Trusting works - no matter what

 As I sat in the room after my tests yesterday (repeat tests; they thought they saw something the first time), I felt joy.  I was at complete peace.  I was alone, and God and I were having this conversation.  I could feel joy because if something was found, and if I died, I would be with Jesus.  But if nothing was found, and I lived, I could still share about Jesus to others.  It was a win win.  Just like Paul said....

Philippians 1:21 (NKJV):  "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

I had several minutes alone after the tests.  Yes, I prayed before the tests that nothing would be found; that if anything HAD been there, it would no longer be.  I reflected on my life; have I made a difference in someone's life.  Oh, the devil was throwing thoughts at me too - 'they're taking a long time because they found something.  Your life is going to be miserable.  Think about how you will tell everyone you are going to die.  How will your children react at the news?...."  and on and on.  

I finally spoke to my mind and told the devil to go back where he belongs - HELL!  And I had such peace because I know that I know that I know, I am in the palm of my Savior's hands.  No matter what the results were.... I am first of all, HIS.  And He would walk with me, and carry me, through whatever came at me.

BUT - and here is the GOOD news!!   Whatever they thought they saw at my first testing.... they no longer could find.  Hallelujah!  I was not afraid; I was at peace.... and when they came back into the room after the radiologist read my reports from the two tests.... it was determined I was fine.  Follow up in one year as normal.  Yeah, it's a normal yearly test.  

And yes, I was thanking God and praising Him for the good report.  I know He isn't finished working IN me yet, and hopefully He will continue to direct me to where He wants me to be to share Him with others. I'm not sure what His plans are for me, but I have asked to keep me focused on Him and eyes opened to opportunities to share Him with others.

This morning, as I read in the New Testament, it's odd, but something drew me back to the beginning of my Bible.  I still don't know what, other than the Holy Spirit, but I believe I am to start over in my Bible once again now, rather than at the first of the year.  So I started reading in Genesis again.  There is so much treasure in my Bible!  I wish I had more time to read it.  I need to make more time, but I really do enjoy just reading it in here in my morning time... but with hubby leaving the TV off last night, I was able to read some in my Bible.  I just get distracted when others are around.  I want to focus on God's Word and inhale it; memorize it; know it.  

God changed my life; He changed who I was; He is making me into who He wants me to be.  After years of heartache and struggles, He has blessed me and has made life much easier.  I still go through heartaches, but He walks with me through them.  I truly am lost without Him holding me.

Until you have that type of relationship with Jesus, until you give Him yourself, you will never be satisfied.   You will never feel peace.  You will always feel troubled, confused, disoriented, and distracted by life.  You will feel like you are just missing 'something' that would make you whole.  Your family doesn't feel right.  So much uncertainty, distractions, confusion, frustrations abound.  And in the meantime, you cry out for peace, for joy, for comfort, for love.  You don't want to just know it, you want to feel it.  Yes, there is a difference.

For example, I know my children love me.  Well, I'm pretty sure they do.  But when I get a text, a phone call, a note, an acknowledgement of any kind - from one of them, I get the feeling I am loved.  Does that make sense?  If you stop and think about it; I think you have experieneced those emotions too.

Jesus gives us the peace, the love, the comfort that we seek.  He is the only way to the Father.  If you want to go to heaven to be with those you love who passed before you; grandparents, parents, siblings... you need to think about which way you are walking.  Are you walking to life, or are you walking to death?  Life is only found in Jesus.  Choose to live.  Following Jesus isn't hard at all.  It's all about your choices.

Keep looking up, Jesus is the only way to our Heavenly Father.

Blessings!