I.am.overwhelmed.

 Yesterday I sat down and took the time to review all that I have to do through the end of the year. I am overwhelmed and last night was falling into a deep depression.  I'm ok today, I think, but I feel I am out of control.  Some of it is work-related; some is personal related.  I want to run away by myself and be alone. I have something going either at work or in personal life going nearly every week for the next two months.  I don't know when I can fit in the things I love to do (baking with grandchildren and great-grandchildren and working on my own Christmas things) because of the other things I have on the calendar.  I'm overwhelmed.  I won't share it ... it's my own doing.  I've got to draw the line and do some things, and I don't know even what I can do and get out of.  I don't want to take away the things I enjoy doing; I have several Christmas projects I want to complete yet and I am unfortunately sure that I won't get them all done - and that disappoints me.  Which doesn't help my heavy heart.  I've got to come out of this.  It's another reaction to the bed bug bites, right?  This broken heart syndrome and heaviness of life? I can't do this; it's killing me.  Lord, please help.

Psalm 61:2-4 (NKJV):  From the end of the earth I will cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.  For You have been a shelter for me, a strong tower from the enemy. I will abide in your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.  Selah.

There is only one place that I can run to - and that is to my Lord.  He is the only One who can rescue me from the pits I have fallen into.  Help me not to set up housekeeping, Lord!  Open the windows and let Your light come in.  I am so burdened with 'things' and 'situations' and I am helpless on my own to do anything.  So I turn to You, Father, and ask Your intervention in these things.  Look down upon me, O God, and see my troubled heart.  Take away the things that distract me from You.  My tears fall unbidden, Lord, and I have no place else to turn.  Hold me, Jesus.  Help me overcome what is burdening my heart. Only You can, Lord.  

Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed with life?  With your job? With your personal life? With family issues? With stress? With - well, with anything?  Sometimes we don't know how to break it apart and look at things differently.  But God always can help us see - but sometimes we only need to see one day, one situation, one problem, at a time.  

And the main thing - really, the only thing - that we can do is trust God that He will work all things out for my good.  His Word says so.

Romans 8:28 (NKJV): And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.

I can trust in what the next two months hold because I know that whatever is before me, God has gone there before and knows what is ahead.  He always sees the big picture and even in my wildest imagination of things happening or going wrong, He can turn them around and none of it happen. My God can bring good out of all things.  I just need to let the things that trouble me go and give them to Him, and surrender that situation, that problem that looms in my mind, and let it go.  The heaviness will lift; the overwhelmed feeling I feel will dissipate; and I will be filled with peace and joy in His presence. I know it.  It's just hard not to keep thinking about what is ahead.  Lord, help me to let it go.  For Your glory alone, Lord, for Your glory alone.

Sorry about this - my heart is heavy this morning. I'm 'feeling my age', perhaps.  I feel every bit of life has been sucked out of me.  I know that is not true.  I do have joy in the midst of my pain. My joy cometh from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.  

Been thinking about getting a KJV bible to read for 2025.  I see Amazon has one on sale for about $23.  I put it in my cart and then take it out.  I don't really need another bible, do I?  I have one KJV but it is a small one from my uncle Win many years ago.  This one is larger and easier to read.  I have an NIV I haven't read through yet; but something keeps holding me back from reading it.  Perhaps I am to give it to someone, and that is why.  I don't know.  I keep reading my NKJV and I love it.  But I grew up on the KJV so I have a fondness for it as well.  And now I'm rambling.

Hubby is getting ready to head off to his bible study and I will be turning the work computer on shortly.

This, too, shall pass.  My mama always said so.  And mama was usually always right.

Pray for me as I pray for you.  I will be ok.  God will take care of all things.  See, you are never alone when you think you are.  God is always there.  And sometimes a friend is.

Blessings!

Overwhelmed is a good word

 for what I have been feeling with work lately, and unfortunately, it isn't going to get much better any time soon! It seemed I got 'hit' with one thing after another yesterday to do.  I usually skim emails before I turn off the work computer, but I didn't even bother yesterday, for I knew there were still some things to do that I didn't get done.  And throw in travel for one of my bosses, which also means a hotel stay and a rental car.... and all that has to be approved BEFORE I can make the reservations... yeah, I was feeling pretty overwhelmed.  But, today is a new day and I'm going to face it with a fresh outlook.  I will review the old emails first to see what I didn't get done yesterday, and then start on todays.  I'm more concerned over what the next two months will be like as I will also be covering for my friend who is having back surgery - and when she asked and I said ok, I was thinking her one doctor she reports to.  But, she supports 7. Or is it 8.  And, she has roped me in to a couple meetings that require minutes, plus a couple other things.  She keeps giving me access to all these team folders which I don't want.  This is definitely going to be a 'Lord, HELP' couple of months!  See, I've already started whining!  

My trainer really worked me out last night - especially on the leg press!  I was already doing 180 pounds - and what does he decide to do?  He pushes back on it while I'm pushing out!  I asked him just what did he think he was doing?  He laughed and told me to keep pushing.  I can tell already my legs are going to be sore somewhat today.  But, I do need to get more exercise than I am getting.  Two 30 minute sessions a week just don't cut it to make changes - well, real changes, anyway.  It takes effort.  To change how this body performs I must put forth the effort to keep it strong and healthy. 

Just like our minds - if we don't put good stuff in it - we will soon falter and not understand things.  Now these words are just my opinion, so don't go quoting me and getting me in trouble.  I do not need anyone's help to do that, I can do that very well on my own.  BUT - I feel that if all one does is sit and watch TV shows, or play games on TV, they will lose the ability to socialize with others.  They won't have anything to talk about except the TV show.  Does that make sense?  

Now hubby and I both read books; granted he reads other books as well as Christian books.  We both enjoy reading, myself moreso than him, I think.  My daughter used to read, but no one reads as much as my oldest son does.  And I like to think that he got that from me.  My mama read a lot too - mainly Grace Livingston Hill books - and in that time frame, I read every single one of her books.  I enjoyed the clean romance of the stories.  In high school I read mysteries and a couple other fiction books that I recall.  I just love to read and that is how I will be spending my retirement years - reading. :-)  Like that will happen any time soon. So I read when I can.

Romans 13:8 (NKJV):  Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

One could read that scripture and think it means don't owe them any money, but if you read on in the scriptures following it means more than that.

Romans 13:9-10 (NKJV): For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery", "You shalt not commit murder", "You shall not steal", "You shall not bear false witness", "You shall not covet", and if there is any other commandment,  are all summed up in this saying, namely, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself".  Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.

We are called to love others.  And, sometimes that love has to be from a distance.  And I think I will leave that right there.

I was shocked to read last night that a megachurch had a men's conference - and in that conference the lead pastor of that church had a male pole dancer.  He was called out by Pastor Mark Driscoll (the pastor was), and Dr Driscoll was told he was dismissed.  Who in their right mind would hire a pole dancer for a bunch of Christian men at a men's conference?  It has been interesting the comments that were left.  Some say the rebuke should have been done privately.  (To me, that makes no sense for then the men would never know it was wrong) Others say that Dr. Driscoll was right in calling out the pastor - and I agree with that.  As Christians we are to stand guard over what is right and when we see what is wrong and against the Word of God, we are called to speak up and not hide it under a rug.  Sometimes that can cause rifts, but it is always best to stand up for the Word of God and what it says.

And I will just put this here - when people do or say things that are against the Word of God, we are to call them out for their sin.  Yes, we may get their rebuke, but it is because they do not acknowledge their own sin and they know they are guilty and will take revenge on the one calling them out.   It is so easy to fall in to the ways of the world.

Romans 12:2 (NKJV):  And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Don't be like the world and talk like the world; you are not of this world.  Don't let the world drag you down into its clutches.  Our home is in Heaven; we are not of this world.  Something to think about.

Blessings!

He really didn't say that, did he?

 Yesterday was so overwhelming at work.  I was getting work thrown at me from several different people and I admit, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Some of the things 'thrown' are big priority items that need to be done fairly soon. Most I have no clue how to complete and need to step back and look at what they are telling me to do so that I can understand.  And, I've already done praying this morning that God will enlighten my mind so that I can understand what I'm being told to do.

I sorta complained to one of the culprits and I couldn't believe what he told me.  "Maybe we need to sit down and look at what your priorities are and put some on the side of the plate until you have time to do them."  WHAT?  Young whippersnapper who is into all the Windows 365 programs and all those things (and I don't have a clue for most of them and never have used them) is the CAUSE of a lot of my distress.  It really irritated me somewhat, so I emailed him back and said "ALL my work is priority and I don't need help in determining WHOSE work is priority."  He didn't respond back.  Annoying.  Yes, I was in a complaining mood yesterday.  

So today I need to step back and evaluate what needs to be done first, and complete it before tackling the other things.  It was bad enough yesterday that I did something I do not normally do.  I knew I had a pint of Schwans' Peanut Butter Waffle Cone ice cream in the freezer... and I have an 'ice cream spoon' (it says so on the spoon!) and I ate nearly the entire thing!  It was so good and I was so frustrated.  Great way to work on my weight loss, right?  And this was AFTER I went and got a massage over my lunch break.  I sent a photo of the ice cream to my one support person and wrote under it, 'this is what you are driving me to today!' - and he responded, "Ha ha".  Oh well.  Suck it up buttercup!

I am to have lunch at George's at the rec center with our neighbor diagonal from us.  Single woman.  I don't know her very well, and suggested a couple weeks ago we meet for lunch and get caught up.  I'm pretty sure she's 10+ years younger than me.  Anyway, we had scheduled lunch today and by golly, I'm going to be sure I take it too!  Work will always be here.  New friends - and old - will not.  Kind of looking forward to getting acquainted with her.  I know she has several girlfriends as she has a study group at her house occasionally.  it will be fun.

John 14:27 (NKJV):  Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

That is one of my favorite verses when I am struggling.  I know I can have peace in the midst of any storm because my Lord says He will give me His peace.  He tells me not to be upset or struggle, don't be afraid, but just to trust in Him.

And you know what?  When I relinquish 'control' over the work stuff, and ask for His intervention in it, He will always provide what I need.  When was the last time you asked God for something, and relinquished your control over making it happen?  Yes, we still need to do our part in getting things completed, but God will do His part if we ask Him.

As I typed that my thought went to many years ago when hubby was involved in a men's ministry and was gone for a night at the men's retreat.  We had very heavy bedroom furniture, but I wanted to move it.  I am not 'allowed' to move furniture.  Period.  He had told me it couldn't be moved because it was so heavy.  But I wanted it moved, and he wasn't home.  So what did I do?  I prayed and asked God to give me the strength to move the furniture.  I was able to put sliders under the heavy furniture, and with a lot of praying and asking God to give me the strength I needed to move it, He did.  Seriously.  I moved it from one wall to another.  Moved the heavy wooded dresser and chests, moved the bed.  All with God's help.  

When hubby came home the next day, he walked into the bedroom and commented on it.  He asked who came over to move the furniture.  I responded 'no one'.   Well, who moved it, he inquired.  "Me and God" is what I responded.  He didn't believe me.  He thought I had asked one of my boys to come over and help me move the furniture, but I assured him that God was in charge, and He gave me the strength to move all the furniture 'by myself'.  I don't know if he ever believed me, but I didn't care.  I know without a doubt I could not have moved any of that furniture by myself, and when I asked God to help me, He provided all the help I needed to move the furniture to where I wanted.  And it stayed in that place for several years as hubby could never move it, nor could I.

When we ask for His help, no matter how old we are, or what our weakness is, I know without a doubt that if we ask, and we believe, He will set His angels about us to help us do whatever it is.  Just like He helped me move the furniture, I know He is going to help me today to complete some of the priority items that I need to get done today.  I am confident more in His ability than I am in mine.

Do you have a story in which God helped you after you asked Him?    Sit back and think about it for a few minutes.  Where have you seen God move in your life?  Don't 'blow' me off.  Even if you didn't pray, someone was praying for you, and God answered.  Do you remember?  

God's peace is something we should never take for granted.  In the heaviest times of struggle, when all hope seems lost; when we have run as far as we can with life and feel there is nothing left; when we realize that we can do nothing more by ourselves, and that we need help; in the times of stress and heaviness..... take a moment and take a deep breath.  Breathe deep.

Then ask God to forgive you for trying to do it all by yourself, and would He please rectify this situation? Would He please give you the wisdom, knowledge, and understanding to complete the task that is before you?  Would He please provide the finances needed to fix the .....................?  Would He.....  just ask.  He is ready and willing to send His angels to help you with whatever you need.

Psalm 91:11 (NKJV):  For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways."

He's watching, He's waiting.  Don't delay.  Ask for His help just to get through today.  And do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day.

Then step back and look at how things fell into place.  They may not have ended up like we planned for them to, but He made them perfect.

Only by His hand.

Blessings!