I was feeling ok yesterday morning. I was good through the drive up to where my granddaughter was to meet us for the knitting class. As we walked through the food court (arriving a bit before time), my right eye started watering some. Odd, but I thought I had gotten something in it. Then the vision started getting weird. Wasn't sure what to think. We walked some more, and eventually met up with the granddaughter. Class was starting and I sat in the back... when the lightening bolts began and my vision was all screwed up. I couldn't see to help. I knew I had thrown a packetof tylenol in my bag - but which one. I searched my purse; not there. I got my daughter's keys and went to the vehicle, praying that God would help me find them. He did. In the bottom of my suitcase, there was the packet. I opened and took both pills without water. I didn't care; I inly knew I needed to get them in me. I was lightheaded and with flashing lightening bolts in both eyes, I wasn't seeing too well either. Went back into the class and was quiet. After about 20 minutes, which is the usual, it seems... the visions disappeared and my head cleared, vision restored. The last 45 minute sor so I felt ok enough that I could hep a couple of the attendees with learning how to do 'cast on'. But it felt like it drained me and once I got home, I started getting the 'drill' from hubby.... he has to live life through me so wanted to hear every detail... which I didn't feel like talking a lot. I gave him info about the conference enough to satisfy his curiousity and then I told hubby let's go to dinner at Cracker Barrell - you can get a meal to take home for $6 (like Olive Garden at times) right now - so purchased also a couple meals for luch today. We didn't talk much, although hubby tried to make me talk.
After the ballgame, he left the TV off and we sat quietly; me crocheting and him going through his phone. Finally a little after 8PM I told him I was going to get ready for bed. He had been asleep in his chair the past 20 minutes, but he said he was listening to his phone with his eyes shut. Ok. Whatever. We were in bed by 8:30PM and I was awake early this morning and got up and tried to go back to sleep in my chair. I'm feeling foggy somewhat so am undecided on whether to go to church or not. I know I will be glad I did go to church; I'm just not sure I want to get cleaned up to go to church. If I stay home, I'm pretty sure hubby will too. Well, at least I don't have to fix lunch! Will watch on the computer, I think. Just don't feel like cleaning up this morning. Not really an excuse, is it? I am a bit concerned about the loud music; the 'loud enviornment' comes up on my watch every week. It came on several times during the Friday night worship time - yeah, it was loud.
I love starting my morings with God; reading my Bible. I found my CD player and want to find a place to put it in here so that I can play music softly during my quiet time. Sometimes I just want worship music while I sit and spend time with Jesus. I really do need to work on this corner; I have books stacked everywhere and I need to put some on the bookcase that I've read or will not be reading for awhile yet. I can only read so many at a time! Which reminds me; my sister sent me a book which arrived this weekend called "Pray First" It has more in the title, but it's in the other room and I can't remember it all. It's by Chris Hodges and I started to read it last night, but my head was not absorbing any of it so quit. Maybe this afternoon I will feel like reading it. I need to send her a thank you note. I do have my books here I read (other than myBible) which I will grab one after I finish this. I'm grateful I can stay in here until at least 8AM today but I'm sure hubby will come in around 7-7:30 and ask if I am going to church; are we going to watch Jentezen at 8AM, etc. He can't do much without me. He won't bring up the computer for any service; I have to find it. Sigh. I just keep praying..... for him and for me.
Ephesians 4:17-24 (NKJV): "This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness."
When we accept Jesus as Lord, we become new in Him; all the old stuff passes away. True, we still have to suffer the consequences of what our past has come up with, but the plus is that Jesus will walk through any trial with us. And trust me, the trial I feel I am in at times now.... I would not still be here if I didn't have Jesus walking with me. I can do nothing without Him; but I can survive anything with Him. Make sense? This morning I thought about some of the things that I have been dealt with over the years... at the hands of those I love dearly. For one, I have realized that jealousy if the problem. It took me awhile to realize that; I really thought the problem was me. But it isn't. This person is so jealous that I have been able to let go of the past and live in the future..... they will attack me verbally and bring up the past as if it is all my fault. Bringing up things from 60 years ago. 50 years ago. Sadly, it isn't the first time.... the first few times I was devastated and worked at trying to make things right. Now...... I have learned to just step back and leave them alone; let them process. They need me in their life and will come around again. I love them, I will always love them.... but I don't have to allow them to speak to me the way they do whenever they are angry about something else entirely; only directing their anger at me. Oh well... enogh of that.
I no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk.... I choose to walk with Jesus and He will straighten me out when I stray. He will draw me back close to Him; to keep me focused. I'm so grateful for that. Thankful for the twinges that may come when I choose wrongly. Those twinges keep me close to my Savior.
I need to get off here... and try to nap some before making a decision if I'll get dressed and go to church. I'm feeling very tired right now. Must not have slept well.
Hope you are doing well... praying you will have a blessed day; a day full of joy and well-being; a day full of God's blessings. Why? Because I asked Him to give them to you.
Blessings!
