Here it is the July 4th weekend and I think for just about the first time ever, we will be gathering with no one. It feels odd. It feels sad. I so much miss our family gatherings, and some of the grandchildren have mentioned it to me as well the past few months of how they miss family getting together. It breaks my heart that my children have gone their own ways. But it is their choice to be alone. No matter what, we are family. I get to be off Monday since the 4th falls on Sunday this year.
Today I have Needles of Hope, which is the crochet/kitting group I go to once a month. It is from 9AM-12PM and it is my time with other women. We always have a good time and many of these 5-10 women that come are old and dear friends. We enjoy (donuts sometimes too, with our coffee) being together and catching up on life. I'm nearly finished on this one project I'm doing so may start something new or find something else to take to work on.
I slept until 5:40AM this morning and I don't want to leave my time alone. Hubby got up a little after 6AM and brought me my coffee and now it is nearly 7AM. I'm usually out of here by that time, but with getting up later, I don't wanna. If I don't come out soon, I'm sure hubby will be at the door asking if I'm going to Needles of Hope. My need for being alone is sometimes overwhelming. Not that I don't always want to be with others, but with having to be home with hubby 24x7 as a rule, I'm feeling caged in - literally. Oh well, that's my life.
My big brother text'd me the other day that he has ordered me something. It wasn't to be shipped for three weeks, but somehow it got messed up and it has been shipped already and will be here by Friday next week. Usually he makes me wait until my birthday or Christmas before I can open anything, but this time he said that I could go ahead and open it; he is getting soft. I have no idea what it can be. He said to count it as an early birthday gift. We don't usually exchange gifts, so it is always a surprise when he does send something. He will even go to the trouble of shipping me a box of chocolates. I love that about him. What could he have ordered that would take so long to get here? Via UPS. Ugh. UPS. I think they wait until they are going to be in our area before they decide to deliver. Many times I will get notifications that delivery of something has been changed to the next day, then the next day, before they finally get around to delivering it. Sometimes I am confused as to what I receive. One birthday - in August, mind you - he sent me a thick wrap blanket. And you know what? I use it every day. At first I'm going 'it's August, why would you send me a blanket?' - but here it is July a few years later, and here I sit with the blanket over me. Every day. And every day I remember my big brother who loves me enough to surprise me on occasion with a gift.
Writing and deleting... that seems to be what I'm doing this morning. Today I am feeling somewhat depleted of anything of value to say. Perhaps some days it sounds like that, but I leave it there anyway. Sorry about that.
Have you ever said something - or written something - and wished that you didn't? Naw, me either. I'm kidding. Yes, that does happen. More frequently than one would want to admit to. But this is my 'safe' place, albeit I don't know who all reads this. But perhaps it shows that that perhaps their life isn't so bad... and that others have some of the same issues they do... and we all fall under grace.
Grace. God's Grace. The only Grace that redeems us, that sets us free from the things that hold us. I had a couple rough days this past week and I am grateful for God's Grace that covers me when I confess to Him my wrong. Yes, I also slip and fall.... sometimes more frequently and harder than you would think. But when i go to my Father and confess and ask forgiveness, He covers me with His grace. I am lost without it, and so are you.
We all live in a fallen world and every one of us sins, for none of us are perfect. Some do it by actions, some do it by behavior, some do it in their words, some do it intentionally, some do it without thinking about it. When we don't love others the way Christ loves us.... when we don't live the way the Bible teaches us to live.... to do unto others as we would have them do unto us.... when we don't forgive others and yet we want forgiven....
I told you that I am not quite ready to face today, didn't I? And yet, I must. I must get up out of my chair, remove myself from my sanctuary, get dressed and get ready to face the day. I don't wanna. It's kind of like Heather Land - heard of her? She does a lot of the 'I ain't doing it' videos. Cracks me up most times. And most times I can agree with her. Only she gets to make money off it. I see she is getting ready to do a tour.
I finished the Elijah Bible study that my sister and I were doing together. It was a great study and I learned a lot from it. He's still one of my favorite prophets in the Old Testament. My sister and I still need to discuss the last week of the lesson, but she has been busy helping her sister-in-law move to a new house. I suggested we wait until September before starting a new study.... not sure what we will do. I have 4 books that are 90 days so whichever one we do, it will cover us for three months. If we start in September, we can finish the end of November and then take December off and start again in January. I'm enjoying the learning part again... it's been a long time since I've been studying and learning. I have missed teaching a Bible study class.
Well, I hear hubby is up and taking Sheeba out and it's nearly 7:30AM and I need to get moving myself. Don't need to leave for about an hour yet, but need to at least get dressed before I do.
Do something fun and out of the ordinary this weekend. Do a movie marathon, if it is something you haven't done for awhile. Pop popcorn and just chill for a day. Pick up a book and read it all the way through. Go to the mall or some place where it's cool and walk. Think of a hobby you keep wanting to start and haven't yet - do it! Bake something special. Create something. Write that book.
Do something out of the ordinary.
Live life. Don't let another day go by without being a part of the day. Make it happen.
Blessings!
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