There have been a few times recently that I have gotten a text or email from someone who will write "I'm dying". Now they aren't really dying, I know that. Yet, I know what they are feeling. I received that comment again last night from someone close to me. So I did my usual response to that complaint:
"You aren't dying. You are bored and lonely. You have things you could be doing, but you don't want to do them. You forget about all your blessings. You need to get your mind off yourself, dig your way out of the pit and stop trying to set up housekeeping in the dark, black pit."
Or something like that. But the bottom line is bored and lonely. I don't have the lonely part, and rarely the bored part, but I understand about the pit. I get into it sometimes myself. In fact, if you read between the lines sometimes, you can see that I often try to buy curtains and rearrange furniture in that pit to make it my home.
But God. There is just something about God that draws me out of that pit. I know that He is faithful. I know that He hears me. I know that He is always with me. I know that He loves me. Even when I do or say stupid things. Even when I've sinned against Him, He forgives me and loves me even more for acknowledging my sin and running back to Him. Back to His safe arms of love, and of comfort, and of joy.
Have you ever been doing something - something normal, perhaps, and all of a sudden you felt such joy, such an infilling of joy, of worship? All you want to do is praise God and worship? And it's not even Sunday? You aren't in church?
I've had a few of those times, but this morning the one I am thinking about, and the one that has come to me frequently lately, is when we lived on Paradise. This was a few years back, cause I haven't hiked in awhile. But I had gone on a hike - alone - (hubby had to be gone somewhere cause he would never have let me go alone) and I had come home. I was filled with such joy unspeakable. Remember the song chorus "Joy unspeakable, full of glory, full of glory, full of glory?" LOL That just popped into my mind.
Anyway, all of a sudden I felt the urge to get into the pool and worship. I know that sounds strange, but it was a very hot day and I was very hot from hiking. So I changed to my swim suit and got in the pool (which I rarely did as well!) and just walked in the pool, lifting up my arms to heaven and singing and praising God. The skies had such a glow about them that day. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was as if God was giving us a beautiful glimpse of heaven. No where near close to its beauty, I assure you, but the clouds, the colors of the sky..... and all I could do was worship.
Sometimes you don't need church to worship. You don't need to be with other people to worship. You just need to let yourself go with God and let Him complete you, fill you, love you... and let yourself experience something special that He has for you.
God shows us in mysterious ways His love and compassion for us. No matter who you are, what you are, or who you think you are. No matter if you are a "Christian" or say you don't believe in God. He loves you.
Sometimes God allows us to wait in this waiting room for Him. We wait and wait for His response to our request. He is giving us time to process, to put our faith in action. Sometimes we are the ones that have to do something.
Yes, sometimes we are the ones that have to do something. We say we are bored. Well, are we sitting there whining we are bored - or are we finding a way to volunteer to do something? Maybe clean up the house? Mop the floor? Go to the store? DO SOMETHING. Don't sit and whine about how bored you are.
You say you can't leave the house for whatever reason? Have to stay home with your spouse who is ill? DO SOMETHING. Bake cookies and take down to the police station or fire station and thank them for taking care of your neighborhood. Learn to knit or crochet and make baby hats for the hospital nurseries.
But don't let the drama of your life pull you into the pit of despair. I know about the pit of despair. I've tried to stay there many times, but God always gives me the encouragement to get out. I am so important to Him that He will reach His hand down to me and tell me "come on, princess, I've got you in this. I'm here. Never forget that."
And He's there for you. No matter if you are at school. No matter if you are at home. No matter if you are at work. No matter where you are, God is reaching His compassionate hand out to you, telling you, "I've got you in this. I'm here. You aren't alone."
Thank you, Jesus, for always loving me, and offering me grace, even when I don't deserve it. As You reach your hand down to me, help me to grab hold of Your precious nail-scarred hand, and allow You to pull me up out of the drama of my life. I love you."
Stop sitting in your drama. Grab hold of His hand and hang on for the ride. It may not be easy, but He will walk you through it.
Blessings!
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