I love Saturdays! I can sleep an hour or so later, (sometimes) and I can hang in here an extra hour if I want to. I love my Saturdays when nothing is planned and I feel inspired to DO something. Well, today really isn't one of those Saturdays, but I do have some 'free' time this morning.
After lunch I will be going over to pick up Ms. Amy. I will drive her Lexus over as she wants to put gas in it (and it takes only Premium she says. I told her she can pay for it) and bring her 'home', which is right next door to us. She only wants to pick up a couple things, and then I will take her back to the assisted living, drive back here and park her car back in the garage. After that it should be time for us to drive and meet our friends at Top Shelf for a nice Mexican dinner. But in between all those times, I hopefully can get some things done. Trying to keep my 'don't want to' at bay.
One more week left in March, can you believe it? Saturday, I think, is April 1st! My oh My! The first quarter - gone! What have I accomplished this first quarter..... I finished a puzzle. I made food and gave it away. (I got an email my soup cookbooks should arrive today! YAY!) We took a grandson out to dinner. We were taken to dinner. I'm sure there are a lot more things... but I'm not going to sit here and try to remember them all. What did YOU accomplish the first quarter of this year?
I got my silver hair blended last night ... blended means I had bleach blond added to kind of reduce the sharpness of it. LOL And it was to be trimmed....but I think he trimmed a bit more than I meant. But that's ok. My hair still grows; just slower, I think. But the best part?
The man who we gave our Sheeba to came in for a haircut before I left. He saw me and called me 'stepmom' (to Sheeba). He told me she has gotten bigger in the last two years; he still takes her walking for two miles every morning and she now weighs 104 pounds. When he's home, she is always stays close to him. He says he loves her so much and is so grateful we gave her to him. I'm so glad she is in a home where she is dearly loved. In spite of the fact she has eaten one entire Bible and yes, he forgot to put away his new one and she got started on it before he caught her... there is just something about 'getting the Word in you' that she likes, I guess. I do miss Sheeba a lot. He asked if we wanted to come and see her, but I declined as I don't want to confuse her. He said the first month she would just mope around the house, like why am I here? where are my mom and dad?... that made me sad. But, she has gotten used to him and loves him too. I would love to see her and see her reaction to me; I think she would remember.... but I don't want to confuse her. So I stay away and hold on to my memories. I so long for another dog, but will probably never have one again. LOL Some day I may have a cat.. but since hubby does not like cats, it will be awhile. Later last night our 'friend' sent us a photo of Sheeba in his back yard. She looks so content.
Why does one still grieve after so much time? We often do that in human terms... but over a dog? I miss Marley a lot too.... I often think of her and wish she could have lived. I think I am so much more attached to Marley and Sheeba because - although hubby wanted them for himself - they became my dogs because I took care of them the most. I walked them the most. I loved on them the most. Those two dogs have my heart, for sure. Marley was so gentle and loving. Sheeba was so big she rough-housed everywhere she went. I love and miss them both. As you remember, we've had many dogs, and had to get rid of them for various reasons. That bothered me, but not like losing Marley and Sheeba has.
Ah, there I go, letting my thoughts get to me.... I need to let it go and move on. It's a new day and it's going to be a beautiful day. I do hope I can get something accomplished. First of all, I'm sure that hubby is waiting for me to fix breakfast. He loves breakfast; I'm ok with it - after all, it is food, and I love food. Bacon and eggs is probably what it will be.
Maybe I'll defrost the freezer an see what is in there. I've used up a lot, and I need to figure out what is left in there. I want to sort through my yarn and get all the brands/kinds/colors together so that I know what I have. I want to go buy MORE yarn, then tell myself I don't need to until I use up more of what I have. I only have one big project I want to complete for Christmas... so I do still have several months to work on them. They will fly by, I'm sure, but should still have time. Want to clean out my closet; clean out the dresser drawers that are full of things I never use anymore (I'm sure you have some of those as well!) . I want ot clean out the cabinets in the garage again.... still have boxes out there I'm not sure what is in them - and after two years, if I haven't used it, I need to dispose of it, right? So much I'd like to do.... but you know I won't get it done... definitely not today. Hubby always seems to put a damper on things I want to accomplish most days. I can't explain it. He just does.
Psalm 69:29 (NKJV): "But I am poor and sorrowful; Let Your salvation, O God, set me up on high."
Sorrows come and go... it's how long we choose to live there that affects us and everyone around us. This has been a heavy week with remembering and missing my mama, my big brother, my big sister, and my little brother. They have been on my mind this week; all of them; thinking of and being reminded of things they said or did. I felt I was sinking in depression and have fought to not be in the pit. Missing them is beneficial to me; it keeps them close to my heart. But allowing my grief and sorrow to overwhelm me where I don't do anything but lay around, is not acceptable. I have to refocus and get out of the pit of sorrow. How do I come out of it?
By reminding myself that Jesus is Lord of all, that He sets my feet on solid ground. He is the One who gets me through each and every day, no matter what comes my way. It is ok to remember those I love and are no longer here. That is an expected thing. But as I heard one pastor say....
"You can not live in your future, if you don't let go of your past."
We can either let the past control all we do and think... our failures, our sorrows, our wickedness - or we can give that to Jesus, and live in our future. I choose a future. Sure, there will still be failures, grief, and things happening.... but it is how I choose to get past them and move on. My Mama, big brother, big sister, and little brother would all want me to think of them occasionally.... but they would never want me to live in my sorrow. They LIVED... therefore I live in their memories too.
Jesus helps us in ways we don't understand. He's always there to listen to our hearts. Let His salvation sweep over you; allow Jesus to set you up on high. Let go of sorrows and regrets; keep the memories.
Blessings!
