I slept once again in this bedroom and although I was awake a few times during the night, I am feeling much, much better today. Thank you for your prayers. I still have a bit of a ways to go, and yet, I feel rested - more so than I have in a long, long time. Of course part of that may be due to all I've done is sleep since Saturday. Well, I did have to work, bur two-three times (other than Wednesday when I was so busy) a day I was laying down (I did have permission from my boss!) to rest. Sometimes you have to do that in order to get over whatever it is.
But last night another thought occurred to me. I'm wondering if my gallbladder is started to act up in another way - rather than the nausea and pain I have felt in the past. I'm not sure. Or, it could be that I just have had no appetite (which could be a good thing) since the weekend. I ate a snack bar for breakfast yesterday because I knew I needed to eat something. At lunchtime, hubby asked to take me to lunch, and although I wasn't hungry, I agreed to go. I got a cup of soup and a sandwich. I was really looking forward to french fries, which I thought was included - even potato chips- with the sandwich. It wasn't. I was disappointed. Hubby offered to order me a side of french fries but I declined. Ate the soup, but the sandwich I couldn't finish, so hubby did. Late afternoon my daughter called and asked if she could bring me some soup and a sandwich for hubby for dinner, so that I wouldn't have to cook. What a blessing, cause I wasn't feeling too good last night. She told me where she would get it from, and I told her what to get. She dropped it off and headed on her way. It felt odd for someone to do that for us; I'm usually the one doing, I think. But it was very nice to be remembered.
Work kept me busy yesterday and to end my day, sigh, the boss who had me making this huge meeting with about 16 people (with 8 being outside the company) in Colorado on Wednesday and it was such a difficult thing to accomplish, but we got it set for June 3....... he tells me last night that I need to send an email out to see if it would be possible to move it to May 31. I reminded him it was the day after Memorial Day. Well, I told him I wasn't going to do it last night; I wasn't feeling well still and I just didn't want to deal with it. He had me schedule for June 3rd and now that people are saying other things have come up - he wants me to change it. So what did I do as well?
When hubby stopped by the door, I commented to him that now would be a good time to retire. I'm tired; some meetings are stressful; and I'm actually afraid that I won't be able to have any enjoyment in retirement... after all, I could die before I retire or I could die right after I retire. I really do not want to work all my life and then die and not enjoy the things I enjoy doing. Course I have always said the year I had of not work (but still drawing a paycheck) November 2011 - November 2012 was my retirement. But then, I was enjoying working. Now, I'm just tired. I guess I remember an uncle who worked all his life and one week after he retired, he died of a heart attack while mowing his front yard. Of course you won't find me doing any hard labor, but still. Hubby asked if I really thought we could afford to live on two social security checks - and I told him it would be tough, but we could. Plus, I could get a part time job to have for spending money (i.e., Christmas, birthdays, etc). I asked him to sit down and list every bill we have that we pays monthly. Then we need to list those things that hit occasionally, i.e., dentist and doctors that we have to pay, etc. Then let's talk. He mentioned that I had 'set' the date... January 10, 2025... but I reminded him that it was also almost 3 years away. And I'm tired. At 75, how many years do I have left? I don't know that I would retire anytime soon - I'd wait until January, anyway, if I did. I can get Medicare for my medical expenses and they pay more than my current medical insurance does. Once I'm back up to par, I may totally change my mind. I definitely do not want to retire and sit at home all day! I refuse to spend my day on a computer .... unless I begin my dream of writing a book, anyway. At least this time he didn't walk away from my comment, but did engage in conversation.
I am loving my new Bible study. I've done it several times before, but this is the first time in the updated version and it feels totally new. I don't have time to finish today's session, so will work on it over the weekend. It's 5 days a week and then has an extra 'day' to answer questions in a group study. I plan to do those too, cause my sister and I are doing this together and we will discuss it on Sunday. It really causes one to think. How would you answer these three questions?
1) was there a time in my life when I genuinely repented of (was aware of and turned away from) my sin?
2) Was there a time when I placed all my trust in Jesus Christ alone to save me?
3) Was there ever a time when I completely surrendered to Jesus Christ as the Master and Lord of my life?
2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV): "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have been passed away; behold, all things have become new."
When we confess our sins to Jesus, they are erased and our slate is clean. Not that we won't suffer any consequences of the things we have done that we shouldn't have, but the sin of what we have done is wiped clean. It's good to start the day off with a clean slate, don't you agree? Think about saying this to the Lord each morning...
Psalm 51:10 (NKJV): "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
Blessings!
