My mind seems to be all over the place this morning, thinking of what to write about. Listening to Free Chapel, the music is so refreshing - and it's at a volume I can understand the words. Sigh. As mentioned earlier this week, I sent an email to our (former) pastor and advised we would be changing churches. No response. (and they said they loved us? No response?) Hubby really wants to go to the Salvation Army Church- and that's ok. We'll go wherever he wants to go. It's just a building. The people were really friendly when we went last week. And then, last night.
Hubby looks at me and says "you don't seem like you want to go to the Salvation Army for church. Don't you want to go?" I just responded it doesn't matter to me, if he wants to go there, we can go there. So he asked if he should start tithing there. (Obviously he hasn't put in tithing anywhere since we haven't been going physically). I told him if he wanted to put it all in today, feel free to do so. It doesn't matter WHERE or WHAT church we give to; our tithing belongs to God, not us. He asked me about the tithing I put in. I just told him I wasn't ready to give it to SA yet. I don't know what is holding me back; the money is in the bank, I have even written the checks without filling in the 'where'. It's God's money, not mine. I want to wait and see if that is where we will be staying. Part of me feels like hubby wants to go there because it is where two couples we know well go when they are in town. Another part knows that it is because the music was quieter, we were very much welcomed (not the usual 'hi, how are you, glad you are here'), and they serve lunch. LOL I guess it really shouldn't matter what the reason is that I think - he wants to go to church to hear the Word (and the message was really good last week) and I should just accept that, right?
And then the conversation changed to 'you don't act like you want to go up north next weekend, so I guess you can cancel the reservation. I thought it would be good for you to get out of town and just relax for the weekend.' I am guessing this stemmed from my comment about the southbound lane of the highway is down to one lane that weekend. No, I haven't cancelled the reservation yet. Will see how the week pans out. No, I'm not real thrilled about 'getting out of town' - I'm content to stay at home and do nothing (except he will leave the TV on all weekend, more than likely). At least at the hotel he doesn't turn on the TV all the time. We read a lot. I do look forward to that. Maybe I need to check out another place - maybe Payson? He is wanting to just get away where it is cooler. He complains about the heat all the time - and to me it's stupid - why? because being inside we're cool! Or as cool as he will leave the air on! I think he keeps it at 80 during the day .... I just quit fussing with him about it. In the hotel I freeze cause he has it turned way low. Not sure how the weekend will work out.... will make a decision in a few days. Now if we were going to Tucson (I almost suggested it, but knew he would pick up on my excitement going one direction rather than the other). ... Just saying.
And in both conversations, I hadn't said a word against either one. But I may have to end up 'making the decision' to go. And I don't care either way - and I told him so. If he wants to go north, we can go north. (other than he is insisting on driving). If he wans to give the tithe to the church this morning, go for it. I don't care. It doesn't change anything. It's not a big deal. It's his choice. Can he not make a decision? What is confusing him? Oh, and he still wants to watch Free Chapel in the mornings. Right now we watch Free Chapel at 8AM, but on the first Sunday in November, the time changes and that service goes to 9AM. I'm listening to the 6AM (which will change to 7AM) service right now. I get a 'double dose' as I watch the 2nd one with him.
Listening to all the things going on with the flood destroying towns and all, my heart breaks. It's hard to even imagine what these people are going through and my heart breaks for them. One thing I am grateful for, Free Chapel shares that all the monies given to them is 100% given to the disaster. They have given $100K to the Red Trucks (name of a group of people taking supplies in), another $250K to another area, and yet another $200K to another area - all to bring relief to the flood victims. Did you hear about the 7 year old boy who drowned, but as he was drowning, he was calling out to Jesus. Guess where he is right now. Sitting at Jesus' feet.
Isaiah 26:4 (NIV) Trust in the Lord forever, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.
Sometimes God allows a lot of things to turn our hearts back to Him. We may lose jobs, lose income. We may have delinquent children, children who have backslidden away from their faith. We may have disease strike our bodies. But when we lean into God, we will find a revival of our souls and will gain much more than we lose. Trusting in Him is the best thing we will ever do.
Don't talk unbelief. Don't talk doubt. Don't say a word. Trust God that He will provide for everything that you need. Have extreme pain? Lean into Jesus and He will go through it with you. You may think it is unbearable, but He will get you through it. You will come out on the other side. Keep trusting. Let the walls fall down that you block out the world with. That you block out the truth with. Don't you know that Jesus is calling in His harvest? And that harvest will include you - if you will let Him draw you in. Oh that you would open up your heart to Him and allow Jesus to take over your thoughts and your actions and your words, and speak truth over you.
Talk northing but healing. Talk nothing but how big God is. When you talk 'God talk', He will come and help you. Don't talk devil talk - he only takes away from you. Get the joy back in your life by surrendering your life to Jesus and let Him be your Rock eternal. Get your shout back - shout about the goodness of God. You have the favor of God, but you have to let go of the world and grab hold of Him. What is your choice? Life or death? Choose life, that you and your children may live.
Blessings!
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