For what? For getting my left cataract out of my eye. Yes, I am looking forward to seeing clearly. But, I did get a notice yesterday that my claim had been processed. Sigh. Curious, I signed in to the insurance website. I am thinking I'll let it ride until after this surgery .... They paid some for my doctor - I may need to pay a couple hundred more than I have already paid... and that's for one eye.... so close to $900 for the 2nd eye I will have to pay, I'm guessing. But what concerns me, and I didn't expect; they aren't paying anything for the outpatient surgery center. I may go back in today and relook at everything and send them the question as to why they aren't paying. It is nearly $700. At least I will be close to meeting my $1600 deductible and they should pay more. It is for my eyes - and for me to see - yeah, I'm worth it. I just hate spending the money! It's only money anyway - right? And that is what I have a savings account for and have put money in. For emergencies.
So today we go get our taxes filed.... and I have prayed that God will give us increase in a refund. That we won't have to pay this year. I am hoping that it will be enough that hubby can pay for his own dental surgery ($1400) that he is to schedule in a month or so. UGH. I need to quit spending too. Tighten the belt. And we should anyway. Some year I hope to be able to truly retire.
As for the weekend - I did straighten up my yarn stash. It took a few hours to go through everything and sort out colors/styles/etc. And after church, after lunch (and yes, we broke our 'diets' by stopping at Streets of New York and had a thin crust New York Combo pizza. Oh.My.Goodness... it tasted so good! I've taken to thin crust more than the pan pizzas anymore. So good. Anyway - after we came home, I went to JoAnn's and Michaels to look for a flat long container for my knitting needles. Yep. I used a gift card I had received from hubby some time ago and bought more yarn. Hey - it was on sale! I only spent $13 over the gift card so I did good. I left it in the car though. It's in two big sacks. Hubby asked if I bought yarn and I said yes. I just didn't bring it in. I'll bring it in when he's busy today :-) I don't need his comments. Yes, I still have a lot of yarn... but I have things I need to start on for gifts. Oh, I decided to make do with a box I found that can hold y knitting needles.
It was a great service at church yesterday, although it went two hours. I saw that hubby kept looking at me at the end... but I wouldn't make eye contact and made him sit through the altar call and the prayers. It was a good message from a guest speaker. We hadn't heard her speak before and I admit her style is totally different than what we are used to. And I knew some of her pacing back and forth and loud talking and some other things, would distract hubby from hearing. But he said that he couldn't understand all she said - and I agree with that - but I did notice about halfway through the message he put his hearing aids back in. Music is usually so loud that he doesn't wear them. It didn't help though.
But the words that keep coming back to me are ones I heard a few weeks ago. Something like "God can't take you to your future if you can't let go of your past." Such a true statement. Sometimes I'll hear comments that make me go hmmmm.
Psalm 62:7 (NKJV): "In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God."
I struggled to stay awake this morning (and I did fall asleep some) as I tried to do my quiet time. Part of that is my fault this time - we were watching ION on television - and NCIS was going one after another... and believe it or not, there were a couple that we hadn't seen. At least neither of us remembered them... so we watched until 10PM. When that one stopped and we saw another was starting, hubby turned the TV off so that we wouldn't be tempted to stay up later. Yeah, I know, 10PM is not late for some people... but for us who usually go to bed 8:30PM or 9:00PM... yeah, it's late.
But I did get my reading in, and I am reminded how important it is to have faith. Jesus tells us that 'whatsoever we ask for, we need to have faith it will happen'. Now mind you, that 'whatsoever' needs to be in the will of God... and you know what I mean by that. But as I learned this past year as I prayed for my older sister, although I prayed - and believed - for a miracle.... she passed away. I truly believed that God not only heard my prayer for her healing and restoration, but that He would answer. And He did answer. The answer was 'No'. But it doesn't change my faith nor my belief in my God Why? Because my salvation is in Him alone He is the Rock of my strength, and when I am in pain and hurting with the things that life throws at me, He alone is my Refuge.
I've prayed for healings and people were healed (not just because of MY prayers, but because others prayed as well). I've prayed for healings and people were not healed in the way I wanted them to be. I've prayed for salvations - some happen, some don't. I continue to pray for salvations and restorations of things. I even pray for things for myself. Now you would think that if I pray for myself ... that I can take care of it - right? No, not always. My 'don't want to do that' gets in the way - no matter how much I pray that I do such and such. I have to surrender my will to His and allow Him to work things out and see what His plans are. My plans are of no value... His hand is upon my life and whether I live or die, whether I stay or I go, whether I work or not - I am in His hands alone. I complain hubby won't let me quit work..... but God is the One who is truly in control and He has me still working for a reason. It may be just for my own sanity. :-D
So the next time you are seeking success in something you have planned; when you are struggling with the things of life.... pause and ask God what are His plans for you... and surrender your work; surrender your finances; surrender your family; surrender your very own self to Him. You will never regret it
Blessings!
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