Has it really been that long that September 11, 2001 was here? Twenty-one years ago that both towers of the World Trade Center were destroyed by a plane? The pentagon was attacked by another plane. And yet another plane crashed into the ground, diverted from it's goal. What a time that was. The memories of what we watched on TV. The horror of lives lost. The effects, even now, of what happened that day. We shall not forget, O God, how You stood with us that day in spite of the enemy's attack.
I was already at work that morning. I worked for Mercy Care Plan and usually went in to work at 6AM and was already busy. Soon a few other employees came in, one went to turn on a TV in the conference room on. It was all surreal as we got calls about what had happened. We were told we could go home, that the company would pay us for that day, for they knew they wouldn't get much work out of most; glued to the TV to see what was happening. I chose to stay and work as I wouldn't be glued to the TV all day at home; I would rather keep busy. I worked, and occasionally would go into the conference room to watch what was going on. How can we ever forget?
Father, I pray that You would put a shield of protection over the United States, that You will keep Your hand upon us, that Your children will turn their hearts back to You. Oh Father, that You would bring revival to this nation, that our hearts will be turned back to You as one. Bring restoration, Lord, bring revival, bring healing, bring Yourself to our hearts, Lord.
I love watching Jentezen Franklin. He just told something funny. I didn't see where the scripture was, he was reading of when Jesus had died and appeared back to His disciples and showed them His hands and feet, and told them, "Give me something to eat". They gave Him a piece of broiled fish and bread. That's when Jentezen said that vegetarians would have to sit at another table other than he and Jesus cause Jesus ate meat. I can't say it right, but it was funny the way Jentezen said it. I don't eat much meat, but I do eat it.
The influence of Jesus is all over us, do you know that? Do you see His hand upon your life in all things? No matter happens to you, His hand is all over you.
Hubby and I had an 'intense' time yesterday and it was my fault. But his anger at the incident was unacceptable. I had accidently left the bottom drawer of the dresser open yesterday when I got dressed to leave. It wasn't intentional. I was searching for pants and pulled out a pair I wasn't sure would fit... and just left the drawer open (the pants fit - yay). After I left, hubby came home and decided to make the bed, and as he started to walk around to my side, he nearly tripped over the drawer. He caught himself; he did not fall. But for the remaining three hours that I was gone, instead of thanking God he hadn't fallen, and moving on, he fueled the flames of his anger at me for leaving the drawer open. By the time I got home, he unleashed his fury for several minutes. At first I didn't even remember opening the drawer as I am rarely in the dresser at all. When I did remember, I apologized I had left it open. That only added fuel that I could have let him get hurt; he could have fallen; he could have hit his head and he could have laid there for three hours until I got back home. His fury at me was unleased 10-fold.
I wanted to respond in anger at his anger... but God held me back, and kept me silent. I was shaken at his anger at me, and I came in here and sat for a couple hours while he continued to watch his football game. He knew I didn't want to be around him. He left me alone. He did come in a couple times and commented "so you are going to stay in here now?" sarcastically. I didn't respond other than I wanted to be alone. I tried to read. I ended up flipping through my phone, something I don't like to do. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to be alone. God and I had a talk. I chose to thank Him for not allowing Tom to fall.
Eventually I came out and fixed dinner; we ate, then watched movies the rest of the evening. When we went to bed, I could not sleep. Hubby knew he had drawn a line between us with his anger and he chose to get close to me to where I had no room to turn. It was awhile before I could sleep, and then I didn't sleep well.
But I'm finding I'm not angry with him. And I believe that is God working in me. I've sought after God so long and so hard that I believe that He is working in me not to hold on to anger and bitterness. I've prayed for years to let go of some things, and He has showed me He has answered my prayers. It's hard to explain. Sometimes it is good to be angry, and sometimes we build up walls of protection around our hearts, but it isn't good to hang on to anger. Anger destroys, it doesn't build up. Anger controls, not enables. Anger brings bitterness and sickness. I choose to live, I choose to be healthy. I choose to live without the anger, no matter how justified it is. I choose to put it all in His hands, and allow God to deal with the issue, deal with the person. I choose life.
A little boy went into the grocery store and stood looking at a barrel full of candy. The shop owner knew the boy didn't have any money, so he told the little boy to just reach in and grab a handful of candy, but the little boy just stood there, looking into the barrel. Once again the shop owner told the little boy to reach in and grab a handful of candy, that he would take care of it. Still, the little boy just stood there and looked into the barrel. In exasperation the shop owner reached in with both his own hands and pulled out a huge amount of candy and told the boy to cup his hands, which he did. The candy fell into the little boy's hands. As he turned to leave, the shop owner called out to the little boy and asked him why he didn't reach in and get the candy when he was told to. The little boy replied, "Because I knew your hands were bigger."
You know what? God's hands are much bigger than ours and He wants to bless you and bless me with far more than we could ever hope or imagine. He keeps telling us to do and take from His goodness, but we sometimes think 'we aren't worthy' of anything. Do you know people like that? You try to give them something they need, and they try to refuse you, saying 'it's ok, we'll get by'. Or 'I don't need that'. I don't know about you, but I know people like that. I could probably say that I used to be like that as well. Call it pride if you want. And that could be. Or it could be we don't feel worthy of someone doing something for us. But I have learned....
That's God's hands are so much bigger than mine and He uses people to bless me. He gives me so much that I never could imagine the blessings He gives. He brings people into our lives that enrich our lives when we let them. He allows 'bad stuff' to happen, so that we can see more of His goodness. Stop and look back over your life and see how God and blessed you. He loves you more than you could ever hope or imagine. When you feel unloved and unworthy, He is holding you close and gathering you near him, and telling you how much He loves you. You may think you are far away from Him, but you aren't. You see, He has your name written on the palm of His hand.
Anything He has done for others, He can do for you. Do you believe that? I challenge you. You haven't seen God's best yet for you. Grab hold of God like Jacob and don't let Him loose until He blesses you. I choose to be dangerous for God. I believe God can do anything He promises. I believe my life is in His hands, and when He chooses to take me home, it will be the right time. When He chooses to take you home, it is always the right time. Are you ready? He is a good God; praise Him; love Him; adore Him.
His goodness is running after you. When your life is laid down and surrendered to Him, His goodness is running after you. Spiritually, pack your bags, God is going to take you to some spots and places that are miracle places for your destiny. There is a revival coming to America. He is ready to pour out His spirit upon you, upon your children, upon your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren. Tell your family about Jesus. Make sure they are walking the right road in life. And make sure you will be with them in heaven when God calls you home. It only takes a minute. Choose Jesus, and see His love and goodness for you. Don't delay; start today.
"Where He leads me I will follow; where He leads me, I will follow. Where He leads me, I will follow, I'll go with Him, with Him, all the way."
Blessings!
