I got them done!

 I finished filling each of the eggs with candy about 4:15PM. Yes, I worked on them all day long - minus about an hour that I took to go buy more candy (and bought too much) and picked up Jack in the Box for lunch.  I text'd Pastor John and asked if I could drop them off - long story short - I took the eggs over to the church (which is about 6 minutes away) and someone was there to help me bring the eggs in and be done with them.  Then I came home, and when I sat down on the couch, I discovered two eggs that had fallen out of the bags.... so I actually turned in 1998 instead of 2000.  No biggie, I'm sure.  I'll hand these off to hubby when he goes for his last Tuesday night study. I think he said this week was a celebration of the end of the study - and they want side dishes brought.  Decided I will fix potato salad for him to take.

My fingers are swollen and sore, but they have survived the stuffing and closing of all the eggs.  But my body - well, I have developed a cold of sorts.  Some coughing. No fever.  Found some antibiotics and am taking those, taking Musinex DM - I preach on Sunday the last time this season - got to be able to talk!  I just seem to have some coughing but will keep people at a distance until I can get it to stop.  My arthritis in my knuckles are letting me know they aren't happy.  And, I was awakened during the night with my left hip burning - just as it did the night I got bit by the scorpion or whatever bit me on the inside of my leg. I can't go back to sleep; it is a burning that covers my thigh.  Happens about every few days.  Need to put Voltaren on it as well.  Dr. Mark, not seeing the bites and walking through that journey with me, thinks it may just be some time of 'itis' - and it may be - but I'm more concerned it could be something more serious. He and I will have talk about this when I have an appointment with him.  Not going to schedule one for just an occasional pain in the left hip.  The Fosamax that I take for my osteopenia - a side effect is that a bone can just snap in to for no reason (the drug builds up the outside of the bone, but the inside can still be weak).  I think I may have one more year on this drug - I would prefer not taking anything, but the doctors seem to think my osteopenia needs help.  I don't like putting drugs in my body.  Unless I have a reason for it.  

My half a peanut butter sandwich didn't sustain me from last night so I got into hubby's cereal this morning.  Rice Chek, I think it was.  Not bad. At least it filled my belly.    I need to lay out something for dinner; we don't have plans to go out.

My daughter sent emails out yesterday to me and her daughter - we have an AIRBNB in Pine that we will be staying at.  I told her to just make a decision.  I'm not too sure about the decision, with looking at the photos, but it will be fine.  I am VERY self-conscious about my snoring due to numerous laughing comments about it.  Like I have any control over it.  I'm not sure how the rooms will be lined out - one of them will either have to listen to my snoring - or I get the best room in the house. Alone. For one, I am usually the one up first - and I do my quiet time in the room.  If I share a room, I will have to actually get up out of bed and go into another room.  Of course I'm the only one who has a time with God in the mornings, but just because I'm on vacation, doesn't mean I give it up.  I need my time with God too much - it is a part of me, if you know what I mean.

Both Sue and Brett are back at work today after two all day meetings (grateful one was yesterday so that I could do the eggs!)  I still had a couple meetings to schedule - but nothing heavy.  Today I am also covering for a friend - and she has about 8 doctors.  Usually I don't hear from any of them - so will see how that goes.  But I'm hoping, with the start of this cold, that I can sneak in a couple naps.  Maybe I can - Sue and I will chat this morning and check on our weekend activities coming up - but after that, I may not hear from her.  

Another short one, but I'm feeling tired so want to take this last ten minutes or so and close my eyes.  I already have the work computer up so I'm good there.  I just need some rest; enjoy the quiet while hubby is gone.  He will be going to see our friend Chuck - so he won't be home until about 11:30AM.  I love these mornings when I can just be quiet.  And maybe take a nap. :-)

Gotta go - time is getting away from me.  Have a blessed day - for someone who needs encouragement, who could use a friend - be one.  Let them know you care.  Be kind.  Some day you may need it yourself. 

Blessings!

Finally 'got them done' - I think

 Yeah, I finally worked a few hours on the tax stuff last night and I think I finally have all my part completed.  At least I handed hubby the sheet with all the totals on it and hope that it flies.  I need to do a better job of tracking this year - as I say every year.  In fact, I've thought about grabbing an empty journal, and since this is only March, perhaps I can go back to January 1 and start listing any dr visits, any medical/dental/vision things paid, getting the mileage put down - if I can 'remember' to do this every time, perhaps, just perhaps, I can get my part done much sooner.  Going to have to work on it, for sure.

It's Friday and we have the Rider's dinner tonight for soup!  Looking forward to trying different soups - although since I haven't been eating much volume, I will probably fill up quickly.  No biggie. Same price for it all!  We plan to get there at our usual time, and I am looking forward to hanging out with my son for a short while.  

I did not sleep well last night.  I can mark that up to several things.  One, I fixed another cup of coffee about mid-morning and sipped on it all day (which usually doesn't affect me, but again, I'm looking for reasons).  Two, my mind was focused on numbers and taxes all evening.  When hubby got home, he was ready for bed and since I was finished with the taxes, I went to bed too.  The mind had not shut off and at midnight I was still awake. I feel like I was awake most of the night anyway - but my Apple watch reports that I still slept about 6 hours.  I need 7-8 hours - but don't usually get it as my mind wakes up around 4AM.  And, I either turn it off and try to sleep longer (at least until 5AM) or I get up. This morning I think it was about 4:30AM I finally dragged myself from the bed.

I bought a percolator the other day.  Did I mention it yesterday?  Don't remember.  Anyway - I love the smell of coffee when it is brewing.  Yes, our Keurig has a pot that we can make coffee - but it isn't the same.  Drip coffee is not percolated coffee.  Unless you have had both, you don't recognize the difference.  The percolated coffee is much more 'tasty', for lack of a better word.  Drip coffee - I can remember when Mr. Coffee came out (yes, I'm THAT old) and it was the 'thing' and everyone loved having a pot completed fairly quick - faster than the percolator.  But I tell you, there is just something about the coffee when you use a percolator.  But anyway, it arrived yesterday and we will use it this weekend; probably tomorrow morning.  I'll get it ready tonight and tomorrow hubby will just need to plug in and turn on.  AND, I love freshly ground coffee beans.  Mmmmm the smell of REAL coffee.  The Keurig is fine for a quick cup - but one doesn't know how long that box of k-cups has been sitting in storage.... just saying.  Some times our coffee is very tasty, and from the same box, we can get coffee that really tastes 'off'.  Some days I can't get it down.  Will see have the percolator works - stay tuned.  Won't use it every day - probably - but still... on weekends we can when we want more than one cup.

My last day of 'no Brett' work.  Kind of been nice this week.  Sue is still on PTO until next Thursday. I'm glad she is taking some time off. I'm really going to miss her when she retires.  I was able to complete another set of minutes yesterday AND get the board deck in the Teams folder for the next board meeting.  One more set of minutes to do and one more deck to put in the Teams folder for the next meeting - and I have gotten things accomplished this week that I needed to do!  Yea me!

Time is getting away from me and I want to jump in the shower while I can.  Hubby is at his bible study and will be coming home about 9:30AM or so.  A few hours by myself - even with work.   I enjoy these quiet mornings.  But - I do need to get off and start moving.  

Happy Friday!

Blessings!

Slow to start, quick to finish?

 This has been a tough morning.  I didn't sleep much last night. This time not because I was too warm, but because I did not do anything yesterday.  Well, not that I had to exert any effort.  We went to church, as I mentioned in my late post yesterday.  We went to lunch.  We came home and changed clothes - and we read for a large part of the afternoon. As in my body was not moving; it was on the couch in a comfortable position, reading.  And enjoying the quiet.  I fixed dinner.  No great thing there.  We went back to reading, then watched a movie while I crochet'd, then read a bit more and went to bed.  And I was wide awake. The body had gotten so very little movement that it wasn't tired.  So I tossed and turned most of the night.  Because hubby hadn't napped yesterday, that I'm aware of, he did sleep.   Then a bit after midnight I dozed... awake a couple more times; the alarm goes off at 4AM.  No, I don't want to get up.  I doze until 4:30AM and finally get up.  I come in here... hubby brings the coffee in, and although I did reading and my journaling, every time I paused... I wanted tog o back to sleep.  And here it is going on 7AM when I need to get on my computer, and I'm writing in here, and I am still sleepy and want to curl up in a ball and go back to sleep.  It may be a very long day.  I may have to take breaks and nap - but then again, even if I am sleepy, that is a rare thing.

I have another 8:30AM appointment with the chiropractor - ad he is about 3 minutes away and only takes about 15 minutes - but maybe it will be enough to get me woke up.  Another cup of coffee is on the agenda as well.  Coffee has been boring and weak lately so I ordered some coffee - mushroom coffee, no less - from an ad on Facebook.  I need to quit ordering off of facebook!!  It should be arriving soon - I sure do hope that I like it!  I think today - which is organic French Roast and hubby added some cinnamon to it - I think he didn't put enough coffee in it, for it takes like colored water.  I may need to ask him to add another tablespoon or two.  No, I'm not 'allowed' to make the coffee. That's his 'job'.  Sigh.

As far as I know, there isn't much on the agenda for today with work, but then I haven't looked at my computer yet today.  I'll get up and turn it on shortly.  I have the chiropractor this morning and my gym training this afternoon.  I am going to call the dermatologist's office today and see if I can get in.  Those darn bug bites from last October still bother me at times and they should be completely healed up by now - and are not.  Something is going on in my thigh that causes pain - and I have had this pain off and on since the night I got the bug bites.  We never have figured out what the bug bites were - in the beginning, if you recall, we thought it was bedbugs - but it is all gathered together in one area, which is unusual.  But it still could be, I guess.  The urgent care 'doctor' of not use said scorpion bites - but my dermatologist back then did not voice an opinion.  He has since retired and his son has the practice.  My daughter, who also goes there, says the son is more attentive and knows a bit more.  I'm willing for him to take a look at these and see if he can figure it out.  

Yeah, I tried to go to my medical doctor twice now.  Back last Thanksgiving time one of the spots had swollen up and turned red about the size of a nickel - so I tried to get in - no appointments available for 2-3 weeks.  So I just said nevermind.  I tried again about a month ago to get in to see her - and was told she had no time for a week or more, but I asked to go ahead and get an appointment and explained why.  Two days later I got a call from someone at her office who told me she didn't have any available time, and I should go to my dermatologist.  I repeated her words back to me.   "It's a skin issue so go to your dermatologist."  It's not just a skin issue to me - there is something going on inside of my leg from the bug bites that causes my thigh to ache.  That would be medical, would it not?  Anyway, I'm disillusioned about going back to this doctor and am thinking about seeking yet another PCP who I feel can see me.  I had chatted with this doctor on our portal and told her I was going to come in and see if she could look at the bites.  She responded to me that was fine (and I told her person that!! But she wouldn't give me an appointment.  I haven't written anymore on the portal.  I'm pouting.  She really hasn't done much for me in three years - I get the blood work and she adjusted my levothyroxine the last time. Everything else is the same. She listens to my heart beat and sends me on my way.  I asked for an EKG and a chest x-ray the last time, but for some reason it was 'too late' to order them (why is that?) so would do it this year.   Wow - am I complaining this morning or what??!!  Why can I not find a medical doctor who cared about me as much as the one I had for 30+ years who had me always taking tests every few years to make sure I was ok?!  I may beg his son who took the practice to take me on - but the offices have moved and it is further away a bit.  Hubby still goes to the son.  His son didn't want to take me on - can you imagine?  I'm 'easy money' since I only go once a year as a rule.

Anyway - on to other thoughts - but I don't have any.  Eight minutes.  I need to get up and turn on the computer and let it start warming up.  I did have some things I could write about, but no time to do that today.  Maybe I could remember to do it tomorrow.   

Hubby has no doctor appointments this week and has two breakfasts on the schedule, I think. I hope he will go to his Bible study this Friday.  We have been together 24x7 for a few days now... it really hasn't been too bad.  I guess because I didn't go do a project and leave him out of it; I read in the front room with him.  Got a couple books going and one on my kindle.  I may finish that one tonight, it is pretty good.  But, don't know how long it is.  

I have nothing to write at the moment - my eyes are on the clock.  Stay tuned... maybe I will think of something fantastic to write about tomorrow.  O not.  Same O Same O I am sure it will be.  In the meantime, you have a fantastic day!

Blessings!

Hubby kept me awake last night

 with all his tossing and turning.  With rain/snow forecasted in the state, I'm sure his shoulder is hurting and when it does, he doesn't sleep.  Most times I can sleep through it, but last night was not one of those nights.  Therefore, I turned off my alarm at 4AM, dozed some until 4:30AM, then got up - and fell asleep for a little while in here already - and I'm still wanting to go back to sleep!  Sure hope it doesn't make me grumpy!  At least hubby will be gone most of the morning and I will be alone.

Just read my son's blog and I am concerned... and will be doing some serious praying for him.  Glad he wrote about some issues he is having... some times that is the only way I know things.  Brings back the scripture I mentioned yesterday from Jeremiah 17:14 "Heal me, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for Thou are the One I praise."  And although it isn't me that is having the issue, it is my child, whom I love.  I hope he will call the doctor and get in right away in case it is a bug bite or something more serious that is causing the problem.  Waiting can only make it worse, and more expensive to take care of. 

I finally made my eye doctor appointment yesterday for the pre-op.  My eye has been annoying me enough I finally gave in and called.  They gave me a couple early dates in February, but I opted for one on February 22nd so that hubby can take me as it will be in the downtown office and I'm not sure exactly where it is, and he has been there several times.  They are calling it a 'pre-op' so will see how it goes.  It doesn't hurt, and I can still see, but because it is messing up my vision, it annoys me.  At least it is now scheduled. I told hubby last night that I had scheduled it.... and he asked me why.  (SMH - he has gotten after me a few times to schedule the appointment - why is he asking me why did I schedule it?)  I just told him I decided to get it scheduled. Some things make no sense to me.   That question is one of them since he knows about the cataract and that I'm to have it removed at some point, and he had been telling me to schedule.  

Yesterday was a somewhat busy day at work - but finally got the retainer for the board retreat on its way to the hotel.  I feel like I'm beating my head against the wall sometimes.  Just can't get all the information I need to do my job for something like this.  Will be so glad when it's over. Another company I worked for had me attend as well, in case I was needed for anything (I wasn't) - but I've been told I don't have to go - so that is fine with me.  Although staying at a nice place would be fun... but they aren't paying for overnight stays... they decided on just one day.

Have you ever had so many things to do... and yet you feel inside that there is more that you want to do? I can't explain it.  Sunday I was walking around Michaels (I had to go - needed to pick up yarn)... and I just felt like I was missing something. I just had a longing within me to learn a new craft of some sort and do something productive with it.  I know, it doesn't make sense.  I have my yarn, I have my sewing (although I can't see well enough to thread the needle now and need the magnifying glass), I have my books to read (just a few, and I have more coming in. Tee hee. I hope they arrive when hubby isn't home - get tired of his comments).  I love to cook and have done some of that the past couple of months.  But I feel like I want to do something and I don't know what.  Am I just getting stir crazy being home day in and day out?  Is it that I'm just wanting to block out the world and immerse myself in something new?

I can name several things just sitting here that I NEED to do - 1) organize my journals from the past 30 years and go through them. I want to put them all on the computer and get rid of the clutter of the paper. 2) I want to organize my books by either author or alphabetical order (when I mentioned that to hubby he about had a fit over the time it would take (who cares?)).  3) I want to finish up a couple quilts I started and have never finished. 4) I need to clean out my closet and get rid of t-shirts that I don't wear anymore and my jeans that are too little but I hate to get rid of 'just in case I drop a couple inches' and can fit in them again.  And I could go on and on with numbering things that I would want to do.

But I'm missing something.  There is a longing within me to do something more.  And I don't know what it is.  Even if I took days off work ... what would I do?  Hubby would want us to do things 'together'.  Other than his running off to his breakfasts/lunches with his friends and his Bible studies... we ARE together nearly all the time.  What could it possibly be that I want to learn, what I want to do? 

Colossians 3:23 (NKJV):  "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men."

That popped in my mind as I wrote the paragraph above it.  Whatever I do, do it well, for I will be doing it for the Lord.  I know that. I do that (I hope) in my daily life.  But it doesn't help the yearning I have within me to do something else.

Could it be I have just grown weary of what I do nearly day in and day out?  I don't know.  Some days working at my job is fun - but some days I just don't want to do it.  Maybe I just need to take some time off work and get away.  Maybe I can plan something around hubby's birthday in April.  I did last April and we stayed in Prescott - and I got so sick and overwhelmed by the fumes of their cleaning... I still have reactions from that visit.  I cannot remember ever feeling so sick as I did then.  Anyway - need to erase that memory so maybe I will plan another getaway about that time to erase that last one.

But what do I do now?  My clock tells me to get off the computer and turn on the work computer.  Ugh. At least I am finally starting to wake up.  My coffee cup is empty.  I don't want to move from my chair. But I will get up, turn on the work computer, go get dressed, and come back and sign in.  I think there is eggs ole' still so guess what is for breakfast. :)   

Guess I need to get moving... sitting here isn't doing it.  Stir my heart, O Lord, and show me what Thou wouldst have me do.....

Blessings!

Sleeping in... which I really could....

I had difficulty getting to sleep last night and then didn't want to wake up this morning.  I did get up about 4:10AM, but struggled to stay awake.  This was one of those mornings that I let myself fall back to sleep a few times.  I did get a chapter read in my Bible, but it was difficult to keep my eyes open.  I'm finally starting to wake up and it's a good thing - it's almost 6:30AM!  I'm usually starting to finish up everything and get ready to start the day.  But, alas, today is not going to be one of those days, I think.  And although I generally start work at 7AM, it isn't critical I start at that time.  After all, I generally work through my lunch hour so I don't have to monitor my time.  Today will be an interesting day though. I do have things to do, but one boss is out and another I support is gone for 3 weeks, and the other I support is on his last day before he is gone for a week.  Monday - Wednesday next week will be very slow days.  I do have things to do though.  

My mind is blank this morning and I have written a few nonsense things and then erased them.  Could it be that my mind is still asleep?  I am feeling really tired this morning.  I think a lot of my tiredness is just the depression inside of me that is wanting to get away by myself with God and knowing that I can't do that.  Maybe I will talk with hubby about getting away and going to Tucson.... and I'll pay the hotel bill.  I'd take Monday off and go this weekend but I have timecards on Monday so there is that.  And Tuesday I have to go to Mesa so there is that.  Perhaps the weekend he wants to go up to Prescott I can convince him to go to Tucson and I'll take a day or two off work... ok - I'm rambling again.  I'm just wanting to see my granddaughter and great granddaughter.  I know they are also busy and have their own lives and need to work around their schedule.  Maybe some day soon..... and if not, I do have Christmas!  Maybe take a day off to go to Tucson for Christmas shopping?   That's a good excuse, isn't it?

Psalm 39:7 (NKJV):  "And now, Lord, what do I wait for?  My hope is in You."

Waiting isn't always a fun thing to do.  More often than not, we are waiting for something, do you agree?  We wait for meals.  We wait for time to start work.  We wait to go somewhere. We wait.... but what do we do while we wait?

Some may read a book.  Some may walk about the room.  Some fidget.  I think that's why 'fidgets' were created - it's not only for people who get anxious and need something to calm them down, it is for those who don't know what to do with themselves when they have time on their hands.  Where do your thoughts turn when you are waiting?  Do you find yourself getting angry at having to wait?  Do you get frustrated?

How do YOU read this scripture?  I like to think that in my waiting, I know my Hope is in Jesus.  If He chooses me to leave this earth right now, my Hope is in Him, that I will go to be with Him.  Do you have that Hope?

I often look at waiting as I could be doing something more productive.  Actually, when I know I am going to be waiting, I'll take some crochet with me, or a book, so that I can at least keep busy.  I think I told you that I took Atomic Habits with me when I went to get my DEXascan last week (or so), and two people told me they had just finished it!  One read the book, the other listened to it on audible.  I've tried to listen to books on audible but unless I am completely alone and it's quiet, I can't listen well.  Do you have that problem?  On a road trip, perhaps that would be good.  But just sitting and listening, naw, I can't do that.  I find I get distracted or my mind wanders and I miss what is being said.  Besides, when I READ a book, if I don't understand exactly what it is saying, or I get distracted, I can go back and reread what I had just read. 

In fact, hubby, to my delight, left the TV off last night and we read.  I went back a chapter in Atomic Habits so that I could remember where I left off.  Although each chapter is a bit different, it isn't a continuous story or novel, I find it helps me to refresh my mind on what I've read.  I'm hoping to finish it this weekend.  It really is a good book and I'm getting a lot out of it.  I'm hoping to incorporate some of that in to my life tow here I can get things done.

In fact, I was talking to my daughter about it last Tuesday.  I have a lot of costume jewelry that I used to wear when I was in the office.  We will not be going back to the office and the only time I really 'dress up' is for church.  So what am I going to do with all this jewelry?  I'll keep all my good stuff, of course, but what about the other?  When we moved, it got all thrown in to a couple bags and they are still in those bags.  I told my daughter I think I'll take one bag a weekend and sort them out on the table, then send a photo to those that might want some, and let them choose what they want.  The rest I can donate somewhere.  Don't want to give to Goodwill; they sell for a profit.  Savers is good, so is the Salvation Army.  I'll have to think it through.  

Well, I think I've rambled on enough this morning with nothing to say.  Maybe I ought to go to an occasional writing in here... write only when I have something important to say... but because I have started to do it daily, it has become a habit.... whether I have anything to say or not.  

Two minutes until 7AM... guess I need to get to the computer.  Hope that your day is a ....

Blessing!

Is it the weather?

 I certainly don't know what is going on with me, but I am completely exhausted when I get up - and when I get off work - and sometimes in between!  I signed off the computer yesterday at 4PM, walked into the front room, sat down, closed my eyes, and fell asleep for about 30 minutes!  This morning I haven't been able to get much reading done as every time I started, my eyes would close and I'd go back to sleep again.  I don't like feeling so tired.  And it really, probably, isn't being so tired, as I am so lazy.  At leats that is what I think.  

We had rain finally come through last night; it woke me during the night.  Could that be why I'm so sleepy and tired?  My 'sleep scores' on Fitbit - which I don't hold any faith in - have been pretty low for me the past week.  I usually average around 86 - 90 - and this past week I've hit as low as 68 - 70 and I think I have slept pretty well! Night before last it was 75 - last night was 69.  What is going on with me?  

Perhaps it is more my food intake?  Perhaps I need to eat more healthy and clear my body of toxins and get refocused on exercise?  Hubby has been fussing at me for two weeks about going to the gym.... what he doesn't know is that when he leaves the house, I have gotten on my rebounder and although it may be only a couple minutes, I did get on it, and then I have done my weights some.  But definitely not enough to do any good, I admit.  I reminded him last night that he doesn't have to have me go with him; he can go by himself.  I get the blank look and 'I don't want to go by myself'.  I know he has a fear of falling since the doctor has told him to be extremely careful that he could fall and if he hits his head, it could cause a brain bleed.  He is really terrified he will fall, and I won't be there for him.

Our neighbor, the one who I think I mentioned the other day about calling us and we called 911.  She called me from the hospital yesterday and she has had a stroke.  She is doing very well, doesn't appear to have any side effects and has regained the use of her hand and arm that had 'quit working'.  Her daughter arrived last night and I stayed up until I saw her as I had unlocked her mother's house for her and had fixed her some food to have when she got in.  She flew in from Florida and judging from the time it took, she had a 7 hour flight time - which means she had to sit somewhere and change planes.  I am sure she was exhausted too.  She will be here about 10 days to make sure everything is taken care of for her mother.  I don't think she will need to be put in a care facility just yet (she is 87) as she does have a caregiver come M-F and stay most of the day with her.  I just need to be a bit more attentive in the evenings and check on her more.

I have a lifeline screening tis morning. Have you heard of them?  They offer several tests that you can have done for a minimal cost.  I did this about 3-4 years ago so am getting it done again today.  My older brother had it done 5-6 or more years ago - that was when he found he had some heart issues and needed to focus on those - and he has.  In fact, last year he had the vessels of his heart cleaned out - and he said that just having that done proactively took a lot out of him.  It has taken him quite a while to get his strength back - it was almost like having a heart attack - although he didn't have those side effects.  But - Heart Disease does run in my family.  My uncles had heart issues.  My dad didn't as he died far too young at 39.  But My oldest brother died of heart attack/failure; my next oldest brother has heart issues and is the one being proactive in keeping arteries open and taking care of himself by walking and working out.  My younger brother has had a couple heart surgeries - getting 5 stents, I think it was, some years back.  I feel my boys should not be afraid of it, but be watchful and have their hearts checked out too.   I haven't heard of heart issues with us girls, but one never knows.  Anyway - I'm having 5 tests done - carotid artery screening; heart rhythm screening; abdominal aortic aneurysm screening; peripheral artery disease screening, and osteoporosis risk assesment.  I know I have osteopenia.  I get all these tests for only $158 and if I had waited, the price would have been about 30 dollars less.  Oh well.  All the results of these tests will be sent to my doctor and I get a copy as well.  Something I think everyone should do.  LOL  Hubby has mentioned it a few times that he wants to do it.  When he brought it up last night, I asked him why.... his doctor hasd run every test immaginable on him - and I'm sure he has done these tests.  But I did tell him I'd send him information when I get it via email. 

Regardless of what tests I have done; regardless of what results are found - if any, there is only ONE who is in control of my life and how it operates.  My Heavenly Father.  He is the One in control of my heart beating, my mind thinking, my body moving, my blood flowing - all of me is controled by Him.  I don't need to worry if something may be found - that has never worried me - I pray for a revelation of things if something is wrong.  If nothing is revealed, then I will not think about something being wrong.  I go to my doctor on the 15th for my physical before I start on vacation (we are gone that week) and I expect tests to be ordered, which I will complete upon my return.  I get my blood work completed on Monday so he'll have it.  Maybe I should start eating healthier now if I have blood work done on Monday? :-)  Won't make a difference - it's a 3 month average I hear... oh well.  Lay off that sugar and carbs!

Psalm 139:13-16 (NKJV):  "For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.  My frame was not hidden from You.  When I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth, Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.  And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them."

Each one of us have been fashioned by the hand of God.  He created us in our mother's womb.  He blew His breath in us and caused us to breathe.  He covered our bones with skin.  He gave us life.  And yet, before He even did that, He knew us.  He knew our successes, and He knew our failures. And yet, He still loved us enough to create us, and He loves us still, regardless of where we are.  He never gives up on us.

What a great and awesome Heavenly Father we have!  We are made in His image; we are made to worship Him.  Not that He needs our worship; but because He loves us so much and gives us so much and cares for us so much... how can we not continuously praise and worship our Creator?  

O Sovereign Lord, there is none like You!  All glory, honor, and praise belong only to You, Lord.  We worship You; we thank You for providing for all our needs.  We bless You for not leaving us without, but drawing us close to You.  You alone are worthy of our praise, O Lord.  Hallelujah to Your Holy Name!  All blessings are Yours O Lord, and we bless You.  Thank You for loving us unconditionally.  Thank you for giving us life and for sustaining us.  You are our God.

Take a moment and tell God what you are thankful for.  Your family?  Success?  Work? Health?  It is always good to give thanks.

Blessings!

Another 'I want to sleep mornings!

 For some reason I cannot get myself to wake up this morning.  I have fallen asleep twice, just by closing my eyes and well, next thing I know, minutes have slipped by when I should have been reading.  My typing fingers aren't doing so well this morning either, and the letters are either running together or the wrong one is jumping in there.  What is going on?!

Just glanced at my emails.  Ah... another letter from my little sister.  I can't respond.  It wasn't a nice letter and I cannot respond and I will not defend myself.  I don't need to.  LOL  She has become our older sister, something that she always said she didn't want to be.  Can you believe she has brought up things from when our mother died?  Seriously?  Has she been thinking about these things all these years?  Mother died in 2004.  Wow.

I believe that as Christians we are taught to forgive.  True, doesn't mean we will forget what happened.  I haven't forgotten those things she brought up... but ironically, those things that didn't happen to her, but to me, why is it important to bring up?  I choose to forgive and continue to live my life free of stress, worry, and anxiety.  Yes, I get hurt by people.  Sometimes the pain is so bad I can't even breathe.  I've shared those times with you.  But I get over it.  I may be cautious sometimes about those relationships, but I still allow them back in my life, if they choose.

A friend I have at work is a prime example.  I helped her get the job she wanted.  We were good 'friends' and talked frequently.  Then one day as we were talking over lunch, she mentioned she had Budda statues and paintings in her house, because she loved the 'big baby' look.  I was shocked!  This woman confessed to love Jesus, but had these things in her home?  Before I could stop myself (and I shouldn't have!) I admonished her about having idols in her home.  She argued that she just liked the paintings and statues. I reminded her that they are idols and we are not have no idols before us.  Ever.  Nothing more was said after that conversation, but all of a sudden, she was spreading lies about me, saying that she tried to show me how to do things and I would tell her I didn't want to know how, that I wasn't going to do it.  It got back to me via my boss.  It took me a long time to figure out where the root of her lies came from.  It came back to this conversation.

It wasn't long before her husband collapsed at work and was in the hospital for several months and I don't know if they ever found out why.  I gave her a prayer shawl and prayed with her for her husband and told her I would continue to pray for him. Then she started having heart issues and had to take a years' leave of absence.  She's back now - and for some reason, we are great friends again.  She had asked me questions about Jesus about a year ago now and I sent her some books. Now she is always telling me that I 'helped a soul who was searching to have a close relationship with Jesus find her way'.  It isn't about me.  It's about a child of God searching for Him.

I love how God took a situation like that and turned it around for His glory.  If He took that situation and allowed me to be used to show someone how loving and kind He is, how forgiving, I'm all for it.  Her words had hurt me, but I forgave and didn't retaliate.  And I am thinking I need to do the same here.  My sister blames me for her not having a relationship with our big brother.  It has never been about me.  It's the things she did to him, but it is easier to blame me rather than own up to one's own issues.  And that's ok.  I just don't need to respond to them when it is in attack mode.

I'm guessing the boxes she sent me will arrive this week.  She did thank me for sending $$ to pay for the shipping.  But I have no idea what she sent other than the quilt she claims "I threw at her" but she forgets I have a witness that I did not throw it at her, I tossed it on the washer if I remember right.   I'll give this attitude a few more weeks, or even months, and she will come back around.   I'll pretend I didn't get this hateful email.... and when the boxes arrive I will tell her I have received them and thank her for sending.  And then it is back in her corner.

You've seen that meme I'm sure on Facebook about "When someone tells you not to drink coffee, get them out of your life as you don't need that kind of negativity" - I know I said it wrong - but you get the jest of it, I'm sure.   I've allowed my sister to .... well, enough of that.  Not going there.  Denial?  No, self-preservation.  

Today is Monday and of course I am back at work.  My boss is still back east but is working today.  She comes back into town next weekend.  She has been working three days and PTO two days the past three weeks.  I think we are meeting up with another mutual friend on the 23rd so I'll get to see her then.  But today, I have an 8AM meeting with her to just catch up on things.  It feels like she has been gone forever.  

And I need to get myself pulled together, get dressed and get my work computer turned on.  It's been difficult lately cause I've really wanted to quit work soon.  I'm tired.  But, then, there are days I am grateful for these work days because if our weekends are any sign of what my life would be like, it would be b-o-r-i-n-g with sitting at home all the time.  Roadtrips are out of the question.  I don't want long trips with hubby.  Hotel bills are expensive.  We could make it without this salary, but lots of things would change.  So, until I hear clearly from God that I am to quit work, or something happens that allows it, I guess I need to change my attitude and be grateful I have a job that pays me well and I can stay home and work. 

Philippians 4:8 (NKJV):   "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things."

So, today, I choose to think on good things, not the bad.  I choose to keep my eyes on Jesus, and not on words spoken in anger.  I choose to live life, and not allow anger to kill me.  

I choose life.  What about you?  Think about those things .... are they noble?  Just? Pure? Lovely? of Good Report?  Is there any virtue in the things you have on your mind?  Is there anything praiseworthy?  If not, then perhaps you need to let it go.  Sometimes letting go can change your whole world.

Blessings!

Too much fresh air?

 I do not know what is going on with me this morning as I cannot wake up!  I woke up at 4AM and told myself "Nope!  It's Sunday!" So I went back to sleep until 5AM and then forced myself to get up out of bed (afraid I'd start tossing and turning and waken hubby).  So I come in here and try to read... and I managed to get done my reading this morning that I wanted to do, albeit my eyes kept closing and I had to reread a few things.  After my reading I sat here for a few moments and I think I just 'lost' a half hour.  And what is funny is that I imagined in my mind that I was typing here.  I didn't even have the computer on my lap.  We were in bed by 10PM; granted a little later than usual, but not too bad.  UGH.  I don't like it when I can't wake up.  Maybe by the time I finish this by making myself focus I can awaken.

The only thing I can think of, other than not sleeping well all week, is that we were outside some with a lot of wind yesterday; well, a lot more than usual.  The granddaughter's gender reveal was yesterday and we were outside for about an hour and a half.  The wind was blowing pretty hard.  I don't know; I only know I need to move about to stay awake.  

Yesterday we went over to check on our neighbors as we have seen him, but not her, for the past week since they got back from Hawaii.  About an hour later, we were back in our home.  She is quite the talker but oh my!  She is a children's book author, she's a minister's daughter, she's a social worker, she's a school teacher, ok - maybe those are she was versus she is, but she is getting settled in here and whatever classes she is taking, she said she had one more book to write and then she will be finished with that course.  I get amused when she pronounces Hawaii differently than any way I've heard.  But, of course, she has lived there several years so would think she would have the better pronounication.  She shared some things about their life there, and it isn't anything like I imagined in my own mind.  The big island isn't like a big metropolis/city like in which we live; she described it as poor and very difficult to get people to work there.  I would never have thought!  What took so long for them to get back here was they had difficulty in hiring people to come work and help load up the 40 ft pod in which they were putting their belongings to ship to the States.  She also said they wanted to get back here 'on the mainland' in case something happened and they would be more protected.  I'm looking forward to being friends with them.  Her husband is very nice, somewhat quiet.  Perhaps he has gotten used to not talking much?  We also found that we like a lot of the same things - she is also an avid reader of Christian books, as I am.  She says she has 1200 books.... I don't have near that many as I've given several boxes of books away the past few years, (and wish I still had them!)  and they are being shipped here.  We had a great conversation and I'm looking forward to getting better acquainted.

Church is on the agenda for this morning.  At 8AM I'll have to set up hubby's computer so we can watch Jentezen Franklin and after that we'll get ready to go to the church we are trying to make a decision on.  There are a lot of churches around us and trying to find one we both like has proven difficult.  We do both agree that we want a church that preaches the Bible and not one that wants to make us feel good about life.  I do enjoy preaching that reveals the scripture and then shares what it would look like today.  Sometimes scripture is hard to place in today's world. 

Reminds me of a movie we watched just before we went to bed.  We've seen it several times before and I enjoy watching it.  It's called Joshua.  I especially love the end when he meets with the pope.  I know that I have shared this movie a few times over the years, but that part always gets me.  Joshua is talking with the pope and he says "Peter, don't you know me?"  And then Joshua tells him that this world is lonely, they are hurting (can't remember the exact words), and they have a missing piece in their hearts and that missing piece is Him.  When the pope asks what he can do, Joshua replies, "Tell them that I love them."  I could watch that one part over and over and it grabs my heart every time.

"Tell them that I love them".

Jesus loves you with an undying love.  He loves you so much that He went to the cross for you.  If you were the only person left on this earth, He loves you so much that He still would have died for you.  There is no greater love than the love that Jesus has for you.  

How can we turn that love away and go our own way?  How can we reject such a love?  But yet, we do by the way the live, the way we do things our own way.  I'm just as guilty.  How many times do we even think about Jesus throughout the day?  We should always be praising Him and praying without ceasing.  

Praying without ceasing?  Sometimes it isn't verbal prayers, but even in our thoughts.  Taking a sip of good coffee and just thinking, "thank You, Lord, for making good coffee so that I can drink it this morning."  Sound silly?  Aren't you thankful for caffeine?  This morning I definitely am! (finally feel like I'm starting to wake up!)  God loves you so much He provides all that you need.  

You have a job?  You have food on your table?  Family doing well?  You have a roof over your head?  All these things we can tell God 'Thank you' for.  You still breathing?  Yeah, I can be thankful for that too.  There are so many people without a job, without food on a table - without the table even!  Sickness, heartache, so much of that in this world.  And what are we doing about it?  Maybe we can't physically be involved in people's lives, but we can pray.  Even just saying "Lord, please provide for those in need; grant them food to eat, water to drink, and shelter to keep them safe."

I John 5:14-15 (NIV):  "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know tht he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him."

Sometimes we have a hard time believing that when we pray for healing for someone and they aren't healed, that there is a God who loves us.  But what if God wanted to do something through that; perhaps you can't see it in your pain and sorrow, but even through the death of a loved one, God works for the good of us.  We can embrace His love for us even though our pain is great; or we can reject Him.  I choose to love.

Blessings!

A tough morning, indeed!

 Last night we watched a movie that my youngest son suggested.  Greater.  It's a true story about the life of Burt Burlsworth.  I think that was his name.  Excellent movie.  And yes, I cried at the end of it like a baby.  If you can watch it and not cry or even water up, let me know and I'll give you $5 - cause you can't.  I hadn't heard of this guy so googled him to see who he was.   Greater.  On Netflix.  Watch it.

This morning has been tough thus far.  I cannot stay awake!  We went to bed around 9-ish I think... well after the Suns won.  I went to sleep fairly quick.  I slept until 2:50AM and then went back to sleep.  Somehow I turned off my alarm for 4AM but the one (Fitbit alarms) for 4:15AM was still set.  Hubby reached over to see if I was still in bed at 4:11AM and it woke me up so I got up.  I read my devotional and Bible.... then fell asleep and started dreaming these really stupid things - like Sheeba pushing her blankets under this door and when I looked, the door was half eaten away (she doesn't chew on doors or furniture).  Then I was at a meeting and I couldn't get my eyes open to be 'at' the meeting and kept bumping into people so I pretended that I had something in my eye and couldn't open them.  Stupid, huh?  I have no idea what was going on in my mind or in my body that I just couldn't get them open.  I had to struggle just now at 5:30AM to get them open so that I could work on this.  Hopefully I will be awake enough after I write this that I can do a bit more reading in one of my books.  I WAS extremely exhausted last night - but it was because I didn't do anything all day.

Well, I DID work out with my weights here at home for about 20 minutes, but is was more of a mental/physical exhaustion.  Not from anything I did.  I think I was sunk in depression too, which never helps when I allow myself to get there.  Hubby even asked if I wanted to go to the gym and I just couldn't. Of course it is my fault that he didn't go either. "It's up to you.  Why don't you want to go?"  I was tired.  I didn't feel like going.  I just wanted to take a nap.  (I had already taken two short naps during the day). I had a headache.  I sure hope I get some energy going today.  Got to keep moving.  

With runaway dreams like those this morning, I'm afraid to let myself fall back to sleep even for a few minutes! I may need a second cup of coffee today.

I have really been toying with taking tomorrow off work.  No reason to, really, but I do have some things I want to do around here.  But I struggle in getting them done as I seem to be dealing in constant interruptions - and it doesn't matter if I am in my quiet time or working.  It is unsettling to have someone stand in the door until you look at them and ask what they want and it is something that they just want to tell you or ask you that doesn't mean a hill of beans.  It usually leaves me frustrated and distracted and I have to figure out where I was at.  Or I'm 'caught' looking at my phone during the day and a conversation has to be started.... it's ok I look at my phone and it doesn't matter if I'm talking to someone (who?) or just reading facebook or whatever.  I'm taking a moment to refocus.  Sheeba was in several times yesterday too, wanting me to play.  I don't dare shut my door unless I'm in a meeting... and then it's what was the meeting about, who was in it, what were they talking about.... questions, questions, questions!  And I don't want to answer!

See, I told you it was a tough morning!  I think I'm finally starting to wake up; my coffee is about gone and my L-Tyrosine is kicking in.  I think a lot is just life depression.  We all get it at some times, I think. We're tired mentally and physically, even though we may not have done anything.  It's just life and the things that happen in it.  Same o Same o just doesn't cut it.  Sometimes we need to change things up.  I need - desperately need - alone time, I think.  Time in which I can sleep as long and as late as I want without someone waking me up.  Time in which I can read a whole book in one setting if I want.  Time in which I can just be quiet before God and let Him speak to me, instead of me telling Him all the time what I want and not waiting but a few minutes for Him to respond.  

I'm tired.  Part is I need to change my eating habits because I've let them slip again and I'm eating the wrong foods which weary me, instead of building up my strength and endurance.  I actually threw away a 1/2 gallon of ice cream in which only a couple servings were taken out of.  We ate the last pizza in the freezer last night.  I need to get the toxic stuff out of my body and mind and get healthy again.  Did you know there are foods that cause inflammation within your body and keeps you sore and tired and makes your joints hurt all the time?  I was looking some up yesterday.... some include pastas, and of course, fried foods.  We finished off Church's chicken yesterday at noon.  sigh. It all tastes so good.  Good food does too.... I just need to fix it.

Ok.  Beginning today.  I simply must eat right.  I can't live in depression and toxic foods.  I refuse to.  And the only one who can change it, is me.   I have to cook better.  I have to shop better for the right foods.  Eat more fruits and vegetables.  "If it's to be, it's up to me."  

What about you?  How's your morning going?  Perky and ready to start the day?  Good for you!  But if you are like me this morning, difficulty staying awake, feeling very tired - perhaps you need to reevaluate what you are putting in your body and make some changes in your habits as well.

God wants us healthy and strong.  He created good food for us to eat.  He didn't create processed food - that's man-made.  And it's destroying our bodies.  Eat more fruit.  Eat more vegetables.  And eat more meat that is healthy for you.  You'll find you will have lots more energy and the hurting joints will soon disappear.

I've actually read stories of people who have changed their eating habits and not only lost weight, but got rid of walkers, canes, and other things they held on to because they were in such pain and needed assistance.  I've heard of neuropathy leaving backs/legs because eating habits were made better.  It has been said that we are allowing food to control our bodies, and I - especially what I'm feeling this morning - believe it!  

Let's fight the right battles - and get our bodies healthy and strong again!  I'm ready - are you?  Are you in it with me?

Go get em!    Bless your body... you will be glad you did.