I think the past few weeks with work have been so stressful they have worn me out! This morning all I have wanted to do is sleep! Grateful this is Friday! We went to bed at our usual 8:30PM last night and I slept well, I think, but this morning I just can't keep the eyes open. I know I have gone back to sleep a few times - it is what it is. Some days are just like that, as you know.
Tonight is the women's conference at our 'main' church and my daughter is going with me. We had originally planned on going on to a hotel for the night, just to relax afterwards and just have a night totally to ourselves. But, knowing that she and her hubby were heading to New Mexico Saturday morning as soon as she returned, I offered to cancel the hotel so that they could get an early start. And I'm ok with that. We'll have dinner together tonight, go to the conference, and then we'll sleep in our own beds. I'm thinking hubby is happy he won't be left alone tonight, although he could have watched all the shows he wanted without me here. He just doesn't like being alone. And being with someone all the time, I love being alone sometimes! LOL
Hubby kind of 'pushed' on me yesterday morning and came to the doorway to say, "why don't you go to the gym with me after work tonight and we both can ride the bikes (or I can walk the treadmill)." I knew better than say "no", or even "maybe". So I just said "ok". He walked away happy. And I would have gone, but I was so tired last night that I came out of the room, sat on the couch and told him to give me time for a short nap. So he comments back "You are too tired to go so we won't go." And we didn't. He watched the news and then asked if I wanted to watch a movie (no), or did I want him to just turn the TV off (yes). I crochet'd some, listened to audible, and he played with his phone for the evening. He plans to go ride the bike at the gym after his bible study this morning. He just doesn't always get that although I sit at the desk all day, it is still stressful and exhausts me some days. I know I'm getting older and I know I need to shake this heaviness for I will be working until I die, I think. It's probably more depression because ... well, I'm not going to go there. But, I am healthy, I think, and I am going to drop this weight (if I can just quit eating things I shouldn't - or eat less of them!) and continue to work out and get this body strong and healthy. I just need space to breathe some, I think. Is this another stage of life? And I'm rambling.
Philemon 1:4 (NKJV): I thank my God, making mention of you always in my prayers.
When you pray, who do you pray for? Are your prayers more of "God, take care of this situation" or "Lord, I don't know how to pay this bill, will You provide the money"? (I've prayed that many times before!) What do you pray for? Who do you pray for? Does your spouse know that you whisper prayers for them? Not that they will do your bidding, but that they will be able to handle whatever comes during the day, that if they aren't well, that His hand will be upon them and give them the strength and the healing that they need? Are your (our) prayers all about us and what we want? Are we so self-centered that it's all about us?
When I pray, I not only pray for hubby, for long life and health (and for me to deal with issues), but I pray for his safety (and for those who surround him). I pray for each of my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren by name. If I know of any issues, I pray for those. If I don't know what's going on in their lives, I just pray over them that they will have a good day and will feel the tug of God upon their hearts to turn to Him for any needs. I pray for joy, for happiness, for peace. I pray for each of my siblings and their spouses, and if I know of any issues, I pray for those. Yeah, I can't do every one every day, for obviously my time in here in the mornings isn't that long, but on the weekends I can add a bunch of others because I have the time to spend just sitting before the Lord and asking for His intervention. And I pray whenever God brings one to mind. Even something that triggers a thought about someone, I know that is the Holy Spirit asking me to pray, for there is always something that I'm not aware of.
I just remembered one of my boys asking me (years ago), did I pray for them... and I said yes... and he mentioned something he had been involved in (I don't remember all the particulars) but he knew it had to be prayers over him that got him out of it. Now mind you, I don't always get what I pray for, regardless of what my daughter says! She has always said I have a 'direct prayer line' to God - but I don't. He doesn't always give me all that I ask for. Many times, I have been disappointed in unanswered prayers. But the point is, I'm not in charge. He is. And when I bring my petitions and requests to Him, He knows what each one needs. He knows more than I what is going on in each person's life.
My 'job' is to pray and present my petitions and requests to the only One who can answer them.
That's it. I am to pray. Whether God answers my requests the way I want Him to, depends on if I am praying according to His will. Am I free of sin in my life that He will hear my prayers. If I have done something and haven't confessed it, I know that God will not listen to my prayers. They hit the ceiling. But when I confess my sin(s) and ask for His forgiveness, I know that He listens to every word I say.
There are people who pray and pray and pray (or say they do) and they don't see any changes; they don't feel they are getting answers. All they need to do is look at their lives and see why they aren't getting answers. I'm not being judgmental; I just shared above that sometimes God doesn't hear my prayers if I'm holding back on a confession.
And, it doesn't matter if I am right in a situation, sometimes I need to talk with God about it and ask if I could have handled it differently; did I sin in the words I used; and I need to confess any anger or frustration that I felt. And most of all, I need to put it in His hands and ask Him to bless and take care of whatever it is. Sometimes that is all we need to do.
Give it to God and let Him handle it. You have heard the saying "Give it to God and let it go". When you know you can't fix something, it is truly much easier to give it to Him and let Him take care of it. Trust me, I have to do this all the time!
As you know, I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, I do stupid things, and I say things that I shouldn't at times. Do I regret it? Sure I do. Do I have to confess it to Jesus (and sometimes go to the person I said it to and ask forgiveness for saying it) and ask His forgiveness? Sure I do.
And that is something I have never regretted. Confessing to Jesus is a cleansing of the soul. When you confess and ask forgiveness, you receive such peace that you wonder what took so long (other than your pride holding you back) to talk to Jesus about it. He's not going to run to someone and tell them your secrets. He already knows them.
Why not take a few minutes this morning and just have a general conversation with Jesus? Did you know that Jesus is always sitting next to you, waiting for you to acknowledge Him? He is your best friend. He keeps all your secrets. He is always waiting for you to open up and talk to Him about your problems. He already knows them, and when you talk about them, sometimes you will get the answer you are looking for.
Talk to Jesus about your health. He may give you insight on how to make it better. Talk to Jesus about your spouse. Talk to Jesus about your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren. Talk to Him about your finances, your job; all the things that trouble you. Quit dealing with it on your own; He knows about it already, why not ask Jesus what to do about it?
And with that, I'm going to take a few more minutes and just sit in His presence and be still.
Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God.
Blessings!
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