Finally, deep sleep, yet weird dream...

 Not sure if it was exhaustion or that delicious New York Combo pizza we had last night for dinner, but I slept deep last night - and yet, had some stupid dream.  So stupid I haven't even tried to figure out if there was a meaning behind it.  Weird and strange.  Anyway, I did get some sleep and when I awoke by my watch alarm, I turned it off, thinking it was Saturday and I could sleep a little later.  NOT.  It soon dawned on me it was only Friday and I had to work again today. Sigh.  Who wants to sleep their life away anyway, right?

Yesterday was a somewhat busy day, and good.  I did the vision doctor yesterday and ordered new glasses that I SHOULD be able to look at the computer with AND read a book with.  Crossing my fingers it would work out.  I tried to get them to use a frame I bought just two years ago and can no longer wear, but my VSP insurance, which I have the best level, offers $200 a year for frames and I kind of ended up getting a new frame with the new lens.  All that cost me was $63 for the poly whatever that insurance didn't cover and taxes and my copay of $10.  I asked about just making the other frame reading glasses, but MY cost on that would be $205.  Decided it wasn't that important.  I have a huge stack of glasses we no longer can wear and need to find a lions club to donate them to, although I heard that Walmart also has a place one can donate used glasses.   My new glasses come in about 3 weeks and I'm hoping they will work well.  The glasses I bought last year after my cataract surgery aren't good for close -up reading.

After working a bit more, I took off about 15 minutes early and headed to get my hair done.  I had about 4 inches cut off and got bangs.  And I like it.  It is still shoulder length.  I told my hairdresser that I was not going SHORT like hubby pushes for but wanted it shoulder length to make it more manageable for me.  It's still long enough I could pull back into a short ponytail if I chose.  I like it, and that is all that matters.  And, surprisingly, when I came home and hubby looked at it, he said he liked it.  I looked at him and said if that was true, that was a first for it wasn't as short as he is always pushing for me to get.  It angered him a bit I called him out on it - but he eventually calmed down.  But it's true.  He likes it really short.  It is easier to take care of, but I don't want to look like all the other 'sun city ladies' who have extremely short hair because they don't want to deal with it.  Does that make sense?  It's MY hair and I should have a say in how I wear it!  

I got 'hit' with a request from a co-worker yesterday.  I haven't given her a response yet but will today.  And it will probably be 'yes', but I want to run it by my boss first.  As you probably have figured out, some days I'm not busy at all.  Other days I'm overwhelmed. You know I hate taking minutes.  Well, this co-worker and I have covered for each other for a day or two, or even a week at a time before, and we've managed.  But now.  She needs to have back surgery and she will be out 6-8 weeks.  And she got her surgery date of May 1st.  She is asking me to cover for her (she supports about 5 doctors, and I've only met one of them) from April 29 - through possibly the end of June.  Two full months.  I'm overwhelmed just thinking about it!  That is a very long time.  Plus, she has six meetings during that time in which she has to take minutes. Line 3 in this paragraph.  I hate taking minutes.  I told her I'd get back with her.  I'm sure it will be ok and will work out - and if I was in the office, it wouldn't be a problem.  I just don't like covering for others when I don't know the people and can't run to them when I have a question.  When she covers for me, it's only my male boss she has to deal with - the others take care of themselves when I'm not available.  Will discuss with my boss.  The one I report to.  But I will probably say ok.

Didn't I mention recently that I really wanted to get away for a few days?  Well, I came up with an idea yesterday and threw it at hubby and he immediately agreed to it.  I told him - what if - instead of us buying each other a Valentine's Day gift of something neither of us need, how about if we got away for a couple days and he pay one night, and I pay one night.  He quickly agreed.  He wants to go to our favorite place up north.  We haven't been up there since I got sick that one time - it's been a couple years.  Now I would demand another room if cleaning odors were that bad, but at the time, we didn't really realize that was what made me so ill - and it has taken quite a bit of time to totally get better.  Actually, with being on the amoxicillin for my tooth surgery finally stopped the coughing up mucus every morning - although it feels like it is starting to come back.  Anyway - I got online and made reservations for a Thursday evening and a Friday evening, with us returning on a Saturday.  I can take off work a couple hours early, and then only put in PTO for one day.  But I really want to get away and we got the executive suite so will have plenty of room to move about in.  Probably the same room we had before - with a small balcony.  Granted, still in February, it will be cold up there, but that's ok for it's a retreat, not a vacation.  We'll go out a bit for meals, for sure, but overall, we will stay in the hotel.  It will be good to have a change of scenery.  I stare at the inside of this house nearly 24x7 because of having to work and then not going anywhere very often.  At least it is something to look forward to.

I Corinthians 2:9 (NKJV):  "But as it is written, "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.""

So many times we get so caught up in life we miss the things that God has for us.  Usually, things to bless us with.  We turn away too soon to see them.  And I can use the above as an example.  I wanted some time off.  I feel I NEED the time away just to focus on God and spend quality time with Him.  Sometimes here in the mornings I have a great time with God, but other times, I want more.  It isn't quantity as much as quality.  Some mornings it is a struggle to get both!  But, because my heart is in the right place, I want to spend quality time with Him, He helped me (us) find a place to go with availability with the cost not that expensive, hubby agreed to share the cost, my boss agreed I could take off early that day, and I got approved the Friday I needed off.  It's all God orchestrating my desire to spend time with Him.  Do I really believe that?  I absolutely do!  It will be a blessing to receive when it happens.  We just have to keep our eyes, ears, and heart open to Him to see what He wants to tell us, to show us, to work in us while we are there.  He knew I desperately need to get a change of scenery and a quantity of time to spend with Him.  He will provide the quality.  I.can't.wait.   3 weeks out we will be heading up north.  NOW I'm praying for clear roads and good weather.  It can be cold; I just don't want to get buried in snow!  But we shouldn't be that far north that it would be a problem.

What about you?  Do you need to plan a weekend getaway just to refocus on life and family?  Maybe it's something that you can do for your spouse.  A little getaway to just breathe again. Don't worry about bills, about jobs, about what is going to happen next.... of course, they need to be willing to 'retreat' as well.... unless for you and yours it is more about just getting away.   But my prayer for you would be to not only find a weekend to get away and get a change of scenery but take some time and recap the blessings that God has given you.  Health? Finances? Jobs?  Family?  Take a moment - even now - and thank God for what He has provided for you.  Trust me, it ain't YOU doing it.... if God didn't allow it, it wouldn't happen.  Every move you make, every breath you take, is from God.  Hallelujah!  Praise Him!

Blessings!

I made a decision.

 Actually, yesterday I made a decision on a couple of things.  For one, I have decided to cut my hair.  I love my long hair.  But I very much dislike the photos I see of me.  I usually don't do anything with it except on Sundays.  Unless we have something else going on during the week, that is.  Then, I curl it and do something with it.  But other than that, I just pull it back in a pony tail.  Well, the pictures have bothered me enough that I called my hairdresser and yes, he does have an opening Friday afternoon.  I don't want to tell hubby, because it will make him very happy... sorta.  I'm not getting it cut THAT short, which is what he would want.  I'm getting it cut to shoulder length - which will be about 8-10 inches off. There is a hairstyle app that I played with and you take your own photo, then apply hairstyles to it to see what it will look like.  I found four that I sorta thought doable.  I sent it to a few friends and they all chose the same one.  I narrowed it to two, and sent to my hairdresser.  He vetoed one, and chose the one we all had picked as number one.  So - tomorrow afternoon is it!

In my mind I was trying to figure out how I could take off work early (not a problem, except in telling hubby why I was leaving early and not asking him if he wanted to go along).  Then I had a bunch of work hit and I was getting phone calls and emails from others about meetings - and I decided I needed a mental health day.  I emailed my favorite boss and asked if it was ok - she already knew I was on overload.  She said yes, to take it off.  So I put in for the PTO and have Friday off work.  Still have not told hubby.  I was going to last night, but I spent the evening working on a message to do for one of the RV parks, and when I came into the front room to relax a bit before bed, he had his hearing aids out, and he was asking if I minded he go to lunch with a friend on Friday.  I said, no, for him to go.  He commented that I was working anyway...  not that that makes a difference.... but if he knew I was taking off, he would stay home.  So I think how I'm going to do this is while he is at the lunch, tell him I'm going shopping (and I can go shopping before heading to the hair place)... and then get it done before coming home.  I will tell him some time today that I'm taking it off, and we'll probably go to breakfast somewhere, or he will wait on me to fix breakfast for him.  After all, if I'm not working, I need to take care of him, right?  And I can probably guarantee you that when he sees my hair he will say how much he likes it.  Which he never does while it is long and I just color it.  As you know.

I have plenty to work on tomorrow while I'm home.  I've got boxes all over the place in here with gifts in them.  Need to sort out and update my list.  I need to work on the messages for the RV parks.  The one I'm working on now I can use at both places, but then I have Christmas and New Years which are back-to-back weeks so need to get those done before I can take a breather.  After that is the end of January, then one in February and one in March.   It all will be much more fun than working on office stuff.  I really do need an attitude check with work.  

My lunch yesterday with my neighbor was ok.  It's hard to explain, but I really did not feel a connection there.  I had just got dumped with a lot of work when I met with her so that was on my mind.  I mentioned that I have to create a board retreat and instead of staying in town with which I am familiar, they want it in Tucson.  And I still don't have any direct communication as to what they are wanting, so I need to create an email asking for specifics so I know how to proceed.  In spite of the fact I do not want to do it.  My neighbor jumped on it and said "oh, that is what I love to do and you need to do this and you need to do that..." and you know how much I love being told what to do by people who don't understand the big picture.  It shut me down somewhat and it took several comments before I could get her off the subject.  I tried to get her to talk more and she shared about her children and that she is now totally retired... so I'm guessing she may be 62?  I don't know; maybe she holds her age well.  Second time I've ever seen her up close.

She also mentioned that we left our garage door open the other day and we both were gone.  I tried to think when it could have been.  Finally I remembered that I was gone Monday to the eye doctor, and Tuesday to a massage.  And both days, hubby left after I did.  I know I have forgotten to put the door down before.... but he seems to be doing it more and more.  In the last month, two neighbors have called him and told him the door was open - and we both were home.  They know we usually have our door shut.  There isn't any thing of value in the garage, but the button is inside the house (and not the garage like most houses) so it stands open if we aren't home.  My neighbor said she came over and looked for a button to shut it, but couldn't find one.  Thank goodness he had locked the back door.  I don't usually lock it if he is home, but try to remember to lock the doorknob as I go out.

John 16:33 (NKJV):  These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

There are certain words that can affect a person one way or another. The above word is one of those that give you clarity.  Peace.  In the midst of all the chaos of this world; in the midst of all the chaos of work; of home life; of problems; of trials; of life..... I can have Peace because Jesus has overcome the world.

Sometimes that is all you have.  But you know what?  Peace in Him is all that you need.  So take a deep breath, breathe deeply, and let it out.  Let God's spirit fill you and feel His peace surround you.

Blessings!

Touching base...

 We had company over the weekend and they sleep here in my 'office', my 'quiet room', my 'reading' room, my 'writing room'.  All of those things and sometimes even 'my bedroom'.    I knew with having to move my reading, quiet time, etc. to the front room for a couple days would make it more difficult to have the quiet I need to focus on what I write (yes, I try to focus as I write), so I left the computer in the room.  We had a nice weekend and now we are back to normal and I'm in my room.  I debated on even writing this morning as I haven't  for a couple days and I said I was going to take a sabatical for awhile.  But you know what?  I missed touching base here before I start my day.  

Yes, a lot of what I write is nonsense, and some is just fill-in stuff, but it shows whoever reads this that I lived for that day.  For some reason I keep thinking of that, of which I wrote about a few posts ago.  This blog is a witness that I lived to those whom I do not see often or have contact with.  Granted, I don't know (again) who all reads this, but I vaguely know who all I gave the address to many years ago when I started it.  Who knows, at some point they may find that note and think they will read.  Does it matter in the big aspect of life?  No.  It doesn't.  

But I enjoy writing in here and have never thought that I 'had' to.  It has been a place I can share a part of my life; better than my writing in a journal.  Although that might be what I do while I am away.  I may go back to writing in my journal for I may need to remember something that I'd like to share.  I toyed with the idea of taking my laptop with me again - afterall, I did buy a backpack with that thought in might.  I thought I'd take my laptop and put it and a couple other things in my backpack and just carry on board the plane with me, and everything else in the suitcase.  I don't know.... I think it is being gone 13 days that I feel I need to check the computer - but for what?  I have my emails on my phone.  Although I can get my work emails on this computer, I don't want to be tempted to work; I want to totally disengage from work.

We leave on our trip Wednesday morning.  I see midwest White Castles on the horizon when we arrive.  My sister, who is picking us up, started that tradition years ago.  When she picks me up at the airport, she either already has the white castles, or we stop on our way to her place.  It's tradition.  It will be 'supper' for Wednesday evening.  I finally have the itinerary finalized, I think, and have sent it out to those that wanted it.  If family wants a copy of it, they can request and I'll send it over, just so they know where we are.

Sheeba will go to the pet hotel tomorrow morning.  This is going to be an expensive stay, with us being gone so long.  But, as I told hubby, this may be our very last trip for awhile so want us to enjoy it.  We are staying a week longer than we normally do so that we can spend more quality time with family.  I even gave in and rented a car for a week of the time we are there.  For right now the trip is paid for, the car is paid for.... so it's just Sheeba and whatever we do there.  But, speaking of Sheeba..... we are giving her away to a friend of a friend who already is in love with her.  Interestingly, he came over last night to spend some time with her as he had not met her before.  At first she barked at him and ran from him - which is the first time she has done that to anyone.  By the time they left about an hour later, she had warmed up to him and he took her walking up and down the block.  He is currently dog-sitting two dogs so could not take her now, but will be ready to upon our return.  Hubby and I are both struggling with this decision to let her go.  And she will be our very last dog.  Since my diagnosis of osteopenia and the doctor giving me the 3rd degree on not falling and bumping into things that could break my bones, and hubby sometimes falling as well (although he isn't diagnosed with it, he does get hurt and can break something), I made the decision we had to do something.  It won't be easy to let her go.  The gentleman who wants her lost his german shepherd about 6 years ago and is now ready to replace her.  He has a back yard in which she can run in, and a doggie door in which she can come and go.  If she can get through it.   She has gotten pretty big and at 119 pounds, lots of muscle in her body.  Hubby is already flip-flopping, and my heart is too, on letting her go.  But, she's too young to stay cooped up and we're too old to trip over her or try to walk and be pulled to the ground.  And yes, she is trained, but she loves to play with other dogs and off she goes.  Remember her pulling me across ours and the neighbors yard a few months ago?  I was lucky nothing got broke.  I asked the gentleman to think about it while we are gone and we can get back together when we return.  It's a tough decision, but a healthy one, for Sheeba, and for us.

Speaking of my osteopenia.... I picked up the medication I am to take for it.  Fosamax.  Yes, it has a lot of side effects and I'm scared to even start it.  It is one table weekly and first thing in the morning - only with water - and one has to remain upright (sit/stand) for a minimum of 30 minutes after taking it.  Only then can I have my coffee or eat anything.  Side effects include back pain, esopageal pain, ulcers, and a lot more.  This is what gets me - after 3-5 years on this - it gave several examples of people just walking across the street and get a sharp pain in the thigh - and they go get it x-rayed and the thigh bone is broken.  No bumping into anything, just walking.  Google it - and you will see all the side effects.  I have my pills, but haven't started them yet.  After reading it all, I decided I was going to wait until we returned from vacation before I started them.  I didn't want to be in pain or have issues while on vacation.  I figure that if I didn't know I had it before, I can survive 3 more weeks without having to take the pills.  I'm really scared to take them.  I talked to my brother as he had taken them... he said it gave him Barretts Disease... and they ended up changing him to another drug.... and now he takes Prolia (I think) which is a shot every six months.  Yipes.  Is that what I have ahead of me?  I know one of the things I can do is work out with weights and I am doing that now, but I need to be more consistent and work out harder.

I had 10-12 inches of my hair cut off the other day.  It was below the bra strap and I love my hair long.. but hubby does not, so I had to wear it up all the time.  I decided to get it cut and colored for our trip, and I really like it.  It is still below the shoulders and I got bangs too - although they continuously part as they always have.  Hubby's first comment when I came in (with it down, of course) was "Well, I like the color".  Isn't that nice.  I had it highlighted.  A little later he commented that I had some cut off.  Well, yes I did.  That is all he had to say about my hair.  Sigh. Everyone else I sent photos of it to (my boss, my sister), all said they loved it.  I love my hair long and I will continue to keep it long.  Some people say I'm wrong; I should cut it short because that is what hubby wants, but I tell him I am not his first wife (who wore her hair very short) and I like it long and I will wear it long.  I wore my hair short for years because of his comments about my hair.  I have rebelled the past few years and let it grow.  Even a pastor we had told hubby that a woman's hair is her glory... but that didn't matter to him.  Enough of that.

I guess I have caught you up on my life... have already started packing with the things I had laid out so that I wouldn't forget.  I never lost the twenty pounds I was hoping to have lost.  I love food too much.  But, I had cut back... but I guess my lack of movement wouldn't let me lose, and I didn't eat enough to gain (which is a good thing).  But I am about 25 pounds heavier than I was back in 2013 on our last trip.  Oh well.  Love me for me, and not for what I look like.  Body or hair.

I probably will stop writing as of today... working today and tomorrow and then shutting the computer down for two weeks.  I sometimes think of pushing the retirement issue with hubby, but I would lose all my 'freedom' that I currently have.  Not only would he take all that I have hidden away financially, but I would not be able to go anywhere.  I wouldn't be able to plan anything for he has to control all our finances and things.  I would literally be in a prison.  At least with working I have contact with the outside world.  Oh, it probably wouldn't be as bad as I make it sound, but those that know my situation, know how it can be.  I am better off working, and I think that is why God keeps me at it.  I still have to laugh at all the job offers I get in my emails daily.  I'm serious.  When my boss mentioned she was thinking about retiring but decided to wait 3-4 years until she turned 65, I checked around to see what was in my area - and found a position or two open in the same building as my doctor's office - which is 6 miles away.  Wouldn't that be great?  But, for now, as long as my boss is going to stay, I will too.  My favorite boss. :-)

Ok - need to go and get dressed; get the work computer fired up and ready to go.  I pray that you will have a good day; and a good couple weeks while we are away.  

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you.  May He turn His face toward you, and give you peace.

Blessings!