It was an overwhelmingly tough day...

 There was a lot going on yesterday.  Work was over - overwhelming.  My mind was consumed with my personal thoughts and then throwing in a lot of work ... well, like I mentioned... it was overwhelming. I talked with my little sister yesterday and she asked me why I hadn't told her about our little brother when we talked earlier.  It really was quite simple.  He had told me on Sunday that he had called her first, and he didn't think it registered.  Obviously, it hadn't, for she claims she didn't know until she called him (after I did) on Tuesday.  Monday we also heard some disturbing news about something else, and I may share about it tomorrow, for right now we don't have answers.  

All these things were on my mind yesterday and throw in all the work I was given by a lot of different people.... but see how good God is to me?  Because He knew I was already overwhelmed by life uncertainties, He kept me busy so that I would not be sitting here thinking about the 'what if' part.... and I even got a very nice note from one of the admins which a copy of was sent to my boss - and then SHE commented on my work ethics and abilities.  Something I sometimes wonder about.  It's nice to be recognized; nice that God keeps my mind occupied so that I don't sit and waller.  Went to the gym after work and got a great workout in (my muscles are starting to groan already as they awaken), and then after fixing a quick dinner of chicken and asparagus (great new recipe for asparagus, they were yummy), then we went to church.  Which ended up not being a usual Wednesday evening prayer meeting!  Halfway through prayer - there was a wedding!!  After the wedding, there was a small reception, but since we did not know the couple, we left and came home.  After sitting for about 30 minutes I made my way to bed.  Not sure when hubby came, but shortly after, I think.

And here I am rambling already this morning.  What to write about that would be possibly of any interest.... my mind is blank this morning.    The pots that I had bought that needed to be put together.... my daughter kept them on Tuesday and called me laughing last night that they got two of them completed for me - and she was going to ban me from Amazon.  I explained that first of all, I ordered from Woot, and secondly, I didn't know they had to be put together!  I wouldn't have bought them had I known that!  I have two more that she said they would put together for me since they have already figured out how to hold the numerous slats to make them fit.  Once I get them back, our son in law said he would fix our sprinkler system in the courtyard and clip the 'spaghetti' tubes the water comes through to each pot so that they will be watered automatically.  I have some wildflower seeds I think I will plant in the pots my daughter brings back to me.  Lots of flowers for the bees and hummingbirds.  I still need to find where I put the two feeders I bought last year - with having an extra day (Memorial Day on Monday) off (yay - a 3 day weekend!!) perhaps I can get some things done.  Like finding my hummingbird feeders.  My closet is getting a desperate clean me out look so need to work in there as well.  It has always been the catch-all when I don't have place to put things.  

Song of Solomon 2:12 (NKJV):  The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come. And the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.

Have you ever read the Song of Solomon?  Maybe you ought to take time and do that.  It is a love story between Solomon and the Shulamite woman, whom he loved.  And obviously, she loved him!  She talks about how she longs to be like the doves who find a crevice in the rock and she wishes to take him away with her to that crevice, so that they could be alone together.  Seriously, it is a fairly short book in the Bible, take some time to read it, it is a great love story.  Oh that we all could love like the Shulamite woman and her lover, King Solomon.

I have nothing to share this morning... could it be the exhaustion of this week and the things happening have truly overwhelmed my mind?  Or is it that I just have nothing to talk about this morning?  Alas, you win... I will end this off for today.  Perhaps tomorrow I will have something to share.  My thoughts are about everywhere but on what to write.  So until tomorrow, be a blessing to someone.

Blessings!

Quiet....kind of too quiet....

Well, I just erased what I had written.  Not that it was bad... but it was whiney.  So lucky you, I re-read it and deleted it.   I'd rather whine about I'm tired. My eyes hurt. My head hurts.  But on a positive note I will get all better once I start moving around this morning.  

Not a whole lot on the agenda for today - just like I like it.  I may even go to the gym with hubby today, for it will be quiet enough I can get away for an hour.  With my male boss still out of town, and my favorite boss with very few meetings today (she also will be taking a walk during the day), we will talk early this morning and wish each other a great weekend - and then we are done pretty much for the day.  I just might get some things done here at home today.  Or not.

I was pretty worn out by last night.  Not sure what is causing my extreme tiredness.  Yes I am older, but I don't know if that is the reason.  I do work out, and I 'try' to eat healthy (and will eat more healthy once these cookies are out of the cookie jar!  Only a few left!).  But I have noticed the past couple of weeks that come Thursday evening, I'm pooped!  Can barely stay awake.  And I sleep pretty much all night.  And I wake up still sleepy.  Why is that?  I've probably been eating way too much sugary things, for part of it.  Cookies are my downfall.  They fit right in to my hand; and in to my mouth.  And they taste so good. Especially when I make them.  Yeah, think I'll have another snickerdoodle for breakfast. :)

I got a text from my older brother yesterday that his oldest son had another heart attack.  My brother had been up in Michigan for a few days to check on him.  He was pretty tired last night and kept saying 'there is more to tell....." so I finally told him (as it was after 11PM his time) to just wait and fill me in this morning on what is going on.  In the meantime, I would be praying for his son.  Haven't told my kids yet (although my son will read it here).... and will let all know once I hear from my brother what is going on. 

Which is another reason I want my boys especially to see a cardiologist.  Heart disease runs in the male side of my family.  All of my brothers have had heart issues; my oldest brother passing from heart failure/heart attack.  My other two brothers have both had heart caths and stents done; one pro-active, the other as it happens.   I had an uncle I was close to have a heart attack as he was mowing his grass.... one week after he retired at 65.  My boys need to be checked out, but only they can take that step.  LOL  They both just got past having a colonoscopy so I guess that they will get an EKG and EEG done when they feel like it.  I just hope they don't wait too long to have it monitored.  I don't know that I could bear it.  Losing a brother is hard; losing a son would be more than I could handle.  I don't know how my mother did it; she lost her oldest and her youngest before she passed.

I guess I am really running late this morning in writing in here - it's 7AM already and I haven't written much at all!  Lucky you!    Stopped to check work emails and there was one wanting availability on my favorite boss so I let them know it's available for them.  See how nice I am?  I moved a meeting so that they could meet.  That's why everyone likes me. LOL  Rarely do I tell them absolutely not, that I can't move a meeting.

Ephesians 6:10-11 (NKJV)  Finally my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

Some days I think I 'forget' to put on the whole armor of God cause I do get in a lot of trouble!  Either by my mouth or by my actions - or non actions!  When we put on the armor of God, we can stand up against the things of this world that come against us.  Against the words spoken that are not true against us, against the actions of others who try to hurt us.  We are better WITH God, then we are WITHOUT Him!!  When I put on my armor each morning, the words spoken at me don't cause me alarm; the actions taken by others doesn't beat me up; they fall off the armor.  Why?  Because when I am wearing His armor, He protects me.  God fights my battles for me.  He can knock someone off their high horse just be glancing at them.  

And yeah, I probably have been knocked off mine a few times when I am the one saying or doing things - albeit they aren't 'evil'.... but things I should keep OUT of my mind and not let come out of my mouth!  Especially when a negative thought comes to mind about someone and I just have to say it.. I shouldn't.  UGH.  Life is hard, isn't it?  Doesn't everyone need to know what I think about people?  True, I'm not perfect either, a long ways from it.  So, with that, I guess I need to just keep that mouth of mine shut, huh!

And....since it is after 7AM I need to get off here and get on the computer.  Probably wouldn't hurt if I got out of my pajamas and got dressed too.  I'm usually dressed by now.  Hmmm wonder what distracted me so much that I'm running behind.  Oh ... I went through the message for Sunday - that threw my schedule off.  Now I know.  

We're one day closer to the weekend!  Whoo Hoo!  Hope you will have a great day.

Blessings!

Yes, I know I'm late....but here it is

 I got up at 3AM this morning to do my time with 'We Pray All Day' - which is a group of people all over the valley who schedule an hour to pray (our church does twice a month) for lots of things.  It was a real struggle to get up because we didn't get to bed until nearly 10PM last night.  And, it was a struggle to keep awake, but I did. But at 4AM and I climbed in my chair and curled up in it for my readings.... I started dozing.  And I have dozed off and on ever since.  I'm still really sleepy, but here it is time for me to 'get to work'.  And I haven't written in here.  I knew someone would keep checking - and I might even get a text about it - so thought I'd go ahead and write. :-)  Albeit will be short.

Yesterday was another busy, stressful day but I got through it.  Then I had my hour session at the gym - and my body is telling me I worked out.  From there it was on to church for prayer meeting.  Back home we sat down for a bit... I did the scroll and Facebook; hubby fell asleep in his chair.... which is why it was 9:45PM before I realized it .... and that is why I try to stay off Facebook entirely.  I waste too much time looking at things that have nothing to do with me.

Not sure yet what today will look like for work; I know I have several emails showing and I did see I had a couple tasks to take care of.  Oh well.  It is what it is.  One day at a time, right?

Psalm 139: 23-24 (NKJV):  Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

At one time I had memorized Psalm 139 but most of it escapes me now.  But this is one of the scriptures that I do remember and I pray it frequently.   Sometimes we need to pause in our life and ask God to search our hearts to make sure we are on the right path, the one that He wants us to be walking on.  Sometimes it is so easy to stray and just go a little off.... and when we ask God, He will reveal to us if we perhaps spoke a cross word to someone and need to apologize; did something we shouldn't have done; ignored someone instead of embracing them.... we all do them.  It helps when we ask God to keep us on His path.  He knows us better than we know ourselves.  Even in my stressful days and I cry out 'Lord HELP', he gives me calmness and peace.  Hallelujah!

There is another one I pray even more frequently.  But it's from Psalm 51.  Maybe I'll share my thoughts on it tomorrow.  Today I need to keep this short and get on the computer for work.  It's up and ready for me to work.... I just haven't got over there yet.

Tonight we take the grandson out to dinner for his birthday.  Looking forward to hanging out with him, even if it is just for an hour or so.  I love ALL my grandchildren.  Which reminds me, a granddaughter has set up a messenger for kids account for our great-granddaughter.  So looking forward to occasionally chatting with her.  I bet her grandma will be doing it daily!  LOL  I would be!  I love keeping in touch with my grandchildren - great-grandchildren are just a bonus from God. 

And with that -sorry this is so short - but I got to get to work.  Duty calls, ya know.  So with that - have a blessed day!

Blessings!

Thoughts going through my mind....

 I don't know what is going on with me this morning.... I am so tired ... I'm thinking my Wednesday pill is doing it this time, although it hasn't done it for awhile.  Yesterday was a busy work day, but still.  I got up, reluctantly, at 4AM this morning and even in trying to read my Bible this morning, the eyes kept shutting.  I just feel exhausted.  Probably because all that exercise I have done in my head all week that has not materialized on the outside of the body.  So here it is nearly 6:30AM and I still haven't done much reading, let alone write in here.  I usually start this around 6AM, if not earlier.  Just not motivated today.

Had lunch with my friend yesterday and it was a good time.  I've got it on my calendar to do this once a month so that we can keep in better touch.  She's still struggling since the loss of her husband last November.  It took her a week to clean out his work shed... I think she said he had 17 different size screw drivers!  And she threw out 5 bags of 'trash' - don't know what all was in that.  Guess she is going to put his tools in a yard sale at her sister's house.  One thing for sure, I don't need to get hubby any.  His tools could rust out before he would use them.  And that's all I'll say about that!

Taking off work early today to get my nails done, although I keep flip flopping about cancelling.  It would be nice to have my nails looking decent for a change.  With not working in the office I haven't been worried about it at all... but I do need to start taking better care of myself.  And no, I'm not thinking about getting my hair done just yet.  Stubbornness?  Maybe.  I hadn't been thinking of getting it done before the check.  Not thinking about it now either. :-)  

I have ten minutes before I need to stop and get dressed, turn the work computer on, and I'm drawing a blank as to what to write.  Even no scriptures come to mind.  What's up with that?  Am I really that tired? I went to bed maybe at 9PM...  I was skimming Instagram, which I generally try not to do, last night and saw all the postings about the revival happening at Asbury University in Kentucky.  It was in it's 8th day of continuous worship and praise.  

Wouldn't it be awesome if revival spread like it did in the early 1900's?  Our country could use a revival, for sure!  So many have turned away from God and all that He has for them.  So many have chosen their own path instead of letting God lead them.  I feel that much of it started in my generation, although there are many of us still worshipping God and following Him.  But for some reason, the generation after mine, and the generations after them, have forsaken God.

Even of my grandchildren who were raised in the church and I truly believed they would remain in Christ, have stepped away from the church, and from God.  They don't even think about Him anymore, and it grieves my heart.  My family needs a revival happening - which means I need to be on my face praying and fasting for them.  

Psalm 42:1-2 (NIV):  "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?"

I pray that your heart will begin to thirst for God and to know Him as Lord. Turn your eyes to Jesus, for He alone is the author and perfecter of your faith. He alone is your strength and shield, to Him alone, let your spirit yield. Let Jesus be your heart's desire. May your heart long to worship Him alone.

Blessings!

Crash and burn time?

 Yesterday was sorta boring, sorta busy, mostly not busy/boring. I even took a short nap in the middle of the day as my cold seems to be making itself known again.  I worked on the message last night for Sunday and have the first draft of it completed.  That's the hard part; going through it and cleaning it up, correcting spelling, etc., is the easy part.  I took Musinex DM and went to bed around 9PM.  I tossed and turned most of the night, waking up, if felt, every hour on the hour.  Could not shut the mind down, even though nothing was swirling in there.  I finally arose at the usual 4AM and tried to go back to sleep here in my chair, only I remembered my pill and I have to sit upright for 30 minutes.  Hubby brought in my coffee.  I'm still trying to sleep.  I read some in my Bible and devotional... then tried to sleep some more.  The body was just not cooperating with trying to stay awake.  Finally, a little after 6AM, I determined I needed to 'get it together', drink my coffee to help wake myself up, and get on here.  I've been listening to it rain all morning and now my head hurts.  Grumpy, aren't I!  

I've 'wasted' my quiet time morning by trying to sleep, although I have read my Bible some and all... but I am feeling just so tired.  Perhaps it is 'crash and burn' from the weekend?  All the things I did leading up to it?  I cooked more, and did more, the entire weekend than I normally do in a month.  I enjoyed every minute of it, but I think it is just movement I am not used to.  I mean, getting up, sitting in my chair in here for a couple hours, moving to the desk chair, sitting there nearly 9 hours, then grabbing a quick bite and back the couch for the rest of the evening.  Not much exercise at all.  And I need to get on it -the exercise part.  I am getting old before I need to get old - know what I mean?

Hubby didn't help much yesterday.  I had a big piece of leftover eggs ole' for breakfast around 8AM.  He went to breakfast with a friend.  On his way back, he thought he'd be nice and stopped at Whataburger and got my #7 - but why does he buy me the chocolate shake?  He is the one who always drinks the shake... I need my diet coke!  A large portion of my shake is in the refrigerator... I wasn't hungry when he brought the food (and he got irritated when I couldn't eat everything) and I wasn't hungry last night - although I did fix about a cup of garbage of me... it's always about food for him... when it is time to fast this next month, he isn't going to have a good time, that's for sure.

Our fasting time... we were going to start January 1 since we have no plans for the day other than church, but since Free Chapel is starting on January 8, we decided to start then as well because we still have food and things I need to go through in the refrigerator.  Will see.  I told hubby I wanted to do the Daniel Fast, and he reluctantly told me the other night he will do what I plan to do.  (wanna bet?)  I plan to have fruits and vegetables... we have lots of veggies in the freezer and orange and grapefruit trees outside- plus strawberries in the freezer, etc.  I'm not saying it will be easy, but fasting for a reason is not to be easy, it is to be meaningful.  And it's 'only' for three weeks. I love my salads but need to use lemon juice instead of dressing.  Not a big deal.  And just garden salads.  See - it's not that bad. Maybe I can clear my head.  And I can still have potatoes... just without all the butter and sour cream. Oh well, that's just calories anyway, right?  But so good!

Speaking of, hubby's breakfast buddy told him yesterday of some research he did on helping him think more clearly.... he's the one who has Alzheimers and was taking handfulls of pills to counteract it - he has quit taking them and is reevaluating many others.  Anyway, I read  up on the two bottles last night - and bought some via Amazon.  I definitely need something to clear my brain fog sometimes and so does hubby.  I'll give up the overpriced prevagen that doesn't seem like it's working anyway.  Although a pharma friend said it was the best thing out there.  I'll have to present this information and have him research it.

I'm meeting one of my friends for lunch at Olive Garden today - yeah - salad, breadsticks, and pasta e fagioli is on my agenda for today.  Need to clear my head and get moving.  With the rain, part of me is hoping she will cancel... but she is only working from home this week so I imagine it will happen.  Oh well.  It's not too far for me to drive, and since I want to make chili tonight with hamburger I cooked up last night... I need to stop at Frys' too and pick up some red beans.  I'm pretty sure I have another can of tomato juice, which is good, but need the beans - and of course, cook up some pasta!  It's a 'midwest thing' and I love it.

I don't have anything in my mind today with trying to sleep so much of the time away this morning.... my apology for that.  I know I'm rambling... maybe those pills would do me some good and help me to be alert and focus better.  I'm willing to try!  

Hope you have recovered from Christmas activities and are getting the rest you need.  I am determined to get my body moving to make it feel better... if only this stupid cold will vanish completely, including the headache.  No, I didn't have COVID... just a stupid cold that the cough lingers forever.

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

A tough morning, indeed!

 Last night we watched a movie that my youngest son suggested.  Greater.  It's a true story about the life of Burt Burlsworth.  I think that was his name.  Excellent movie.  And yes, I cried at the end of it like a baby.  If you can watch it and not cry or even water up, let me know and I'll give you $5 - cause you can't.  I hadn't heard of this guy so googled him to see who he was.   Greater.  On Netflix.  Watch it.

This morning has been tough thus far.  I cannot stay awake!  We went to bed around 9-ish I think... well after the Suns won.  I went to sleep fairly quick.  I slept until 2:50AM and then went back to sleep.  Somehow I turned off my alarm for 4AM but the one (Fitbit alarms) for 4:15AM was still set.  Hubby reached over to see if I was still in bed at 4:11AM and it woke me up so I got up.  I read my devotional and Bible.... then fell asleep and started dreaming these really stupid things - like Sheeba pushing her blankets under this door and when I looked, the door was half eaten away (she doesn't chew on doors or furniture).  Then I was at a meeting and I couldn't get my eyes open to be 'at' the meeting and kept bumping into people so I pretended that I had something in my eye and couldn't open them.  Stupid, huh?  I have no idea what was going on in my mind or in my body that I just couldn't get them open.  I had to struggle just now at 5:30AM to get them open so that I could work on this.  Hopefully I will be awake enough after I write this that I can do a bit more reading in one of my books.  I WAS extremely exhausted last night - but it was because I didn't do anything all day.

Well, I DID work out with my weights here at home for about 20 minutes, but is was more of a mental/physical exhaustion.  Not from anything I did.  I think I was sunk in depression too, which never helps when I allow myself to get there.  Hubby even asked if I wanted to go to the gym and I just couldn't. Of course it is my fault that he didn't go either. "It's up to you.  Why don't you want to go?"  I was tired.  I didn't feel like going.  I just wanted to take a nap.  (I had already taken two short naps during the day). I had a headache.  I sure hope I get some energy going today.  Got to keep moving.  

With runaway dreams like those this morning, I'm afraid to let myself fall back to sleep even for a few minutes! I may need a second cup of coffee today.

I have really been toying with taking tomorrow off work.  No reason to, really, but I do have some things I want to do around here.  But I struggle in getting them done as I seem to be dealing in constant interruptions - and it doesn't matter if I am in my quiet time or working.  It is unsettling to have someone stand in the door until you look at them and ask what they want and it is something that they just want to tell you or ask you that doesn't mean a hill of beans.  It usually leaves me frustrated and distracted and I have to figure out where I was at.  Or I'm 'caught' looking at my phone during the day and a conversation has to be started.... it's ok I look at my phone and it doesn't matter if I'm talking to someone (who?) or just reading facebook or whatever.  I'm taking a moment to refocus.  Sheeba was in several times yesterday too, wanting me to play.  I don't dare shut my door unless I'm in a meeting... and then it's what was the meeting about, who was in it, what were they talking about.... questions, questions, questions!  And I don't want to answer!

See, I told you it was a tough morning!  I think I'm finally starting to wake up; my coffee is about gone and my L-Tyrosine is kicking in.  I think a lot is just life depression.  We all get it at some times, I think. We're tired mentally and physically, even though we may not have done anything.  It's just life and the things that happen in it.  Same o Same o just doesn't cut it.  Sometimes we need to change things up.  I need - desperately need - alone time, I think.  Time in which I can sleep as long and as late as I want without someone waking me up.  Time in which I can read a whole book in one setting if I want.  Time in which I can just be quiet before God and let Him speak to me, instead of me telling Him all the time what I want and not waiting but a few minutes for Him to respond.  

I'm tired.  Part is I need to change my eating habits because I've let them slip again and I'm eating the wrong foods which weary me, instead of building up my strength and endurance.  I actually threw away a 1/2 gallon of ice cream in which only a couple servings were taken out of.  We ate the last pizza in the freezer last night.  I need to get the toxic stuff out of my body and mind and get healthy again.  Did you know there are foods that cause inflammation within your body and keeps you sore and tired and makes your joints hurt all the time?  I was looking some up yesterday.... some include pastas, and of course, fried foods.  We finished off Church's chicken yesterday at noon.  sigh. It all tastes so good.  Good food does too.... I just need to fix it.

Ok.  Beginning today.  I simply must eat right.  I can't live in depression and toxic foods.  I refuse to.  And the only one who can change it, is me.   I have to cook better.  I have to shop better for the right foods.  Eat more fruits and vegetables.  "If it's to be, it's up to me."  

What about you?  How's your morning going?  Perky and ready to start the day?  Good for you!  But if you are like me this morning, difficulty staying awake, feeling very tired - perhaps you need to reevaluate what you are putting in your body and make some changes in your habits as well.

God wants us healthy and strong.  He created good food for us to eat.  He didn't create processed food - that's man-made.  And it's destroying our bodies.  Eat more fruit.  Eat more vegetables.  And eat more meat that is healthy for you.  You'll find you will have lots more energy and the hurting joints will soon disappear.

I've actually read stories of people who have changed their eating habits and not only lost weight, but got rid of walkers, canes, and other things they held on to because they were in such pain and needed assistance.  I've heard of neuropathy leaving backs/legs because eating habits were made better.  It has been said that we are allowing food to control our bodies, and I - especially what I'm feeling this morning - believe it!  

Let's fight the right battles - and get our bodies healthy and strong again!  I'm ready - are you?  Are you in it with me?

Go get em!    Bless your body... you will be glad you did.