room, typing this.  Praying for relief.  Oh, and I have a cold wash cloth against my neck.  It doesn't seem to be bringing much relief.  May try to see if I can get in for a massage... something to release the tension I have built up in my back and neck due to the pain.

Little brother wants the entire family get together at a restaurant and I suggested Monday evening as Father's Day will make things crowded as well as some people having plans. He has hopes his daughter will visit him on Father's Day so it is off limits anyway.  Our older brother also has plans for today and tomorrow with father-in-law and his own son/himself 'celebration' of father's day.   As he kept naming people that needed to be invited, he mentioned our older berother and his family - who they have not talked to since 2004.  And I'm being put in the middle.  He also mentioned a granddaughter of our sister... and I commented that this granddaughter hated our sister, and had nothing to do with her - and refused to even let her see the great-grandchildren.  That's when my brother went off on me... and he broke down and started crying.  From regret of things said in the past?  Pained because of our family situation which even the death of our sister will not change?  I chose not to take sides then - and I choose not to take sides now.  Sometimes we have to just leave things alone; make the offer, but leave it alone.  It has been so hard to be here.  I don't have any regrets with my big sister; I called her, I sent her gifts; I kept in touch.  Because others didn't and they perhaps feel guilty... well, it is painful.  It is always easier to point fingers than look within oneself and accept responsibility.

Sounds like my brother in law is sleeping in his recliner as I hear snoring coming from the front room.  He often does sleep there as his cancer gives him so much pain he can't get comfortable in bed.  He has lost so much weight that I'm reminded of one of my grandsons waistline... well, perhaps not quite that small.  Perhaps 30 inches.

My  daughter has been such a great help in getting things done.  Being on 'midwest' time has proven difficult for both of us.  We want to get an early start, but arriving late morning to start does frustrate some.  We went fro breakfast yesterday morning - then to pick up boxes and trash bags before heading to the apartment.  Took awhiel to get all that done.  Had to get chocoalte too - just to get through the day!!  I bought cereal for us to have this morning, hoping to get an earlier start. The way my neck is hurting though, I may have to try for a massage - but I can't see getting in today - and if they are as busy as they are at home - it could not even happen here.  

It is 4AM .. still pitch black outside.  Why am I awake?!  Oh that my neck will stop hurting so I can rest.  I must try to sleep at least an hour;  I have been going at too fast a pace not to rest - had over 11K in 'steps' yesterday.  And we still have lots to get done.  I need to work on the service as well; hoping to take a few hours on Sunday to pull it together.  Still do not have a date.  The nephew is due to get out of the hospital... what are we supposed to do when he shows up?  He knows he can't stay there... it puts us in a bad position.  It breaks my heart; he lost his mother, his petrs have been removed (which he can get back at a later date), but to be homeless too.  Life is so very hard sometimes.

And with that, I am going to hush and try to rest.  Praying constantly for review of this pain.  Would appreciate your prayers as well.  Pray too that I will be wise in dealing with family and not let my own emotions play into things.  Help me to be loving and kind regardless of how they are to me.

Forgive my mistakes as I type; 

kind of out of it this morning....

 I don't know if hubby had something on his mind last night or if his shoulder was hurting him worse than usual, but he woke me up several times during the night with his tossing and turning.  I barely dragged myself out of bed this morning - I guess I was never awake enough to tell myself to get up and come to this other bed.  But the constant waking up has left me groggy, with a dull headache from lack of sleep, and tired.  And add in to it today is 'Fosamax Day'!  Which means by evening (although I try to ignore it) I will be exhausted for a couple days.  I get through it ok, it's not a big deal, but I find it helps a lot if I will allow myself 10-20 minutes to take a nap in the afternoon.  I go see the endocrinologist on April 8th - my doctor says I DON'T have to deal with the exhaustion every week for 2-3 days - I am to see if there is something else I can take - Reclast (infusion) or Prolia (shot) that is only every six months and I'd only be worn out a couple days at that time, instead of every week.  It's not that bad, but it would be nice to have energy again.

But then again, I have changed my diet and am eating more healthy so maybe it is also I'm working toxic food out of my system.  Do you know how hard it is not to reach in the bag of pretzels or chips and shove them into my mouth?  Or grab an ice cream bar out of the freezer?  UGH.  Last night we went to dinner at Macaroni Grill - don't waste your time.  On the way there as I was reviewing the menu (I 'sometimes' have difficulty making up my mind - especially when I'm trying to eat healthy) and saw some recent reviews - and all three of them were negative - giving the location we were going to 1 and 2 stars!  Yipes.  But we were meeting hubby's study guys and their spouses so we went.  The waitress was nice and we were seated in the almost empty room at 6PM  - we had reservations but 'wait until we put a couple tables together'.   They bring us water, as we were there first.  Then the other couples arrived and they brought their water.  They brought one loaf of rosemary bread with about a tablespoon of oil  For six people.  They were asked for more oil and we were told "we're out of oil".  HUH?  It's an Italian restaurant.  At 6PM, and they were out of oil for the bread.  Ok then.  We ordered our food.  I ordered tomato basil soup and a side salad.  I was trying to stay away from all the creamy and breaded entrees.  I asked that my salad be brought with my soup.  Well, a few others also asked for side salads and when they brought them - they put one in front of me and of the other two that wanted side salads.  I started to eat the salad, although I had asked they wait (and thought the salad was kind of chintzy) and then we realized they had given me one of the guys' side salad that he was splitting with his wife.  He told me to go ahead and eat it.  And, we told the waitress and she left.  A little bit later they brought our food.  I was impressed they divided up the food for the two couples on separate plates - very nice.  They bring me my soup and she goes "oh- you already got your salad".  I said I had been given one of the others' salad - and they never brought his - so he told them don't worry about it.  Now mind you, the salad he ordered was $3 and unlimited because it was ordered with his entree.  By the way, my soup was also to be 'unlimited', but I was never asked if I wanted any more (I didn't).  Soup was ok, nothing to write home about.  The others said their food was good.  They filled our water once.  Hubby got the bill for ours and he, not really knowing what had transpired with the salad, and we were sitting at the opposite ends of the table because we were wanting to have girls at one end and guys at the other so that we can talk, he didn't let me review it.  He paid it.  I glanced at it on the way home.  Not only did they put the $3 charge for the guys' salad on our bill, they also left on the $4 for my side salad - which no one got.  So they got an extra $4 for our meal - which was nearly $40.  Hubby had gotten a shrimp something or other - and we both drank water.  Yeah, we won't be going back.  Service was tolerable, food was ok, but messing up the order and not fixing it.... you don't mess with people's money.   They even added a $2 'temporary inflation tax' on each bill.  Yeah.  Temporary.  It's so temporary it was also listed on their website that they were doing that. 

I didn't have much to do yesterday with work - had several meetings to schedule, but other than that, it was pretty quiet.  About 3PM I picked up a book and started reading.  Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Schirer.  I really enjoy her books,  This is like a Bible study, only it's a personal Bible study in that you read through it, and she asks questions at the end to think about.  At least at first glance that is what it is.  I'm still in the first chapter.  I tried to read it earlier, but couldn't stay awake.  No, I didn't go back to sleep, but it wasn't for lack of not trying.  I started this book some time ago, but see I never finished it.  I'm starting at the beginning again so hopefully this time I will.  Sometimes I get too many books going and then have to stop and put some aside so that I can not fill all my time with God with busyness, but allow time to be quiet and listen for Him.  One key sentence she has made in this first chapter is that we don't hear from God, because we aren't listening for Him.  I admit, sometimes in my rush to get through everything I want to do in my 'quiet time' ... I don't wait for God to talk to me.  That's probably most days in  total honesty.  I read, I do some study, I type in here, I pray, and I get up and turn on the work computer and start my day.  Sometimes I sleep in the middle of all that.  I want to reorganize my mornings to where I allow time to just sit still and be quiet.  THEN I will be able to hear.

Has God ever spoken to me before?  Yes He has, and I know His voice.  It's not an audible voice, although some times when I've heard it, I'm looking around with a 'who said that?' mentality.   Those times that I've heard God speak to me are - whether in Word alone, or just feeling His Presence near me, are times that I can never forget.  There is nothing like it.  I've let too much of the world in my quiet time and I need to close the books and put back on the shelf, and carve out specific time to just wait.  It doesn't have to be a long time; it could be as short as ten minutes.  But, when I do all the talking, God doesn't have a chance to get a Word in edgewise cause I jump up and get busy.  You ever do that?

Let's make a pact.  As you spend your time getting ready for your day, sit back in your chair, close your eyes to the distractions around you, and spend ten minutes just doing nothing.  Let your thoughts turn to Jesus and, especially during this Lenten season, think of what Jesus has done for you.  Still your mind as you picture Him walking down the road.  Picture Him smiling at you, hugging you, gathering you close.  He is so happy you are thinking of Him.  Sit there and feel His Presence around you.  There is nothing like it.  You will find the 'peace that passeth all understanding' will fall upon you and your day will be completely different than any other.  

Try it.  You'll be glad you did.

Blessings!