Flashes of Lightening...

 Yesterday morning was a typical first Saturday morning of a month.  I got up, came in here and did my time with God.  I wrote in here about a dream I had had.  I got dressed; ate some yogurt for breakfast, got my things together, and headed to Needles of Hope.  All seemed fine.  It was looking to be a beautiful day.

As I sat in the group at Needles of Hope... the flashes of lightening started in my eyes.  No intense pain, just as before.  But the flashes of lightening seemed worse this time.  I could look at other people and could only partially see them.  The lightening bolts were steadfast and would not move.  My silent migraine, as I call it, was alive and active, and I have no idea what brought it on.  The lightening bolts lasted for about 20 minutes, then went away.  A dull ache centered in the center of my forehead, between the eyes.  It was there most of the day.  .

As the day progressed, I pushed through it.  My daughter and I went to look at 'mom/grandmother of the groom dresses'.  We found a couple but opted against buying anything just yet. In fact, I had already ordered a dress from Macy's and received notification yesterday it was ready for pickup.  I may run over some time today and pick it up.  I'm hoping it will be way too big.  SIGH.  I ordered two sizes larger than what I normally look at because I know sizes do not run true... and the size chart they had ...well, it showed me I needed the larger size.  If it is close to fitting, I'm set.  If not, well, I'll keep looking.

After that one stop I headed home, stopping at Sam's Club to pick up a few things; I had made salsa a couple nights ago, not knowing hubby had already eaten the chips we had.  So - picked up more chips (just what we need, right?) and a few other thigs.  Once home, found hubby asleep.  The TV was on.  He was out cold.  I brought in the groceries, put them away.  I sat on the couch and crochet'd some, waiting on him to wake up.  Finally I got up and came in here to call my little sister and we chatted nearly an hour... and I hear him get up.  He stops by my door and asks "when did you get home?".  He couldn't believe I had been home over an hour and he had slept that entire time.  I was in bed by 8:30PM as I was exhausted by the constant dull pain.  I actually slept all night without waking up, until 4:45AM this morning.  Unusual, for sure.  Hubby stayed up a bit so I don't know when he came to bed - and he slept in until about 5:30AM I think.  Ah... you needed to know all that, didn't you?

Seeing flashes of lightening always reminds me of a chorus in the Revelation Song.

"...Clothed in rainbows of living color / flashes of lightening, rolls of thunder / Blessing and honor, strength and glory / and power be to You the only wise King, yeah....

....Holy, holy, holy is the Lord, God Almighty / Who was and is and is to come, yeah / with all creation I sing praise to the King of Kings / You are my everything and I will adore You / Holy holy, You are holy...."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-Gxjtd6Wp4

Flashes of Lightening, rolls of thunder... what in the world is going on with my head?  I mentioned the lightening to my eye doctor the other week and they didn't think it was anything to do with my eyes.  This is about the third time within a couple months I think.  If it continues to do this, I may schedule an appointment with my PCP to get a referral for a MRI or neurologist or whatever to check it out.  I can always imagine things happening.  I call it my silent migraine.  But I haven't had migraines in over twenty years.  And I'm reminded of a friend who had things happen (don't remember what) that blinded her...and in an eye doctor checking for the blindness... sent her to a neurologist an she was diagnosed with MS.  Don't want my thoughts to go there.  It's just a weird thing.  There was one other time that my right eye lost it's sight several months ago.  But I had gotten a deep massage and he had spent a lot of time on my neck.... so I figured he had just messed with something that affected it that one time.  It had only lasted a short time and did not give the lightening bolts.  Interesting, to say the least.  I'm taking notes so will have if it happens again.

Next Sunday is my last preaching time this season.  Won't have again until November.  I need to work on tweaking the message I've started on.  It will be on John 15.  Yeah, go ahead and look it up if you are curious.  I'll share more later, perhaps.  I usually do when it's on my mind.

Hubby suggested yesterday we stay home today and watch Jentezen Franklin (Free Chapel) for church. I actually agreed, for I'm still not 100% head clear, and with the loud worship, am a bit concerned it might trigger something in the head.  Usually I would say no, we are going (didn't he also ask that last week?)  I think he misses the times we stayed home and watched Jentezen on TV (he is also on You Tube - check the services out!).  We definitely had worship here at home and many times felt God's Holy Presence as we watched the service, and it would last throughout the day.  It was always so peaceful.  I kind of miss staying home and not getting dressed up too.

Don't go to church and don't want to mess with going?  Find a church service you can watch and listen to.  We are called to be in community with other believers, but because of COVID, I've learned that we can attend church via computer live - and Free Chapel / Jentezen Franklin is a great one to watch.  He preaches the Bible and speaks the Word to where you can understand it.  We haven't watched him in months since we have been going to church... am actually looking forward to watching him this morning.  He is just a servant, bringing the Word of the Lord.  I'm not setting him up as an idol... I enjoy listening to him and getting the Word from him.  Just like we do our pastor.   Just realized that the service is on at 7AM and 9AM our time.... next Sunday, March 12th - it changes to 6AM and 8AM our time due to the time change.  They are in Georgia.  (It's 9AM and 11AM in Georgia).

https://www.youtube.com/live/d7TkFPxxeh0?feature=share

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NKJV):  "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."

What words are you teaching your children?  Are they following in your footsteps as you serve God?  

Are you praying for your children, that they will be blessed and follow Jesus?

Children grow up and sometimes will follow in their parents' footsteps; other times they will live life their way.  Never stop praying for them.  Continuously give them to the Lord, for they are but on loan to you.  I think the hardest thing I ever had to do was give my children and grandchildren to the Lord.  It was painful, it really was.  But I had to take my hands off and allow them to grow in their own way.

But I never stop praying for any of them.  Hubby and I both pray for the children and grandchildren ...and we are believing that God hears our prayers and our prayers will be answered in due time.

Never stop praying; never stop believing....

Blessings!

Another quiet day at the office....

 My favorite boss is on PTO today- flying back east for a 3 week vacation.  She will be working off and on, and tomorrow will be back on the computer working, but I think it is next week she is taking the entire week off.  I think she comes back a few days before we leave on our vacation.  We will keep in touch - we do that - we are friends.  It should be a light workday unless my new boss keeps me busy - he did yesterday!  We talked first thing yesterday morning on Teams until he got a text to attend a meeting.  Yesterday was his birthday.  I'm thinking he is in his late twenties but it might be early thirties too.  Some day I will ask - not that it matters.  

I can remember working for bosses older than me.... but as the years have gone by, I can remember also when it began to change and I was older than my bosses.  At first it wasn't that noticeable... but as they years go by, I notice it more and more.  I am 10 years and about a month older than my favorite boss.  I love how she tells me that I inspire her - the more active I am and the more I do - it helps her to realize that as she is getting older that she doesn't need to quit living.  Right now she has been much more active than I, but she has a hubby who isn't afraid for her to walk alone in their neighborhood at 5AM, and he also likes to walk so he will occasionally walk with her - at her pace - early in the mornings before it gets too warm.  I tell her that her marriage is an inspiration to me... yes we have shared much over the years - I think we have known each other for nearly 30 years now, and we have been friends for as long.  Even the time we didn't work together, we would meet once a month and go walking together to catch up.  I treasure this friend and the memories we have together.

My youngest son called yesterday and we talked nearly an hour.  He wanted to upadate me on an incident that happened on Sunday.  The prayers I have prayed for this child... and his children... I still believe that one day God will answer... and yet, I know He has... but when we make our own choices - good or bad - we receive the consequences of such choices.  I want him to be happy.  I want him to be loved.  I just don't understand his choices right now.... he feels sorry for some people; they can't make it on their own... so he allows them to use and abuse him.  Not that he is perfect by any means... but he has a great life ahead of him if only he would believe in himself.  So I continue to pray that he will find Jesus in the midst of all these troubles.  

My middle child turns 50 in less than a week.  A milestone.  I received an invite to a gathering to celebrate with him.... but due to location, will probably not be able to go.  We didn't go to my youngest's retirement party at a similar location.... not that it would make a lot of difference because I don't have to drink to attend... but I struggle for I want to be a part of my children's celebration, and because we don't know his friends... we probably won't go.  I do appreciate the invite though.  I have something for him and will meet up with him soon to hand off.  There for awhile I was giving $20 to my children for their birthdays, but the last few years had stopped that... and even for the grandchildren, I've told some of them that once they graduate and have a job, they don't need $ from us.  I do remember to tell them happy birthday.  But I want to do something this year and have bought .......  :-)  

Since I've mentioend the two boys, I guess I can add on about my daughter.  I get to meet with her tonight for our 'girls night out'.  I'm trying to decide what crochet project to take to work on tonight.  It's fun eating dinner together - whether it's pizza or fried chicken from Church's - and then sitting down to catch up on life.  I treasure this time with her and there will come a time that these times will be but a memory.  She is always willing to help out family - and friends - however she can.  I know people sometimes think she is overbearing, but it is because she cares.  She - and her hubby - feel that God blesses them so that they can bless others.  And they really do try to.  Most things are done behind the scenes and are not even acknowledged.  They have always opened up their home to others.  They extend their hand to help anyone - until that person crosses the line.  

I try hard to let my children lead their own lives and not insert my own opinions. My heart often grieves for each one when they are struggling and I wish I could help, but I know that the only One who can solve their problems is Jesus.  So I do what I can - I pray.  I never wanted to be the meddling mother-in-law so have tried to not push my way into my boys' families.  You know the saying...

"a son is a son until he takes a wife; a daughter is a daughter all of her life".  

That is a true statement.  A daughter has no problem with 'running to mama' with their struggles and pains and sharing them.  A son feels like he must tough it out and does what his wife says.  Whether he agrees or not, to keep peace in his own family.  But even though they may do that, they are always deeply loved by their mama.

Think about your own children and how that has played out.   

Well, memories are flooding back on different things and I think I just want to ponder them for a few minutes before I need to start my day.  I miss my mama.  We weren't always close... various reasons.  But we did get close. Close enough I could share my pain and sadness and know that I was loved.  I miss those phone calls where I would share my day and my life.  I listened to her love and encouragement to hang in there.  Many times I would call her sobbing and she would comfort me, even long distance.  From my mama I got the saying.. "well, pray for .......  because they are going through a tough time and they need it".   I guess that is because when one is hurting, they will strike out at anyone, and many times I have bore the brunt of that hurt.

But there is One who bears everything for us - Jesus.  He took all our sins, all our cares, all the hurts and unforgiveness, all the pain... He took it all and died for each one of us.  I know I can't get through any day without His help.  Even in my failures, He is there to get me to the other side of it. When I am weak, He is strong.  When I am hurting, He is my Comforter.  When I am sick, He is my Healer. No matter what I go through, I will get to the other side, because I lean into Jesus for His help.

He's there for you too.  Rather than be alone, reach out your hand and hold on to Jesus.  You will never regret holding on.  He will get you to the other side of whatever is before you.  Hang on... cause sometimes life is hard.

Blessings.