The last holiday of the year is over.

 We had our last group of family over yesterday to celebrate Christmas.  After they had opened their gifts we had 'lunner' and then soon left.  My son said one of the little ones was starting to get on hubby's nerves... although he hadn't said anything.  I get it; I've always been supersensitive about disturbing other people.  And, this little one could not sit still nor keep quiet.  Even I could not keep up with her!  LOL All in all, I think everyone enjoyed the 'gathering' and was happy/ok with what they received.  I feel I messed up on a couple as I thought I had purchased other things for them, but it looks like I did in thought only. I felt bad, but at least they got a gift, right?  

I was going to take some leftovers to Ms. Diane, but she said she was sick and didn't want it.  I checked with Ms. Vicky - and mind you, it was about 4:20PM - and she said no, she had already eaten.  I have the food in containers so guess I will stick in the freezer for when hubby and I need something and I don't want to cook. (Ok, I know that happens way too often, but I am going to try to do better this year and cook more often.)  I guess everything else went well with the food; didn't hear any complaints, anyway.

I don't have training this morning as Morgan moved me to 7AM on Thursday.  So I have tomorrow @ 8AM and Thursday at 7AM this week.  I thought hubby was to go yesterday, but he is scheduled today and Thursday.  His trainings may lessen somewhat as he got disturbing news from the doctor yesterday.

An aneurysm that is in his abdomen has grown enough that the doctor says it needs to have surgery fairly soon.  He said hubby could wait 3 months and have it looked at again - but there is a (scare tactic?) chance it could burst if he puts it off.  Hubby is terrified and depressed at the thought of surgery again.  His fear is that at his age, he says, people go in to the hospital for one thing, and don't come out alive. That's probably true in most cases. But he's healthy so he should be ok, right?  All I can do is pray.  The doctor will probably get something set up this month.  He asked if hubby hiked and being told 'no', the doctor said that was good, for if he did, he would schedule the surgery immediately as any stress could cause it to burst.  He can still work out, but cannot do anything that will cause stress in that area (I'm guessing).  

It's hard to believe today is the last day of 2024.  I look back over the year and as I have commented frequently, again acknowledge how quickly it passed by.  I'm hoping I will be more focused in 2025 and get my life straightened out.  I have many goals in mind, but haven't settled on any to 'declare'.  

Other than my book reading.  I have managed to add two more finished books to my total for the year - bringing it up to 48 out of 50 books - and no, I am not going to read two more books today to meet my goal.  I am going to reset the goal at 50 books (or should I go 55 to really give myself a challenge?) and shoot for it again.  Once I'm working again (starting Thursday), it will be hard to get a lot of reading in. I started the last book yesterday morning after I got things ready for the 'gathering', and finished it after they left.  When a book holds my interest, it is really easy to keep reading.  I have a book already lined up to read starting tomorrow.  We've moved lunch to dinner so I will have most of the day to read once I get the ribs in the oven. Which reminds me, I still need to go pick up more ribs and coleslaw today.  I should do that early this morning, before they are all gone, right?

Isaiah 43:16, 18-19 (NIV):  This is what the Lord says, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

Forget the former things of 2024.  Don't think about the things you did (and shouldn't have) or didn't do (and should have).  Forget all that is past, you cannot change a thing.  But what you can do is look to the future and what God is going to do in your life and in the lives of those you love.  Look for new things. Look for good things.  Look ahead with a positive attitude and disposition.  Don't let the past ruin your future.  It is yours to bring good.

Letting go of the past is sometimes hard, I get that.  Especially if it is bad stuff.  Why is it that we hang on to the 'bad' stuff and not the 'good' stuff?  I do that, and I'm sure you do.  I beat myself up over and over again because of something I said - or didn't say and should have.  And why do I do that? Because the devil (although I hate to give him any credit!) likes to keep things stirred up.  He likes for us to put ourselves down and call ourselves names.  QUIT IT!  Tell the devil to go back where he belongs!  

You were made in the image of God.  You were created to bring God glory.  Let's give Him the glory, for only He is worthy of it!  Let's agree not to dwell on the past things that bring up hurt and anger within us - but dwell on the good things that bring us joy.  Agree?

I didn't sleep well last night and am not sure why.  Had a really stupid dream, in my opinion.  I've written it down in my journal to ponder on another time.  It really was weird.  Want to hear it (and agree it is weird?)?  I was donating blood and it was nighttime. Now mind you, I don't donate blood at night; it isn't open.  Anyway, as I was getting ready to leave, I wanted to talk with someone but they were busy and I felt like I had been 'dissed', so I left, instead of waiting.  As I left, there was a long dark hall I had to walk through (valley of the shadow of death?) and there was a thin man leaning up against the wall that I could see his outline.  I hurried out into the dark parking lot and tried to remember where I had parked my car.  The man was following me, and it looked like he had an axe in his hand. I walked quickly and decided to 'run' to a friend's house nearby.  But the houses look alike; I don't know which one is hers (I haven't seen her since 1967 so probably wouldn't even recognize her!).  I am pounding on the door, screaming her name.  I see the man approaching.... only he doesn't have an axe in his hand, but several tree branches.  He walks on past me.  And I wake up.  Yeah - weird, huh?  Maybe I ate too much chocolate before heading to bed? 

Need to get off here and get dressed and out to the store.  I have several things I need to get done today (in my mind, anyway), so need to get on it.  Hope that you have a blessed day!

Blessings!

How will I fit it all in today?

 I have a lot going on today - besides work.  That's just interference in my day (work, that is).  About 10AM I plan to run down and pick up my combo box of vegetables.  Then I'm to meet my 'old' girlfriend for lunch at 11AM.  Then I want to get a casserole started in the crockpot for dinner. And I also got work to do. The plus side is that this is Friday and usually on Fridays I don't get hit too bad... but you watch, today I will get a lot to do.  I did get my boss's Colorado trip scheduled - airline, hotel, and car rental - yesterday so that's done.  Now I'm working on his itinerary and who he is to see, what is the driving distance from each location, etc.  I worked about two hours on it yesterday and sent to him - and he sent it right back with a couple questions, which I did not respond to last night.  Will go at it again this morning. No biggie; he doesn't go until the middle of next month, so I have time.

My youngest had picked up a food box yesterday - and I still don't understand why but none of my business - and brought me a bunch of tomatillos and tomatoes - cherry and roma.  I washed the tomatillos and quickly made up a batch of green salsa that I love.  Haven't really tried it yet.  I only had about 1.5 jalapeno so used it, and my cilantro - I had cut it way back last week and gave to a granddaughter to use - so I didn't have much of it left.  Will taste it some time today and see what I need to add to it.  If I make more, will have to pick up cilantro at the store - go figure!  

Yes, I have my own little 'garden' here in the house.  A few months back I had bought one of those hydroponic systems for someone and they couldn't use it - so I set it up and planted some cilantro, mint, basil and chives in it.  Oh my - it was totally overgrown quickly - especially the cilantro and basil.  Need to clear out some room, I cut it way back on it all and gave it away.  Go figure I'd need cilantro now.  I emptied one of the pods yesterday and put in onions.  I've given thought to getting another one; there is room where I have this one.  I could also plant some in the planter outside.  Which I may try to do this weekend.  I just don't need an overabundant supply of any of the herbs but I love growing them. And, according to the photos, I can also plant strawberries in there.  But, I am planning to get a box of strawberries today when I go pick up my combo box, so there's that.   I am enjoying my little garden.  I don't have to do anything to it but keep water in it and occasionally put in some 'food' in the water. The base is full of water - and roots.  Lots of roots. I will have to totally clean it out at some point.  Need to order more pods - I think I only have six extras.  It's my new toy and I enjoy it.

I had the strangest dream last night.  It was really weird.  First of all, I awoke and glanced at my watch and thought it said 4AM and I'm telling myself, no, sleep for a bit more.  I complete the in the middle of the night task and crawl back in to bed.  Looking at the clock by the bed, I see it was only a 12:20AM.  So yay, I can go back to sleep.  But then I go in to this really weird dream.  My sister is pushing me to go to a conference with her and I don't want to go.  We are both together at a church service and I see her up on stage talking with the pastor, but don't think anything of it.  I see a post card about the conference and I look at it - and this is where it gets weird.  Remember the situation at the men's conference I wrote about the other day? (I am still seeing posts on it!) THIS post card had NUDITY - just showed the top part of the body of women's boobs!  Just the side view and it was encouraging women to come to this life-changing conference.  What in the world?  Then my sister came back to where I was and said that the pastor was going to talk to me.  And then I woke up.  Talk about a weird dream!!  For one, she wouldn't go to such a conference, and neither would I - so all I can figure out is that it was caused by the sword-swallower at the men's conference had taken his shirt off.   See, I dream weird dreams without meanings too!   I have no idea what could come from that dream!  Could it have been that I overate at the dinner last night with our friends?  

Ephesians 6:11 (NKJV):  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may stand against the wiles of the devil. 

That devil is a sneaky one!  He will throw ideas in to your head that you would not have even thought of.  The devil will tempt you with saying words that you wish you could take back; attitudes you wish you didn't have, and actions you never in your right mind want to take.  Some days I fall for the 'wiles of the devil' because I don't stop and ask God about the long-term effects of what I'm doing.  Sometimes it affects just me, but many times, it affects a lot of other people.  Some are short-term, some are long-term.  

Pause for a moment and think of some things (you know you can!) that you wish you hadn't done, and if you were in your 'right mind' would not have done.  If you had paused and questioned it, would you have still done it?  There are many things that come to my mind that I wish I hadn't done, wish I could recall the words spoken that shouldn't have been, attitudes I've had that I knew better of but thought I was right.  Yeah, we all let down our guard at some times.  And that is why Paul tells us in Ephesians to put on the whole armor of God.  What is that armor?  Let's look further!

Ephesians 6:14-18 (NKJV):  Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.  And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, and being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints....

So put on truth around your waist so that truth is told, a breastplate to protect your heart, sandals on your feet to protect the as you walk, and take hold of your shield of faith and believe that all that the enemy throws at you will be thrown off by the Word.  Put on your helmet that protects your mind in Him, and hold on to the sword of the Spirit - and be ready to fight for truth in all things.  We are called to daily put on the armor of God so that we can live rightly for Him.  And I confess, some days I forget to put it on - which is why I sometimes get dragged into some of these drama situations.  And I'll leave that right there.

Our trainer may be coming over tonight for dinner and to hang out with us.  It always depends if his girlfriend (who is a waitress at a restaurant) works or not.  I think a lot of it is he just wants company, but we love him and enjoy him hanging out with us.  If she works, he may be over, if not, he probably won't.  And that's ok.  I'm still going to put on a casserole. 

Today is a great-granddaughter's birthday and although I remembered earlier in the week, didn't get a gift sent.  Checked with my granddaughter last night and I see she responded.  Will either order something or plan a road trip a weekend soon.  Will see.  Cheaper to just send a gift. :-)

And with that - I'm getting off here - got a bit more reading to do; hubby just left for his Bible study and I am alone and don't need to tart work for about another 20 minutes or so.  Love these few minutes of just me and God.  I open up my windows and just talk with God, looking up to the sky.  

Hope your day is amazing - don't forget to put on your armor!

Blessings!

I WANTED to go back to sleep this morning....

 We didn't go to bed until after 10PM last night - which is late for us - and then I had a weird dream, so I really wanted to take a nap in here this morning.  So I snuggled down in my chair, wrapped in my blanket and prayer shawl to keep warm and closed my eyes... and I may have drifted off some... but it sure didn't feel like it.  Of course then I 'lost' that time to do some of my 'routine' things that I like to do (like read other things and have more time to write in here).  Oh well.  I was tired (still am).

Oh - the weird dream?  I opened my eyes to see what time it was when I woke up... it was 1:15AM.  I was in bed, asleep, when someone jarred me awake.... that someone was my boss.  The one I love.  Then, after I saw what time it was and I was falling back to sleep, it was as if I remembered I had a bag of things for her.... which is weird.... we were in this building and I opened the bag I had for her, and inside the bag was the last pint jar of my salsa (which hubby is finishing up)... the last one left over from Christmas and I think is about ready to be tossed.  It was wrapped in paper towels... and as I unwrapped them, they were wet.  The juice from the salsa had leaked out of the jar and when I looked at the jar... yeck... it was a mess of tomatoes and peppers and all - thick and clumpy.  I decided to throw it away instead of giving it to her.  Then I lost the dream.  What in the world?  I'll check with her today and make sure she and her family are all ok.  The salsa?  I'm going to tell hubby to dump it and not eat any more of it.  It's still pretty full.  Usually they last about 3 weeks and then the salsa starts bumbling out of the jar and smelling sour.  We have already thrown away one jar.  That one was for our prodigal granddaughter... she never came over to get her gifts nor her salsa.  The gifts have been moved to the garage.  Without her boyfriend apologizing to my son for what he and his family did to my son, I don't want him here.  It may be wrong, but what he did was wrong and he needs to acknowledge his part in it.  It's her choice to see me. I will always love her. 

We went to hear Cindy Jacobs last night at the Church of the Nations.  She prophesied over several people, especially the youth.  That was the reason we were up late as we didn't get home until 9PM and then I heated up some leftovers for hubby and I to eat.  It was a good service.... and one thing I got out of it was to prepare for my passion.  What is it that one is passionate about... before they even have the passion 'happen', one needs to prepare as if they are ready for it.  I know that... I've told myself that before... and I would start reading and studying... and then get discouraged.  I've always felt like I had a weight around me, holding me back, holding me down.  I've never felt free to be able to follow any passion I've had.  And now I am old.  What could God possibly have for me to do?

But in spite of my own questions, I will go back to reading, praying, and perhaps even try writing some.  My spare time is about nil... but I should at least try, right?  My joy (other than for my children and grandchildren - and greats) was sucked out of me years ago.  Then I tell myself that no one can steal my joy because my joy comes from the Lord and knowing Him.  And that is true.  I do find my joy in Him.  Jesus is my refuge in the midst of each day - whether good or bad.  I run to Him whenever I need help.  I cry out to Him in my troubles, even little one sentence prayers like "Lord, HELP!"

I desperately need alone time - not just here in the mornings or when hubby goes away for breakfast or lunch with his friends - afterall, usually I am still working so I'm not really 'alone'.  How I wish I had a hermitage to run off to!  But then... 

James 1:5 (NIV):  "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

I lack a lot of wisdom and sometimes I let that show way too much.  Each day I ask God for wisdom, knowledge, and revelation of His Word, so that I can apply His Word to my life.  Sometimes I seek it, sometimes I don't.  One thing for sure, when I don't, I am not too smart!  God has all the wisdom in the world.  Why wouldn't one want to ask Him for some?  I should do it more often, for sure! And so should you.

I'm reading this book on the Holy Spirit called Fire and Wind by Stan Kantz, I think it is.  It's really pretty interesting.  I read last night that when he was seven years old he was laying in the back seat of the car, looking out the back window (before seatbelts were required), and looking up at the sky, he felt the vastness of who God is and his own need for Him... even at 7 years old!  He told his mother that he wanted to ask Jesus to come in to his heart at that time.  He didn't have many sins, if any, and yet, he felt like he needed to ask Jesus to forgive him of his sins and become Lord of his life.  What an awesome testimony of being drawn to the Lord and allowing Him to live within.  Oh that my children and grand children would come to the saving knowledge of the grace of God!  I pray for them, and I truly believe that God will answer my prayers .. but it is never in my timing.

Every day is a new beginning.  It is more than making the determination that 'today is the day that I will ...."  It is the first day of the rest of your life.  I want my life to matter.  I want to leave a legacy that I will be remembered with love.  Sometimes I have to work on that.  Perhaps we all do.  But one thing I do - I choose Jesus, Father God, and the Holy Spirit to live for.   I choose LIFE.

Blessings!