We went to Coco's for breakfast and I bought a dutch apple pie to take down with us. I drove. It was an easy trip and highway nearly all the way. We walked in and I think the women remembered me - or they are overly friendly to all who walk in. LOL Yeah, that's probably it. Anyway, we first asked for th restroom key cause hubby needed to use it in a hurry. Sent him on his way. When they were finished with customers, I put the pie on the counter (along with some of the no-bake cookies) and told who I was and I was there to pick up my glasses. As a 'thank you', I brought the pie and cookies. Of course, both of the women said I didn't need to do that, but they appreciated it. We decided that instead of turning around and leaving right away, we'd walk around for a bit since we had been sitting for over an hour in the car. We did walk around. And when I suggested we leave, hubby suggested we go through a couple more rows. He liked this place. He ended up getting a t-shirt and hat he liked.... and I picked up a few things - some strawberry rhubarb jam (for hubby) and pure maple syrup (for some recipes I want to make), a couple small vases, and you won't believe what I found! I have seen these before but had forgotten about them. It is a small one, but it will work. It is a nut breaker. It's a small jar with a metal lid, and on top of the lid is a gadget with sharp pieces of metal (I can't think how to explain it), that you drop the nuts inside that metal container and turn the handle and the nuts are broken up. Long way to explain it, but you get the gist, right? I usually take a long sharp knife and a cutting board to cut the nuts on - will see how this works when I need to. After walking around for over an hour, we headed back home and got home in fairly good time.
I did go see Ms. Vicky yesterday and she was happy. Said she had been lonely. She had also fallen yesterday morning and was still in some bruised pain. She had fallen in the shower and luckily her roommate eventually heard her yelling for help and helped her get up. I probably need to try to go see Ms. Diane today sometime.
But first, I need to get moving soon and get in the shower and ready for church. I will be honest to admit that I had been hoping that hubby would say he didn't want to go today. He kept me awake most of the night with his tossing and turning. And, after all, he didn't go last week as I wasn't home, and he said he had a slight headache and queasy tummy last week. And he may have. I just think he didn't want to go without me. He did drive over there and drop off the school supplies I had bought, but then turned around and left. We really do need to find a place that we can call 'home' and hear from God. I've been struggling this morning and asking God is this telling us we need to leave? It took us two years to leave from a former church; I used every excuse I could come up with to stay, but it came to the point that God made sure we would leave; we did. It feels like we have been searching ever since. Where does God want us to go? I don't know, but I long for a place where we feel His Presence and learn about Him and can feel like we are 'home'.
Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV): Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
I think of this verse often for it feels like how I feel a lot of times. I haven't 'made it' yet. I'm not totally 'on my way' yet, but sometimes we need to let go of the things we hold on to and look to what is ahead of us, because there is a goal set for us in Christ Jesus.
I think of it in church terms because that is the troubling I feel. We don't want to be 'church hoppers'. We want to find a church that preaches Jesus and the Bible; and truly worships each week and doesn't put on a performance. Ten times through the same chorus is too much! 45 minutes to sing three or four songs is too much. I feel I just 'shut down' when that happens. I may be caught up in worship in the beginning, but by the time we repeat and repeat and repeat.... I can't do it. I shut down. Why is that? A place where when the pastor preaches the people of that culture doesn't yell and scream during the message. (oh yes, it happens, and I think the preaching is punctuated as such to get that response. Is it a builder-upper?).
I remember when we were going up north and the pastor would be preaching and occasionally would throw in a 'yahoo!' - it would irritate me because the point he was making was good, but when he made the 'yahoo', I lost the entire message in my mind. Am I just being weird? Am I just too set in my ways from 30 years at the same church and growing and learning all that time? I'm really struggling and I keep asking God if He is trying to make it plain to us by our uncomfortable feeling that we need to leave? And if so, where does He want us to go? Oh it is a struggle. Yes, I think I could just stay home and watch Dr. David Jeremiah or Jentezen Frankling, or even Ashley Woodard on the computer on Sundays and get a lot of out of the messages. But we would not be in community or in fellowship.
I will be so glad when November comes and the RV preaching starts. I will be very busy this year and we won't be going to our church much as some months I speak 2-3 times a month! Would they even miss us? In a couple churches past, they would ask for the dates we would be gone so that they could pray for us if we were speaking. I miss the connection and the love that was shown. Yes, they know I speak of the RV parks over the winter months, but it's like 'they are small and are of no real value, it's not a real church, so what a blessing you are to preach to them'... it is attitude, I think. Not that I am anyone special, for I am definitely not. But we love the people at the RV parks; especially the one here in town that I speak at the most, and they include us and love us and want to share life with us when we are together.
So what I do, (and should/must do) is let go of what is behind me, and look to what God has for us in the future. Being patient is not one of my virtues and it is hard. But I keep asking God, "where do You want us to go; what do You want us to do?" I want to be putty in His hands. I'm getting older, yes, and soon will be ending yet another year. But I know that God isn't through with me and I know that He has plans for me. But what and where and how and when....He just hasn't revealed yet. Whether we haven't seen it yet, or refuse to look for it.... I pray that He will reveal His plans and purposes for us soon. It is painful to be in this waiting period. And it's definitely not fun.
And enough of my ramblings this morning.... need to jump in the shower soon. Hope that your day is amazing!
Blessings!
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