And it is now Day Three of vacation....

 What did we do on day two?  We did go out for an early lunch at the restaurant, and decided to pick up a couple chef salads to go to have for dinner last night.  For some reason, the 'girl' didn't hear correctly.  After we had placed the 'to go' order for the chef salads, she came by and asked "dinner salads size"? and I said yes, thinking it would be a good size.  And it was... only it was just a garden salad!  There was a lot of lettuce, some tomatoes and onions and cucumbers and croutons... but only one small container of dressing. Hubby got ranch, I asked for french, and got ranch.  So we did eat most of the salad, but disappointed it wasn't a CHEF salad... so saved some and we will hit the store today sometime and will pick up a bottle of dressing and some lunchmeat and bread... and who knows what else.  We're here until Sunday so can eat a lot of snacks. Just saying.  I should have packed some things from home, but did not - my bad!  Live and learn, right?

Not sure what was going on this morning... I got up about 4:30a as usual and hubby was still asleep.  He got up about 5:30a and was in the bathroom; I'm sitting here on the couch reading my bible, when the alarm goes off with three loud beeps.  Startled, I get up and start looking around, and seeing nothing. It wasn't a door alarm (I don't think), but more like the smoke alarm - but then, no one was cooking; I had only made coffee, and it isn't anywhere near the smoke alarm.  It only did it three loud beeps and then stopped. Have no clue what that was about.

We sat outside on the covered porch for a long while yesterday afternoon; hubby said we were out there over three hours.  I crochet'd and he just sat.  We looked at the clouds coming in, turn dark gray, then moved on. We never did get more rain. At least not here. We have a beautiful view from the porch and it is so relaxing to just sit out there and be quiet.  Yes, we did talk some as well.  In fact, hubby surprised me - a lot - that he was willing to move if we could find a small place with a fenced in back yard and .... named some of the things that I've always said I'd love to have again.  No HOA.  Just something that we could do whatever we wanted to with.  He doesn't think it will ever be possible, but I reminded him that it could be possible at some point.  It was interesting our discussion. Not that I expect it to happen anytime - or even anytime soon.  I've read where it is better for retired people to rent a home versus own one.  Moving is always a dread.  But, on a positive note, we generally get rid of a lot of things!

From what I've heard, my son's (non) surgery went well and I'm grateful to God for answered prayers for him. He may not have thought it was serious but anytime there is invasion of the body, it is serious.  He should get to go home today.  Thank you, Jesus!

Today is our 44th wedding anniversary.  Hubby gave me a very nice card as this trip is our anniversary gift.  I rarely buy a card, but gave him the book A Call to Die by David Nasser - yes, the very one that I am going through a second time.  I told him it was 'deep' but he could work his way through it. I don't know that he will find it as intriguing as I do, but nevertheless, he now has his own copy.  I have purchased several copies to pass out to those I think might find it interesting. It is somewhat 'deep', but it also makes you really think about things - and life.  In one of his other books that I have read, he told the story of a young belligerent man who got the book and never told a soul that he was reading it.... had actually thrown it in the backseat of his car... but eventually picked it up and started reading it - and started changing as he went through the book, turning his life around as he accepted Jesus as Lord.  

Today not much is on the agenda but I have a feeling we will be going out for breakfast.  We had a delicious bowl of chili for lunch yesterday at this Three Bears restaurant...(and where we ordered the salads)... and I saw they had biscuits and gravy.....sausage gravy.... so we may go back this morning for breakfast.... hubby's first words when he walked in here was about how hungry he was.  Salads don't usually fill him up and we only ate about 1/2 of it. I'm not hungry - yet, but it won't take long, I'm sure. Still need to go to the store, and need to get gas too as I'm down to nearly a quarter tank.

Luke 17:11-17 tells the story of ten lepers coming to Jesus and asking Him to heal them.  He tells them to "Go, show yourselves to the priest", and as they went on their way, they were healed.  But only one, who saw that he was healed, ran back to praise and thank Jesus for healing him.  Only one was grateful. Only one returned to give Jesus praise.  

Of those ten lepers who asked Jesus for healing, which one would you be?  Would you be the nine who continued on their way to see the priest and then be reunited with their families and friends..... or would you be the one who returned and bowed before Jesus in humble gratitude for His healing, before you saw the priest, before you went home to your family, before you began to live life again?  Which one would you be?  I hope that I would be the one who returned to thank Jesus.  

Who is worthy to be praised?  Only Jesus.  Who is the high priest in the order of Melchizedek? Only Jesus.  Who gets your praise - whether things go your way or not - who gets your praise?

I've loved these quiet mornings; especially before hubby gets up (we are in the same room to read/pray/write, etc.) and I am alone.  Jesus and I had a good chat this morning before I started my reading. And without having to jump on the work computer (which I totally do not miss), I was able to read several chapters (in the book of Hebrews right now) and read some of the study notes along with it.  Did you know.... naw, you can just read it yourself. LOL

And with that, I'm going to hush and get back to my reading. I'm sure it sounds like we are having a boring time, but if you know me, you know I treasure the quiet and time available just for Jesus ... to sit at His feet and worship.  To rest in His Presence.  Until you have felt that, you have no idea what I'm sharing.  There is nothing like resting at Jesus' feet.  This is why I want to get away so much; I love the time to just 'be' with Jesus. He accepts me just as I am. And He loves me.

And He loves you too.  Take great joy in that.

Have a marvelous day - pause to give thanks in all things....

Blessings!

 

I asked, He answered...

 Remember yesterday when I talked about going to the Japanese Friendship Garden for the tea tour and it was raining?  Well, we went.  It sprinkled off and on all the way there.  We got there with two minutes to spare.  They were literally standing at the gate, waiting on us.  Actually, there were only 4 of us on this tea tour - two other women and us.  Our guide, Henry, stopped us frequently on the way to the 'tea house' to talk about the Japanese culture and how green everything is in the garden.  There were waterfalls, there were koi fish in the water - it was all so peaceful, so beautiful.  Henry told us that actually that day, with it's dampness, and coolness, was the best day to attend the garden, because.... and he showed us many trees and bushes with the raindrops on them - and shared how if one allows themself, while looking at the leaves with the droplets of water, listen to the waterfalls... it can bring peace.  

And the rain stopped when we got out of the car.  We walked through the garden, to the tea house.  Inside the tea house we were greeted by two women who bowed to us and invited us in.  We were served three different kinds of tea and a few Japanese snacks.  It was very informative and interesting.  Hubby and I both chose the same tea that we liked best - I like sen cha as well, but the gamicha (or something like that) was one we both liked.  As for the snacks, I liked the sweet treat and the rice crackers, hubby liked whatever that was wrapped in seaweed.  (yeck)  We partook of the three samples of tea and ate the snacks, and then the tea was over.  They had a few items there that we could purchase (and of course I did - including buying myself a Japanese tea set.  Why not?  I also bought a bag of the tea we liked, and bought hubby the snack he liked, and I bought myself the rice crackers.  

After the tea, we were taken around outside the tea house and again the nature of the Japanese garden was explained to us.  We both really enjoyed the visit there.  I told hubby I would go again, but not for the tea, since we have done it once.  But just to walk through the garden and just feel the peace and serenity that is there.  The quietness.  We could have stayed and walked around the garden more on our own, but nature called and after that we decided to leave as it was past lunchtime.  Stopped at El Pollo Loco on the way home and got home then around 2PM.

And instead of getting in here and working on the bookcase like I wanted.... I did nothing.  No, I didn't take a nap.  But, I did come in here and just sit in my chair.  No light. No noise. No computer. No book.  I just sat here for a short while.  I didn't want to lose the peace I had felt.  Refreshing.  I needed to put a pause on my life and just rest.  By 4PM I grabbed my things and headed over to my daughter's.  We hadn't gotten together in about 3-4 weeks due to various things.  And that's ok.   

So that was my day... and it was a very good day.  God answered my prayer by keeping the rain away while we were at the garden, and I had rain all the way home from my daughter's later in the evening.  

I'm 'back at work' today.... I must admit that yesterday I was really wishing I didn't have to; that I had taken more time off (but for what?).  I did nothing productive these past two days.  Well, we went to lunch on Monday and Tuesday the Tea Garden.  I wanted to do so much here at home and yet - I did nothing.  And that's not so much a bad thing, except I'm still sitting here looking at it all.  Maybe I will feel motivated to do a shelf at a time within the next few days.  Will see.  Honestly, for some stupid reason, when hubby is home, I don't want to do anything.  I think part of it is that in the past, he would have to watch everything I sorted through - what am I getting rid of - and why - and why am I keeping that?  Yeah - been through that a few times - and now I can't even clean out drawers without feeling he will be looking over my shoulder.  Which he probably wouldn't now, but that memory is still there.

I have my training tonight at 5PM too.  I have actually developed biceps - and yes, I'm proud of them!  I think I've mentioned that before, come to think about it.  And that my DIL's biceps are much larger than mine will ever be!  Not that she 'works out', but it's her job.  So proud of her and what she does.  My trainer really worked my shoulders last Monday.  Interestingly, I wasn't sore, like I thought I would be.  Yet, it was hard doing those sets!  But, he is trying to give me some shoulders; mine have always been small.

Psalm 116:7 (NIV):  "Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."

A simple verse, and yet, it says so much.  We get so caught up in the busyness of life, spouses, children, grandchildren - jobs, activities, things we have to do, things we enjoy doing..... we get to be such busy people..... we don't take time for the rest that God has for us.

How do I know that?  Because I got to experience it yesterday at the tea garden.  I have been so mentally weary and tired, even more so than body tired.  My body has just gotten lazy, not tired.  But my mind - my mental status - has just been weighed down with so many thoughts, so many things going on that I want to do - things I can't do - and well, just life itself.  My heart longs to be free of it all so that I can truly enjoy life.... but life itself prevents me from doing that.  My soul has been distraught, longing to be one with my Creator.  Yearning for the peace that only He can offer me.  The peace, the silence, the oneness with Him.

Have you ever felt that?  That you don't want to talk to anyone.  You don't even want to think.  You just want 'to be'.  Does that make sense?  Have you ever just wanted to close your eyes and feel the closeness of God, to sense His nearness, to feel His love for you?  It is the most wonderful feeling you could ever experience.  And in the busyness of our lives, we push Him out, because we 'don't have time for Jesus' - and that is our downfall.

Oh how I wish I could take days off work (or retire completely!) and to be able to perhaps get a small water fountain to put at the back of the house, and sit outside (when it's nice out), and just relax in the holy presence of God.  Oh the thoughts of how to design that back area have come to mind - and yet, I know I will never do them.  Perhaps in the far back room I could make it my sanctuary?  Wouldn't that be nice!  And yet, it would be invaded.... some day.  I need to get rid of my treadmill... I don't use it anyway.  I should.  But I don't. .... dreaming of what I could do to find my sanctuary.... how much of a battle will it be for me... the longing, the pain of resistance... ah.... life.

And, I need to get off here and start pulling my day together.  Shower first, then on to work.  Regardless of what we feel, I pray that we all pause for a moment and thank God for today.  He created it - and gave it to us.  What are we going to do with it?  May all we do and say bring Him glory.

Blessings!

It was a good day...

 I had numerous meetings sent to me to schedule yesterday morning, so I completed what I could, then headed off to Mesa for the meeting.  I took my time getting there and since I wasn't really on a time schedule, could visit with those at the security desk for a little while before heading back to where the meeting was going on.  I went in the room and my boss came over to give me a hug. :-)  I am special.  She went back to the meeting area and I pulled up a chair at a side table and pulled out my computer to work while I waited for the lunch to arrive.  And, about an hour later, lunch arrived on time and I brought it back and set it up.  They broke for lunch and the sandwiches that were left over, I brought home.  We had some for dinner and the rest are in the refrigerator and I'm hoping they will still be good today.  There were only perhaps 4 sandwiches cut in two.  I did ask Ms. Vicki if she wanted any, but she declined.  Guess what is for lunch today!

I was pretty tired last night and went to bed around 8PM.  Hubby just doesn't understand I'm not as young as I used to be; I'm not as active, mentally or physically, as I used to be.  I do tend to get tired more easily and if I am tired, I should be able to go to bed without a lot of comments.  He stayed up for awhile.  I was still tired and sleepy when I got up this morning... and yes, I did fall asleep after he brought my coffee in. Some mornings I just can't help it; I need that extra half hour or hour of sleep.   Which is why I'd like to change my morning routine... but need to figure out what to do.

Hubby will be heading off to his Bible study this morning with his friends.  Whoo Hoo!  As I mentioned before, he was in this group a few years ago but when we moved, it was too far for him to drive to. They are much closer now so he is thrilled to be a part of that group.  We've known these men for years from our former church.  I'm glad he's going; he is lost during the day with nothing to do.  How one can stay on his computer or phone all day, I have no idea.  Perhaps it is because I have to be on the work computer all day.  I am on my phone at night more than I like to be...and I'm going to put a stop to that.  I feel like I waste so much time - when I could be reading!! - if I am on my phone just skimming through social media.  Anything important, someone will let me know, right?

So looking forward to this long weekend.  My daughter has invited us over for Memorial Day to swim and a cookout.  I love a good grilled hamburger.  And potato chips.  I suppose I should ask if I can bring something.  That would be nice.  

Sunday is Pentecost Sunday.  Tonight one of our churches is having a Pentecost service.  I'm not sure if we will be going; hubby hasn't mentioned it.  I may ask him later.  I heard that last year it was so awesome with 40 different nations showing up at this church and everyone was praying in their own language; was singing the worship songs in their own language.  Just like it was on the day of Pentecost.  Everyone heard in their own language the words of God.  I'm sure that is an experience one wouldn't forget.  

But today.... I have meetings to schedule that I didn't get done yesterday.  By 4PM I was tired and decided to just shut the computer off.  I was 'done'.   It shouldn't be too bad; I'll get these meetings scheduled this morning and since most everyone will be in 'long weekend' mode, hopefully the afternoon will be fairly quiet.  I still need to check on my computer, but I can at least step aweay if I don't have things to get done.

There is something tomorrow morning, I think... but I'm drawing a blank right now on what it could be.  Maybe I'm thinking of another weekend.... all my days seem to be running together.  

John 3:17 (NKJV):  "For God did not send His Son into tnto the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."

I watched a video the other day where someone was commenting 'would they have to give up smoking pot if they became a Christian?' and the response was 'no'.  So they rephrased it.. "would I have to give up smoking anything if I became a Christian?"  Again, the response was no.  So then they were asked if they clean up before taking a shower?  Jesus doesn't tell us we need to 'clean up our act' before He will accept us..... He accepts us just as we are - dirty, filthy people, full of sin - and as He works in us, we CHOOSE to give up the things of the world... just to be His.  He clothes us in robes of white righteousness.... because He died for us, we are washed in His blood and are clean, when we accept Him.  Oh that we all would turn from the worldly things we hold on to and let Jesus be our satisfaction!  He truly is all we need.

Praying for you today, that you will pause and know that He is God and the things of this world, man-made things, are not.  Make Jesus your God, not things made by man.

Blessings!

It's good to get away....

 Yesterday, hubby's birthday, started and ended well, I think.  We stopped at - gasp! - McDonald's - for breakfast before heading over to the nail place.  We both got pedicures, manicures, and our brows waxed. Yeah, he enjoys the pampering as well.  No polish for him, but I did get polish on my nails.  After that we came home and finished packing our suitcases, loaded the car, and headed north.  As we were coming into town, we could see the haze from the Crook Fire and the Tunnel Fire that is going on.  Smell it too - really bad in some areas.  Where the hotel is, we don't smell it, but I understand we are on the cusp of the fire.   Praying for safety for the firemen and God's favor of rain upon that area.  It did rain a few sprinkles on us as we went out to the car to get our suitcases out.

We arrived at the hotel about 2:15PM and our room was not ready.  By 3PM it was - and I'm so glad I chose to upgrade to the executive suite!  There is a partial wall separating the bed from the rest of the room.  We even have a fireplace in the bedroom!  We have a table and four chairs on the other side of the wall, then a leather couch and chiar, a coffee table, a desk/chair, a dresser and TV.  And I love we have a balcony and hope to utilize it some today.  We love going out on the balcony and drinking a good cup of coffee in the mornings.  Haven't gotten that good cup of coffee yet.  The coffee they leave in the room is nothing more than hot water with a 'touch of coffee'.  I went ahead and drank mine; hubby couldn't.  Still another half hour or so before breakfast will be ready downstairs and we can get some decent coffee.  I - on a whim (as if we NEED them), bought two 'hot' cups from Starbucks cause my plan is to use them for coffee this morning when we go downstairs and can bring it back up with us.  It's twice thesize of the cups they give us to use.  I need my coffee... think that is why my sinus' is all over the place this morning - sneezing and blowing my nose - coffee generally wakes it up and puts it back to normal. LOL  It's probably being out in the wind some yesterday as it is blowing pretty good up here.

Didn't sleep too well last night - bed was ok, but I didn't like the pillow.  The longer you lay on it, the flatter it gets so I was flipping it last night every time I woke up - which is another reason for the headache and sinus stuff going on.  Plus I was warm... I brought my 'winter' jammies cause hubby kept telling me it was to be cold up here.  Like I would be going outside much.  I do have sweatshirt and pants to wear today.  Will get him to turn the thermostat down tonight  Lots of covers on that bed.  But it is a very nice roomy moom and I'm glad we got it.

Starting my new Bible study tomorrow - may even start reading it today.  My little sister is supposed to do it with me .... I can't always depend on her... but I want to do this study over.  It was in 2013 when I completed it - and taught it - the first time.  This has been updated so hope I can get a lot out of it.  We all need to be learning every day.  (but when it's work, I don't always want to).

For the first time in all the years we have come to this hotel, they finally have a restaurant of sorts here.  It's called "Coopers Pub" and I tell you what - they have great tenderloin sandwiches - and Tom enjoyed his cheeseburger last night.  Fried green beans too!  We didn't want to go out (and I want to keep hubby from driving at night in an area we aren't familiar with) so ate 'in'.  Food was really good.  They told us they are having live music tonight from 8-12PM I think it was... but we are usually in bed by 8:30PM so probably will not go.  And that's ok.  Or we may go down for 1/2 hour or so just to listen - it is supposed to be 'country folk music' - not sure what that means.  I'm hoping it is 'just country'.  If nothing else, we get free popcorn!  (hubby didn't eat any though!)

Nothing much planned for today; going to get dressed and head downstairs for breakfast.  Then back up here to probably read for awhile.  Perhaps we will locate a bookstore and go browse.  That is always fun for me.  May go walk Hobby Lobby.  May go walk the mall.  Nothing on the agenda and nothing planned. 

For now, I'm going to change to clothes from my jammies and get some real coffee.  Hope you have a great day!

Blessings!

Groan.... it's Monday!

I made the mistake of looking of my work emails over the weekend.  I kept telling myself I "should" jump online Sunday afternoon and weed them down.  But, I did not.  And this morning - I have nearly 175 messages to respond to when I jump online.  Which I will do after I complete this blog.  I want to get an early start because my day is going to be busy with having to do timecards today.  And I saw that a couple people sent me emails that they either worked in another area which requires a special code to be inserted, or they took a day off and I need to change their time card.  Then there is the Sr Director who was showing 0.0 PTO time and I didn't know what to do and couldn't get answers from HR or Benefits or anyone else - so I put her PTO time in.  It comes up 'Regular - non-worked' and I have no clue what that means.  And I saw an email from this Sr. Director yesterday wanting to know what did I do to her timecard!  Lord, please help me, cause I don't know what I do with timecards!  And today starts the new timecard system called MyTime.  It's supposed to be easier.  But isn't that what the companies always say when they switch you to another program?  

But, I'm not going to worry about it...  all those emails will still be there when I get on the computer, and I will respond to each one - one by one.  What answers I don't have, I will seek.  But I must admit..... with having the extra two days off - even though it was for my surgery - and then the weekend, I am sorta wishing I could retire.  But I'm still working for a reason - need to get all my dental work taken care of so that insurance will cover it and I have income coming in that will pay what I have to pay.  Perhaps three years isn't so far away.  That was when my boss and I decided we both will retire.  So I'm thinking January 1, 2025.  Can I dream about it?

 It was truly a restful weekend, although I did get a little snarky last night with hubby.  He bought me lots of pudding, as I've mentioned before.  For two days I ate nothing but pudding - and that was ok.  I'm still eating pudding.  Saturday evening I ate the little bit of chicken (my comfort food).  Yesterday we ended up watching Jentezen Franklin - and he didn't pull any punches!  And the good part is that I understood what he was saying!  He called out Putin and what Russia is doing to the Ukraine.  He called out our weak government.  It was one of those 'wow' services.  Most pastors are afraid of getting political and although he doesn't choose sides, he will call out what is wrong.  

Anyway, after that service it was too late to get ready to go to church so I cooked breakfast.  I knew hubby was expecting it, and it was easier to just do it than wait him out.  So I fixed scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and applesauce with nuts for hubby, and I had scrambled eggs and applesauce.  Of course he thanked me for fixing breakfast.  I do cook breakfast at least a Saturday or Sunday morning every weekend - usually not both.

So the day was quiet and I read a lot, finished a baby blanket for 'TJ' - which is what we are going to call a grandson's baby when he arrives... they say it is a boy and is due August 15th.  Tommy Jr is what the name is to be, so TJ will fit.  The granddaughter wants to have a 'gender reveal' party in a few weeks - she knows but won't tell.  They changed the date to September 4th for her baby, so we will have two infants just weeks apart.  I have kept back some blankets of different colors so whatever gender the baby is, if I don't have the color, I reckon I will make one.

Oh - when I got snarky last night?  Well, because I cooked breakfast late in the morning, I knew hubby could get through without lunch.  After him watching the Suns plan, he wanted to watch a movie, so we did.  By the end of the movie it was 5:30PM so..... and this is where I got snarky..... I stook up and said "Well, I guess if we are going to have dinner I have to be the one to fix it cause it doesn't look like you are going to."  That wasn't too bad, was it?  I mean, he hasn't cooked a meal forever.  But one would think that since I bought chicken he could heat it up and ..... oh well.  I fixed a meal of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and broccoli - and he was very happy and ate it all.  Yes, I ate too - on the right side of the cheek. :-)  

Psalm 139:23-24 (NKJV) "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

That verse is appropriate, don't you think, with all I've shared this morning?  And that is my prayer.  I often pray that will search my heart, and know what is troubling me, and if I have wrong thoughts, help me process them and release those thoughts to the One who can change my perspective on them.  Yes, I get angry at times, yes, I get discouraged, and yes, I get hurt.  Sometimes I respond back in kind, but when I do, then I have to humble myself and apologize.  UGH no one likes that part.  

But Jesus.  Jesus changes everything.  To follow Jesus means doing things Jesus' way - not my way.  I can't be angry at someone and tell Jesus I will follow Him anywhere.  

Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NKJV) "Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry.  For anger rests in the bosom of fools."

Ephesians 4:26 (NKJV) "Be angry, and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath."

and lastly....

Ephesians 4:6 (NKJV) "Do not be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."

Blessings!

Sometimes the song just gets stuck....

 As I leaned back in my chair after reading my Bible and writing in my journal this morning, I just wanted to 'rest'.  "Just 10 minutes, Lord" is what I thought.  I just wanted a quick nap.  Then these words came into my mind, and now they keep playing over and over.

"Come rest my soul and trust in Him, the wind and rain, they know His Name."  I was curious as to why that popped into my mind, so I looked up the lyrics to 'Come Rest My Soul'.... and I found that these words are not the exact words of the song.  I looked to see ... here is the chorus from the lyrics....

"Find rest my soul, In Christ alone, Know His Power, In quietness and trust:".  

I'm even more curious as to why the words even popped into my mind because the wind is not blowing outside, nor is there rain...  but perhaps the Lord is trying to tell me something.  Did you know that sometimes the Lord will put a phrase or a word into your mind because He wants to share something with you?

Now my thought this morning was just to take a ten minute nap before I had to get up and get dressed for the day.  I can't dwaddle like I usually do because I have a dentist appointment at 8AM.  So I do have to dress and comb my hair - and brush my teeth - and be ready to get out the door in another hour.  Come rest my soul to me was meaning, Lord, can I please take a ten minute nap this morning?

But the words. Come rest my soul, and trust in Him, tell me that even though life is painful, that even when the storms come at me and beat me up, I can rest in Him.  The Lord has gotten me through some very painful and difficult times.  When I lean in Him, I do find my rest.  On the outside I may appear that all is well in my life, but many times, inside of me, my heart is breaking in sorrow.

The wind and the rain know His Name.  Yeah, and they obey Him too!  You can read stories about the wind and rain calming down in the Bible - and the only words He needed to speak was 'Peace, Be Still'.  And they were still.

Sometimes when life comes banging on our door and life is hard and painful and difficult.... when we take the time to lean into Jesus, and talk to Him about what is going on in our minds, and in our hearts, He brings stillness and peace to our troubled hearts.   We may not always get the answers we want; we may not still want to do the right thing.  Our pride and our rights always get in the way of what Jesus says to do.

The greatest commandment, Jesus said, was to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, with all our soul, with all our mind, with all our strength.  And the second one was to love our neighbor as ourself.  When we love Jesus, and we love others, we are obedient to the Words of Jesus.

Sometimes it is hard to love beyond the hurt.  I get it.  Sometimes when I have been hurt I want to shut the door and lock it on that relationship, and run away to where no one knows me nor my pain.  But the best place that I can run to is into my quiet space, and talk to Jesus about it.  I tell Him all my troubles, and He alone will bring the calmness and peace to my soul that I need.

Why don't you try it?  Tell Jesus whta you are feeling right now.  Give Him your frustration, your anger, your fears.  Ask Him to help you work your way through it.  And you know what?  He will.  When you ask Him to.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)  "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything that we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

Blessings!

I knew she couldn't make me wait!

 My birthday package from my little sister came yesterday.  I called to tell her it had arrived, and was she really going to make me wait an entire week to open it.  She felt I wouldn't have anything to open on my birthday if I didn't wait.  But I always do have something - hubby always gives me his gifts to me on 'the day'.  And if not, that's ok too.  I celebrate my birthday all month.  Or try to.  Anyway - she immediately gave in and said to open the box.  It was a nice Amazon box (boxes are reuseable, imagine that) and it was heavy.  Like in 8 pounds 6.6 ounces heavy.  What in the world?  I guessed it was full of books.  I was wrong.  Only one book.  So what made it so heavy?

I'm sorry, but what comes to mind as I start to share this one item is, have you heard the saying 'dumber than a box of rocks'?  Don't laugh or shake your head.  It's because she sent me rocks.  In a box.  THAT is what made it so heavy.  But what she sent IS thoughtful.... it's a square vase about 6 inches high; 4 inches square I'm guessing.  The flat, round rocks each have a word on it (accept, love, I don't remember them all, and one she wrote Jesus on that she said was from her yard) and there is a string that has square beads that read 'Be happy  Be blessed' three or four times.   The rocks go in the vase (which has the word Blessed on it) to sit out on a table.  It is a nice gift.   She sent several other gifts as well.  It was fun opening them with her on the phone so that she could hear my comments.  

Of course the only reason she let me open early is because she knows I have sent her gifts already (except for one and it won't be delivered until just before her birthday) and she will get them this week.  I could have waited to send, but chose not to.  Besides, I have Amazon Prime and they can pay shipping.  I do have a couple books I want to send her and will get those boxed up and sent next week so that she will get them closer to her birthday on the 16th. We are always sending 'love gifts' to each other so early or late doesn't really matter.

I slept good last night, I think.  So much so that I did not feel my fitbit buzz at 4AM or at 4:15AM.  Hubby touched my leg and it felt like he was throwing the cover over on me.  I started to doze again and he did it again.  I looked at my fitbit and saw that it was 4:20AM so got up.  I struggled to wake up, but soon did.  I'm grateful he didn't slap my leg or arm like he has in the past which causes me to awake from a deep sleep and get a headache. The light touch was enough to keep a headache at bay.  I'm happy about that as I had another headache yesterday.  Ever since I got the vaccines I get a headache much more frequently than I ever have.  Not always bad ones, but enough to be annoying.

I read a bit in my Solitude and Silence book this morning, just a paragraph or two, but it really hit home.  It talked about tiredness and exhaustion.  I have been in that stage many times.  A lot of times it is from busyness of life, busyness of work, busyness of doing nothing.  Some times we can find ourselves so very tired that we don't know how much longer we can go on.  Sleep either eludes us or overwhelms us - but never satisfies.  When that happens, we lose touch with that place in the center of our being where we know who we are in God, where we know what we are called to do, and where we are responsive to His voice above all the noise in our lives.  When that happens, we find ourselves at the mercy of every noise, every voice, that comes at us.  And we spiral into a tiredness that gives no relief.

As you read those words you may realize that is where you are at.  You are tired.  You feel exhausted, whether it is from lack of sleep, lack of rest,  or lack of quietness and solitude.  But rather than judge or berating yourself, take a few minutes to just sit back and be quiet and allow your mind to rest, just for a moment.  Quit thinking about all you want to accomplish today.  Quit thinking about the work you have ahead of you today.  Or even next week. Push the thoughts out of your mind (sometimes that is so hard!) and give yourself permission to quiet your mind of all activity and give it rest.  Give it some quiet, some solitude, and just be.  Don't try to rush through the process, but give yourself time and space to notice what is true about you. Recognize your tiredness and ask God, "God, this is what is true about me.  What are we going to do about it?"

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28:  "Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."  What is it like to hear those words right now?  Do you believe it is possible for you to find the rest you need? Tell God what you need and listen to what He wants to say to you now.

So what are you thinking right now?  Are you shrugging off what you just read?  I challenge you to take a moment and quiet your mind.  Get the rest your mind is searching for.  Believe in yourself, and in God who is able to provide rest for your weariness.

Blessings!

Sunday....a day truly of rest.... or is that laziness

Just an update on what I shared yesterday about church.  We all need to find a church that we can feel comfortable in, one that we feel loved and part of the family.  Hubby and I did quite a bit of discussion on church yesterday.  We watched Free Chapel Church online again (Jentezen Franklin) and altho the Senior Pastor didn't speak, a pastor from one of their 'daughter' churches did and Javon Ruff was good.  It was a great message.  Then at 10AM we brought up the church we have been thinking about attending.  Prayer is big in that church, and being a prayer warrior, that is a positive for me.  We both sat there and watched the service until the pastor stopped speaking.... and it was going on 12PM.  That's what happens with live stream... it shows the entire service and this one was going on to 2 hours.

Not that we should limit God by time.  Definitely not!  I, nor hubby, could grasp all that was being spoken.  Now I have heard black pastors speak before and I know they can be amazing.  I enjoy listening to Dr. Tony Evans, for one.  They definitely know how to preach the Word.  But - and I'm not being critical, this is the third time I've watched a live-stream service of this church, two all the way through, and I'm still not feeling this is where we are to be a part.  I'm sure we would love the people, and they us; our friends go there and that is always a plus to go somewhere you already know someone.  Hubby and I discussed this quite a bit yesterday and have decided to continue looking.  We will continue to watch online until we find one that draws us.  Part of me is struggling in that my friends tell me that this church was filled with the Holy Spirit every week.  So.... because I'm not 'feeling it', does that mean that I don't have the Holy Spirit within me?  Wouldn't it draw me to where He is?  I believe He would.... unless that is not the place where He can use me, use us, for His Kingdom work.  I believe that there is a place that we are to be - we need to just continue to ask Him where does He want us to be, and trust Him to guide us to that place.  So we are currently still 'church-less' and 'searching'.    I don't want a church of convenience that doesn't touch my heart.  I want to be challenged to grow in Christ; not be content to just attend on Sundays and go home.  So there you have it.  Stay tuned for future searching.

After fixing hamburgers for lunch, hubby asked about watching a movie.  So I sat down with my crochet and we did another movie marathon.  Three out of the four we watched were very good and entertaining.  I have about 10 rows to go on the afghan I'm making and then I'll be finished.  I didn't get any walking done on the treadmill; even the garage with the door up is too hot for me to be out in it very long.  An hour and a half on Saturday just about did me in.  I 'glisten' and do not sweat... and my shirt was soaked in various areas when I finished on Saturday.  And the garage door was open to get air in there.  But I have no other place to put the treadmill.

The last movie we watched was really good.  "I'm in love with a church girl".  It's a story about a 'thug' who falls for a 'church girl'.  Long story short, she constantly witnesses to him and talks to him about what 'God says', and he begins to go to church with her, still not real convinced.  Her parents buy him a Bible with his name engraved on it.  He starts reading it.  He doens't understand all that he reads, but it begins to change him as he thinks about it.  Long story short, there is trauma and tragedy, but God still is on His throne and in charge of the world.  Great movie to watch with your spouse.  Believer or not.

Sheeba got in trouble yesterday.  While we were watching church, she went to the couch and took my good scissors off and began chewing on them.  She hasn't done that before so we certainly wouldn't expect her to chew on anything but her toys.  Hubby kept hearing her chewing - and I thought it was one of the deer antler bones we have for her to chew on.  He decided to check.... and she has chewed the plastic off one side of the scissor handle.  The scrissors were no longer usable and were thrown away.  Sheeba knew she was in trouble and kept trying to hang around me all afternoon.  Of course by the time I found out what she had done, she had already forgotten so telling her she was 'bad' was of no value.  But she knew something was wrong.  She cracks me up cause when hubby tells her to do something - whether it is to go out to go potty or go to bed.... she stops and turns back and looks at me as if she is asking me if she should go.  All I have to do is repeat what he says and off she goes.  Last night when he told her to go to bed she again turned and looked at me as if to ask 'mom, do I have to?'  I just looked at her and moved my crochet off my lap - and she came in a flying leap upon my lap.  For some reason she imagines she is this small lapdog and my lap is where she wants to be.  Hubby made sure he told me the other day that she tried to get in his lap one day last week.  Not to be left out, I suppose.  Sheeba is his dog....  so I gave her some love and told her to get down and go to bed - and off she went.

Today is Monday and after a restful, or lazy, weekend - it's back to work.  Minus one boss, it will be a long day.  This boss is pretty much self-sufficient, and even in her role it isn't enough to warrant an executive assistant...... they don't plan to replace my other boss until around August.  I know of two internal candidates..... I like them both, don't know either well, but with one I would struggle with to support as in some things I have had to email people, her being one of them, and I can think of three different instances in which she just doesn't respond to me.  At all.  No yay, nay, or anything.  No response. Even when I ask for a response.  I struggle with someone who is that disrespectful.  You can be sure if it was one of her peers she would have responded.  Will see how this pans out.... she may not get it; in fact, I hope their final decision will be for an external candidate (of which there are two) so that we can learn their style from the beginning without a background.

Morale of the weekend?  Take time to rest and recharge.  Enjoy things that take your mind off issues and problems, off work and stress.  Rest.  Recharge.  Renew your mind.   I did that all this weekend.  Hope you did too.

Blessings!