I don't know what played with my mind last night, but I struggled with sleep. We had a "normal" evening where we had dinner (wings and veggies) and hubby watched TV and I crochet for awhile.... and we went to bed around 8:30-ish as I have been doing due to work. I fell asleep right away and slept hard - until about 11:15PM and mother nature said she wanted to see me. I tried to ignore her, but she insisted. (polite way of saying I had to go pee).
Afterwards I come back to bed and weird dreams start. I'm not even aware I'm dreaming. But these dreams were of the really weird state. One particular dream that I still remember is hubby and I were somewhere and were to meet an old co-worker of mine from over 20 years ago. Seriously. I don't remember what pretense we were to meet him for, but I remember him carrying in this long narrow box when he did show up.
But then I'm confused and tired and I guess irritated and asked what that was about. J told me that he was selling coffee and wanted to sign us up to sell it too. I'm going "what?" After a few minutes hubby is hollering at me what is this all about. I'm trying to tell J (my friend) that I will buy coffee from him but don't want to sell it. The longer the discussion went on (and what the discussion was, I have no ideal; I just remember the disruption of my time and sleep) the more irritated I got and finally said "fine, I'll sell your coffee - sign us up and let me get out of here!" Then I woke up.
I guess actually my fitbit alarm must have gone off. Then I was so tired and exhausted I didn't want to get up so I laid there until it went off again 5 minutes later. I get up - and nearly walked into my jewelry box standing in the corner. Found my way back to the bathroom and on to the 2nd bedroom where I do my quiet time. I snuggled into my chair, wrapped my blanket about me, and tried to go back to sleep....when I hear hubby coming (so I quickly turn the light on) to bring me my coffee. It may be a two cup morning.
Work has been really busy and draining this week. I'm feeling pretty tired today and my calendar starts with a 7AM meeting with one of my 'big' bosses. The top boss, in fact. We need to review her calendar for the next two weeks and see what I need to help her prepare for.
So now I have read my Bible and my books and sit here on the computer. I want to walk Sheeba this morning but it doesn't start to get light until after 6AM. And I have to be on the computer by 7AM. It may be a short walk today. I really am so tired that I would rather just sit back and enjoy a cup of coffee out in the cool air, but I have walk challenges going on with the family and with work. I won't win either one because of my limitations on walking. Walking Sheeba is good for me, it gets me out and walking. But many times I wish I walked alone because I could walk faster and farther. But, well, lets not go there. Hubby walks alone (and Sheeba is HIS dog) and then comes back and tells me how far he got to walk. With work, I can't walk a long distance, and with Sheeba stopping to do her dumps and I have to clean it up, I'm time limited.
I'm so glad tomorrow is Saturday - and it is going to be a fun morning! Hubby will be leaving around 6AM to go to a meeting and all three of my children are coming over to go through photo albums. It's time I let go of photos. I started at one time to go through and separate the photos, but when all three are in the photo - who would want it and who would get it. This way they can choose what they want and leave what they don't. A granddaughter has already told me she would like all the photos that her dad doesn't want and she will scan and keep for them. I'll need to go through and eliminate those that are of no consequence, but I will let her have them. It will be fun to relieve some of the memories we have together. Their dad kept the majority of their photos; literally went through the photo albums and took them out when he moved me out. It is what it is and we have survived.
I'm so looking forward to tomorrow morning. I have breakfast planned out in my mind and after a quick walk with Sheeba will get started on it. Or she may not get a walk tomorrow. I've gotten lazy on the weekends and not walked her at all. During the day it is still too warm. It's morning or evening. Will see. Ya know, it seems my world is spinning about Sheeba, doesn't it! LOL
I hear hubby in his bathroom getting ready to head out for his Friday morning Bible study. He started that back up a week ago. I'm glad for it gives him something to do. He drives me crazy. He also eats out more than most people with his friends. I don't really care - as long as he doesn't go back to the Biscuit Cafe - he went there alone and had breakfast one morning - and got steak and eggs and juice, etc - and spent $30!! For breakfast! Needless to say, he won't do that again. I don't work so he can spend hard-earned money on one meal. Just saying.
One more week and my daughter and I will be taking the youngest son's daughter away for a weekend getaway. Looking forward to that. Still not sure what we will do since her interest's don't seem to be the same as ours (crochet/knit). We will find something to do together. I bought some nail stuff so we can do our nails together.
I read something this morning that was talking about low self-esteem. There really isn't such a thing, it is really pride and self-centeredness. Figure that one out. We may think of ourselves as having not much confidence, but in that thought, it's all about us. Our pride in ourselves. Our self-centeredness. God's Word says that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us. It also says in Him we live and move and breathe.
So when we feel depressed, or have low self-esteem, it is only pride in ourselves that we are falling prey to. There is a difference between pride in ourselves and giving glory to God for the ability He placed in us to succeed and to be able to do all that He has for us. HE gives us the ability. Our glory should go to Him alone, not to ourselves.
Something to elaborate on another day. For now, gotta go and get ready to walk Sheeba. Wherever you are in your emotions, your feelings, always praise God. He created you, and nothing you do has ever surprised Him. He knows what you are going to do, even before you do it. He knows it. And He's waiting for you to turn to Him for His help, and to give Him glory.
Hallelujah! He deserves all the glory.
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