My 'vacation time' has begun!

 It always feels different when I can sit here and look at the clock, see that it is 7AM (or thereabouts) and I'm still sitting in my chair, doing whatever I want to do.  It's not a bad feeling at all.... a grateful feeling that I can sit here and not rush to turn on the work computer for a few days.  Yesterday was busy - but not too bad.  I checked with legal about cancelling the board meeting for next week; they have not completed the wording on what to put on the cancellation - the reason why - and said I could wait until Monday when I return to work to send it out.  That took some pressure off me to get it done yesterday.  I was able to get some of the trainings completed during a lull time.  I had training at 3:30PM so just checked messages when I got back, finished those, and signed off.  And here we are today.

Today is hubby's 89th birthday.  I had already bought him two new pair of dress shoes and a pair of tennis shoes earlier in the month and told him he could wait for it or get it then - he took it then.  But then, I felt guilty this morning about not having a gift for him, so took some cash and put in a card and had it ready for him when he brought in my coffee.  Told him it's play money; get whatever he wanted, not necessarily what he needed.  He was surprised, and pleased.  I think.

Since I have a 9:30AM training, and he has a 12PM training today, we opted out of breakfast out, and may run out and do a quick lunch somewhere when he gets home.  He sorta asked, so I told him that we could plan a dinner tonight at Black Bear dinner.  The daughter is flying in this afternoon (I think she gets in at 1:45PM but will be spending the afternoon with her daughter.) so maybe about 5-6PM we can meet up.  Maybe I'll see if the youngest son and wife want to join us for lunch, and then the oldest son and wife (if she can get off work) for dinner.  Will have to figure out how to make this work.  Or not. Anyway, trying to make hubby feel celebrated.

Tomorrow we head out towards the northeast of the state and will eventually get to our airbnb by 4PM.  I am thinking we may leave about 9AM or so and then pause for breakfast some where - and do some shopping enroute to the location.  We also need to figure out meals for the two full days we are there.  We will probably eat out on the way back home on Sunday.  Yes, we are gone Thursday - Sunday.  

Hubby has gotten a 'help me, I've fallen' button to wear on his belt.  It came a couple weeks ago and he mentioned it to me the other night. We took a look at it and it was $59/month - so I said 'no' - cause we can find them less expensive elsewhere.  His insurance company had it sent to him.  But he has to pay the monthly fee to keep it activated.  He called to cancel as they were going to automatically take out the monies (I don't know why he gave them the bank info before).  They dropped the price down to $29 a month so he came and asked me.  He's really worried about falling while I am gone, not so much while I'm here.  Until I reminded him that he fell in the garage the other week and commented to me that if the cars were not in the garage, he don't think he could have gotten up.  I didn't even know he was home, being at the other end of the house.  So we agreed to the $29/month and he activated it yesterday afternoon.  I am going to put my house key in a hidden place and let the boys know while I'm gone where it is, in case he does fall and isn't hurt, but needs help getting up.  No need to call 911 unless an emergency. I think we have a key in a container on the porch, but only the fire department has access to this little box. I think it is still there; perhaps I ought to look.  Anyway, even though we have to pay for it, if he is out somewhere and falls (which has happened as well), he can get help and I will be notified. How many times have we laughed at that commercial?  It isn't quite as funny when it is you that is needing one, right?

I suppose I need to start packing today; I haven't done anything except get a bag out to put things in. I can easily put my clothes in it, but my books, this computer, etc., I will have to wait until morning, except I do need to take my things out of this room today as my daughter will be sleeping in here.  Yeah, I have things on the bed that I will need to remove as well.  Not much, but a few things.  I need to bring my things out I plan to take so that I don't rush and forget them in the morning.  Love that I get my own room at the airbnb.  Of course that is because I snore.  Sigh.  I saw on facebook that a certain type of bedspread could prevent my snoring.  It said that I snore because I am not in REM sleep.  It's on facebook - so does it make that true?  No, I didn't order it, but I did chuckle at it.  My doctor told me years ago I snored because I had gained weight.  Well, guess what. I've gained more weight since that time (about 20 years ago) and I snore louder.  Do you think there is something to that?

I Peter 5:7  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Fear of all kinds can make a mess of things, can't it?  We want to overcome our fear - of whatever it is - but we find ourselves still hanging on, as if that can make any difference.  Fear strangles the momentum that propels us to do something in the first place.  If someone steps in and takes it over, because we 'froze'.... it lowers us in more ways than one, does it not?  Fear makes the gap between where I am and trusting God seem an impossible chasm.  It's not a bad thing to fail.  It is failing to even try because of our fear that defeats us.  If we fall, and get hurt, when we attempt something - it's ok.  We tried.  If we walk away because of the fear and don't even try..... we have gained nothing.

God does not want us paralyzed in fear.  He has equipped up with comfort and reassurance.  Over and over in the Bible, He tells us 'do not fear'.

I can remember, many, many years ago, in a small town I used to live in.... I went to church with my bestest friend, Bertie.  She talked me into singing a solo, with her playing the piano, at church one Sunday.  I was nervous, and we had practiced the song many times, so I knew I could do it.  Well, I got up to sing, opened my mouth, and nothing came out. I tried and tried to sing that song, and could not get a sound to come out.  I was so nervous, so fearful, that I could not sing. After a couple minutes I just turned and walked away, totally embarrassed.  I don't think I ever went back to church after that.  The song?  I've never forgotten it.  Prayer is the key to heaven, but Faith unlocks the door.  And yet, now I can stand up in front of people and preach.... see how good God is?  I could have let that fear of losing my voice again stunt my growth in Jesus.

Joshua 1:9:  The Lord my God will be with me wherever I go.

Isaiah 43:1:  God has redeemed me and summoned me by name.  I am His.

I Peter 5:7:  I can hand Him all my anxiety because He cares for me.

2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV):  God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

With the foundation of God's Word before us and beneath us, we can let go of any fear we are hanging on to.

Whatever fear of the unknown, real or imagined, that you find you are holding on to, let it go - and let God set you free from free and anxiety.  You are His.

Blessings!

I was tired last night...

 Well, we didn't go to church.  As I was sitting here yesterday, finishing up writing in here, hubby opens the door and says, "I don't feel like going to church this morning."  Isn't that interesting?  So, I mentioned that I also had been feeling the same thing- so we didn't go.  We did watch the service; hubby watched on the computer, I listened more as I got busy in the kitchen and started making some soups and strawberry pie.  I didn't feel guilty for not going, should I have?  Hubby and I went out and sat outside and continued to read our Bible or book for awhile and I wrote in my journal.  It was cool, with a slight breeze, and it was just really nice sitting outside for awhile. Something I don't get to do very often.

Since I had cooked breakfast, hubby didn't want lunch, so after I finished making soups and strawberry pies, I came in the front room and sat down.  Hubby had the game on, but quickly asked "do you want to watch a movie?"  I said ok, so we wended up watch 3 movies yesterday, then he kicked it over to NCIS about 7PM-ish.  So nothing got done yesterday except my cooking and cleaning up the mess.  But it was a relaxing day - you know I enjoy cooking and baking so I was ok with all that, but when I sat down, I realized how tired I was.  Getting old is not fun.

Today is hubby's birthday and when he came in with my coffee, I gave him his gifts, and he reminded me I had already bought him new tennis shoes, and something else, I forget what it was.  Anyway, I gave him a pair of walking poles (he always has an excuse he can't take long walks because he needs something to balance himself (he easily loses his balance and falls if he walks a long distance, especially if he is carrying something).  And a new phone case that is a tan color.  His black/tan cover he is constantly losing.  Hopefully he can find his phone easier now.  He seemed happy with the gifts.  I even splurged and bought a card, which I don't normally do.

I probably will offer to take him out to dinner somewhere tonight because it is his birthday, although we do have soup in the refrigerator. I may bag it up today and throw in the freezer.  It needs some doctoring up.  It's a good soup, don't get me wrong, but I used ground turkey instead of ground beef, and it has no flavor.   I don't know if I want to give to the neighbors or not.  And my strawberry pies?  I made two, but they don't seem to be quite right.  I found a new recipe and tried it, but it said to crush a cup of the strawberries, which I did, and cook, which I did, and then it said to add sugar and cornstarch to thicken, which I did.  Then it said to 'sieve' (which means to strain out the pieces that weren't crushed)... which I didn't, thinking it would give the pies flavor.... and therefore, they are somewhat runny.  Good, but runny.  I say good, because I have hubby and I 1/8 piece of pie after we ate.... and I saw later that hubby went back and got another, larger, piece.  I can say that cause 1/2 the pie is gone.  I do need to give the other pie away; we will never eat it that fast.  And we still have 1/2 a pie.

I was reading Romans 12 today in The Passion Translation, and I wish I had the time to write the entire chapter in here.  I've read that chapter many times over the years, and it is the basis of the Christian walk, I believe.  But TPT made it so clear.  It talks about the transforming power of the gospel.  This scripture is but a taste of what is to come.

Romans 12:1 (TPT):  Beloved friends, what should be our proper response to God's marvelous mercies? To surrender yourselves to God to be his sacred, living sacrifices. And live in holiness, experiencing all that delights his heart. For this becomes your genuine expression of worship.

In this chapter Paul also talks about being inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how we think.  He talks about pride. (yeah, I had to pause and pray about that one - am I prideful?  Yes, I unfortunately am, in some areas. We can call it being defensive, but in some cases, it is being prideful)  Paul also talks about the various gifts that God gives each of us.  

And Paul also talks about how our relationships are to be transformed.  Granted, he is talking about members and not family.  Still, some of the verses spoke to me.  And I think I have been doing that.

Romans 12:14 (TPT): Speak blessing, not cursing, over those who reject and persecute you.

And I know that I shared this one before.

Romans 12:19 (TPT): Beloved, don't be obsessed with taking revenge, but leave that to God's righteous justice. For the Scriptures say: "Vengeance is mine, and I will repay," says the Lord.

I didn't take the time to reread Romans 12 in the NKJV as I usually do.  But in The Passion Translation it makes me pause and think.  

I'm thinking I may be allergic to some of my yarn.  I really don't know, but every few months or so, my right arm will break out in a rash.  I try to get to the dermatologist before it goes away, and one time it was on the 'tail end' of the rash, but he took a biopsy to see what it was - but there wasn't enough to make a decision.  So what did he tell me to do?  Take an Alegra every day.  He said it wouldn't hurt me to do so.  And I did for awhile, but quit a few months ago.  And last night, I noticed the rash back on my arm and it has probably been 6 months since I have had it.  It' really strange; it doesn't itch. I is about 8" long and 3" wide and looks blotched on my arm.  That's the only place it appears, that I'm aware of.  And by tomorrow morning it will have faded away.  It lasts about 3 days and then fades back out.  But I was busy crocheting yesterday and watching movies... I made 2 baby blankets and got started on a third  so perhaps the yarn?  But then, it wasn't on this arm at all.  I'm right handed so the hook is in that hand.  I don't know, but that's the only thing I can think it could possibly be - and I remember thinking the same thing before.  I don't know.  Perhaps I should block out a day when  I just crochet all day and see what happens. Like I have all that time.  And, looking at the clock, my time is about gone in here this morning.  Sigh. Back to work.

Blessings!

Hubby's birthday - 86 and counting....

 Today is hubby's birthday and he is wanting to go to Einstein's for his free egg sandwich for breakfast.  Works for me!  I normally would have fixed a big breakfast for him, but he wants Einstein's - so who am I to complain?  I love their coffee so it is a win-win for me too.  He does love his food - and tonight our middle child is taking him (us) out for dinner.  He is looking forward to that as well.  

I've mentioned a small amount of hubby's medical issues over time and now he is facing the decision about taking a shot for an issue.  He has talked to the doctor and/or the office two-three times this week alone about the side effects.  The pills are out of the question - his copay is over $900.  They said the shot is considerably less....but the benefits person hasn't called him back yet on the copay cost.  That will determine his decision, I'm sure.  We even called his PCP yesterday and asked for a call back to discuss.  And he did get a callback, and the PCP's answer was he was aware of what this specialist was wanting to do (shot) but he didn't know much about the medication, although he had researched it some.  He didn't say 'NO', as he has in some instances, so hubby is thinking he may go ahead with the shot.

I did talk with my boss about it - her dad had similar issues and he refused the shot when it was offered - he was 90 - and when he died earlier this year - it wasn't because of that issue, but falling and breaking his hip... and 'old age' seemed to take over.  It's really sad how a broken bone in an elderly person can end up being the reason they go in to a hospital - and then die.  Isn't that odd?  My mother went in with a broken ankle.  I'm sure there is a lot more to medical things.... but still... the reason she went to the hospital was the broken ankle.  I miss my mama.

Anyway - the side effects are drastic (to us) if hubby takes the shot.  Extreme tiredness and weakness; weight gain; boob gain; and many other things.  And as we are fighting constantly about our weight - it's like - really?  A shot that will cause weight gain?  Just what he was wanting!  I guess it is really up to me -  and what I prepare for him to eat for dinner.  We sometimes eat around 4:30-5PM, but then we sit all evening.  I need to encourage him (and me) to go for a walk or DO something to keep the body active enough to burn some calories.  That includes me as well.

Ms. Vicky should be back home today or tomorrow, I think.  I haven't heard from her for a few days so might text her in a bit to see where they are, and if they are even on their way back.  Earlier this week she thought they'd be back on Saturday.  I hope she likes all the flowers I've planted in her pots for her and the way I fixed up her courtyard.  She may ask that I take it all back home... but I think it looks nice right now.  I've been going over and checking on the plants and I think they look great.  My flowers are doing great as well.  

Matthew 6:6 (NKJV):  "But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly."

That scripture is on my mind this morning.  Yes, I do have this room that I can come in to and do my 'quiet time', my prayer time.  It's currently my 'secret place' with my Heavenly Father.  BUT.  You know how I have longed to have a place where I don't have all this clutter around.  It will probably never happen, but I can long for it.  What has triggered it this time?

I saw a photo of Dr. Charles Stanley's 'secret place'.  I am so jealous, I admit it.  I have grown up in my Christian walk with Charles Stanley.  I have several of his cassette studies, I have read several of his books - he didn't pull any punches.  If you love Jesus, you will follow Him.  And he would lay it out how we 'follow'.  It's all the way or nothing.  Anyway - he was 90, I believe, when he passed into heaven the other day.  But In Touch Ministries (which he founded) showed a photo of his prayer room.

It's plain and simple.  A chair, a bed, a kneeler.  A couple wall hangings - not a lot of distractions to take his mind away from God.  It reminds me of the hermitage I used to go to; how I long to be able to go now!  But, they are not available to the public.  

Alone with Jesus.  To kneel and pray; to lay prostrate before Him; to sit and talk with Him as a friend.   This photo puts a yearning in my heart for a room such as this; a prayer closet.  I may never have exactly what I want, but He knows what my heart desires for.... and what I have now... is still used to spend time with Him.  That's all that matters.  I start my day with Jesus; He is the author and perfector of my faith.  I want my life to be all about Jesus.  

Blessings!