Hubby made an 'offhand' comment this morning when he brought my coffee to me. Sigh. What about? My snoring. I can't help it. I have no control over it. Yes, he has worn ear plugs for years. When I am really tired, or if I take a tylenol or ibuprofen before I go to bed and then go in to a deep sleep.... yeah, it could probably be just as bad. And I took a tylenol last night because I had a headache brewing (probably due to our wonderful weather conditions). I have already made a mental note to discuss it with my doctor when I go see her in September for my well-being physical. Want to talk to her about a couple other things too, such as getting a base chest x-ray and EKG. I haven't any either of those in over 5 years, since I changed from my 'old' doctor on down. I still have fits of coughing in the mornings - which I still say is from the trip up north and sleeping in a room that had strong disinfectant smell. My lungs haven't been the same since. Not going into that one now.
But it annoys me when hubby has to make his snide comments about my snoring. He snores too - and sometimes loudly. I don't bother to say anything. Some day he will MISS my snoring - right? Is my snoring MY fault?
Years ago I did ask one doctor about my snoring.... he told me to lose weight. So I've added about another 30 pounds. Got even with him, didn't I! Actually, I didn't add weight intentionally..... I love food.... what can I say? I make it, I eat it! Besides, it isn't all my fault! Hubby came home from Walgreens the other day with a large package of double-stuff Oreos he bought for me. AND a small box of Cheezits!! BUT - the Oreos aren't doing anything for me... he bought gluten-free and they have no taste. NONE. And I heard that because they took the gluten out, they have other things in there that make you fat. Yes, I'm eating them, but not like I would if they were the 'real thing'. But I have been in the Cheezits. I love them. He said he bought them for himself.... but I opened the box yesterday and got into them. Teach him to give me something gluten free. I don't think he even noticed what it was; just saw Oreos. Sometimes he just doesn't 'read' what he's getting or understand what it means.
I stayed home alone last night and thoroughly enjoyed my quiet time. I did watch a movie - 'Love at the Lodge' - which was sweet, then turned the TV off and got to read for about an hour before hubby came home. Loved having me some quiet reading time. Hubby had some 'attitude' when I didn't put my book down to let him tell me what they did. When I finished the chapter I put the book down and let him talk.
With taking a tylenol last night I didn't wake up until hubby jumped up nearly 5AM so I'm running behind this morning on my usual routine. And you know what? That's ok. I needed the extra rest. Work is stressful and a little extra sleep helps me get through it - right?
I knew I should have brought my book in here I was reading last night! There was something in the book that stood out and I thought when I read it that I wanted to share it with it. I'm not getting up now to get it; I probably couldn't find it. But it is talking about being in a desert place.
Desert Place. You know what that is. When everything seems impossible; nothing is working; life is a struggle; and you feel so alone in all the troubles. That's one way of looking at it. But a desert place for people can be something different thing for each one. I feel like I go through desert places fairly frequently anymore. I have lost my identity, I feel. It's hard to explain what that means, but I don't feel I am who I should be, or want to be. I feel in 'left field'. And I blame it mainly on working remotely and not being around people like I have been for years. I love people and I love being around them, being a part of their lives, and them a part of mine. And now, more often than not, I am basically 'alone'. And being alone isn't always a good thing.
Sometimes it is, for you know I love my alone time, but that is because I feel I have an attachment at times. I can't do things I want to do. And I've gotten to lazy to do some of the things I can. Oh if I want to work out, it's a good thing! But go for a walk? That's totally different. So I have grown lazy and it is my fault. I need to just do it and make myself do things.'
My granddaughter was going to make bread yesterday or today, I think. Her mama and I are splitting a loaf and I can't wait. Her sourdough bread is amazing. Yes, it's bread and I eat too much of it, but it is what it is. I'm not turning down bread. I would love to try my hand at it again. The last time I made bread? Probably back in the 70's. Believe it or not, the economy was such that I was given $5 for groceries each week, and I was able to get potatoes, and one or two packages of meat. We ate lamb and pork chops a lot. Oh, and hamburger. I fried up pork steaks frequently. Yeah, drenched in grease. LOL Because we didn't have a lot of money, I learned how to cook a lot of things from scratch. It was then I started making homemade noodles. They do taste better than just storebought noodles, don't you agree?
Hmmm maybe I'll check in to an attachment for my mixer and find a pasta one - I could make my own noodles - wouldn't that be fun! I still make some things from scratch, but not as often. I enjoy creating new things and giving them away. I made this great frozen dessert a couple weeks ago with strawberries. So easy to make. I do want to make more and give it away. I think we have one piece left in the freezer. Hubby was eating it while I was gone.
Why don't I make more things from scratch anymore? I don't know, really. I mean, cookies and cakes from 'scratch' isn't the same as creating a dish from scratch, is it? I have a lot of cookbooks and oftentimes I think I want to grab one and just start going through it, making things. But then, who would eat it all? My children live too far away to be running it out to them all the time. And maybe they wouldn't want it. My neighbors will take it, but then they feel obligated to me... and I don't like that. I want them to enjoy it without feeling they have to reciprocate.
And my thoughts are rambling this morning over making things from scratch and I think I'll just hush.
Remember Elijah in the Bible? After God defeated all the idol priests and Elijah killed them all (wasn't it about 900 of them?), Jezebel threatened Elijah's life and he ran away. Leaving his servant in a small town, he ran out in to the desert. Exhausted and depressed, he asked God to just let him die. He felt he was nothing; had nothing, and deserved nothing but death. He fell asleep, and was awakened by an angel who told him to eat and drink, and Elijah saw bread being baked on a rock near his head. So he ate and drank, and fell back to sleep. The angel woke him again and told him to eat and drink for the journey was long. So Elijah again ate fresh bread and drank the water.... and then journeyed 40 days and 40 nights without food and water to Mount Horeb, God's mountain. He went up to meet with God. And God spoke to him. You really need to read this!! There is so much written in this scripture that gives you pause and you think how much better your life would be if you would listen when God speaks to you. He does it in so many ways!!
Seriously - read 1 Kings starting with chapter 17. Elijah is introduced in chapter 17 I believe, and then read through to 2 Kings 2 It tells of all Elijah did. I often have prayed that like Elisha, who followed after Elijah, that I would receive a double mantle of Elijah.... and when I do, my life gets turned upside down. But that's another topic for another day.
Read about Elijah - and Elisha, for that matter. They both are my favorite prophets in the Bible. I want to be like Elijah and Elisha - fearlessly proclaiming the Word of the Lord and standing firm on His promises.
God is good, and He is faithful at all times. Even when we are going through our desert place, He is still there, waiting for us to listen. Sometimes we need to shut out the world, all the noise, and just wait. And when you wait, you will hear His voice. Listen.
Blessings!
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