It was late - for me

 I cannot believe I slept until about 5:50AM this morning!  I did go to bed about 9:45PM last night, but I slept sound and did not get up at all.  I remember groggily (is that a word?) awaking in the wee hours of the morning and told myself to shut my eyes and go back to sleep.  Hubby didn't get up much before me as he had the coffee pot going when I got up.  I think it was just complete exhaustion from the week and I needed the rest.  And you know what?  I did feel rested when I got up. Yes, I could have gone back to sleep, but I don't like wasting my day in bed.  There is too much 'life' that I WANT to do (I don't always live it) and I want to get up and enjoy it.  Staying in bed (trust me, I used to stay in bed LATE just because I COULD) just doesn't do it for me anymore.  I want to live life - whether it is doing something around the house (when I'm 'allowed' to), doing something outside, crocheting, cooking/baking, sewing, or whatever. I want to LIVE LIFE.  What about you?  Do you lay in bed dozing off and on most of the morning and then drag yourself out to just survive the day?  I'm sure there are many people that do.  I used to be one of them, many, many years ago.

If I sat down and wrote down everything that I would want to do, I'd have a hundred things on the list. Well, maybe only 50.  But there is so much I do want to do.  From cleaning out closets to creating masterpieces of whatever.  But I struggle to do what I do.... and I think I'll leave that there.  Sometimes when people can't do something, they keep other people from doing them so that they don't feel bad about themselves.  Does that make sense?  Sigh.  Or (to me) worse yet, they want to 'do it with you' so you can do it 'together'.  I'm sorry, but I don't need you to hold my screwdriver while I hold the screw!!  I just like proving to myself that I can do things.  Does that make sense?  I don't want to hear excuses of why you can't do it; let me do it and be quiet.  I know the limitations.  Just let it go and leave me be.  Right?

Wow - where did all that come from?  I think my mind was going ahead to what I'd love to push myself to do today.  Hubby fixed me breakfast yesterday.  I told him one egg.  He fixed two.  And three sausages a piece.  (still miss my bread) And then he commented, "See, I do know how to cook breakfast!"  Did I ever say he didn't know how to cook breakfast?  I think it was more an affirmation that he can do something. He does do all the laundry.  He most of the time does the dishes (I do my pans because, well, just because I'm picky) and usually that is the silverware and two small plates, for I put the food on the plates so that we don't overeat. He said he didn't sleep well the night before..... so he came to me around noon and said he was sorry, but he was going to take a nap.  I don't care; I'm working, right?  (Although yesterday was a 'dead' day - no meetings given to me whatsoever to make. I created one NDA and that was it) He slept 3 hours.  I was surprised he was ready to go to bed around 9PM last night (after falling asleep during a movie).  I finished reading my Bible and I followed him to bed about 9:30PM.  We live such a lively and exciting life, don't we?

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and I had told hubby not to buy me anything.  I gave him a book I thought he might enjoy reading.  And a Blue Mountain card.  He liked it.  He gave me a very nice card.  And I'm ok with that.  Funny thing.... since I didn't have much to do yesterday for work, I started pulling out the receipts in the tray on my desk and sorting them out for taxes, which we will get done next month.  As I was going through the receipts, I found the card hubby had given to me back in 2023.  Want to hear something funny?  He had given me a blank check inside of the card, made out to the guy I have doing my hair, and had told me that he would pay for the next color/cut/style - whatever I wanted. I never used it.  Now all I get is a trim most times.  I'm trying to let it grow out again, but it is getting thinner and I'm not sure what to do about that.  I handed him the envelope and asked him to look at what I found.  LOL He couldn't believe I hadn't cashed the check (he would have if he had noticed two years ago that the check had not been cashed.)!  He told me to use it 'next time'.  Well, I had already txt'd my guy and asked when he could get me in. I really do need a trim.  He said he didn't have any openings until next Saturday afternoon.  In my stubbornness, I told him no; if he gets a cancellation, to let me know, otherwise, I'll wait.  Actually, what I said was something like, I'll wait; unless I cut it off myself.  I think that shocked him - he knows my cutting hair abilities.  Like, which are none.  

I have been toying with the idea of cutting it shorter as my hair is getting thinner and it is straight - so very straight.  Then I go to the mailbox yesterday and one of the neighbors is there and she comments she loves my hair (now mind you, I have the top pulled back and clipped, the rest is just hanging straight).  I told her I was debating on getting it cut cause it was starting to thin out.  She looked at me and said 1) you can do so much more with it when it's long, and 2) it will be thin when it's short too and it will be harder to hide the scalp.  Good point.  I told her that I think she convinced me to keep my 'semi-long' hair.  I just need to work with it and see how to fix it.  Without going anywhere during the week, I don't do anything to it.  Well, I brush it, yes, but then just clip it back.  Maybe I need to take better care of me.  Novel thought, isn't it? 'Someone' posts all the time on facebook that they are doing 'self-care' - maybe I should think about doing some of my own self-care.  Novel thought, huh?  You can only do so much with this face, though!  

A friend from the RV park called me yesterday and said she was doing a monologue at the RV park church on Sunday and wanted me to come take her place in the choir.  What is that about?  I would love to hear her monologue, so hubby and I will be going there to church on Sunday (instead of going out to breakfast, the original plan).  Yes, that means I have to fix my hair. And put on make-up.  Moreso than just going out to breakfast.  And dress up.  Cause that is just what I do.  I am sure many people will ask if I'm preaching that Sunday, for that is the only time we go there, but no, I am not.  I don't go back until March 2nd, then April 6th and then I'm done for the season there.  Still have March 16th at the RV Park up north.  I should be hearing about the schedule for next year soon.  From both places.

I John 4:10 (NLT):  This is real love -- not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

Have you ever thought about that before?  The reason that Jesus came to earth from heaven, was born to a virgin, and walked upon this earth, was for only one reason.  Can you even think of that thought He carried around with Him all those 33 years of His life?  I'm sure He thought of it often.  His purpose. His reason.  And He loved us.  So much. That He would do what He did.  That He would love everyone. That He would heal many. That He taught about the Kingdom of God. That He wanted to be with us. He still does, you know.  Just not in person as then.  But Jesus walked upon this earth, because He loved us so much, because He knew that He would be the lamb, the sacrifice put upon the altar, the altar this time the old rugged wooden cross. And He would be beaten, and scourged, and His flesh ripped apart, and be nailed to this cross as OUR sacrifice, for ALL our sins.  Even those we may commit tomorrow, or next week, or next year or so on.  No, that does not give us permission to keep on sinning, knowing that when we run back to Jesus and ask forgiveness, that He will give us grace.  But He is our sacrifice once and for all.  To take away all our sins, and set us free.

And all we have to do is humble ourselves before Him, seek Him, and ask forgiveness.  He forgives each one of us, including me, of all that we've done, and wipes the stains from our life and makes us white as snow.  That is real love, my friend.  We can say we 'love' God all we want.  But are we living like we love God with all our heart?  He loved us so much that He died for us.  He died for me. He died for you.  If you were the only person in the world, Jesus still would have come and died for you, so that you can be reconciled to Him, and be with Him forever in eternity.  That, my friend, is love.

Since I got up later than usual and this is Saturday and I don't have to rush to get anything done (in fact, I'm going out for another cup of coffee!!), I've done this before I settle in for serious time with my Lord. If I stop writing in here, believe it or not, I would get back about 45 minutes of my time.  But then, what would you read? LOL I think it's time I close this off - and do some reading. I love my alone time with God.  Even though I share it with you.  Have a great day!

Blessings!

The pain is real

 I think I have mentioned before that I usually start off sleeping on my left side.  And, I think I shared that when I got bit by the bedbugs up north the other week, one thing that also brought me wide awake, besides the bites, was my left hip had intense pain and the pain was shooting down my left thigh.  It went away then, and although it came back 4 nights in a row, it had gone away.  This morning I was awakened again with intense pain in my left hip (and I was actually sleeping on my right side at that time) and down my thigh and into my leg.  I've been up two hours and it is still hurting.  I haven't taken anything - yet - but I have a feeling that I may be taking one of those Advil plus pills to offset the pain.  We were planning on trying out a new church this morning, now I'm not sure I can sit through one comfortably.  I haven't said anything to hubby, other than he asked if we were going to try this church and I said I was 'wavering' on going.  I'm debating if I need to go to my medical doctor to get referred for tests for my hip.  Plus, sigh, the other night my vision went crazy.  I haven't told anyone about that.  Well, that's not true, when it happened the first time, several months ago, I did tell my vision specialist.  But it happened again the other night, and THAT is scary.  What happens?  It's like my vision goes cross-eyed and wobbly - my vision seems to bounce for a few minutes before it gets settled down.   What is going on in my body??? Sounds like I need not only my hip checked out, but my head examined too!  (could the vision issues be related - ocular headaches versus wobbling vision?)  I don't think this is 'old age' stuff. I am beginning to feel something is wrong.  Enough about my 'health'.

Yesterday was a good day, I think.  I did cook breakfast.  Hubby was happy as Notre Dame was playing at 9AM so I fixed 'breakfast in a bowl' and took to him to eat while he was watching the game.  I started some baking.  I wanted to get started on my cranberry pumpkin nut bread so got a batch of that in the oven and decided I would take some frozen bananas from the freezer (I had put in there when they went bad) and make banana bread.  Well, I got the sugar and butter creamed together and started on the bananas. They looked so nasty I just couldn't do it, so dumped them down the garbage disposal.  (they probably would have been ok if I had peeled before freezing, but squeezing them out of the banana peel was nasty) So then what was I to do with the creamed sugar and butter?  Decided to 'work with it'.  I added an egg, some flour, and mixed together.  Threw in some chocolate and coconut.  Baked a batch. Not bad, but kind of bland.  So I added a lot of cinnamon and some nuts - and you know what - they turned out pretty good. No, I probably would not write down that recipe, but they are edible.  Now what to do with them cause we don't need them. My original plan was banana bread to put in the freezer.  

After that I cleaned up my mess and then finished up a blanket I was making and took a short nap. Started another blanket, although I really wanted to get on a quilt for one of the granddaughters.  Will 'try' to get on that today.  Need to find my hoop in the garage to put the quilt in to stitch.  Time is getting away from me; if I want to accomplish all I want, I must get busy and stay focused on it.  Since I didn't pull out the quilt to get started, finished up one blanket and started another as we watched 2 or 3 movies last night.  Read my bible a bit before heading to bed last night.  It was a good day, I think. 

I do need to get out of this house today. I know I need to pick up some things at the store, and yet, I tell myself I can get by without it, and don't go. That's what happened yesterday.  There is nothing I really 'need'.... but things I do need to pick up. Maybe.  Will make a decision a some point - either I go or I don't. See how boring my life is?  I may need to go just to get myself out of the house, and if hubby will let me go alone, that's good that I can be alone with my thoughts.

Watching Jentezen Franklin at Free Chapel this morning.  How I wish that church was here!  Although I have heard they have 'home groups' for Free Chapel here in my city.  But I think about the next few months of speaking at the RV parks which means we will be gone....and I wonder why start a church only to not go those times.  Which also means, I need to get thoughts put to paper - November 10th is my first time, and I have twice in December.  Plus two in January.  I've got to get busy and get some messages at least started. I've had all summer and I've done nothing on it.  I did get a little done on this last Friday, but not much. Need to focus on that today.  I know we have about 2 k-cups left so I need to pick up a box of k-cups at Sam's Club sometime today.  I told hubby we do have ground coffee, and he could make a pot of coffee.  But we usually only drink one cup a day. Maybe I should get out my French press.  

Romans 8:35-39  (NKJV):  Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, "For Your sake, we are killed all day long. We are counted as sheep for the slaughter."  Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present not things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We are more than conquerors. With just those words, I know that I am more than what I count myself. No matter what I go through, God will always pull me through and help me to stand on both feet.  No matter what I go through, real or imagined, I know that His love is never separated from me. When I fail Him, He doesn't kick me out of the way.  He gently stoops down and picks me up and stands me back on my feet.  The many times I have sunk into depression and fallen into the pit, when I cry out to Him, He lets down the lifeline and pulls me up out of that pit and sets my feet on solid ground.

And He will do that for you as well.  We think we are 'fine', and we'll get through whatever is coming up against us without any help, yet, we have to know that we can do everything through Christ who strengthens us.  Life is so much easier with Jesus in it.  No matter what I go through; no matter what struggles you are having right now, Jesus is always the answer.

It's 11:59PM.  At midnight, Jesus comes. Are you ready to meet Him?  Do you claim Him as Lord?  Please don't wait until the 'last minute' - in that last minute, you may not have time.  Do a 11:59PM miracle and accept Jesus as Lord now.  Let your chains fall off in the name of Jesus!

Blessings!

Lunch with my peers today

 Today is our admin lunch day - about six of us admins get together once a quarter and have lunch and catch up.  Just to connect in person.  5 women; 1 guy.  He's not really an 'admin', but works in that capacity so we invite him.  Going to my favorite deli today so it's close by.  Might grab something for my daughter and I for dinner tonight so that we don't have to worry about that.  Last week she brought something; I'll pick up something this time.  At least I get a break in my day, which is always a good thing.

I have some difficult projects to do for work and I procrastinated yesterday.  I really need to get these done and off my plate for I will be receiving emails shortly if I don't!  I don't care much for doing contracts and my boss terminated two that shouldn't have been, so now I need to call the provider offices and get the information and resubmit new contracts.  I have no idea who to call, nor do I want to.  But I don't have a choice, so guess I will do it.  At least he is off on Friday so I should have a decent 'catch-up from the week' day then.

My trainer really pushed me last night; the back of my legs and my 'cheeks' are kind of sore this morning. The sad part is, if I tell her then she will say that makes her very happy!  She is good, I will admit it, and she is tough.  Can't is not in her vocabulary, and I said 'that word' a couple times last night and she corrected me.  But the exercises were so tough!  YOU lay down on the floor, put a 6" board or something at your feet and put one heel on it.  Then raise one leg up in the air (the other is still on the board 6" high) and push your butt up.  I kept reminding her that my butt is pretty heavy.  She was also wanting me to lift 20 pounds while doing this - but I could barely get my butt off the ground so she put the weight away.  This time, she said.  Sigh.  I have a feeling I will be doing this exercise again sometime.  Although, these exercises she has been making me do, most are not repeats.  And I love that she doesn't always use the machines so is teaching me exercises that I can do at home.  Seriously.  This one I can do at home.  Many others I can do at home.  Just tell me to do them. LOL  I've got to get over my laziness and just do it!! I'd be in great shape if I didn't procrastinate, right?

The box from my sister arrived yesterday, and in it was a small book called The Dash (remember that story?)  She also sent a top that 'looks' too big for me (she said it was too big for her so she sent it to me?), a really pretty long dress with a jacket that I really like and am hoping I can fit in to (now why would she buy something like that - she never wears a long dress, let alone one with a jacket), and also a t-shirt that has on the front of it "This is how I fight my battles'.  AND a huge baggie full of riesens candy. After I told her to quit sending them to me!  Melted, of course, I've had to hide them. I've discovered they give me gas - don't laugh - they do!! so I can't eat them.  Wonder who I can give them to?   Anyway, does one even wonder why she and her hubby are always fighting about not having any money?  (erase erase)

Isaiah 26:3 (NLT):  You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You!

That is pretty self-explanatory, don't you think?  If we keep our eyes on Jesus, and obey Him, and put all our troubles, all our hopes, in Him, we will have perfect peace.  Lord knows how we seem to take every single issue and make a mountain out of it!  But when we release it to Him to take care of, the peace that we can receive can move those mountains of frustration, of anger, of fear.  I have to give each day to Jesus; He knows I can make such a mess out of things that I need Him to direct my path and keep me focused on Him so that I will keep my mouth shut and do right.  It's when I push through on my own way, my own thing, that I fail and have to repent.

It's like having that 'discussion' with Ms. Diane last week.  When she said she'd rather go to hell than vote for Trump - well, I lost it.  I knew she was a democrat, and that didn't faze me.  I still love her. But when she said that, I knew that her hatred ran deep for him and I needed to get out of there before I said something I shouldn't.  So I just told her I loved her, but I needed to leave.  Part of me misses her; the other part doesn't want to go over for fear she will start up again on her hatred.  If she remembers. There is that too.  It broke me to hear her say that; but I was so shocked, I could only walk away.  I think that is the only thing I could have done.  And I pray for her.  Not that she will vote for Trump - that's irrelevant.  I pray that her eyes will be opened and she will allow Jesus to be Lord of her life and not just in words, but in her heart.  I pray that she will seek Him and know Him on a personal level.

John 3:16 (NKJV):  For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

God, in all His glory, sent His only Son, Jesus, to die for each one of us. Even those who hate Trump. Even those who hate Harris.  Jesus died, He was our sacrifice, so that we can live.  There is no greater sacrifice.  All we have to do is accept it.  Believe that Jesus is the Son of God, that He was crucified for our sins, died, was buried, rose again on the third day, and now sits with our Heavenly Father at His right hand.  So may people claim to believe that, but their lives and actions do not show it.

Rapid Repentance is a major key in life. Yes, I know I have touched on that before.  Sometimes we know as we sin, that we are doing wrong.  Sometimes we don't realize it until later.  Sometimes we meditate on what we will do (yes, you know we all do!) and know it is wrong.... but when we realize our wrong and confess it to Jesus and sincerely repent and ask His forgiveness, He gives it freely.  That's why He went to the cross.  For you and for me.  Trust me, we're on a first name basis when it comes to repentance!  Oh that I could get my life together and be without sin - but there is only One who was without sin, and will always be without sin.  And that is Jesus. He is the Perfect One.  We all will fall short of the glory of God.  But Jesus.....He is the Way, the Truth, and the Light.  In Him is no darkness.  Glory!

With taking a 2 hour minimum lunch today with the admins, I probably need to get an early start this morning.  Grateful hubby is having breakfast with a friend this morning so I won't have a lot of interruptions before I leave.  He is so used to my being home all day, if I ever had to go back into the office full time, I honestly don't know what he'd do!  

And with all that rambling.... I will hush for today.  Hope that your day is full of love, joy, warmth, and special memories and blessings.

Blessings!

It did start out good....

 When hubby and I came out of our respective morning places, I suggested we go to The Boyer Bakery, which is just down the street, and grab breakfast.  He quickly agreed (and he even paid for it!)  He got a scorched caramel macchiato. And a blueberry bagel with pimento cheese on it.  I ended up with a mocha with an almond croissant.  All was good - but the croissant was almost too much for me.  And the mocha - way too sweet for me to handle.  I drank half, then later that morning I heated the rest up - took two swallows and dumped the rest.  But it was nice to get out and try this new place.  A little pricey, but we wouldn't know if we didn't go.

We sat out side for a little bit and just talked, then I got the urge to go 'thrifting'.  And that's when it started.  I came in and was sitting on the couch reading something on facebook when he just had to say something like 'aren't you going thrifting?'  It left me with the impression of 'get going so that I can turn on the TV'.  Yeah, it did.  I told him that he was rushing me out of the door so that the TV could be turned on - and it escalated a bit from there and I grabbed my keys and walked out the door.  He then text'd me and apologized and said that it wasn't true he was rushing me out.  And yes, he did turn on the TV.   He apologized and asked forgiveness for what it seemed.  I stayed out and went to a thrift store (didn't see anything I wanted to buy (they did have a grandfather clock for $100 and although I wanted it bad, I have no place to put it).  I then went to Ross and bought a couple things, and then to Savers, and bought some books.  I was just in a stroll through mood.

Stopped and picked up a couple combo meals from Leo's Island BBQ and came home.  We ate dinner and I sat down and finished one book - and completely read through another last night!  I've gotten 10 books down on my 50 goal.  Hubby actually left the TV off last night.  The TV will probably be on this afternoon - no biggie.  Or we both may just take a nap.  Nothing really on the agenda.  Might get some more reading done if the TV is left off.  He may ask to watch a movie - and that is ok - I can sit and crochet.  I'm wanting to start working on quilts again.... not sure if my hands/fingers can handle it now as they sometimes will cramp up.  But I do have my sewing machine and it would be much faster.  But I have this thing about someone looking over my shoulder while I do it.  sigh. I know, 'get over it'.  I have he material; and my batting got delivered by Amazon this morning.  I love Amazon.  I don't have to leave my chair to do my shopping.  And its sometimes delivered the next day.

My daughter goes in for her surgery on Wednesday.  I asked if I could bring a dish or two over for them while she is recovering.  LOL  She didn't hesitate to say 'garbage'!  So I will make a dish of garbage and take over probably on Thursday or Friday, as she will sleep once she is back home - and it sounds like - without any complications - they will do the surgery in the morning and send home in the evening.  Definitely am in prayer for her and for the doctors doing the surgery!

Didn't get cookies made yesterday - totally forgot.  Hopefully will remember today to bake them.  I did get my message for next Sunday typed out.  It's in draft form so will be working on it this week.  What's it about?  It's about Hope.  And our Hope is Jesus.

Psalm 18:2 (NLT):  "I love you, Lord; You are my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my Savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety."

Who would you say the Lord is to you?  Is He your Friend?  Is He your Savior?   Is His name only one you roll your eyes at whenever is is mentioned?   Who is God to you?  Who is Jesus to you? 

How could one not love the Lord with all our heart, all our soul, and all our mind, as we are encouraged to do?  Do you not realize that the very hair on your head is numbered by Him?  He is the One who keeps you.  He is the One who answers prayers.  Granted, the answers may not be the one we want to hear or see, but our God can see so far in the future - and we cannot.  We only see what is in front of us and know our wants and we want it now.  But God doesn't work that way.  He does what is best for us.  He loves you and loves me so much that He won't always give us what we ask for - or what we want.  He gives us Himself, and that should be enough.

Have a blessed day.

Blessings!

The busyness started yesterday......

 Oh what fun I had having breakfast with my boss and another friend.  It was so good to see them face-to-face and be able to catch up on life.  My boss gave me a basket full of goodies that she put together and some things she had made, such as honey mustard nuts (I think) and candied nuts.  I remembered last night that I didn't open the card she had put in it ... which I will this morning as I move the basket out of the way.  I love it  and I really enjoy when people get creative and make things. She also made her Italian cookies and I never can spell the name of them, but it starts with a p. Something like pizzellas or along those lines.  Flat cookies that are made in a design press.  She makes them every year because her husband is part Italian.   It was fun seeing our other friend who joined us and heard what is going on with her.

After I came home from that, I jumped back on the computer for awhile to catch up on messages.  Then my middle son, dressed as Santa Claus, came by as he was going to be Santa up at his wife's work - only there was a change of plans and he wasn't, so he changed out of his costume.  Then just as he was leaving here, he got the phone call he was 'back on' so went on up to the facility and put his costume back on.  Hope that went well for him.  So proud of his 'volunteer' work as Santa.  Even old people enjoy seeing Santa and sitting on his lap.

Soon after, our grandsons up in St John called and facetimed us so that we could see them all open their Christmas gifts, along with our great granddaughter.  They seemed to like everything, and the boys were grateful for the clothes.  But what made me smile?  When one of the grandsons opened a special gift from grandma and goes 'oh wow' and seemed not only surprised, but very happy.  What was it?  Don't tell, but each of the grandchildren are getting a special gift with a special recipe on it.  And because I know one granddaughter occasionally reads on here, I can't say what it is... although she may not have time to read it this morning with getting ready to come over here.  I didn't even know she read this even occasionally.... until she called me one day upset about something I had written - and it was easier for me to delete it than try to correct it. Short story; not going there.

After that, I did do a run over to see Ms. Amy, finally.  She was happy to see me and I took her over some goodies and a small plant.  We visited for about an hour, then she wanted to walk me through the assisted living to see where they play bingo, have dinner, etc.  Bless her heart... at one point in our conversation she started to cry when she said she had told someone there she wouldn't be here next year... she is so lonely and being alone here during the holidays is hard for her.  So, I guess that means she will be moving in a few months to Florida to be closer to her daughters.  I'll miss her but we can keep in touch.  

Which reminds me, while I was out for breakfast yesterday, my little sister text'd me that her friend who recently found out that her cancer has returned.... her husband unexpectedly passed away during the night.  Why do these things happen on top of the other.  The blessing is that he wasn't real well, and he won't be suffering anymore, but also while she is having to go through her chemo, she won't have to worry about his care at home.  God, please be with Kathy and bring her comfort and peace, and healing.

I had plans to make more salsa last night.... and get part of the lunch put together last night - when I remembered I have no room in either refrigerator.  NONE.  I have numerous jars of salsa in one refrigerator because it has to remain refrigerated.  It takes up most of the room - plus add in numerous packages of hamburger (that I will use this morning in making garbage) and the other refrigerator has our usual V8 cans and tart cherry juice and water and milk, and other stuff in it.  There is just no room for anything in either refrigerator.  So I did nothing last night.  Not really anything I could do.

With all that is going on around me, it is weighing on me this morning.  I think of Ms. Diane across the street whose companion passed away earlier this year.  Ms. Vicky next door; her daughter, who had moved in with her during the summer, moved out a few weeks ago and in with her boyfriend, whom her mother doesn't like. And she's alone.  I feel bad for them.  And I want to fix up baskets of goodies for each one of them.  In the midst of meal prep this morning I want to get started on that.  You know how I love to cook and give it away.  I have a lot I want to get done this morning.

My big brother sent me two gifts; I'm pretty sure I know what both are.  One, I mentioned it is the same size as my clock box....  and the one that arrived yesterday 'rattles like a puzzle'.  So what he has done, as he did before, he has taken a photo and had it made into a puzzle.  I'm curious which photo he has chosen.  We text'd yesterday and he said that I could open my gifts today.  I'll do it later today; perhaps before my youngest arrives, if I have time.  Yes, I could do it this morning, and if I take a breather, I just may do that.  

In spite of all I need to do this morning, and need to get started on it soon, I'm grateful I have this time that I take to spend with God and to write in here.  This is most important to me.  Tomorrow, being Christmas, is the only time we change this up.  Hubby and I will get up and we will open our gifts first, then will take time to do our quiet time after.  Most Christmases my quiet time has been scarce, as I am usually trying to get lunch pulled together, but this Christmas, I will have all day to pull it together as our middle child and his family won't come until later that evening.  We mentioned to plan on 6-6:30PM so that he isn't rushed, which will make us eat dinner around 8PM... which is very late for most people.  Perhaps if they finish early they will come on over.  I know it's hard to get everyone together when some don't live nearby and you want your own time with them.  Perhaps I should have stuck with 'garbage' where I could just throw it in the oven... but, we're having it twice so BBQ ribs sounded much better and I have the time to get it done.  We'll be eating more this weekend than we do in a week.

Matthew 6:33 (NKJV):  "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

I know that when I put God first every day, I don't have to worry about how the rest of the day will turn out.  In spite of all the busyness I think I need to get done, since I'm spending time with Jesus first this morning, He will help me get the things accomplished that I need to get done.  I'm seeking Him first, and He knows what I want to do today.  He will get it done.  Perhaps all my plans are not important.  And you know what, that's ok. He knows what is best.  And I chose best.

Take a few minutes and just spend it with Jesus this morning.  His birthday is tomorrow.  In case you forget to tell Him then, you can tell Him today.  Happy early Birthday, Jesus!  Thank you for being the 'reason for the season' and we celebrate You this weekend.  We love You, Lord.  Bless us, and help us to be kind, and loving, to everyone.  Because no matter what we do, You love us.  Celebrate Jesus.  It's all about Him.

Blessings!

Turkey day walks and festivities... and they continue on....

 I was only ten minutes late for the 'Turkey Trot' yesterday morning. I really should rename it 'Turkey Walk', I guess, cause there is a REAL Turkey Trot somewhere and lots of people go run in it.  A friend, after I posted our 11th Annual Turkey Trot photo, commented her child had run in the Turkey Trot too.. then I had to explain it was our 'own' Turkey Trot aka walk.  We only walked 2.26 miles but it was a good walk and it was clear and brisk out.  The canal we chose wasn't that far away and very nice - paved all the way.  I sure wish it was closer so that I could walk it on my own.... you know hubby won't go and he won't let me go alone... the boogie man might get me.  I shouldn't scoff, I guess; one never knows what might befell us aa any time.  I could also fall and if I was alone, and if few people do that area, I could be there for awhile.  Oh well. Not going to imagine something that can't happen cause it ain't gonna happen to cause it to happen.  Right? :-)

I turned the humidifier on last night when we went to bed and am grateful my nose isn't all dried up like it usually is.  Hence, that is why I bought them last year.  The humidifier puts water back in to the air that the heat takes away in the cooler months with the heat on.  It does make a difference, so if you wake up with your nose all dried up and all, you might consider getting a humidifier... it does help.

I'm loving having today off work.  I still have a busy day ahead of me.  Our grandson and his fiancee are coming over at 8AM for breakfast and we are going to let them open their Christmas gifts since they will not be here for Christmas this year.  I don't want to bother with shipping.  Plus I like to see their faces when they open.  Not that there is a lot, for sure.  The great-grandchildren are the ones who made out like a bandit this year.  

After they leave to get started on their day, I will need to get in the kitchen and get started with preparations for the evening meal as our friends are coming over for a Thanksgiving feast as well.  I don't plan to over fix as I did yesterday for lunch at my daughter's (we had WAY too much food!), but plan to fix enough that any who want can take some leftovers home.  Since they are single individuals, I don't expect any to take a large amount.  With a 20 pound turkey, it won't be a problem to send home meat.  I don't want to keep ANY.  I'm 'turkeyed out' and don't want any. Now if I hear from someone who was teasing they may be coming for dinner....then I will know if I need to prepare a little more than I plan to ..... just saying.

I'm going to have to dig for receipts in the next few days - we have a very tall, somewhat large, individual in our family for whom I bought a couple shirts for Christmas for.  I had bought 2XL Tall... but as I unfolded them, they seemed REALLY large.  So I talked to his wife yesterday and mentioned it to her... yeah... it's XL in Big & Tall.... 2XL in regular sizes (to get the length.  Ooops.  I'm going to have to go through my orders... since I didn't go out and buy, it's al on computer so will have to figure it out - and then go stand in line with numerous other people who made the wrong choices.  Maybe it won't be too bad just yet - it's still before Christmas.  AND, I'm not doing it today either; got too much to do!

I do NOT go much of anywhere today...the day after Thanksgiving, aka 'Black Friday'.  There is nothing I need, nor does anyone else, that can entice me to go shopping in the crowds today.  Besides, 99.9% of my shopping is done online.  Yeah, I sometimes pay a little more, but I do it all from my computer and home and it's nice.   I remember one year I went out about 3-4PM and the stores were nearly empty of people.  THAT would be the time to shop, for sure!

Philippians 4:12 (NIV):  "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

That is  verse I learned a long, long time ago that has kept me grounded over the years.  Perhaps it has also gotten me to where I am now.  There have been so many times over the years that we have been in need for specific things.  But I learned not to allow it to get the best of me.  I learned that to take those needs to God in prayer will bring about the results I could never expect to receive on my own.  Because of choices - others who affect me, and my own choices, life at times has been very hard and very difficult.  I've never tried to pretend all has been well over the years.  But God has always provided - whether through other people, or just provision, all that we have ever needed.

I often say I learned how to cook from 'scratch' many years ago because we didn't have money to buy food that was already prepared.  Go forward several years and times were so hard that going out to eat at Burger King was a treat that we all looked forward to.  And now, in our latter years, God has placed us with the realization that there is nothing we really 'need'..... because of the above verse, I have learned to be content with what we have.  I don't need a new living room suite every 3-5 years.  Yeah, the one we have is about 5 years old now, I guess, and there is a 'dip' in the seat where I always sit.... but I've learned how to fix it... just haven't done that yet.  It still looks fairly new, why get a new one?  I think it is only at Christmas the entire sofa is filled.  We really have more than we need, but it's nice to have if anyone comes over. :-)  

I'm thinking of that I guess because my little sister asked for the rest of the money I was holding for her to keep her from spending it all.  She is definitely a 'shopaholic'.  I don't know what she is going to do when all this money is gone.  But, her husband has not been kind ... and I won't go there... but she found she could buy Ashley furniture online at Amazon yesterday.... so her daughter in law helped her pick out the sofa and loveseat she wanted (curious, I may go online and see what she paid for it - wonder if it is cheaper there than at the store on sale)..... and she got the 'last' love seat!  Whoo hoo!  She's happy; she now has no money to fall back on... but she's happy.  Just a side note, our little brother had sent us both a little money from our sister's insurance - which he and his wife got... I'm not complaining as I didn't expect any.  Grateful he shared some with us.  And no, other than what I used to pay for our airline tickets to go back there for the funeral and to help clean the apartment, I never told hubby how much I got.  He can be like my little sister; if there is 'extra', let's spend it.  I'm content to keep it saved, unless there is something that is NEEDED.  I like having a cushion to fall in to - never have had one before, and I've done without to build up a small savings account.  I like going to the grocery store and buying whatever I want to buy, without counting the prices as I go through the store.  Ever done that?  I've done that plenty of times, and then deciding what I should take back.  It's nice to get what I want without counting prices.

Sometimes I think God allows us to go through tough times so that we will know what it is like to be in need.  And, in knowing that, we can have compassion on those going through those same things.  But the greatest part of having, and not being in need, is knowing that we are content.  I think I can say that is where I am right now.  Content.

I looked up the word Content in the dictionary.  It is actually an adjective.  Hadn't really thought of that.  Well, the way I'm thinking of the word is an adjective.   I am content.  And another word to use is satisfied.  I am satisfied with what I have.  Just some tidbits based on the scripture.

I am content; I am satisfied.  Can you say that about your life?

Perhaps that is weighing on me right now.  I'm missing my big sister.  I miss our weekly chats.  Her life was saved once, why didn't God save her this time?  Will we ever learn the truth of what happened?  The family still thinks the son did it... but his mental state will not believe he did.  It is just not something she would do, and that is what is so hard to accept.  Antifreeze kills; even just a teaspoon of it.  The pain would be hard to endure... but the more I've learned, is that she went into a coma shortly after arriving at the hospital.  She never knew what killed her.  

But the reason it is on my mind this morning is the question, 'where was she in her walk with Jesus?'   If we asked her, she would say she was a Christian, that she loved Jesus, she was gong to heaven.   But the painful part to me is that when the plug was going to be pulled at the hospital, and the chaplain came in and suggested to my little brother and sister that they remember the good memories as they 'let her go'..... my little brother said, "there aren't any good memories; she was evil".  And my little sister just commented, "well, she was very giving."   Those words torment me, and break my heart.  How can one be declared evil if they say they love Jesus and are a Christian?  

My heart is missing my family that are not longer here this morning.  And those words torment me.  Will I see any of my family in Heaven (as I intend to get there!)?  Oh the thoughts that are going through my heart and mind this morning.  I need my mama today.  I need to hear her say once again, "this too shall pass".  

Having a new home or new furniture may bring temporary joy and satisfaction, but that never lasts.  The home will wear down, the new furniture will wear out.  But what will last is a relationship with Jesus Christ.  I choose Jesus.

I am content, because I have all I need, in Jesus.

Blessings!

Celebrating our Country....

 The shape our country is in now, at this period of time, is horrible.  I'll just put that out there.  No sugar-coating it.  It's a mess.  The generations coming up are destroying our world with their fanantical ideas of 'gimme, gimme gimme'.  We, as parents, have failed to bring them up in the admonition of the Lord.  We allowed/created our children to rebel against our Creator, and they are taking a stand that isn't godly.  They no longer seek the God whom we were taught to love, honor, and exalt.  

Hubby and I were having this discussion last night.  And I accepted the blame for both of us.  Yes, we 'made' our children go to church as long as they lived at home.  That's the way I was raised.  But, that is where we failed in so many respects.  We demanded their attendance, but we didn't live it at home.  We didn't show our children how to love Jesus and obey Him.  Oh, all three accepted Jesus in their teenage years and were baptised, but our example did not show them how they were to live after that.  Hubby and I were both learning ourselves on how to follow Christ.  I think it was/is easier for me in that I was used to someone being in control over me, not me controlling everything.  Hubby still liked/likes to be in control.  I fell in love with Jesus many years ago, and chose to give my life to Him.  I surrender daily because I am such a mess at times.  Jesus is the only one who can save me from my wretchedness and pain.

But, what brought this conversation up... and I'll get to it as to our discussion.... a granddaughter is not joining at our daughter's today because "they don't want to celebrate a country that is in such a mess".  (delete, delete)  Oh, a friend gave me a book Saturday morning to read.  I know the author and she is also co-founder of Bridgebuilders, based on prayer.  The title of the book is "Reclaim a Generation".  21 days of prayer for schools.  We definitely need to be praying for this generation coming up that they will turn back to God and will seek His face in all their things.  Our country was founded on God... it's the people who have turned away and made this country the way it is.  Only God can save it; and it requires every one of us to be on our faces before Almighty God and plead with Him for mercy and grace for this nation. 

I have so much anguish in my heart today and it is a combination of so many things.  I miss my big sister.  She has left a void in my heart, just as my two brothers did.  I miss my mom who would always tell me 'this too shall pass' or 'pray for her, she needs your prayers'.   I miss my little sister to whom I am still not reconciled with.  Her latest email didn't necessarily put the blame on me, but was angry with herself for leaving our little brother alone in the room  with our sister during her final minutes of life.  She said that she felt pin pricks on her body as the end was coming... and she felt she had to leave.  Interestingly, what that made me think of... the pin pricks on her body... remember the scene in Ghost in which the demons came to claim the soul of one who died?  That's what it reminds me of.  Did our sister go to hell?  I don't know.  Based on our brother's comment that he couldn't think of anything good that she did, that she was evil, to the chaplain who had come into the room and told them to think of a happy memory with her.... was she really that evil?  She had told us that she was going to heaven... but.... 

Another subject.... I finished a book last night called 'Rooted' by Brandon... I forget his last name.  It was an interesting, deep, book on where we are rooted.  How deep does our loving Jesus and surrendering to Him go?  It really made me do some soul-searching and realize I need to make some changes in my life.  I love Jesus, you know that.  I try to do everything I should do... but sometimes, I slack off.  I don't respond as Jesus would.  I avoid my neighbor because I just don't feel like listening to her.  (If I'm sitting outside and hear her come out, I'll run back into my house!)  She's very opinionated and although I do go over occasionally and visit, it probably isn't often enough.  Thankfully she has a caregiver who comes M-F and stays all day with her so she isn't alone all the time.  I probably ought to put dates on my calendar so that I will go visit her more often.  But the book... Rooted... it was good and I handed it off to hubby for him to read when he finishes the one I am waiting on to read.  We don't read that often and my eyes were burning after reading several hours yesterday.  But I finished the book!  And it gave me a lot to think about.  Things I need to change in my life.

Talk about how scattered ao nd distracted my mind has been lately... I went to Fry's last night to pick up a watermelon for today as my 'food take' is fruit.  I looked all over the produce section and could not find any large watermelon.  All I could find was the personal size.  They were 79 cents each, so I went ahead and got three of them.  It is only 4 of us today.  Don't need a lot.  Then, after I paid for all the other things I ended up picking up as well, as I was leaving the store... the two large boxes of watermelon were sitting just inside the door.  Sigh.  I did not grab one and go back and pay for it.  We'll make do with what I bought.  And if they aren't ripe enough yet, we'll have the strawberries I bought as well.

Church message was great yesterday- it was about our freedom.  We have freedom in Christ.  We have freedom to do (pretty much) whatever we want to do.  Freedom.  All this from a huge black preacher man who loves Jesus and preached Freedom.  

Psalm 33:12 (NKJV):  "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people He has chosen as His own inheritance."

John 8:36 (NKJV):  "Therefore, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed."

It is of no matter who I 'report to'; it doesn't matter I have laws I need to follow and obey.  When I accepted Jesus as Lord of my life, I became FREE.

and Free I shall remain.  Why?  How?  Because I am His.  And I follow His laws.  Only His Words guide me, and direct my path.  "Love one another".  "Do good to each other".  "Serve one another in love".  "Lay down your life for your friends". 

Joshua 24:15 (NKJV):  "And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell.  But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.  I pray that is your response as well.

Blessings!