but at least I'm pausing to write a few lines. I'm dealing with a headache this morning (I mean besides hubby) and it is bad enough I have taken an ibuprofen. Been busy somewhat this morning doing 'things' and just haven't had my morning in sync yet. Haven't done all my reading; and yes, I did take some time to go back to sleep as hubby woke me up at 12AM something with this tossing and turning, his snoring, and he has now taken up mumbling in his sleep - loudly. I should have gotten up and come in here - but I did not. I reviewed what was on the bed and what I could remove without turning the light on, and decided it wasn't worth it. Guess who may just get this bed in here cleaned off tonight for any future early morning wake-ups?
Yesterday was a so-so day.... my sister called and we talked for over an hour about everything. Seriously. I was in a downer mood and it helped get me out of it - for awhile anyway. I think I am just mentally and physically tired and I want to be a-l-o-n-e. What I mean by that is just time to do nothing and not feel guilty about doing nothing. Does that make sense. Well, not going to try and explain it either. Some things will go to the grave with me. Oh, for those that wonder... her hubby is now back on chemo 28 days (a pill a day) then off 7 days. Cancer out of remission. I may have told you that yesterday.
Hebrews 4:12 (NKJV): "For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
When you know the Word, (and sometimes when you don't, you 'know') and want to say or do something.... you call yourself out on it. Ever find that happening? You WANT to say something to someone; something cruel, perhaps, something mean, sarcastic.... and yet.... you hold it in. Why? cause you know that you know that you know - that you shouldn't. Intent isn't always to hurt people, no matter how badly you want to hurt them. We hurt people all the time with our words... and usually we are totally unaware of it.
Yesterday hubby took the youngest son and his wife out to lunch. I wasn't invited. No big deal for me... I felt sorry for the son and his wife. There are some people who will understand that statement. Of course hubby had to come tell me all about it and most, if not all, of what he discussed with them over lunch. Last night hubby and I were exchanging a few words over something really stupid.... which I won't go in to, but there was a much better way to handle it, but his words were so unexpected, I reacted rather than let it go. Then he made an accusation. I'm still 'mouth open' over his comment to me. Are you ready for this?
"You are just upset because I didn't invite you to lunch with us. And the reason I didn't, is that you monopolize the conversation!"
Wait - what? The lunch was not even in the conversation we were having. And, I think I have shared before... hubby has frequently - especially lately - accused me of monopolizing the conversation and he isn't able to say much. I can't help it if the people we are with get me talking about things I'm passionate about (books, teaching) and are asking ME questions and are talking to ME about specific things. It isn't to leave him out... it's just our interests are not the same.
So we are to go to dinner with a couple we both know, but he meets the guy for bible study every Tuesday evening. We go next weekend, I think it is. And you know what? Thinking back on the last time we met, the husband was asking me questions about books I've read and he was interested in.... and hubby had accused me of monopolizing the conversation then. Oh that this time I will just keep my mouth shut! NOT. I guess this is what happens when one is stuck in the house WORKING 5 days a week and not able to get out in the 'real world' and when we are around people, we monopolize the conversation! And it isn't even about US... it's about things we are passionate about. Does any of that make sense?
Well, it's after 7AM and I need to get busy on my job that pays for hubby to go out to eat 4-5 times a week. See, that's the REAL reason he doesn't want me to quit work... he wouldn't be able to afford to go out to eat. Just my opinion.... cause if I wasn't working, a lot of things would cease, including my buying books all the time. It is what it is. Get them while I'm working, right? LOL
Ok - hope you have an amazing day and that you will be a blessing to others!
Blessings!
