At 5AM this morning I hear a vehicle motor going by real slow. I keep listening, finally going to look out my window and see two pick up trucks that are nearly in front of our house. Then I remember. Ms. Vicky is having a new roof put on her house this morning. Yesterday the shingles were delivered and put on top of the house. This morning I have heard various movement out there that they are preparing to make some noise! Actually, the noise I hear at the moment is the landscapers out there trimming hedges and mowing the grass. Such grass that there is. It's almost like why bother to mow it - our front yards are nearly all dirt. Another gripe of mine. Anyway, the landscapers are making their noise and before long we will hear scaping off of shingles next door and then the consistent pounding of the nails into new shingles. Oh joy. Will I need an excedrin by the time they get done?
Got to straighten up the house this morning as our house cleaners will be coming around noon. Yeah, we run around and empty trash cans and pick up our things off the floor so that they can clean. Except my closet. Sigh. I really do need to get in there and clean it out. I just shut the door now. Third month in a row. I must make the effort to get in and let go of t-shirts I don't wear anymore and things I don't need to hold on to. I've been lazy in that respect, and I need to get it done. Right?
My board meeting scheduled on August 14th has to be moved so as soon as I get it moved, I am taking the day off. I already have the 15th and 16th off. It's our 43rd anniversary - can you even imagine that?! I was going to take off immediately after the board meeting, but now that I have to move it, I can just take the entire day off. But first, still working on when to move it. Hope to get that resolved today. Yesterday was a nightmare for working on meetings and I really got irritated when one of the directors and their associate directors were telling me to do what they should be doing. Yeah, they think I should get the dirty work and I really don't have a choice in the matter, but I was irritated they dumped it on me. And I have no clue how to do it - and told the director so! But, I will have to find out and do it anyway. All the other departments I support take care of their own departments - but this one - and yes, it is the male boss's lineage - they dump even the littlest things. I was annoyed, to say the least. Suck it up buttercup; you gotta do it anyway.
I read some more in my book last night and although it is similar to some books I have read, it is different. Hard to explain. Anyway, last night I was reading about solitude. You know how I love my alone time with God. But it was also talking about taking the time alone to just 'be'. You know, not keep the mind reflecting on so many tasks that you have before you, or all the troubles that beset you, but to just be still.
Psalm 46:10 : Be still and know that I am God.
Yeah, you know, THAT verse. Be still and know. Sometimes when I can 'be still' I will sit with my eyes closed and allow the quietness to surround me. Other times, especially if I am outside, I enjoy leaving my eyes open and just looking around me and seeing the beauty that God has created. The key here in all this is just to 'Be Still and Know'. And it is better to even to continue with the 'that I am God'. He created you in His image. He created all your children in His image. Do you not think that we should pause and think of Him and thank Him for all His goodness to us?
I really got hung up on the chapter about solitude and may go back and read it again. Hubby had the game on when I was reading that chapter so had to reread several sentences. And he was making his comments often enough I finally asked him to stop as I was trying to read. I don't care 'strike him out!!' or 'come on, we need a home run!' if I'm not reading - but come on! If someone is reading and you want to watch TV - fine - but be quiet! Right? It's bad enough the tv was on! Anyway, I have purchased a couple books about solitude and I think that I will dig those out and read after I finish this book. I haven't gotten to them yet, I don't think.
I felt towards the end of last year that I needed to create a women's retreat and invite a few women to go on at least an overnight or two day retreat. I need to create an agenda for it, of course, but a large portion of the time would be spent in solitude and prayer. I really had a burden to do that earlier this year, but life happens and things happen and it got put on the back burner. I still want to create a small women's retreat - go to a hotel for a couple nights and make it one in which the women could get closer to God, and help them find their way when they struggle. Find whom they can run to when their heart is broken and hurting. Lord knows that my heart has been broken and beaten up many, many times over the years. Sometimes the pain is so great from the breakage I don't know if I can make it - and yet, He draws me close to His heart and brings hope and healing.
Do you ever feel that your heart hurts so bad that nothing can bring healing? There is something, actually, there is some One who can bring healing. He wants you to bring the broken pieces of your heart to Him, and He will put them back together for you. Perhaps not in the way you want Him to - but it will be better. I promise. He has taken the broken pieces of my heart, my life, and put them back together in ways I would never have thought possible. Even now, when I hurt so bad I don't know what to do, I surrender my heart to Him, for I have no place else to turn. He is always waiting to hold me close and He is waiting for you to surrender your problems to Him and your broken heart to Him as well. Will you let them go? He can put things back together faster and better than you could ever do on your own. "let it go" as the movie Frozen says.
Blessings!
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