Last night was no exception. Sigh. I won't go into details, but let's just say that hubby and I disagreed on something, and my response to his comments did not go over well. We didn't speak much - but in my defense, I was reading all evening (after dinner) but I was so disappointed in his comments that it didn't matter anyway. One only sees their side of things, right? Only one has to make mountains of things that may not even be a pimple on the horizon. And you know it only takes one to ponder a comment, and fuel it with their own thoughts and cause great distress to one internally, until they want to 'talk about it' and get it thrown back in their face. Ok - rambling... but ... I'm tired. So very tired.
Erase, erase...... some things don't need to be put in to print.
Today is my last work day this week. I do have some things that I need to make sure happens today for work. I actually was surprised how the prep board meeting went yesterday - they agreed to cancel the board meeting!! I am surprised, to say the least. Now our legal department is to send me an email on how I am to word it to the board on why we are cancelling it. Part of it, of course, is that Brett left. AND, come to find out, and I did make mention of it, I had suggested he contact the boards (all three of them) and let the board members know he was leaving the company. Well, the chair was on this meeting - and she said she did not receive anything. You would have thought he would have at least called the chair of each board. I know he did one, but obviously did not for this board. There was silence after she made the comment of no notification. So - I need to make sure I get it out today - or make sure they know that I will be out for the rest of the week and will need to do it on Monday. The board meeting is currently scheduled for April 30th. Sigh. If I had any thought it would be cancelled, we could have gone next weekend instead of this weekend - but - we obviously need to have our trip this week.
I guess I can start packing for our trip. I did pull out a bag to put my stuff in. Of course I plan to take my computer, and my Bible, and at least one more book and a journal. Maybe I'll take my kindle, in case I want to read. No, we will probably be crocheting so we can talk. Can't read and talk. Right? Finished one book last night. I enjoyed the book on the Sabbath and how we can live it. Told hubby he should read it.... but ended up putting it back on the shelf. He has a stack of books beside his chair he is either reading or wanting to read. I have the same. I need to weed out the ones I'm really going to read. I have a couple, I think, that I started, but just couldn't get in to. Does that happen to you? You think they are going to be interesting, you've perhaps hood good reports about the books, but you start reading and..... nothing. They are just words. You plug through, hoping something will connect. Finally, you just give up because nothing is. You leave the book in the stack because 'some day you might want to finish it'... right? And I have finished books like that... but if I have something else more interesting, of course I'm going to change.
Why is life so hard at times?
I was reading in my devotional this morning about making decisions without looking ahead to see what all it would entail.
Isaiah 49:10 He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water.
As I'm sure you know already, when I read the devotional this morning about making decisions that affect the future, my thoughts once again went to retirement. The 'do I?' or 'don't I?" part. Some days I am confident in my decision that I should retire. Then the days come at me, usually when an unexpected expense happens (or even when I know a big one is coming up) and I think that I need to keep working so that we can more easily pay those bills. (I know our yearly REC fee got raised to about $600 this year cause our neighbor has already paid it.) The yearly and monthly bills for this place keep going up. We received notice from our bank that our house payment is going up $50/month because of a shortage in escrow. So from the time we moved in here close to six years ago now, things have roughly risen in cost about $400 a month, I think. Just reviewing it in my mind. I so want to move from here, but have to fight hubby every time I mention it. Another story another time. I just want a place to call 'home' with a small yard that I can plant flowers in, get me a dog to play in the back yard, and make it all homey and welcoming. This place is not mine. It's a house, not a home. There is a difference.
Anyway - back to the devotional, it talked about making a decision that has long range effects. It did cause me to think about retirement. There are several pros, and cons, about retiring for me. I have always been the 'breadwinner'. Which is why hubby is so against my retirement, other than he will have me at home and 'free' to do things. (erase, erase) Long range effects - is that as prices continue to go up - especially on things we are forced to pay for (rent, electric, fees, etc.) that would cut even deeper into our saved finances. My neighbor, who is single (Ms. Vicky) is always complaining how hard it is to survive. She has lived her 20 years or so. She commented on the recent increase on the REC fee (about $100 increase) (our fees have gone from $290 to whatever it is - we get in July) is nearly as much as her house payment. And all she has is social security. We would be reduced to that - do I want to put us in that position?
My little sister complains all the time about the two of them just living on social security - but it doesn't seem to stop her spending much. Her hubby has been buying pallets from Amazon - he goes to get them and it can contain just about anything - he doesn't know what it is when he buys it - and then he puts on marketplace and sells them - which brings in extra money. He seems to be doing very well with it - except now she complains there is no room in the garage to park the car and the house has bicycles standing in the living room some times.
So I guess we always complain about the future, right? But when we know Who holds our future, and if we seek Him and ask Him to lead us (which I am trying to do), everything will be ok. Perhaps I just need to be patient.
And being patient is hard. Sigh.
And now - my time is gone and I need to get to work - last day! YAY! Maybe I will have a little more time to write in the morning - hopefully it will be something intersting.
Have an awesome day!
Blessings!
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