It's gonna be a good day!

 No, nothing is planned (other than work), and I have nothing on the agenda.  As I was bringing up this space that song popped into my mind.  "It's gonna be a good day, in every single way.  The sun is shining down on me and..."   ...... I don't remember the rest.  So IS it going to be a 'good day'?  It will be if I believe it and make it so, right?  Suck it up, buttercup!  It's going to be a good day!  LOL

Yesterday was fun meeting with the other admins - it ended up being only 4 of us 'girls' and of course our conversation was all over the place.  Partly because one, who is the president's executive assistant, well, it's a lot of 'all about her'.  She's young, single, beautiful... and very knowledgeable, don't get me wrong.  I love her to pieces.  But she brings her computer and flips through screens showing us 'how' to do things and what she wants to do with that knowledge, how she's pushing for a supervisor position and who she wants brought under her, etc.  Luckily, I have not been mentioned as going under her.  She would drive me crazy.  I love her, but do not want to work under her.  I am perfectly fine under my boss.  It could very well hurry a retirement, if I was.  Just saying.  Definitely would not get the raises I get now under her.  She doesn't know me that well.  But it was a good lunch and after 2 hours I told them I had to get back to work so we broke up.  She even sent her boss an email to ask if she could expense the lunch for all of us.  He didn't respond in time so we all paid for our own.  He did respond later and she sent us a text that at our next meeting our lunch will be expensed.  Whatever.  

I read an interesting post this morning before getting to this and it has given me pause.  It asked if we prayed before making purchases.  Of course it was talking mainly about major purchases, i.e., a car, a home, furniture, etc.  But it made me pause and give thought to it.  Do I pray about every large purchase?  Yes, I think I do.  I prayed about purchasing my car; I prayed about us purchasing this house... but you know what... I prayed, then did what I wanted.  Does that make sense?  Here is what I mean.  Sometimes we pray, then we get up and do what we want.  You know you do it too.

"Lord, if we are to buy this car, make it happen. If not, stop everything."  Then we proceed and even with hiccups at times in the contract signing, we get it anyway. (No, that did NOT happen to me with my car).  What I am getting at is that we often will pray about something, then we don't wait to see what the answer is but go ahead and push through our own wants and agenda.  Does that make sense?

It reminds me of a sermon I heard a long, long time ago by Dr. Charles Stanley.  I believe the title was 'Waiting on God'.  In it he talks about this very thing.  He shared a story of a family in need of a car.  They didn't have money to buy a car outright, and really didn't want to put a car on credit.  They prayed about it - and then a week or so later, found a car they liked, and went into deep debt by buying it and putting it on credit.  A couple weeks after that, someone they knew was getting rid of a nice car and was going to offer it to this couple free and clear - only to find they had already purchased a car and met their need there.  If they had waited a few more weeks, and continued to pray about it, I'm sure - they would have received a nicer car than they had purchased and would have had no debt.  (I am sure they were kicking themselves for that purchase!)

But isn't that what we do?  We see something we want, we may - or may not - pray about it, and then go buy it.  Now I'm talking about major purchases.  But the thought has occurred to me about my treadmill I just purchased.  It wasn't that much; probably 1/4 or less the cost of the type I had before, and it's much smaller.  But I don't recall praying about whether or not I should purchase it.  I wanted it.  I debated on it in my mind for a couple weeks, but I don't recall praying if I should get it or not.  All I could think of was that I really love walking and I can't get out in this heat; I don't have a lot of time to go walking; hubby is terrified I'll be kidnapped if I go walking by myself... and I could walk on this treadmill anywhere as it is only 40 pounds and I can pick it up and move it to in here, in the 'exercise room', in front of the TV, anywhere I want it.  No, I didn't buy it on credit, but I also didn't take lightly the money I did spend on it.  

John 16:24 (NKJV):  Until now you have asked nothing in My name.  Ask, and receive, that your joy may be full.

So many times, we don't have things because we don't ask God for it.  We may WANT things to happen, i.e., healing for someone, extra money for a special event - but we don't ask for it.  It's like wanting a bike for Christmas and not telling your parents you'd like to have one!  Of course, God knows everything about us and knows our wants and dreams and wishes.  But we need to ask Him for them.  Want a happy marriage?  Pray not that God would change your spouse..... pray that God will change YOU to be the person you should be.  Ouch.  Yeah, I have to pray that prayer - and do - a lot!  And frequently.  We want people to change.  Pray for them, but don't pray that they will change according to your wishes but pray that they will change according to what God wants for them.  Bless them, don't curse them.  Encourage them, don't deflate them.  

This morning as I was writing out some of my prayers, I thought about what I was writing.  I found myself writing about someone who is an irritant.  I'll leave it there, but I was praying for this person, not that they would change into what I want them to be, but that their eyes would be open to what they have become and that they would seek God with a sincere heart and seek His wisdom and guidance on how to live life.  It makes me sad that I can't be friends with them for fear of retaliation and social media comments.  Hurting people hurt people.  Will God answer my prayer for this person?  I pray He will, but it is in His timing - not mine.  In the meantime, I am to be kind.

I wonder how many people stay away from me because of something I have said or done.  Ever wonder that about yourself?  I never have, until this moment.  I don't think I'm a bad person. I don't spread rumors or broadcast on social media all my hurt feelings and accuse people of things that are not true. I don't make life about me.  I'm pretty much content staying in my own little world and doing my own little thing.  I don't look at life and at occasions as 'what's in it for me' - but how can I bless someone today.  Make sense?

I guess I need to stop rambling and start working on the message for Sunday.  Yeah, I'm at the facility Sunday afternoon.  In November starts our RV park speaking and I will be really busy then!  I will be doing a lot more praying for those times!  I just want to share Jesus with them and tell them that for one thing, it is not too late to follow Jesus.  No matter what we've done in the past, if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  And two, we are at the end of our lives... or close to it... and if we haven't reconciled with Jesus by now, we need to do it now.  We never know when we will be taken from this world.  Besides making sure our families will be taken care of, we need to be sure that WE are taken care of - in that we will be with Jesus when we are taken.  Are you ready?

Blessings! 

Getting back in to routine mode

 Well, hubby didn't go to church yesterday, other than dropping off the school supplies that I had purchased for us to donate for teachers.  When questioned, he said he had a headache and his stomach felt queasy.  He didn't remember how to get to our granddaughters so I ended up at the daughter's house for him to come pick me up.  He missed my text so I ended up having to call him.  He wanted to stop and grab lunch somewhere, but I said no, for us to go on home (I really wasn't hungry; we had McDonald's around 10AM and it was only 1PM).  "Fine, I'll fix something at home." he responded.  (he didn't).  Reaching home, and unpacking the car, he had the baseball game on.  I started unpacking some things and opening some Amazon packages that came while I was gone.  He had to stand and watch, of course.  Then back to the ballgame, then he switched it over to NCIS.  Around 4PM he says if I'll decide where to go, he will buy dinner, as he was getting hungry.  I got up and threw some meat in a bowl of cold water to defrost.  I didn't really feel like going out - and if we did, I'd want fast food just to get it done - and I know we'd fight about it.  He loves sit-down dinners.  About 5PM he mentioned food again so I went into the kitchen and put the meat in the air fryer and started heating up veggies.  He hung around in the kitchen, trying to see what I was fixing, but didn't ask.  LOL  When I went into the other room, I heard the air fryer beep from where he opened it up to see what I was fixing.  Then he sat back down; I guess it met his approval.  We ate and then it was 'want to watch a movie or read?' question I always get.  I told him I don't care - whatever he wants.  So it was a movie.  After that one, it was 7:30PM and he was asking again if I wanted to watch another movie.  "No" was my answer.  Turn the TV off.  So we had silence as we went through our phones for the last hour or so before heading to bed.  A usual dull evening at our place.  I really wanted to read, but I was so sleepy I knew I couldn't get in to the book so didn't bother.

No training at the gym for me tonight; my trainer took a weekend trip and has moved my training to Wednesday and Thursday this week.  After working core last Wednesday I really expected my 'core' to be really hurting this weekend - but it did not.  Not that I want my body to hurt, but it just seems that lately I'm not getting as sore as I did in the beginning.  Muscle recall and I'm not hurting?  I don't know.

With the systems crashing last Friday around the world, including my company, with Microsoft all screwy, I don't know what I'll be facing this morning. Last I checked on my phone I had 203 emails, but only a few are mine to work on.  I notice my male boss has a couple difficult tasks for me to do - one he even IM'd me so that I'd be sure to get it.  Skimming his message - no, I don't want to do it. But, alas, I have no choice. It's 'suck it up, buttercup'!  

I also need to start focusing on a message and songs for the independent nursing facility that I have been asked to speak at the first Sunday in August.  At least I have messages that I've done at the RV parks I can use, but I need to shorten them a little bit.  Not as much as I did the first time - lol - we were done with the entire service in 40 minutes!  (Maybe that is why they wanted me to come back?)  I need to find songs as well for we will do those acapella because I don't have a sound bar; and I don't have songs downloaded on my phone.  Nor do I plan to.  I just look for songs I think they know, and then type out the verses we are to sing.  It worked last time and many participated.  I should have pursued learning how to use the guitar I had.  I even have a keyboard now, but I don't know how to play it other than right hand on a couple songs.  Maybe I should take piano/keyboard lessons instead. 

Learning new things shouldn't weigh me down.  But it does.  There are so many things that I want to do - but before I sign up, or before I do them, I talk myself out of it.  I think it is depression that tells me to just go sit and not do anything, for what if I get started and someone nags at me about not being available .... I guess I've gone through too much of this in the past that I just shut down.  There are many courses that I can take for free at some Christian colleges, and I did start one time, but I always retreat and don't complete.  Then I beat myself up. Tell myself I don't have time.  And yet, I think back twenty years ago when I was teaching two classes and was so active in church and learning new things all the time.  It's like my life has shut down, especially since I have been working from home since 2019 - or was it 2020?  I don't remember.  Working from home has it advantages, believe me, but I miss the social interaction.  I also feel that if I could be face to face with my bosses, then I could understand more of what they (he) wants and be able to complete my tasks much easier.  Words over a computer just doesn't do it.  My mind has grown dull and I have as well.  Will I ever come to life again?

I can't remember what it felt like to feel 'alive'.  I used to claim small mountains!  I used to run; to walk long distances.  I see about these 80-100+ old women who are weight lifting heavy weights; they are running marathons, and my heart longs to live and be alive again.  You may not understand what I am feeling, but I never imagined my life to be as dull and unproductive as it is.  

But, I got to quit wallowing and get my head on straight for I know it is 'timecard Monday' and my favorite boss is on PTO today - I sent her a note before I left asking if I needed to approve her people's timecards.  I need to see if she answered me.  I usually go ahead and work on days I approve timecards, but I could easily take the day off and jump on long enough to approve and then sign back off.  I should do that instead of working around the timecards.  Especially if I am staying home.

I love what I read in The Passion Translation this morning.

Psalm 5:1-3 (TPT):  Listen, Yahweh, to my passionate prayer! Can't you hear my groaning? Don't you hear how I'm crying out to you? My King and my God, consider my every word, for I am calling out to you. At each and every sunrise you will hear my voice as I prepare my sacrifice of prayer to you. Every morning I lay out the pieces of my life on the altar and wait for your file to fall upon my heart.

And that is what we are to do.  Come to Him and lay out the pieces of our heart, and then wait for Him to share with us what we are to do.  So many times I seem to think that my way is better, for to wait for something is at times too much to ask. Ever have that happen to you?  You want your answer NOW, and if you don't get it NOW, you think that you know the best way to go?  Sometimes the best answer is to just WAIT and allow God to do His work in us as He prepares us for the answer.  

Every time I have received what I felt was a closed door, I told myself that I was in a waiting period, and that I needed to study and learn and use that 'waiting' time to gather useful information for my heart's desire to teach others about Jesus.  But circumstances happen.  I have lost my waiting years and now I am the one who is lost.  Oh that I might hear what Yahweh says to me in this time of my life! That my ears will be open to His voice; that I will pause my life long enough to take the time to truly wait upon Him.  Oh how I wish I could shut myself up in my room for days at a time, and just sit and wait upon Him! 

When was the last time that you took time to sit and wait upon Yahweh?  He is our only King and our only God.  He deserves all the honor, all the praise, all the glory.  All that we have is not by our hands; it is by His.  Remember what Job said?  I came into this world naked, and I will leave naked... blessed is the name of the Lord. (Paraphrased, of course).  

I have a few minutes before I need to get on the work computer so I think I will lay out my requests to my King and my Yahweh this morning and wait.  Yeah, have to keep an eye on the clock, but I can still wait.  What about you?

How about stopping your scrolling through your computer and just sit and tell God what is going on in your life and ask Him what does He want you to do?  

Blessings!

Just the little things that matter....

 It's been a very busy week for work, and today doesn't seem to be lightening up any.  There is a meeting at my old office but I do not have to drive down for it.  But I did have to order food.  They wanted me to order pizzas and salads.  And there were a lot of other things to pick up - and that manager's intent was for ME to pick it all up at Costco for them.  I really don't think they want me to pick it up here and drive it to them.  What happened to the times that managers would take care of their own team?  Well, I ended up ordering pizzas and salads the other day from a local company... and I about hyperventilated when he told me the bill was over $500 for 8 pizzas and 5 large size salads.  So what did he do?  He knocked $150 off the bill.  Now, how can one drop a bill that much?  That blows my mind.  But I took it - and paid it with my boss' card.  My boss picked up the desserts and sodas, etc. that was needed.  She is going to the meeting so will get it there.  Now to pray the pizzas and salads will be enough for all the people.  And delivered on time.

I still need to order sandwiches for a meeting on Monday (and I'm not invited!) and I got word I will need to order pizzas again for another department for next week.  I'm waiting on their credit cards to pay for it.  It's really hard to just 'hope' things will work out fine when ordering and requesting delivery at a certain time.

I actually checked on having a delivery done last night for us - and opted out of it when I totaled the bill and realized that just for a half salad and a sandwich for two people was nearly $40.  I don't think so.  Arby's is just down the street and is a lot cheaper.  And who needs salads?  French Fries are a vegetable, right? 

But, I didn't do that either.  I had bought a package of 'Pasta e fagioli' soup like what Olive Garden has - and I always get there - and decided to make it.  Overall, it wasn't bad!   Don't know if I would buy the package again.... but I might.   We did eat it for dinner last night (but it just wasn't the same without the garlic breadsticks) and it might taste better when we eat leftovers today.  I mean, it was good... it just wasn't as good as I wanted it to be.  I think it had too much olive oil in the beginning, although I couldn't taste it when we ate later.  It was decent.  Was done in about 2-3 hours.  We didn't have to go out in the rain.  I didn't pay out for delivery.  Oh yeah, I fixed breaded chicken for unwich sandwiches too.  One bowl each was enough to fill us up.

I do have something to look forward to for today.  We are taking one of our grandsons out to dinner.  I cracked up when he text'd earlier and said he had decided on Denny's.  I know he and his older brother like breakfast as that is where we have ended up before.  And that's ok - in the past we always took him to Chili's so expected that - but nope - it is Denny's.  We will pick him up around 5-ish and will enjoy our evening with him.  Hoping I an get his two older brothers out for a meal around their birthdays too, if not before.  

I got a little snarky yesterday.  I know, that's hard to believe, isn't it?  But I did.  Just as I was getting ready to shut down yesterday I get an email from one of the directors that one of their employees is having cataract surgery in April and I need to line up someone for her for two weeks after the surgery to read her work to her.  Excuse me?  She's already taking two days off for the surgery (twice, for each eye).  I'm sitting there reading this and I responded.... snarkily I guess.... "Wow.  I'm having cataract surgery on 3/16 and my surgeon said I could go back to work the next day."   I saw later that this director responded that this employee was nearly blind and wouldn't be able to pop out the lens in her glasses of the eye that had the surgery so she could see well enough to work.   I'm still somewhat irritated by the 'ask'.  For one thing, the employee should be finding out this information - why am I being asked to find it out?  I mean, I would find out the information for myself.  This person has over 200 hours PTO time - why not just take the time off work?  Hello?  She works from home - how is she going to have someone read her work to her?  Who is going to pay for it?  And if her eyes are that bad NOW, and they are removing the cataracts, it doesn't mean her eyes are going to be 100%... (my doctor told me I'd still need my glasses - and that's ok.  I just want to see better when I'm reading without the magnifying glass!) - how can she drive and work now?  UGH.  Am I grumbling?  Perhaps.  This is something the employee needs to figure out before her surgery.  But I will send the email on to HR and to benefits and ask them.  I'm not going to respond to that director after her 'explanation' but will just do what I was asked to do.  She also gave an example of their former admin who had said she couldn't see for two weeks after her surgery.  I better hush for I don't know how I will be after my surgery!  I'm praying I get through it just fine and the surgeon seems to think I will be fine as well.  I don't remember hubby having any issues.  

I have my 'ARC' review with my boss this morning.  This is like a 'merit' review - working from home one would think we would always have 'meets expectations' - that's what I would put.  But, at least for the past 3 years of working from home (March 13 marks my 3 year anniversary of working from home - thanks, COVID) she has taken my own evaluation of meets expectations and changes it to 'exceeds expectations' and of course that results in a higher raise when they come out in a couple months.  We got notice yesterday in our 'Buzz' newsletter that they are raising the merits to 3.5% if one has exceeds expectations or above.  Of course raises can throw you in another tax bracket too and causes more taxes to be taken out.... catch 22, perhaps.  Personally, I think it depends on what we do - I feel that a lot of what I do is what is expected and required - and of course I do the best I can - so that would be meets expectations.  I'm always grateful she looks at the extra things I do and marks it exceeds.  The little blessings can sometimes mean a lot.

Job 23:10-11 (NKJV):  "But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. My foot has held fast to His steps; I have kept His way and not turned aside."

Oh I hope that will be true of me when I finally leave this earth!  How can one have the faith and resilience of Job?  Would he have it if he lived nowadays?  I often wonder if I would be able to get through some trials.  Many days I think I will fail; and yet, my faith in God is strong and I believe He can easily take me through any fire and set my feet on solid ground.  Do you have that kind of faith?  Do you believe that no matter what, when you have been tested and gone through the fire, will you come forth as gold?  Will you hold fast to Him who created you?  Will you keep His ways and not turn aside?  Do you ever even think about it?

I know without a doubt that God has gotten me through some pretty rough times.  He has walked through journeys with me that I will never share here or with anyone.  He has seen every tear, He knows each time my heart was broke.  And through it all, He brings joy.  Unspeakable joy.  Why?  Because my joy does not come from people or from material things.  My joy comes only from the Lord.  Only His joy lasts.  People hurt you; material things fade or break.  But His love never changes for me - or for you.  He is our everlasting Joy.  Our only Hope.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, for He alone is the Author of your life.  He created you.  He allows you to make your own decisions, even when they are contrary to what is right.  Many times all we have to do is 'wait' and things work themselves out.  It's the 'waiting' that we want to resist.  We want everything now.  We aren't willing to 'wait'.  Stop and think about it.... if you had waited... for anything... would you have made a different choice?

Blessings!

It was earlier than I wanted this morning.

 I awoke around 3AM and told myself "Nope!  Go back to sleep!"  And I did, until around 4-ish when hubby reached over and touched my shoulder and shook it, making me instantly awake.  I reluctantly looked at the clock and resisted the urge to tell him it's only 4AM, it's Sunday, leave me alone!  But instead, I got up and made my way into this room.  I always love spending my time with Jesus every morning, and even though I had planned a little later because of it being Sunday, it's ok.  Hubby also got up and started making the coffee.  When he brought my coffee he asked me, "Did you hear something crashed just before you work up?"  Uh, no, I woke up because you touched my shoulder and shook me.  He said he walked through the house and couldn't find anything amiss.  I'll do a walk-through next door this afternoon to make sure that after the storm we had yesterday there are no leaks or anything wrong there.

Well, I didn't get the boxes done yesterday.  I thought about it.  I even went out in the garage and looked at them.  But I didn't do anything with them.  I DID get the freezer cleaned out and defrosted some (didn't get all the ice out) and the food put back in.  I like have the similar foods on the same shelf so I know about what I have and what is needed.  At least I could mark one thing off my want to do list.  I had wanted to pull my car out of the garage and work on the boxes (more room) but with the storms, didn't want to.  Before the first storm hit, I did go across the street to visit my neighbor and sat with her through the first storm.  

Today is Sunday and we'll be getting ready for church soon.  I wonder what our pastor will preach on today.  Last Sunday it was on Serving.  Hubby and I discussed the message again last night - where did we think we could serve in our church.  For now, all I could think of was greeting.  We did that at the last two churches we attended as well.  It's a great way to meet people and get facial recognition if not also their names.  Not every Sunday, of course, and with our upcoming hit and miss schedule of attending church, that would be about the only thing.  I'd love to teach Discipleship - the one that taught me - and I will mention it to the pastor when we meet them next Saturday for lunch.  But, I don't want to do it on a Sunday.  I would consider taking the Monday night we go to Bible study and create a study group here in our home, but then we wouldn't be with the friends we have made in the current class.  Not sure if I want to give up another evening.  And hubby and I discussed it; neither of us want to give up our Tuesday evenings.  Guess I'll do the best thing I can - pray about it and see what God wants us / me to do.  He may want us to wait for something else; or He may want us to just help wherever help is needed.  

Ephesians 2:10 (NKJV):  "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before hand that we should walk in them."

Wherever and whatever God leads us to accomplish, we will do.  Only then will it be successful.  It's not about us... it is about God using us for His glory alone.  Perhaps, since it is time for us to start doing the preaching at the RV parks we are to sit back another season.  Will see what God has planned!  He has prepared something for us to do.... we just have to wait on His timing, and not ours.

One thing I have learned over the years is that I do not always get what I ask God for.  I may not always see His hand is what I do get.  He removes people and things from my life at times, and I may wonder why.  And He brings new people in to my life (and again, I may wonder why!).  

For example, remember my talking about a new friend I met in Bible study and she and I had lunch, we got along great, we enjoyed each other's company?  Well, I am a bit confused right now and I just have to trust God for whatever comes of it.  She had written me an email (we had been emailing every few days and talking about different things) and had commented about her relationship with God.... she had had a difficult relationship with her father and how that affected her relationship with God, as it often does.....  well, I skimmed the email, nothing came to me to respond  and I really didn't feel what she said in that paragraph needed a response.....  so when a couple weeks later I had a chance to email her, I did.  Her response was that I had let her down by NOT responding; she felt she had opened her heart to me and I ignored her.  She ended with basically 'the holidays are coming and families will get together and I don't have one so will talk to you after the holidays because I know you are busy.'  Okay..... I emailed her right back, of course, and apologized about not immediately responding... got no response.  A few days later I again sent an email and apologized and tried to make arrangements to meet up for lunch one day... and have not heard from her.

I thought we had become good friends.  I can understand she may have felt hurt that she 'opened herself up to me' and I didn't respond right away.  When I reread her email, that I had not responded to, I really didn't see anything for me TO respond to.  I'm sorry I hurt her feelings, yes, but if she is going to hold it against me I didn't respond to an email, I need to step back.  God will work in this situation and if we are to be 'close' friends, then God will make it happen.  I like this person and I enjoy our talks.  She does make me squirm sometimes because her questions are so deep.  But, she has chosen to back away and I will not force friendship upon anyone.  I will keep in touch by an occasional email, whether or not she responds... and after a few of no response, I will leave her alone.  I understand she is busy too - going back for her PhD (and her 3rd master's degree!) and working a new job.  Even being single, it is busy stuff!  I'm lazy/busy at times too. :-)   Sometimes one just needs to step back and let God handle things.

And so that is what I'm doing with this friendship.  Some friendships last; some do not.  Some are silver, some are gold. :-)  Choose friends wisely and let God help them grow.

Blessings!

Grateful for Saturday....

 Genesis 2:1-3 (NKJV):  "Thus the heavens and the earth, and all the host of them, were finished.  And on the seventh day God ended his work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work that He had done.  Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made."

In the Old Testament, the seventh day, or the Sabbath as they called it, was Saturday.  When Jesus rose on the third day after His crucifixion, it was Sunday, and that became our new Sabbath, our first day of the week.  Many people long for Saturdays to catch up on the things they didn't get done during the week.  But, in Biblical times, especially in the Old Testament, Saturdays were to be Holy days, they were not even to walk any long distances.  I don't remember exactly how far, but it seems like they couldn't walk more than two miles on a Saturday.  Can you imagine people with Fitbits back then watching every step so that they wouldn't walk further than two miles on that Sabbath day?  They weren't to work - and if they did, they could be stoned for breaking God's Word to rest!  Remember how angry the Jewish leaders got at Jesus when He healed on the Sabbath!  Oh my!

I do try to catch up on things on Saturdays that I didn't get completed during the week.  Mainly because of work, but also because after working, I'm tired.  Of course there isn't much that I do outside of work; my life is really kind of dull right now.  Other than this personal study and my own personal Bible reading, I'm not involved - and our preaching is not happening again until November.  I do need to get a message or two completed before then instead of waiting until a couple weeks before to start.  Of course I say that every year as well.  

But Sundays, I do try to leave those open for 'rest'.  For worshipping the Lord.  For being with family and/or friends.  For doing things I enjoy.  Hubby has said a few times something about doing laundry on a Sunday and I refuse to let him.  He's home all week; there is no reason it needs to be done on a Sunday.  If he can't get it done on his own during the week (because he doesn't feel like doing it), then I need to be given back the task and I will get it accomplished.  He only does laundry like every 10-12 days so it isn't like it's a major project.  He just makes it one.  There are only two of us. Sigh.    Of course, my cooking meals for us is not working. :-)

Today, Saturday, I will begin to put things in my suitcase for Jailbreak on Tuesday.  Not that I need to, but just things I want to be sure not to forget.  Like my hiking boots and my hat, just in case we get some hiking in.  After all, our airbnb is backed up to the forest so perhaps there are trails we can walk.  I want to get my first week finished in my study.  I started it yesterday for day 5, but I want to write out the scriptures and with work time, I had to stop and didn't get it finished.  I want to be able to reflect on the scriptures and not just read them.  How did you do with the questions yesterday?  Just curious.   I'm sure hubby will suggest we go to breakfast after we come out of our study, but I think I will put him off until mid-afternoon and do an early dinner at Olive Garden.  I still have a gift card we can use.  Which means I'll have to cook breakfast, more than likely, but I can fix scrambled eggs, toast, and oatmeal and that is a good and healthy meal to start the day with.  Especially cause I put nuts in the oatmeal, and honey to sweeten it with.  Hubby likes his raisins, but I like the sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, and walnuts.  

I was to go to Wickenburg and Tempe with my Needles of Hope group this morning, but I cancelled out the other day.  And I am still glad I did.  It would have been fun to go, for sure, but I am still coughing some and still am not 100%.  I don't really feel like listening to women chatter and I'm sure the car will be full!  Ever have one of those days where you really just prefer quiet versus chatter of people?  Besides, I love my time alone with God in the mornings and don't like to shorten it.  One good thing about our Jailbreak trip is that we rented the airbnb with 3 bedrooms so we each have our own room.  Which means I can get up early as usual and do my quiet time before the others get moving about.  I simply must have my time with Jesus each morning, or my day isn't complete.  When we go to Indiana it is usually harder as we are guests of family and our early time of 4AM is usually 7AM their time so they are up.  I just can't make myself get up any earlier.... so have to switch to evening, and then it throws me off and sometimes I forget until already in bed!  But God still loves me and understands. 

Oh - the June 3 issue on the meeting I worked on and stressed over last week?  Imagine my frustration yesterday morning when I brought up the President's calendar and clicked on the 6 hour meeting that kept us from doing this meeting on May 20th.... and found his executive assistant had dragged an EMAIL into the 6 hour time slot..... and that the actual meeting it was about had been scheduled on May 13th!  Which means, his calendar IS open.  Now that was at 8:30AM yesterday.  I immediately sent an email to EA to please double check that calendar (this is the third time I have asked her to confirm he could not do May 20th).... and as of 5PM last night, she had not responded to my request.  I shared that info with my boss.... so once I get the confirmation we can use May 20th, I will have to send an apologetic letter to everyone and tell them 'sorry for the inconvenience, but conflicts have been removed and we can use the May 20th date that everyone had already blocked their calendar for - and I hope it was still available'.  This is one of the reasons I go crazy some days.  I can't do anything until his EA removes the block and confirms we can have May 20th.  Her boss is critical for the meeting.  UGH.

Romans 8:28 (NKJV)  "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose."

This scripture just came to mind as I was relating the story of this meeting.  You want to know how God has already brought good from this issue?  As I shared earlier in this blog, hubby had stopped by my door as I was dealing with my frustration and I commented about retirement.  For the first time ever, hubby actually LISTENED to me and my comments about retirement.  He asked if I thought we could really manage on two social security checks.  It will affect me more than it will him - he lets me keep my check currently as he doesn't need it to pay bills.  I buy groceries, all gifts, my own medical expenses, my own car expenses and I save as well.   If I don't have a check coming in, I will have to relinquish that check to him to pay the bills with.  Therefore, I have no problem with finding a part-time job so that I can have spending money.  Work a few days a week and play the others.  Yeah, I could do that.  But what I am saying is that perhaps this issue needed to happen so that hubby would listen to me, and will seriously think about letting me quit working.  I may still wait until 2025... but it needs to be my choice, and not because I am forcing the issue.  Yes, with my check we can do a lot of things now we never have been able to do before because we dropped our expenses when we sold our other house.  And it will be a drastic change for both of us.  But I'm willing to make it work.  I just need to wait for God's timing, and not mine.

Sometimes we need to just take our hands off our desires and let God bring things about in His timing.  The waiting isn't always easy, but God always provides just what we need when we need it.

Blessings!

Sometimes it is good to go back....and choose Plan A

Sometimes it is good to go back to a book, or a devotional, and reread something you have probably read numerous times (as I have this one devotional).  What you go back to is something that grabbed you from the first moment you read it.  If you are reading your Bible, it could be a specific scripture that stood out to you one morning.  Or it could be something you read from your youth that came to your mind during a time of reflection now.  I know that when I was going through a 'scare' (for me) about something recently, the scripture I read then and reread and said numerous times was Jeremiah 17:14.

I'm rereading one of the devotionals I received back in 2002.  I can't tell you how many times I have read through it over the years, but each time I do, I get something more out of it.  There are several 'days' in this devotional that speak to me, but this one in particular - Chapter 9 - titled 'The Secret of No Plan B' always grabs me.  It was what I read this morning, and has prompted this post.

I don't know about you, but I have been in many situations in the past that, even before I surrendered my life to Jesus, that God has intervened and rescued me.  I didn't know it then, because I didn't acknowledge Him, other than a passing fancy.  I didn't KNOW Jesus as my LORD.  I only knew He was 'out there' somewhere because I heard about Him at church.  Sure didn't hear about Him at home.  But He watched over me (prayers of my mother, my father (before he died), my grandparents?) and kept me from harm.  He allowed me to make my own choices, my own mistakes (and did I ever make those!), but He was with me always.

But back to No Plan B.  Wow.  How many times have we been up against something that we just had no clue what to do and began seeking out so many different ways to solve our problem, our issue?  We end up, many times, taking the easy road out instead of pursuing  God and asking Him "what shall I do in this situation?  What are You wanting me to see, and do?"  For example, sometimes it is easier to walk away (or run away) from a disagreement than it is to sit down and discuss exactly what the disagreement is about and resolve it, or even to agree to disagree.  Relationships are hard enough within a family when God isn't a part of them, but when He is, you will find that offenses taken are sometimes misplaced.  Sometimes it is easier to step away than to resolve them.   I've stepped away from some of my family members numerous times, until I could breathe around them again.  You know how many times my sister and I have had issues; two specificially that I know I have shared over the years, and both times her tongue cut me to shreds and I was so broken because it wasn't so much about ME that she lashed out, but it was about HER and her anger at life, things going on in her own world.  I had to learn that, step back, and pray for healing - of my heart and hers - so that we could become friends again.  Not always easy, and I oftentimes find myself trying to shield my heart when I begin to hear things in words spoken that I felt were going to bring up the pain again.  The anger is real; the pain is real.

And when it happens, the emotions hang there.  Are you praying about what to do?  No plan B.  If God doesn't give you an answer, or if He doesn't bring healing (in whatever form), if He doesn't bring that wayward child Home, if He doesn't intervene and bring healing and wholeness to someone..... do you give up?  Or do you continue to press in to Him and ask what He is wanting to show you, to teach you, to give you insight or direction on?  

Oftentimes when we have a sickness we go to the doctor.  That's what we have been brought up to do.  That's what we pay for with our insurance.  But what if - we just come before God and ask Him to intervene in whatever the sickness is, (and even hardness of heart is a sickness), and bring healing to that person?  What if we don't run to the aspirin bottle, but ask God to bring healing to your body?  As I sit here I am wishing I had reread this chapter first.... I woke up around 3AM with a major headache this morning.... I didn't pray about it, but tried to go back to sleep, and finally got up.  It still hurt pretty bad so to ward it off, I took a pain killer.  What if I had gone to God FIRST and asked Him to heal my head.  I know I have in the past, and He did remove the pain of my head.  Why did I go to the 'bottle' first to heal my head, instead of asking the One who created me?  Who knows so much about me?  Who loves me too much to allow something to happen to me that through it He is teaching me how to live?

I still make mistakes.  I still forget to ask God first "What do You want me to learn from this?  What do You want me to do in this situation?  Are You allowing this to turn me back to you?  Have I forgotten that YOU are God and I am not?  Will You bring healing, Lord, instead of running to the doctor?  Can I just sit with You, Lord, and let you bring healing and wholeness to my heart and mind and body?"

One thing for sure, God doesn't always answer the way we want Him to.  We pray for healing and He may say 'NO'.  Or He may even say 'Not Yet'.  People we have prayed for are healed.  People we have prayed for have died.  Does that mean that God did answer our prayer or didn't answer our prayer?  No, it just means that we put that person in His hands and allow God to be God.  A friend of ours within the past few months was put in the hospital with COVID... she died, in spite of our prayers for her.  Another friend was put in the hospital with COVID and we prayed.... and he recovered quickly and came back home.  We can't make the decision on who lives and dies, who gets healed and who doesn't.  That's God's job.  He created them.  He knows that in spite of our prayers - which generally draw us closer to Him  - He is working in each one of us.  No Plan B.

If God isn't in it, you are in Plan B mode.  It's got to be God first as Plan A.  It doesn't mean you don't seek medical attention when it is needed.  God still works through the doctors He places in our path.  But are we leaning into God and saying "If You don't bring healing through whatever means You choose, I have no other alternative.  I have no Plan B.  It's You first, Lord, working through whatever means You choose.  I am not looking for another way out; I'm not running around just guessing at answers.  You are the answer, Lord.  If you don't rescue from this situation; if You don't bring healing; if You don't restore.... I have no Plan B.  Plan A - You, Lord - are our focus."

I'm going to make more of an effort to make God my Plan A only.  Confession.... I've let life beat me up somewhat over the years and I have not always made God my Plan A - that no matter what is going on in my life, I will lean into Him.  My job is dependent upon Him and what I do within that job is in His hands.  I can succeed or fail.  He gave me this job when I needed it.  If He allows it to be removed, then He has other plans for me and I need to lean into Him to find it.  (side note: my job is secure - no worries there)  My life is dependent upon His will for me.  I ask Him ... and now I need to wait on Him.

In the Lord's Prayer (which we all know, and at some point I want to blog about it), is the statement "Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven".   Why not take a moment and just pray that prayer?  

"Lord, may Your will be done in my life today.  Whatever path You have for me, help me to be alert and take that path.  Today, Lord, I want You to show me the way I should go, for I lift up my eyes to You. In spite of everything going on around me, I choose to walk with You, Jesus. Amen."

Amen.