Not as close as I thought!

 Well, after looking at the directions to the hotel, I discovered the hotel is not as close to the shopping area as I thought it was - but that's ok. We're about 25 minutes closer than we were from home!  Not that we will do a lot of shopping, but that is on the agenda for today.  The hotel is nice as is our room.  Love getting the suites and having the extra room where it is set apart from the bedroom.  Hubby is loving having the thermostat set around 73-75 (at home he keeps it at 80 during the day, which is fine with me). We got our room yesterday, unpacked the car, and then just walked around the hotel to find out where everything is.  Not so sure we will use the pool after all.  One has to go down the side of the lobby to get to the door to it.  You know how I like my privacy, and even with a cover-up on, no one wants to see a blimp head to the pool.  But then again, the lobby was empty when we arrived yesterday; maybe there are too many people staying here. Will see if I change my mind.  We found the workout room too and it looks useable for our needs.  I do need to work out; just because my trainer has been gone this week doesn't mean I get the week off.  Will see about that too.

Mid-day yesterday we went to Sonic to grab a quick lunch.  I ate a cheeseburger and onion rings - which was really too much for me cause I ate the whole thing.  We didn't eat for the rest of the day, although hubby did drink one of the premier protein shakes I brought with us.  I do that for these 'just in case' we get hungry times.  We haven't gone down to break fast yet - but may soon.  I couldn't believe it! I asked at the desk when we checked in for I had read somewhere that there was a 'continental' and a 'hot meal' for a 'small fee'.  I asked what the 'small fee' was.  Wow.  Later, when we were walking around we found the 'menu' for breakfast.  Oh they have a lot of items - eggs, chef made omelets, pancakes, waffles, potatoes, etc.... for prices ranging from $13 for pancakes or waffles to $15.95 for the breakfast buffet!  YIPES!  Then we talked about it.  We'd spend that much if we went out to a restaurant for breakfast so why am I complaining so much?   I'm spoiled, what can I say?  When we go to the Wyndham or IHG hotels there is no fee for their breakfast and most of them have a standard made hot breakfast. Oh well.  We also saw there is a Bosa donuts right across the way (within walking distance) and we do like their breakfast sandwiches too!  Today, though, I think we may go downstairs.  After I finish this and get dressed, that is. Which won't be long.

As mentioned, today I think we will eat breakfast, get dressed, and read a bit before heading to the shopping center just a few miles north of us.  When we come back (probably after we grab lunch), we will either do workout or the pool (and/or).  I am not planning on staying in the room and reading as we do on our retreats.  Nope, this is VACATION and I want to do something, although I don't want hubby driving all over the place. Yep, he drove up here.  Better for his car to sit outside than mine, right? :-)

I'm re-reading a book I read many years ago called Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray.  He was an 'old-time' preacher from many, many years ago - but I love his books.  This is an old paperback I bought probably 20 years ago and read it then. It made a mark on me, and it has already begun its work in me as I started reading it last night - but definitely this morning.  In fact, the chapters I read this morning really showed how 'carnal' I have gotten over the years.  Some of my attitudes have not been Christ-like.  I knew it then, but chose to ignore it. But I'm sure you have seen it active in me with the things that I write in here.  Especially in my anger at people or things.  My frustration. My attitudes.  It won't be easy, but I am going to change.  To admit I have faults is difficult... these kinds of faults are some one can't just laugh about and say 'oh well'.  These faults will take a lot of prayer and work to overcome.  

When we don't act in love, when we push people away because we don't like them (regardless of the reason), we are being carnal.  Did anyone pop into your mind when I said that?  As I was reading what Andrew Murray wrote, there was one, and possibly two, people who came to mind.  I argued mentally with myself that the 'thing' I read yesterday was that we need to set boundaries with those kinds of people and stay away from them if possible.

But Jesus says.... we are to love those people as He loves them.  We are to forgive those people as we want Him to forgive us.  In all the movies about Jesus - and in the Bible, of course - Jesus never turns away anyone because of their behavior.  Think about the Pharisees and the Sadducees who spoke against Jesus every chance they got!  And Jesus loved them.  He didn't ignore them and set boundaries for them.  He loved them.  And on the cross, He forgave them all.  Ouch.

Even as much as hubby drives me crazy, I am called to love and respect him.  It doesn't matter how I feel I am treated or loved or respected by him...... Jesus says I am to love and respect him.  As you know, I (maybe) overreact sometimes with hubby, as he does things (I feel on purpose) to make me question his sanity as well as his 'love' or whatever for me.  Why does he do the things he does?  But then, why do I do the things I do?  No catch 22 there, we do, we react.  But do we react in love.  Lord HELP.

I am believing that with God's help that I will be able to change my attitude toward the unlovely, let go of my frustration and anger at those who speak against me and those I love, to choose to forgive the past and move on to the future that God has for me.  It won't be easy, for some feelings will be hard to let go of, but I am believing that God wants me to 'forget the past and press on towards the goal for which Christ Jesus took hold of me'.  

I want to be all His, and to do that, I have to let go of me.  My rights are nothing. My opinion doesn't matter. What matters is Jesus.  He said to love others as we love ourselves.  How much is that?  Got some thinking and processing and changing to do.  Something to think about.

Time to get ready for breakfast - have a blessed day!

Blessings! 

Struggling to get going on day 1!

 No - it isn't to exercise.  Hubby has left already for his training this morning; I opted out until Wednesday - and I'm glad I did.  I woke this morning about 3:15AM with a sledgehammer headache.  No - I had not been drinking - I can only contribute it to the rain we are to get late afternoon, according to the weather report last night.  I finally got up about 5:30AM and took 2 Tylenol extra strength - they haven't done much.  I had a Vicodin (an expired one) and just finished taking it; hoping it will take effect real soon.  I got to get moving.  My neck hurts too, so wonder if it isn't part of the problem.  Oh well; I'll feel better once I get my attention off of me.

Today is the first day of 2024.  We went to bed about 10:15PM last night - watched a movie, then hubby slept through/watched the news.  Didn't take long for us to fall asleep, since that is past our normal bedtime.  But man, sure which I could have not woken up with the headache!

We will be heading over to my daughter's around 10-ish to get started on the ribs and get them in the oven.  She really doesn't need me there; she can sear the ribs and put put in the oven herself, but I did tell her I'd be over.  I'll touch base with her soon and see if she really wants me that soon.  Ive been lazy somewhat thus far - it's 8:37AM - I've been reading / sleeping / anything trying to get rid of this headache.  Just fixed some toast and ate it, hoping that will help.  

Yes, we will be having the traditional BBQ ribs, black-eyed peas and coleslaw for lunch.  I don't know if my daughter has anything else planned or not.  I think I'll take the rest of the chips we have - we've been eating them - but eating potato chips and losing weight just don't seem to go together, and I got on the scale yesterday and discovered I had gained back in a week the weight I had lost.  So, yeah, got to get back focused again.

Our fast starts next Sunday and we are still discussing.  I know what I want to do...  hubby wants to fast, but not like me.  I think I mentioned he offered to give up TV - and I am so thrilled for I can get some real reading done, rather than trying to work it in an evening here and there for a couple hours.  Granted, I do get sleepy sometimes while reading.  But I will also need to start studying as our Monday night classes will begin on January 22nd.  I want to be prepared to start immediately and not hunt for answers.  It's been several years since I've taught Discipleship and I have thrown away all my notes so am starting fresh on this teaching.  Kind of wish I'd gone with a workbook, but I didn't, so I will study and prepare and dive deeper.

And that is my goal this year - to dive deeper into the Word and in to God.  I want to know Him more.  I want to change the way I live my life; I want to emulate Jesus.  That is my goal this year.  Not to lose weight; although that would be nice.  Not to get stronger, although I will also work towards that goal.  Not to retire, although I do wish that could happen.  I want to be like Jesus.  I want to walk so close to Him that the dust from His sandals gets all over me.

As we start this new year, I pray that you will be enlightened with the Word of the Lord.  I pray that you will find the fountain of Life.  And I pray that you will have the favor of the Lord.  As it says in Proverbs 8:32-36 - TPT

"So listen, my sons and daughters, to everything I tell you, for nothing will bring you more joy than following my ways. Listen to my counsel, for my instruction will enlighten you. You'll be wise not to ignore it.  If you wait at wisdom's doorway, longing to hear a word for every day, joy will break forth within you as you listen for what I'll say.  For the fountain of life pours into you every time that you find me, and this is the secret of growing in the delight and the favor of the Lord. But those who stumble and miss me will be sorry they did! For ignoring what I have to say will bring harm to your own soul. Those who hate me are simply flirting with death! "

Oh that this would be the year that you find yourself seeking the Lord and His favor!  That you will long to just sit with Him and hear His voice speak to you!  I pray that this will be MY year to sit with Him more, to listen for His voice more, and to just sit at His feet and worship.  Don't let another year, another day, go by without surrendering your heart to Him.  You will never regret being His!

Choose Jesus.  When you have Him, you have all that you need.  I pray 2024 will be your year of findng Him.

Blessings!

Monday already?

I am not ready for Monday morning.  My mind isn't, nor is my body.  For some reason, Macy's decided to start sending me text messages at 3:45AM and of course the ding woke me up.  A couple other places sent me a text message too right after that.  Don't they realize I don't want messages at 3:45AM??  It woke me up and irritated, I turned over to go back to sleep - after all, I had at least 15 more minutes before I usually get up... but alas, I finally gave in and got up.  So I have been trying to go back to sleep in here and I may have for a little bit.  A very little bit.   I need to make some decisions about this 4AM time... maybe move it to 5AM?  But then, it scrunches my time with God and with being able to type in here some mornings. Oh well.  It is what it is.   I am not ready for Monday morning.

We had company for dinner last night and enjoyed a good time of good food and a good game of Mexican train.  (do you ever wonder if people from Mexico will press charges against the company that makes those and say they are 'scarred for life' because their country name has been used to play a silly game?)  Stupid people with NFL and whatever the baseball league names are.   I think I heard that the Indians, I forget which ones, are suing because the Washington Redskins were forced to change not only their name but the logo - which was a representation of one of their chiefs - who had posed for the photo.  People are stupid.  Not the Indians, but the people who push for silly name changes because they think someone might be offended.  And how many people (and animals) have they called 'stupid' and 'idiot' - and yet, they are never called out for labeling someone and degrading them.  Ok - I'm rambling and enough said.

We had an overall good weekend, I think.  Church with Jentezen Franklin yesterday was good - our church had Pastor Mike (our worship pastor) speak and he was awesome!   

Matthew 22:35-40 (NKJV):  "Then one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question, testing Him, and saying, 'Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?'  

Jesus said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like it; you shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

One thing Pastor Mike brought up from this scripture, is that if we know God and are following Him, we love Him, BUT, the second commandment is harder - because you cannot love others if you do not love yourselves.  How can you love others if you don't love yourself?  For you treat them how you feel you should be treated.  If you don't love yourself, you treat others as unloved as well.  Does that make sense? The way Pastor Mike explained it made a whole lot more sense.   It was an awesome service and he spoke the Word and the Word was truth.  You just had to be listening and apply it to your self.  

Bottom line - Love God, and Love Others.   That is the first and second commandment.

I was able to watch almost all of the Perry Stone service yesterday afternoon.  It was a powerful service too.  In fact, it was so powerful, Jentezen Franklin, as whose church he was speaking, asked him to come back tonight and tomorrow night at 7PM EST to speak again.  He did say one thing that I picked up on....

The war in Israel with Hamas is not a political war.  He said it is a 'religion' war.  If Hamas wins and succeeds in killing all the Jews, then the god the Hamas people worship is real.  If Israel is not demolished... then their God is real.  Well, we know which God is real... but it put a new twist on what is happening right now.    

Perry Stone gave a lot of information about the history and what is going on now... very interesting - and even more so about how the devil is doing his thing in the world.  I will have to watch tonight's program later as I have my gym appointment at 5PM and it will start at 4PM here.  I can listen to part of it before I head over.  I thought about changing my appointment but decided against it.  I've already been told it's 'legs' tonight... sure hope I can walk to my car afterwards!

So how are you doing on the 'loving others' situation?  Do you love yourself to where you can love others?  Maybe you need to sit down and think about it.  What is it about yourself that you don't 'love'?  We usually think about our appearance, our hair, our weight, our looks.... but let's take a look at the inside - for that is what God sees.  What is it on the inside of us that we don't like?

Is it our attitude?  Maybe we need to change it!  Maybe it is our behavior?  Maybe we need to relook at how we react to things.  Why not take a few minutes and just do an internal evaluation and see what it is that you DO like about yourself - and what you DO NOT like about yourself.  Then see what you need to change so that you can love others like you love yourself.

Some of us will need to make great changes, ya think?  I read in my devotional this morning about this guy who was constantly praying to God after he married, that God would change his wife.  He didn't go in to specifics, but that he was always praying that God would change his wife.  His wife woke up one night and found him downstairs and when she asked him if all was ok, he exploded on her and told her that he was praying that God would change her into the woman he wanted her to be... Hurt, she went back to bed without saying anything.  A little later God spoke to the man and told him it wasn't his wife that needed to be changed; it was him.  That brought about a whole nother outlook.  

Maybe we all need to look at what we want changed in others and see what we need to change in ourselves.  Maybe it is 'us'.... something to think about.

Blessings!

Could it be the weather?

 I kid you not... I have nearly slept away my morning!  I didn't get out of bed until 4:45AM, then I start reading in here - and fell asleep.  I woke up at 5:30, closed my eyes and off to dreamland again (without the dreams) and here it is nearly 6:30AM and I haven't done anything but sleep.  Thank goodness my coffee is in a thermal cup - it is still hot.  Hadn't even taken a sip of it.  I have not idea why I have slept like that - other than I cried tears with my prayers last night, praying.  They are well worth it.

But here it is 6:30AM, I have a full cup of coffee, I haven't even read past the first page in the first book I usually read.  And here I am, typing in here.  But I am hoping that with trying to think about what to write, it will wake me up cause in about 30 minutes I must be on my computer for work.  

Yesterday it seemed I couldn't do anything right - that hubby and I were not 'discussing something'.  He didn't like it I did my own laundry Tuesday (what, am I not good enough to do your laundry?  SERIOUSLY! that is what he said!)  On the way to church we had a discussion about his driving.... and I told him his driving scared me.... and at 30 miles an hour (because we left earlier than I wanted) on Bell Rd, I asked him to drive the speed limit of 40 cause he was driving like an old man..... oh yeah... that started another 'conversation'.  Lord, help!

You ever have those days when it just seems 'too much'?  Yesterday was one of those, I think, and today isn't looking promising either... I think I will just hibernate in here with work as long as I can today.  I have been made to be old before my time and inside I am dying.  Oh - and yesterday, Ms. Amy called me twice about her trees - they need trimmed and she's trying to find someone but I'm the one who has to direct them and tell them what to do.  WHINE.

Philippians 2:14 (NKJV):  "Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world."

Sigh.  I sure have failed that today, haven't I?!  Failed it yesterday too.  I really would like to take a couple days off work and do nothing... in fact, I did two things yesterday.  I looked at days when I could take time off for a few days without any problems.... and I looked at hotels nearby to get away to for a change of scenery.  Decided against both - at least for now.  Don't want to spend the money... and because nothing will be changed but location... why go?  Ok, won't go there.

Lord, help!

Yep - that's where I'm at today.  I'm exhausted (my Wednesday pills, perhaps?) from life, and drama around me, around medical concerns and I just want to be alone with my God so that I can pray and intercede for those I care about and love.  

Lord, help!  I'm calling out to You because I have no one else... because I know that You love me unconditionally, and I know that You hear me when I cry out to You.  So yes, I am crying out, "Lord, HELP".  You know the need, Lord; You know the pain in my heart for these I pray for.  I know You see me and You hear me.  Lord, HELP!

Time to get the computer on for work; teach me to fall asleep when I should be awake!  Now I have nothing to build on  except my quick prayers to my Lord.  And yet, He will always provide what I need today.

Blessings!