Touching base...

 We had company over the weekend and they sleep here in my 'office', my 'quiet room', my 'reading' room, my 'writing room'.  All of those things and sometimes even 'my bedroom'.    I knew with having to move my reading, quiet time, etc. to the front room for a couple days would make it more difficult to have the quiet I need to focus on what I write (yes, I try to focus as I write), so I left the computer in the room.  We had a nice weekend and now we are back to normal and I'm in my room.  I debated on even writing this morning as I haven't  for a couple days and I said I was going to take a sabatical for awhile.  But you know what?  I missed touching base here before I start my day.  

Yes, a lot of what I write is nonsense, and some is just fill-in stuff, but it shows whoever reads this that I lived for that day.  For some reason I keep thinking of that, of which I wrote about a few posts ago.  This blog is a witness that I lived to those whom I do not see often or have contact with.  Granted, I don't know (again) who all reads this, but I vaguely know who all I gave the address to many years ago when I started it.  Who knows, at some point they may find that note and think they will read.  Does it matter in the big aspect of life?  No.  It doesn't.  

But I enjoy writing in here and have never thought that I 'had' to.  It has been a place I can share a part of my life; better than my writing in a journal.  Although that might be what I do while I am away.  I may go back to writing in my journal for I may need to remember something that I'd like to share.  I toyed with the idea of taking my laptop with me again - afterall, I did buy a backpack with that thought in might.  I thought I'd take my laptop and put it and a couple other things in my backpack and just carry on board the plane with me, and everything else in the suitcase.  I don't know.... I think it is being gone 13 days that I feel I need to check the computer - but for what?  I have my emails on my phone.  Although I can get my work emails on this computer, I don't want to be tempted to work; I want to totally disengage from work.

We leave on our trip Wednesday morning.  I see midwest White Castles on the horizon when we arrive.  My sister, who is picking us up, started that tradition years ago.  When she picks me up at the airport, she either already has the white castles, or we stop on our way to her place.  It's tradition.  It will be 'supper' for Wednesday evening.  I finally have the itinerary finalized, I think, and have sent it out to those that wanted it.  If family wants a copy of it, they can request and I'll send it over, just so they know where we are.

Sheeba will go to the pet hotel tomorrow morning.  This is going to be an expensive stay, with us being gone so long.  But, as I told hubby, this may be our very last trip for awhile so want us to enjoy it.  We are staying a week longer than we normally do so that we can spend more quality time with family.  I even gave in and rented a car for a week of the time we are there.  For right now the trip is paid for, the car is paid for.... so it's just Sheeba and whatever we do there.  But, speaking of Sheeba..... we are giving her away to a friend of a friend who already is in love with her.  Interestingly, he came over last night to spend some time with her as he had not met her before.  At first she barked at him and ran from him - which is the first time she has done that to anyone.  By the time they left about an hour later, she had warmed up to him and he took her walking up and down the block.  He is currently dog-sitting two dogs so could not take her now, but will be ready to upon our return.  Hubby and I are both struggling with this decision to let her go.  And she will be our very last dog.  Since my diagnosis of osteopenia and the doctor giving me the 3rd degree on not falling and bumping into things that could break my bones, and hubby sometimes falling as well (although he isn't diagnosed with it, he does get hurt and can break something), I made the decision we had to do something.  It won't be easy to let her go.  The gentleman who wants her lost his german shepherd about 6 years ago and is now ready to replace her.  He has a back yard in which she can run in, and a doggie door in which she can come and go.  If she can get through it.   She has gotten pretty big and at 119 pounds, lots of muscle in her body.  Hubby is already flip-flopping, and my heart is too, on letting her go.  But, she's too young to stay cooped up and we're too old to trip over her or try to walk and be pulled to the ground.  And yes, she is trained, but she loves to play with other dogs and off she goes.  Remember her pulling me across ours and the neighbors yard a few months ago?  I was lucky nothing got broke.  I asked the gentleman to think about it while we are gone and we can get back together when we return.  It's a tough decision, but a healthy one, for Sheeba, and for us.

Speaking of my osteopenia.... I picked up the medication I am to take for it.  Fosamax.  Yes, it has a lot of side effects and I'm scared to even start it.  It is one table weekly and first thing in the morning - only with water - and one has to remain upright (sit/stand) for a minimum of 30 minutes after taking it.  Only then can I have my coffee or eat anything.  Side effects include back pain, esopageal pain, ulcers, and a lot more.  This is what gets me - after 3-5 years on this - it gave several examples of people just walking across the street and get a sharp pain in the thigh - and they go get it x-rayed and the thigh bone is broken.  No bumping into anything, just walking.  Google it - and you will see all the side effects.  I have my pills, but haven't started them yet.  After reading it all, I decided I was going to wait until we returned from vacation before I started them.  I didn't want to be in pain or have issues while on vacation.  I figure that if I didn't know I had it before, I can survive 3 more weeks without having to take the pills.  I'm really scared to take them.  I talked to my brother as he had taken them... he said it gave him Barretts Disease... and they ended up changing him to another drug.... and now he takes Prolia (I think) which is a shot every six months.  Yipes.  Is that what I have ahead of me?  I know one of the things I can do is work out with weights and I am doing that now, but I need to be more consistent and work out harder.

I had 10-12 inches of my hair cut off the other day.  It was below the bra strap and I love my hair long.. but hubby does not, so I had to wear it up all the time.  I decided to get it cut and colored for our trip, and I really like it.  It is still below the shoulders and I got bangs too - although they continuously part as they always have.  Hubby's first comment when I came in (with it down, of course) was "Well, I like the color".  Isn't that nice.  I had it highlighted.  A little later he commented that I had some cut off.  Well, yes I did.  That is all he had to say about my hair.  Sigh. Everyone else I sent photos of it to (my boss, my sister), all said they loved it.  I love my hair long and I will continue to keep it long.  Some people say I'm wrong; I should cut it short because that is what hubby wants, but I tell him I am not his first wife (who wore her hair very short) and I like it long and I will wear it long.  I wore my hair short for years because of his comments about my hair.  I have rebelled the past few years and let it grow.  Even a pastor we had told hubby that a woman's hair is her glory... but that didn't matter to him.  Enough of that.

I guess I have caught you up on my life... have already started packing with the things I had laid out so that I wouldn't forget.  I never lost the twenty pounds I was hoping to have lost.  I love food too much.  But, I had cut back... but I guess my lack of movement wouldn't let me lose, and I didn't eat enough to gain (which is a good thing).  But I am about 25 pounds heavier than I was back in 2013 on our last trip.  Oh well.  Love me for me, and not for what I look like.  Body or hair.

I probably will stop writing as of today... working today and tomorrow and then shutting the computer down for two weeks.  I sometimes think of pushing the retirement issue with hubby, but I would lose all my 'freedom' that I currently have.  Not only would he take all that I have hidden away financially, but I would not be able to go anywhere.  I wouldn't be able to plan anything for he has to control all our finances and things.  I would literally be in a prison.  At least with working I have contact with the outside world.  Oh, it probably wouldn't be as bad as I make it sound, but those that know my situation, know how it can be.  I am better off working, and I think that is why God keeps me at it.  I still have to laugh at all the job offers I get in my emails daily.  I'm serious.  When my boss mentioned she was thinking about retiring but decided to wait 3-4 years until she turned 65, I checked around to see what was in my area - and found a position or two open in the same building as my doctor's office - which is 6 miles away.  Wouldn't that be great?  But, for now, as long as my boss is going to stay, I will too.  My favorite boss. :-)

Ok - need to go and get dressed; get the work computer fired up and ready to go.  I pray that you will have a good day; and a good couple weeks while we are away.  

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you.  May He turn His face toward you, and give you peace.

Blessings!

Back to work Monday....

 Yep, playtime is over and today I'm back to work.  I did 'jump on' the computer Saturday after we got home and had over 100 messages.  I worked my way through them cause most were for my bosses - meeting invites, etc.  I answered the ones I had, so hopefully I won't have too many this morning when I sign on.  It was really good to step back from work and self-charge.  I didn't realize how mentally weary I had become.  Although we didn't do anything 'special' once we got back home from our trip to Tucson, (for me, anyway) it is ok.  We read, we watched movies.  It was nice and restful.

Hubby picked Sheeba up early afternoon yesterday while I was at the grocery store.  She will probably be back to herself today - meaning getting in our way.  Yesterday she still did a lot of laying around.  She plays hard at the 'pet resort' with the other dogs.  It is really funny at times when we get a text from the pet resort with a 'message' from Sheeba about what fun she is having.  

Our carpet is getting cleaned early this morning.  I'm already wishing we hadn't scheduled it because I need to be back at work.  But, I'll ask to have this room done first, and will take my laptop to the kitchen table and work there while he does this.  It won't be too bad since I will get on at 7AM and he won't start until about 8:30AM.  I should be caught up and the short time he will be in here will be a nice break.  The floor dries quickly so I can easily come back in to work.  I do need to pick up my weight bench and weights and get them out of the way.  Hubby said he would take care of the chairs on the large dining room table.  Other than that, we don't have that much to pick up.  Need to move Sheeba's crate though.  It will really confuse her and she won't like it at all, I'm sure.

Now that our 'anniversary trip' is over, we can focus on our way too soon upcoming trip to Indiana.  I'm already wishing it wasn't so long (almost 2 weeks!) but to spend time with everyone it was needed.  There are about 3 days in the middle we could 'cut out', but needed the two weekends to not mess up work schedules too badly.  I don't plan to take my work computer so my emails will be outrageous.  But I do have outlook and Teams on my iphone and get my work messages there so can hopefully delete some while I'm away.  Just can't make any meetings.  I will need to get someone to cover for me since I am gone that long.  My one boss is self-sufficient.  My other boss starts today.  I will probably need to have someone do his meetings while I'm gone.  

Today is my little sister's birthday.  She received all that I sent her last week, and I admit I did get carried away.  I over-bought for her, but that's ok.  There were some things she needed that I knew she wasn't going to get from anyone else.  I know it isn't my place to do it, but I could, and I did.  I wanted her to have joy. 

I think that just about catches up any family who reads this blog.  Sometimes those things are what is on my mind and until I get them out, nothing else comes to me to write about.  Perhaps today is one of those times.  That and I need to work on this room and get things off the floor.  It's mainly my weights so it isn't any big deal.  And some yarn.  Ok, maybe a stack of books too.  It's all good.

My sister and I decided not to work on the Bible Study I mentioned several days ago.  We finally got our books and study guides, but after looking them over, they don't really cover what our walls consist of.  The author's husband had cheated on her and left her, I think they divorced, then they got back together and remarried.  She writes about how she felt, how she forgave him, but can't forget what happened.  Well, THAT issue has never been a problem with me nor my sister.  We have never worried about our spouses cheating on us so we decided to send those books back.  My sister had read the first chapter in the book and said that was all it was about.  So we both have this other study and I am leaning on doing it and hope I can convince my sister to do it as well.  I need to get my things together for this (journal) and then will start it.  I think I will do it whether she does it or not.  I'm just at that place right now.

Have you ever had something going on that you pray about and know that you just have to trust God for the outcome?  Yeah, I'm there.  I may talk about it in a later post, but for now, I'm just mentioning it to say that sometimes you just have to trust God. Period.  Whatever the issue is, one needs to reach out to your Creator and ask for His intervention,   He may allow something to help you grow, or to help someone else.  But one thing is certain, no matter what it is, He will walk with you through that journey.  Life is hard sometimes, and sometimes it is by our own choices, and sometimes it is not from things we have done, but what happens to us.  No matter what it is, once we ask God to intervene, once we place our trust in Him, we need to take our hands off and allow Him to do what He chooses to do.  It isn't always easy, for sure.  We want to fix things ourselves.  But some things can only be fixed by His hand.  

Like the woman who continuously went to the judge to get justice, and he, although he did not care about her, gave her what she requested.  We need to continuously bring our issue to our Father, and relentlessly seek Him.  It's like one of those questions.... "How bad do you want it?"  How bad do you want that favor, that job?  How bad do you want your healing, or the healing of another?  How bad do you want it?  Bad enough to beat the doors of heaven and pound the doors with your requests?  Something to think about.

What's on your heart and mind today?  Take it to Jesus and ask Him to intervene on your behalf, and trust that He will answer.  It may not be the answer you seek, but He will answer.  In His time.

Blessings!

Sunday....a day truly of rest.... or is that laziness

Just an update on what I shared yesterday about church.  We all need to find a church that we can feel comfortable in, one that we feel loved and part of the family.  Hubby and I did quite a bit of discussion on church yesterday.  We watched Free Chapel Church online again (Jentezen Franklin) and altho the Senior Pastor didn't speak, a pastor from one of their 'daughter' churches did and Javon Ruff was good.  It was a great message.  Then at 10AM we brought up the church we have been thinking about attending.  Prayer is big in that church, and being a prayer warrior, that is a positive for me.  We both sat there and watched the service until the pastor stopped speaking.... and it was going on 12PM.  That's what happens with live stream... it shows the entire service and this one was going on to 2 hours.

Not that we should limit God by time.  Definitely not!  I, nor hubby, could grasp all that was being spoken.  Now I have heard black pastors speak before and I know they can be amazing.  I enjoy listening to Dr. Tony Evans, for one.  They definitely know how to preach the Word.  But - and I'm not being critical, this is the third time I've watched a live-stream service of this church, two all the way through, and I'm still not feeling this is where we are to be a part.  I'm sure we would love the people, and they us; our friends go there and that is always a plus to go somewhere you already know someone.  Hubby and I discussed this quite a bit yesterday and have decided to continue looking.  We will continue to watch online until we find one that draws us.  Part of me is struggling in that my friends tell me that this church was filled with the Holy Spirit every week.  So.... because I'm not 'feeling it', does that mean that I don't have the Holy Spirit within me?  Wouldn't it draw me to where He is?  I believe He would.... unless that is not the place where He can use me, use us, for His Kingdom work.  I believe that there is a place that we are to be - we need to just continue to ask Him where does He want us to be, and trust Him to guide us to that place.  So we are currently still 'church-less' and 'searching'.    I don't want a church of convenience that doesn't touch my heart.  I want to be challenged to grow in Christ; not be content to just attend on Sundays and go home.  So there you have it.  Stay tuned for future searching.

After fixing hamburgers for lunch, hubby asked about watching a movie.  So I sat down with my crochet and we did another movie marathon.  Three out of the four we watched were very good and entertaining.  I have about 10 rows to go on the afghan I'm making and then I'll be finished.  I didn't get any walking done on the treadmill; even the garage with the door up is too hot for me to be out in it very long.  An hour and a half on Saturday just about did me in.  I 'glisten' and do not sweat... and my shirt was soaked in various areas when I finished on Saturday.  And the garage door was open to get air in there.  But I have no other place to put the treadmill.

The last movie we watched was really good.  "I'm in love with a church girl".  It's a story about a 'thug' who falls for a 'church girl'.  Long story short, she constantly witnesses to him and talks to him about what 'God says', and he begins to go to church with her, still not real convinced.  Her parents buy him a Bible with his name engraved on it.  He starts reading it.  He doens't understand all that he reads, but it begins to change him as he thinks about it.  Long story short, there is trauma and tragedy, but God still is on His throne and in charge of the world.  Great movie to watch with your spouse.  Believer or not.

Sheeba got in trouble yesterday.  While we were watching church, she went to the couch and took my good scissors off and began chewing on them.  She hasn't done that before so we certainly wouldn't expect her to chew on anything but her toys.  Hubby kept hearing her chewing - and I thought it was one of the deer antler bones we have for her to chew on.  He decided to check.... and she has chewed the plastic off one side of the scissor handle.  The scrissors were no longer usable and were thrown away.  Sheeba knew she was in trouble and kept trying to hang around me all afternoon.  Of course by the time I found out what she had done, she had already forgotten so telling her she was 'bad' was of no value.  But she knew something was wrong.  She cracks me up cause when hubby tells her to do something - whether it is to go out to go potty or go to bed.... she stops and turns back and looks at me as if she is asking me if she should go.  All I have to do is repeat what he says and off she goes.  Last night when he told her to go to bed she again turned and looked at me as if to ask 'mom, do I have to?'  I just looked at her and moved my crochet off my lap - and she came in a flying leap upon my lap.  For some reason she imagines she is this small lapdog and my lap is where she wants to be.  Hubby made sure he told me the other day that she tried to get in his lap one day last week.  Not to be left out, I suppose.  Sheeba is his dog....  so I gave her some love and told her to get down and go to bed - and off she went.

Today is Monday and after a restful, or lazy, weekend - it's back to work.  Minus one boss, it will be a long day.  This boss is pretty much self-sufficient, and even in her role it isn't enough to warrant an executive assistant...... they don't plan to replace my other boss until around August.  I know of two internal candidates..... I like them both, don't know either well, but with one I would struggle with to support as in some things I have had to email people, her being one of them, and I can think of three different instances in which she just doesn't respond to me.  At all.  No yay, nay, or anything.  No response. Even when I ask for a response.  I struggle with someone who is that disrespectful.  You can be sure if it was one of her peers she would have responded.  Will see how this pans out.... she may not get it; in fact, I hope their final decision will be for an external candidate (of which there are two) so that we can learn their style from the beginning without a background.

Morale of the weekend?  Take time to rest and recharge.  Enjoy things that take your mind off issues and problems, off work and stress.  Rest.  Recharge.  Renew your mind.   I did that all this weekend.  Hope you did too.

Blessings!