I went back to the doctor yesterday for the one day follow-up. They took the bandage off the eye and added some drops. They did some testing on what I could see out of the right eye - pressure is great; and vision is 20-30. I don't know what it was prior. Anyway, they had me go sit in the lobby until the doctor was available to look at my eye.
As I sat there with the bandage off, I'm trying to get a 'feel' for what is different. I'm having a blurred flash on the right side of my peripheral .... I wonder about that; is that normal? Is it just getting the new lens in my eye adjusted and in place? As I sat there looking around the hallway, I put my hand over my left eye and look only through my right eye - and things seem so bright and clear. I put my head over my right eye, and everything looks dingy gray. What? I do it again. The right eye shows the wall a beautiful bright white. The left eye shows the wall a dingy gray color. Oh.My.Goodness!!
It's like looking through a muddy glass... I now understand what people NEED cataract surgery! If you are ever told you need cataract surgery - schedule it immediately!
In fact, after the doctor came in and examined me.... he commented he could not do the other eye - whenever I was ready for it - but no sooner than two weeks. I said "Great! Let's get it scheduled!" So I am scheduled to have my left eye cataract removed on March 30th. I.can't.wait. I still cannot believe the difference in the lighting - it's like day and night.
The blurred vision on the right continued and soon began to get spaced throughout both eyes... yep.... my silent migraine appeared. I've had a dull ache between the eyes since the surgery so I kind of figured it was from that. But the jagged lines attested to the fact that my head was doing its thing again. I took an Ibuprofen. After about 20 minutes the jagged lines went away, but the dull ache remained somewhat.
I finished a puzzle that I have been working on for some time... I was beginning to think I was missing pieces when it finally came together. Hubby had the TV on, of course. He really does need to get a life. When I finished the puzzle I sat down and started to crochet. Hubby asked if I wanted to watch a movie... I said no... I wanted quiet. Usually he doesn't say anything, but last night he went off on me about 'how can I sit in the office all day by myself 'quiet' and still want quiet at night! He doesn't get it. I don't want to 'think'. I just want to be alone with my thoughts... that are not of work. After a short while I went on to bed... and he stayed up to watch his precious TV. It's either his phone, his computer, or TV. sigh.
I have already put my drops in the right eye for the start of the day. 3 x day x 4 weeks - or until I run out. No make up for 4 days. Don't rub the eye (that part is hard - I find myself reaching up frequently to rub it). Keep water out of the eye if I take a shower or wash my hair. Wear the guard over my eye for one week at night to keep me from rubbing it in my sleep. Do not bend over. Keep my head about my heart. Do not pick up anything over 10 pounds. Don't. Don't. Don't. Do you realize how many times we do things automatically without thinking about it?
I took an extra strength tylenol when I went to bed last night - slept all night without waking up at all - until 3:53AM. I thought about what day it was, and decided I could sleep a bit longer... but sleep escaped me so got up about 30 minutes later. I love it when I can sleep through the entire night without interruption. I don't even mind the early waking up as long as I've slept all the way through.
Need to figure out a grocery list today and pick up some things. I want to clean out my closet. I need to clean out dresser drawers. I need to sort through all my costume jewelry. So many things I really do want to do - but I can't do them because .... well... let's just say it has nothing to do with my surgery. My life is not my own and someone always wants to control what I do.
Oh yeah. Taxes. We meet with our tax guy on the 27th. I've gotten a start on my stuff... reckon I should finish it today and give to hubby. I think I can do that; I've gone through my checkbook and the credit card so know what I charged or spent on medical, etc. Now to sort it all out and figure out mileage for prescriptions and doctor visits. THIS year I will have a lot with having this surgery. But need to work on last year first. Every year I always say I will write everything down as it happens... and I never do. I know I always miss a lot of donations, but trust God to make it right. Hubby has already put a 'curse' on it by saying "I feel we are going to have to pay this year".... well, I don't. I'm not going to 'own it'. I love that we just take totals in to the CPA and ten minutes later our taxes are done and we know what we need to pay or what we will get back. I think we did pay Federal last year.. but it is what it is. But got enough back from State to cover it. Need to work on that today.
Psalm 23:3 (NLT): "He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name."
I like to look at different translations of the Bible to see how a verse is changed - or not. As I looked at Psalm 23:3, most of the translations are He restores my soul or He restoreth my soul or He renews my life.... but I kind of like how the NLT says it today. "He renews my strength." Life has a way of throwing punches at you - sometimes so often that you don't even realize you have been hit until later. You shrug off the hurt and the discomfort. You push aside the pain that is felt, until you think it is but a dull annoyance. But it remains. And if you sit quietly, sometimes that thought brings back the pain anew, and buries itself deep within the recesses of your heart and mind. You try to push it out again, but find it just keeps coming back. But God.
I find that when those times come to my mind; when the pain of living gets almost unbearable, when the hurt of rejection and domination overcomes... when I run to Jesus and tell Him all about it, He renews my strength for yet another day. He takes the pain of my struggles; the hurt in my heart, the injustice spoken or done, He takes it and guides me along His paths of righteousness that sets my feet back on solid ground. My soul is renewed and refreshed when I spend time with Him and His Word. He speaks to me through His Word of life. Oh how I wish I could get you to understand His faithfulness - even when we are unfaithful! His grace covers me; His precious grace covers you. I am lost without it. And so are you.
Let Jesus renew your strength today. Let Him guide you along the right paths, bringing honor to His name. Only He is worthy.
Blessings!
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