and yet, I can realize how true that interesting thought was. I'm going to share it, because it may affect you as well. It took a few days of really feeling worn out; of a day of standing most of the day yesterday with baking cookies; of feeling stiffness getting down on the floor to play with great-granddaughter; of choosing to sit in a chair instead..... and then in the middle of the night..... it hit me. Perhaps it will 'hit' you as well.
Yes, I work out. Work out the entire body, in fact. I'm pretty strong, even with working out only two 30 minute segments a week. But that's it. And I realize now - that is not enough. What a typical day for me looks like now is get up, come in here and sit for 2-3 hours reading my Bible, any other book, writing in a journal (on occasion), praying, and continuously sitting in a chair (or reclining) while I type in here. Then I get up and get dressed (sometimes) and then come back in and sit at the work desk, and sitting at my desk at least 90% of my work day... sitting..... Then twice a week, I would head to the gym at some point for a great workout. And come home, (or stop to eat out), cook dinner, sit, and come sit on the couch and sit for the rest of the evening.
You know where this is going, don't you? The very things I have complained for years about hubby, I have been doing. Sitting. Granted, there is nothing wrong with sitting - IF you are also getting movement at other times. Yes, yesterday I baked some scones, made pumpkin raisin cookies. My granddaughter and great-granddaughter came over to bake and I was on my feet most of the time for that. My legs were sore last night- which is why I had this thought in the middle of the night. My laziness - even with working out twice a week - is showing up big time. And now I need to make the decision to 'fight' it.
I don't want to hurt every time I want to get down on the floor. I don't want to grunt every time I get up out of a chair (you know you do it too!!). I may be 76 years old, but I do not want to act old. Does that make sense? I loved my mother, but I do not want to become my mother, in which she just sat in a chair at the kitchen table, waiting for someone to come visit her. She only went somewhere when someone took her, and it was always with great effort.
And now that I've finished the last package of donuts I had in the house as I write all this, I'm going to change. (Had to get rid of them; couldn't have them sitting around to tempt me, right?) Instead of sitting at my desk working all day, I NEED to make myself get up and talk about the house or do a quick walk down to the end of the block and back. Or even get on the trampoline or treadmill for even ten minutes, just to keep moving. I cannot allow myself to become immovable because I'm too busy (or too lazy) to get up and take a break walk. Does that make sense?
I think it is because I 'saw' and 'felt' it in my body yesterday that in the middle of the night it came to me that I feel it more this year because I am not as active as I have been in previous years. 2026 is the year things will come to change. I hope to start it now, but, knowing me, it will be a work in progress to work up to it. I know I will need to explain to hubby and he will want to 'do whatever I do' with me... he just doesn't get it. He should do it for himself, not do it to be with me. His clinging is getting worse and causes me to withdraw from activity because I can't do it on my own. UGH. I have to get over myself and my desire to 'do it all by myself' and allow him to help me.
Yesterday, he comes into MY kitchen (to which I've asked him numerous times over the years the kitchen was off limits when I'm cooking) and he asks, "can I help you do dishes?" I had already washed my dishes and put them away. He did that twice! I get his wanting to help (we had had an earlier 'discussion' with his comment "I'm part of this family too!!" over helping with dishes or cooking. Sigh. I understand his feeling, I truly do. But it's too late. I want to do it by myself.
After baking, and my grand and great granddaughters left, my mixing bowl was left in the sink and I decided to do something for my daughter. The thought had occurred to me the night before, that I need to massage and polish my daughter's toes/feet and fingers/hand. So I grabbed my red and silver sparkle polish, castor oil to rub on her feet, lotion for her hands, and off I went. She was surprised to see me as we hadn't talked during the day. But she was excited to have her feet massaged and toes polished, and her hands and fingernails as well. I am definitely not a professional, and made a mess on her thumb, but still, she was happy to get the massage if not a little color. When I got home, hubby informed me he had washed the dishes I had left in the sink, and those that I had already washed, he had dried and put away. He got to do it anyway. :-) And, yes, I thanked him for doing it.
I saw a person coming in to pick up the trash and was wearing Hoka shoes. I asked him if he liked them (surprise! I don't have a pair, although my brother recommends them!) and along with saying 'yes' about the shoes, he began to tell me about the insert that he wears (power-something, I think) which I don't remember now, but he said he also has plantar fasciitis (as I have had) and it really helps his feet. And then I noticed even more how much my feet hurt because they didn't have the support they need (I have a high arch) in my shoe. So, yes, I went to Amazon last night and ordered myself a pair (about $36-$40) of inserts to put in my tennis shoes to get the support on my feet - which will stop the pain in my legs. Maybe it's something you need to look into? I've bought from a podiatrist when first diagnosed with plantar fasciitis but I think I've worn those out. I have also used Dr. Scholls - but I don't feel I got the results I was seeking. So I'm willing to spend the $40 to see if these will work. Stay tuned. Or remind me a month from now if they are working as I wear my tennis shoes nearly 5-6 days a week now.
I am working today, but plan to take off early if work allows. I need to make myself do some workout - upper body today - either at the gym or back in my 'exercise room'. I am pretty sure hubby will push on me to go to the gym with him. And I need to get over my 'fear' of going to exercise on my own. I like Morgan deciding what I'm going to do - and adjusting the seat and the weights for me. But if it gets hubby there, perhaps I need to encourage that.
Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV): Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gently and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
I know that the majority of my 'complaint' of tiredness and soreness is my lack of activity, but it also had to do with my eating habits. Donuts for breakfast just don't cut it. Chocolate to get me through the day, doesn't have what my body needs to retain strength and energy. Skipping meals doesn't even help. I need to start today, and not put off until the January 1 date. I can say 'no'. It's just harder to say 'no' to myself when it's screaming 'more! more!'. You know what I'm talking about. It's drawing the line and saying 'enough!". I need to change my behavior, and my eating habits, to regain strength and energy. Not something I WANT to do, and yet, it is. I NEED to do it as well, if I care anything about my body. And if I'm eating better, and getting movement in my body, it enhances the clarity of my mind where I can think clearly and get things accomplished. It's a win-win - right? How bad do I want it? How bad do you want it?
And with that, I guess I need to get off here. I have some time left and I think I need to just be still and be quiet for a bit. Maybe think about another dream I had which was a good one. And I'll leave that there. Sometimes it's nice to have a dream to hold in your heart.
Blessings!
