As tired as I was yesterday from not sleeping well, I managed to get through the work day and was ready to go to the gym when I stopped working at 4PM. I walked into the front room and told hubby I was ready to go.... to hear, "I know you are really tired from not sleeping last night and it's my fault. Let's not go tonight....we'll figure something else out." Of course he was in his recliner and the TV was on..... so I went on into the kitchen and fixed dinner for us. We ate, then back to the couch (for me) and the recliner (for him) for the evening. We watched a movie, I crochet'd, and then the TV was off and he was on his ipad/phone until I announced at 8:30PM I was going to bed. We lead such an exciting life.
I still managed to get my upper body workout in yesterday during my breaks. I need to work on the lower body, but really thought I'd be going to the gym and would be on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes. Since it didn't happen, I do need to start focusing on lower body workout too. I know we won't be going to the gym tonight. Hubby reminded me of it last night - and yes, I had totally forgotten.
He wants a 'date night' tonight and take me to an Italian restaurant we found in one of the strip malls a mile or so away. He wanted us to have lunch there a couple weeks ago after we had our pedicures but they weren't open yet and I needed to get back to work. We go out to eat often enough that I don't even think about 'date nights'. We are together 24x7... do we even need a 'date night'? Anyway, I had totally forgotten he had mentioned this the other night so I really had to think what he was referring to. He wants to try this restaurant. Ok - let's go eat there. Right when I'm trying to not eat pasta, breads, etc. Sure, let's go eat at an Italian restaurant. You know I have to try it, right?
And soon after he reminds me of our 'date night' at 'A Little Bit of Italy' restaurant.... he proceeds to tell me that he knows I work out with my weights on occasion (he has no clue if I do or not; the weight bench and weights are here in my room/office), he commented he knows I don't have a lot of room back here. That's a true statement. So he suggested I take his big ball (I have one too, but it isn't blown up yet... I have no place to put it or use it so haven't gotten it filled), and start working on my stomach (did he really say that? YES) and other parts of my body, using his ball. I don't think I even bothered to respond. This is why I shut down and stop doing whatever I do. Exercising, eating right - that has to be MY choice, right? It needs to be MY decision, right? I don't try to tell him he needs exercise (and he does); I don't tell him he shouldn't eat this or that. I don't interfere with his choices. Why does he always feel he knows better and without my asking him, proceed to tell me what I need to be doing, trying to form it in words that are just a suggestion and not telling me what to do? UGH. Sorry for the rant... that is why I am in the shape I'm in...other than I do overeat and eat what I shouldn't.... it is my responsibility to take care of my body. I don't want anyone to tell me what to do... unless I hire them as my trainer. I am so serious. Many exercise programs I have embarked on have been immediately stopped for these interferences into my programs. But I can't let him distress me and control me in this area; I'm doing this for me, not for him. Is he ashamed of my body? If asked, he would say no, but he wants to help me. I know he means well, but.... please just leave me alone.
Updates on previous posts.... Senior pictures are back on the wall.... I don't know if he has even noticed I put them back. My framed picture from my boss is still laying on the table. I think I have decided to put it in this room, but will need to move some things off the wall. It's do-able. It will get done. Sometime. And all the new frames I had bought to switch the Senior pictures to so they'd all be the same? I bought the wrong size. I don't know what I was thinking; got 8 1/2x11 frames and not 8x10 frames. Requires a trip back to Michael's to swap out.
Laptop for early anniversary gift..... while hubby was gone to get his blood work done yesterday I thought I'd hook up the laptop.... only to find I will need to get an adapter for it to plug into the monitor. It doesn't have a place on the laptop for the one plug, but has a lot of USB ports. I was disappointed for I wanted to surprise him. I didn't know about the adapter until I sent a text over to my granddaughter and told her my dilemna... and she mentioned I could get an adapter. They may have one they aren't using and is going to check. They aren't that much, but I don't know whether to get hdmi or vga. Our anniversary isn't until next month; it's back in the box and he doesn't know about it, so I have time to get it figured out.
The Passion translation of Psalm 19:13-14 really spoke to me this morning. I know I struggle in many areas.... and you know I do because I open myself up here and share way too much.... and I know that many of you have the same struggles at times..... you are not alone. So I will leave you with this....
Psalm 19:13-14 (TPT) Keep cleansing me, God, and keep me from my secret, selfish sins, may they never rule over me! For only then will I be free from fault and remain innocent of rebellion. So may the words of my mouth, my meditation-thoughts, and every movement of my heart be always pure and pleasing, acceptable before your eyes, my only Redeemer, my Protector-God.
Blessings upon your day.
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