Feeling so relaxed today....

 Actually, when I shut the work computer off yesterday, I just totally relaxed.  It felt good.  I knew I was not needing to do something with it until Monday morning.  Except I have now remembered I forgot to put in an out of office message, so will need to jump online this morning real quick so that I can do that. In the meantime, I can relax knowing that I don't have to work on that stuff today.  Hubby and I briefly - very briefly, talked about my retirement last night..... he is afraid we can't make it without my check.  I even told him that I would get a part time job!  In fact, I know someone who works at a bank as a manager, and she was telling me that their benefits are if you work 20 hours (part-time), you still get full benefits.  Hello?  I could do that!  I would love to do that!  Sure, the pay wouldn't be as good as what I make, but it could supplement, right?  But, hubby wasn't on board with it so I guess it is still a 'no' for now.  

I finally told hubby last night that I was taking today off.  He asked why, and I told him that I needed a mental health day, which he knew.  He asked what I was going to do.  I told him I'm going to take my time in my quiet time (which I am), and I need to work on my message (and I will), and I think I will go shopping this afternoon as I have received several coupons from some stores I shop at (now online) and may see what they have and work on some things for Christmas.  The best part?  He is going to breakfast with a friend (yay! more alone time) and then also to an early Veteran's lunch with this friend at his church.  So he will be eating breakfast and lunch and I can do my own thing.  How cool is that?  God has orchestrated my day so that I can do whatever I want to do today and enjoy the day off work.  I don't have to worry about being home to take care of hubby.  He won't feel neglected he is 'alone' all day.   I am so grateful He is giving me this day to play.

I stopped to visit Ms. Diane late afternoon yesterday and took over a cup of hot chocolate.  We drank the cup of hot chocolate and talked.  She has a clock on her wall that I just love.  It is a Seiko motion clock and every hour it does movement on it.  She told me yesterday it was on sale at Sam's club - and I jumped on the Sams Club app on my phone - found it - and ordered it.  It should be here next week.  Now to figure out where I am going to put it.  I told hubby last night and of course got the grumbling about location.  But, I think I will move some things today while he is out and figure it out.  I think I know where I will put it - where the big clock is in the living room now - but then where will I put that big clock?  It chimes too, but hubby had me turn it off.  It was a Christmas gift a few years ago from my big brother so I do want to keep it.   I think I know a place in another room to put it - and will work on it today - once hubby leaves. :-)

I read the book of Malachi in my devotions today.  Of course it wasn't the first time I had read it - even in this Bible, for I had already underlined many of the scriptures.  But as I read it, I was reminded of the first time I had read it and how it had made me determined to give back to God what already belongs to Him.

Malachi 3:8-10 (NKJV):  ""Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me! But you say, 'In what way have we robbed You?' In tithes and offerings. You are cursed with a curse, For you have robbed Me, even this whole nation.  Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and try Me now in this," says the Lord of hosts, "If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it.""

And THAT scripture is why I know that whenever I retire, whenever that may be, we will always have all that we need.  We are tithing our income.  Yes, it is a lot of money that we give to the church each month, but God always gives us all that we need.  It's His money, anyway.  He is the One who has blessed us with what we are receiving.  When we withheld giving our full tithe, we were struggling financially.  But when we determined to give Him our full tithe, His blessings opened up for us and He has continually blessed us with all that we need.  Sure, we don't have a lot of wealth; if we did, hubby would let me retire easily enough.  But it's ok..... God knows the time in which I need to retire.... and as He sees the big picture, it's possible that I need to keep working and continue to give, and continue to save, by keeping working.  

I've learned over the years that when I relinquish to God all that is His, I have no worries about the future.  I've shared stories before of how God has intervened in drastic situations to get us through them.  I give Him all the praise and glory, for it is by His hand that we are taken care of.

Sometimes we have to open up our hands and just say, "Lord, I can't do this on my own anymore, I am relinquishing my control, and giving it to You.  Would You please take over and help me make the right choices, right decisions, and let go of holding on, and let You take over.  Thank You for loving me so much, in spite of the person I have become, You draw me back to You with complete forgiveness as I confess to You the things I've done.  You are the Lord my God.  I choose You, Lord."

Sometimes you just gotta 'Let go and Let God'.  I love to see how God works when I let go of my pride and my 'I'll do it myself' attitude and let Him take control.

Something to give thought to..... it's all His anyway.

Blessings!

I made a decision.

 Actually, yesterday I made a decision on a couple of things.  For one, I have decided to cut my hair.  I love my long hair.  But I very much dislike the photos I see of me.  I usually don't do anything with it except on Sundays.  Unless we have something else going on during the week, that is.  Then, I curl it and do something with it.  But other than that, I just pull it back in a pony tail.  Well, the pictures have bothered me enough that I called my hairdresser and yes, he does have an opening Friday afternoon.  I don't want to tell hubby, because it will make him very happy... sorta.  I'm not getting it cut THAT short, which is what he would want.  I'm getting it cut to shoulder length - which will be about 8-10 inches off. There is a hairstyle app that I played with and you take your own photo, then apply hairstyles to it to see what it will look like.  I found four that I sorta thought doable.  I sent it to a few friends and they all chose the same one.  I narrowed it to two, and sent to my hairdresser.  He vetoed one, and chose the one we all had picked as number one.  So - tomorrow afternoon is it!

In my mind I was trying to figure out how I could take off work early (not a problem, except in telling hubby why I was leaving early and not asking him if he wanted to go along).  Then I had a bunch of work hit and I was getting phone calls and emails from others about meetings - and I decided I needed a mental health day.  I emailed my favorite boss and asked if it was ok - she already knew I was on overload.  She said yes, to take it off.  So I put in for the PTO and have Friday off work.  Still have not told hubby.  I was going to last night, but I spent the evening working on a message to do for one of the RV parks, and when I came into the front room to relax a bit before bed, he had his hearing aids out, and he was asking if I minded he go to lunch with a friend on Friday.  I said, no, for him to go.  He commented that I was working anyway...  not that that makes a difference.... but if he knew I was taking off, he would stay home.  So I think how I'm going to do this is while he is at the lunch, tell him I'm going shopping (and I can go shopping before heading to the hair place)... and then get it done before coming home.  I will tell him some time today that I'm taking it off, and we'll probably go to breakfast somewhere, or he will wait on me to fix breakfast for him.  After all, if I'm not working, I need to take care of him, right?  And I can probably guarantee you that when he sees my hair he will say how much he likes it.  Which he never does while it is long and I just color it.  As you know.

I have plenty to work on tomorrow while I'm home.  I've got boxes all over the place in here with gifts in them.  Need to sort out and update my list.  I need to work on the messages for the RV parks.  The one I'm working on now I can use at both places, but then I have Christmas and New Years which are back-to-back weeks so need to get those done before I can take a breather.  After that is the end of January, then one in February and one in March.   It all will be much more fun than working on office stuff.  I really do need an attitude check with work.  

My lunch yesterday with my neighbor was ok.  It's hard to explain, but I really did not feel a connection there.  I had just got dumped with a lot of work when I met with her so that was on my mind.  I mentioned that I have to create a board retreat and instead of staying in town with which I am familiar, they want it in Tucson.  And I still don't have any direct communication as to what they are wanting, so I need to create an email asking for specifics so I know how to proceed.  In spite of the fact I do not want to do it.  My neighbor jumped on it and said "oh, that is what I love to do and you need to do this and you need to do that..." and you know how much I love being told what to do by people who don't understand the big picture.  It shut me down somewhat and it took several comments before I could get her off the subject.  I tried to get her to talk more and she shared about her children and that she is now totally retired... so I'm guessing she may be 62?  I don't know; maybe she holds her age well.  Second time I've ever seen her up close.

She also mentioned that we left our garage door open the other day and we both were gone.  I tried to think when it could have been.  Finally I remembered that I was gone Monday to the eye doctor, and Tuesday to a massage.  And both days, hubby left after I did.  I know I have forgotten to put the door down before.... but he seems to be doing it more and more.  In the last month, two neighbors have called him and told him the door was open - and we both were home.  They know we usually have our door shut.  There isn't any thing of value in the garage, but the button is inside the house (and not the garage like most houses) so it stands open if we aren't home.  My neighbor said she came over and looked for a button to shut it, but couldn't find one.  Thank goodness he had locked the back door.  I don't usually lock it if he is home, but try to remember to lock the doorknob as I go out.

John 16:33 (NKJV):  These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

There are certain words that can affect a person one way or another. The above word is one of those that give you clarity.  Peace.  In the midst of all the chaos of this world; in the midst of all the chaos of work; of home life; of problems; of trials; of life..... I can have Peace because Jesus has overcome the world.

Sometimes that is all you have.  But you know what?  Peace in Him is all that you need.  So take a deep breath, breathe deeply, and let it out.  Let God's spirit fill you and feel His peace surround you.

Blessings!