I still have no idea what I clicked on or moved with my fingers to mess this up - but it is obviously on just my home computer. I brought the blog up on my work computer, and it looks fine. Eventually I will figure it out; I could just type from another computer so it isn't a priority to fix - it's just annoying cause I don't know what I did. Yep. I own it. I did it. Whatever it is.
Yesterday was an eventful day. It was crazy busy most of the day. I did go with hubby to his prostate doctor - which was revealing and yet, irritating. He had an appointment. We were there ten minutes early. He registered when he came in. We sat. And waited. And waited. After 30 minutes past the appointment time, he went up to the desk. Ten minutes later he went up again. FINALLY, 45 minutes past his appointment, he got called back. He is stressing because he knows I am being taken from work. But I am glad I went, for I found that hubby neglected to give me all the information a year ago when he started the shots. This doctor dropped the bomb that a year ago hubby had stage 4 catastrophic prostate cancer. I had to look it up on google when I got back home. It had spread to the lymph nodes somewhere in his body. The shots that he has been taking has reduced the cancer but has not gotten rid of it.
I talked with my boss about it (she is a nurse) and she said that it all made sense to her now as I gave her the 'title' of what we were 'fighting'. She said that the doctor was treating the cancer, not lowering the PSA (but it would be part of it) as hubby was relaying. Yes, his PSA is way down - .026 now - BUT the cancer is still there. My boss said that the shots were lowering the testosterone which affects the cancer - and lower it they have - it was down to 14. But the problem we are facing now is it may have spread to his kidneys and liver - as recent blood tests reveal something is going on with them. One is extremely high, the other extremely low, I think it was.
Hubby asked about stopping the shots - but this doctor says, 'if you do and it comes back, we may not be able to bring it back down'. That might be a true statement, but I told hubby that at age 88, he will not die from prostate cancer... I'm sure of it. That might have been the main cause, but the side effects and the growth to other areas (if it has) may be the cause. I told him to keep in the back of his mind 'quality of life' as well as 'living life'. Some of you will understand that.
We will go see Dr. Mark today and will discuss choices with him. He is not in favor of continuing the shots; today we may be able to understand why. Again, Dr. Mark has been treating hubby for years - and his dad before him, so for the past 40+ years, all his medical records are in his hands. He knows hubby inside and out - literally. I trust Dr. Mark more than I do any of his other doctors. I did not care for the demeanor of this doctor we saw yesterday. There was just an 'air' about him that was disturbing to me. So, stay tuned - tomorrow I may share more information.
I got home in time to catch the third town hall and get caught up on meetings to schedule. Morgan moved my training up to 4:30PM so as soon as I got off the computer we were headed there. Yes, hubby went with me as he hadn't exercised in two weeks and knew he needed to do something. He rode the bike for a mile before getting off. On the way home we hit a lot of traffic - more than usual - so I commented that although I had made taco soup for us for dinner..... we may need to go north on 83rd to Sardella's for pizza to let the traffic die down. DUH. Hubby jumped right on that! LOL So we went to Sardella's and had our usual thin-crust Sardella's Supreme pizza. And it was so good. Pizza is always a good 'filler', right?
Hubby has training with Morgan at 8:30 this morning and Morgan has said she will let him choose what he wants to do. As I updated Morgan last night, when I mentioned the mental confusion, she said yeah, she has noticed it for awhile. The example she gave me was she would put him on a bench and show him how to do a chest press (like she wanted him to), and he would sit down and start to do bicep curls because that is what he thought he was supposed to do. Completely confusing the exercises.
It's like I think I mentioned before, I had a container full of cantaloupe cut up - and he looked at it and asked if there was anything else in the container. He said something similar the other day but I don't remember what it was. Yeah, I question my memory at times too. He looks at broccoli and asks what it is. I admit, the future right now scares me, and I try not to get caught up in it and think about it. I try to take it one moment at a time. This can go on for years and I cannot allow myself to worry and fear about the future. I know that we will get through this - no matter what it takes us through.
It's Tuesday night and daughter and I may be getting together. Hubby plans to go to his bible study. He needs to talk with his friend. I probably should find this friend's email and update him, but not just yet. He has a lot on his own plate with family conflicts. I think the SIL is going to come over later to put the new woodfire grill and table I bought together for me. He stopped by yesterday, but when I told him the table wouldn't be here until today, he decided to wait. It will be good to be able to grill things, and it's an air fryer as well and a smoker - so I have a lot to learn about it. I teased my youngest, who bought a smoker grill about a month or so ago - he has never used it - and now he is getting ready to go on a two week trip before stopping back in town and then taking off again for another two weeks, I think. I told him I was going to use my grill before he does! LOL
I need to get on the work computer and start putting in extra time since I'm going to lose about 2-3 hours today. An hour of that is my lunch break so I don't feel I need to make up as much time. As long as I keep up on things I should be ok - but I have other things I need to get completed in the background so need to work on those. Plus I'm covering for two colleagues this week. One will be back tomorrow, I think, which will help.
Proverbs 3:6-7 (NIV): Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight.
I have to trust the Lord because I don't know what the future holds. Sometimes, all I can do is reach up and grab His hand and ask for His help.
And sometimes, that is all you can do.
Blessings!
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