and I think hubby is still going to church. I will watch church online today. Maybe a couple services; I can get Jentezen Franklin at 8AM, and then Pure Heart Peoria at 10AM. Win-win - right? Hopefully I will learn something? Hmmm - that should not be a question mark. Sigh.
I did pretty much finish up my part of the tax info I needed to provide to hubby. I worked on it about 4-5 hours, I think, sorting through the receipts I had in my folders, double checking receipts against my list from the checkbook to make sure I didn't duplicate. Our medical expenses this past year is higher than before because of all the dental surgery we had - and this year it will be high because of my eye surgery (and paying out to meet my deductible) and hubby having a wisdom tooth removed (that alone is $1400!!). Our ministry expenses are high tis year as well as I am claiming the airfare and car rental when I went back for my sister's funeral. Yes, I would have gone back anyway, but I did officiate her funeral and I can therefore claim it as an expense. I'm not claiming every single detail of things... but am justifiably claiming what I'm allowed. Hubby seems to be having confusion and difficulty of pulling it all together, which concerns me, but he will not allow me to touch anything he is working on - which is the joint checkbook and his expenses. And he did have a lot of medical expenses last year and doctor appointments with the aneurysm surgery and prostrate issues. It's a 'bear' getting old, isn't it!
Now where did that saying come from? Hmmm I decided to google it. Oh my! The first definition of 'it's a bear' is "something that is difficult or unpleasant to do or deal with". Ok, I get that - and that is the term I use it for. But going further down definitions, it certainly changes its meaning!
I'm wishing this morning that I had more time to read, more time to do other things. Yes, I do crochet a lot and knit occasionally, usually while the TV is on. (see, I CAN do two things at once!) But I'm getting the itch to do other things too. Like (my continuous thought is to declutter but I have to be selective when I do this so that I don't have hubby monitoring me) straightening up the bookcases and getting the books in author or alphabetical order. Every time I mention it, hubby grumbles about the mess in HIS office. If I could send him away for a week or so, I could get so much done around here! LOL Hmmm. What else would I like to do. Oh yeah. Read. But, then I can't physically get other things done. I'd like to sew but it's been so many years, I think I need a refresher course at a sewing shop. Wouldn't that be fun to do! I checked in one place nearby one time - they wanted $75/hour to show me how to sew. I paused on that thought!
I want to do more creative cooking. I enjoy cooking and used to enjoy trying new dishes, new recipes, but anymore, with it just being hubby and I, I don't even bother. I think about cooking and inviting others over, but then hubby and I can't agree (always) on whom. And then, what do I fix? I always have these grand ideas of this or that... but I settle back down on the couch with my crocheting and keep quiet. I need to get a life, I guess.
Galatians 5:22-23 (NKJV): "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Against such there is no law."
Most of us can think of people who have those qualities, or most of them, can we not? I TRY to have all those traits, those qualities, in my life, but I know I often fail. My patience can at times wear thin... and my self-control... well, you know my issues with food! Although sometimes my self-control fails me when my mouth blurts out things I should bury. I bet you do that too!
But those are the things we need to bring to Jesus and ask Him to help us. I like what Mark Batterson wrote in his book Draw the Circle.
"Quit talking to God about your problem and talk to your problem about God."
What does that mean? Quit praying all the time about the issue, thinking that God is going to take care of it without any effort from you. Instead, tell that problem, that issue, that our God is bigger than that relationship, bigger than that financial, bigger than that deadline... our God is bigger than any of these things and when we bring it to God and ask Him to help us with what we need to do to overcome it - speak to that problem or issue and learn to say "I'm sorry this happened" or "Can we start over" or "I will not add to expenses for something that won't last" or "let's focus on getting that expense paid off"... there are so many issues and problems that we all face - many are so different that one can not address them all. I definitely have my own relational and other issues to deal with, as you know, for I have shared many of them in the past.
And for many of them, God has helped me let go of things; let go of hurts; let go of issues; and work on the things that matter. Some things will take time. Others are (or will be) resolved easily enough when I let my pride go, let go of my "I am right" attitude. Which is one reason we also have separate checking accounts - he takes care of the joint account, and I have my personal account, which comes in to play when he runs short. We don't agree on things; surprisingly, right? - he insists on spending more time than is needed on checking and paying bills. For example, he has always mailed our mortgage payment in, although it can also easily be done online. Our mortgage was recently sold to another bank. That bank happens to be down the road from us. Again, he refuses to do it online. He actually made a trip down to that bank last week and asked if he could bring our mortgage payment down there and pay it in person. Now if you can explain the purpose of that.... sigh.
Sounds like I need to 'talk to this problem about my God' huh! Some things are only a problem for me. If going down to the bank to pay our mortgage in person is comforting to hubby, I guess I just need to keep my mouth shut. If I can ever get him to relinquish the bills to me, it will be paid online, for sure! And not on the day it is due! (that part annoys me)
Anyway - now I'm back to my wordy rambling so will hush. It's Sunday; hope you are getting ready for church, or at least ready to watch it online. Free Chapel/Jentezen Franklin comes on at 8AM. Those messages are always amazing. Love how God uses him.
Have a blessed day - take a moment to bless someone today - you'll be glad you did.
Blessings!
