Late yesterday morning I stomped in here and grabbed my computer and started typing. I was soooo angry... and I just typed out my anger. Then I decided, naw, I'm not going to post it. I copied it and thought I'd send it to my sister, cause we do a lot of complaining and whining to each other. Then I decided I shouldn't do that either. So I deleted it. The only reason I am reminded of it is that the title was still on the page when I came to the blog... something about being so angry.... No, don't text, call, or ask what it was about. It isn't important. I'm so over it. I got it out while typing, and over that time, I was able to resolve my emotional state without saying things I shouldn't say, without causing a big blow-out. It's done, it's over with.
And then I went shopping. I went to Tuesday Morning and found a couple 'snuggies' for our two new great-grandsons that will be here by end of summer. Then on to Sam's Club and bought way too much - and yet, it was things we needed, but it's the cost of things nowadays. I hadn't gone to the store for awhile... prices are starting to rise. And I didn't even buy any meat! I take that back - I did get hot dogs cause hubby loves his hot dogs. It was a nice couple hours out BY MYSELF. I think hubby knew he really did not want to go with me.
The rest of the day was uneventful and we watched a couple movies last night. Oh - he did not ask if he could take me to breakfast yesterday as I had expected. No, I got to cook. ;-) Surprisingly, although I stalled last night on fixing dinner, he didn't suggest going out for dinner either. I finally fixed something around 6PM. He didn't even ask me about dinner even though I usually start it around 4PM. I intentionally sat there and he didn't say a word. Hmmm, am I the wicked witch of the west and he was afraid to talk to me, knowing how angry I was in the morning, even though I hadn't said anything? Now that's funny!
We do plan to go to the 9AM service this morning at church. Which means I can't stay in my room for another hour or so like I can on weekends. And this morning I probably really should cause I couldn't wake up this morning. Didn't sleep well last night; kept running through the movies in my mind, then I was too warm and kicking off covers to cool off, then got cold... finally fell asleep but was awake at 4:30AM in the mind.. but the body wasn't. Went back to sleep in my chair this morning and even when hubby came in at 5:30AM to bring my coffee, I was struggling to stay awake. A shower will wake me up. It better, anyway.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NKJV): "Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools."
Ephesians 4:26 (NKJV): "Be angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath."
Yep. I went there. It's ok to be angry.... but the point is, don't let your anger overrule your emotions or your behavior. It's ok to discuss it. It's ok to walk away to calm down. Regardless of how angry I was, regardless of how I still feel about the situation, I simply needed to walk away from that situation and process my emotions within myself. Didn't need to post it on here and didn't need to send it to my sister. I needed to process my anger with God and tell Him my reasons for anger. And that's what I did while I was driving and shopping. I let it go. My pent up anger was released and I was able to speak kindly when I came home. We never again referred to the issue, nor will I bring it up. It's not my problem now. I gave that situation to God and hubby, and will let them work it out. End of rant and whining and anger.
The point is even in sharing this much... sometimes when we get angry (especially at our spouses or children), we need to step back and breathe. If we allow the anger to control our words, our emotions, we sin, for yes, anger can cause us to say or do things that we normally would be able to control. I don't want to be a person who responds in anger. Although I have. Although I do. I try to get past that part. Not easy, but the grace of God always sustains me (and you) and helps us overcome those things that keep us from being like Him.
And that is our goal. To be like Jesus.
Blessings!
