Yeah... I just wrote some things that I decided not to 'publish'. It wasn't anything bad... not at all... but just my thoughts about a conversation I had with hubby last night. Or rather, he had with me. I think, for the first time, that he has realized he is older than his friends and that they are living life, while he sits in his recliner. His body isn't as strong as it used to be. He's gained some weight. (as I have) He has no outside interests. He has a bad shoulder that he has used as an excuse for years for not doing things..... and now he really has a bad shoulder and can't do things. And his friends are. And it is hurting him to be left out. And feels alone.
I get it. But in spite of my 'nagging' over the years to work out (do as I say, not as I do) as he used to, do some hiking (which he does not enjoy), do some serious walking (just got back into it and now he's up to a mile)... get involved with other men in activities.... hubby has lost not only time, but his body has lost the ability to do a lot of things. I think he just realized it last night.
That and he is terrified of going to the vascular doctor today (which totally surprised me), afraid he will have to go in to the hospital for surgery. I am at a loss as to what to say and what to do. So I pray... I even suggested he contact our former pastor, with whom he still meets up with occasionally, to talk about his feelings. And then his phone dinged... and who is it but that former pastor asking if hubby can meet up with him Thursday or Friday this week. (Is that not God or what!) I had just said it when his phone dinged! So he will meet with him Friday afternoon.
I know I need to get more active as well. When my grandchildren were younger, it was easy to play with them and be involved in things. But they have grown up and have their own activities. I still get my baking time at Christmas... but that isn't being active. I miss having them near me. But they also have their own lives. And the reality that I am also getting older hits.
But I refuse to grow up. I may not be as active as I used to be... and I need to 'up the ante' on that... I even asked hubby to get my hiking boots for Christmas (mainly because there is nothing I need and I would like to do easy hikes again. I enjoy putting my body to the test. But I need to hit the gym again a few months before attempting it. There are things that I would still like to do. If I wasn't working, I could take the long walks.... I'd just have to get someone to go with me as hubby is afraid someone just might kidnap me. sigh.
I think I'm more afraid that with my restrictions, if I should ever get the opportunity to live life... I won't be able to. And maybe I'm not supposed to.
I need a challenge; someone who is serious about walking and eating healthy. I could probably ask someone to walk that journey with me, but the friends I have are not close by and it is easy to fall by the way side when no one is walking it with you. Know what I mean?
If you know someone will meet you at the gym to work out, then you will be there because you know they will be. If you plan to meet someone to walk at a certain time, you won't not go, you would show up and walk. I think that is the way God planned it - He doesn't want anyone to be alone, but to walk with a friend this journey in life.
When one falls, the other can pick them up. Sometimes it could be literally, right? Especially as we have gotten older. I miss being around younger people. They breathe life into me. I am encouraged that I can do things that I have forgotten I can do.
Sounds like I need to make a lifestyle change. It won't be easy. I have restrictions on what I can and cannot do. I need to step out. And I'm sure some of you do too. Let's do it together. Getting older and being sick and weak is no fun. That is not living life. That is surviving each day. I don't want anyone to 'take care of me' when I am older because I was too lazy to take care of me now.
Join me on this journey of increasing strength?
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NKJV) "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up."
Be that friend.... or find one for yourself..... walk the journey. Live life.
Blessings!
