It was a busy day yesterday, although I still didn't do a lot. We watched the service on You Tube of Free Chapel. They had baptisms both services and the stories shared - well, some really got to the heart. I fixed us breakfast sandwiches. I went to Sam's Club. When did food get so expensive? It's more the buying in bulk that makes it expensive. What I bought will last us a couple months, at least. I hope. Stopped to pick up a sugar-free butterfinger low carb protein drink from One Nutrition for us - and that was lunch. So good. Tastes just like a butterfinger. Then home to unload and put away. Didn't take long as I didn't get that much. Just spent a lot. Thought about baking, but decided to work on the first message of the season. Got started, it didn't fit. Started another; didn't fit. Finally came up with one that I like. Talked with my sister awhile. Back to the message. Fell asleep for probably at least 30 minutes. Back to the message. Realized I had been sitting in this chair for about 5 hours and hubby (although I had heard him snoring) would start commenting.....so I put things away and came out. Fixed grilled ham and cheese sandwiches for dinner. And, I drank a glass of ice tea. It sure sounded good. And it was good. And I was awake after we went to bed until after midnight. Seriously. I was awake again at 2:15AM. Dozed until I had to get up. It's gonna be a long day.
I also have my dermatologist appointment today. Seriously, these bunps are still bothering me. Sometimes it feels like something is inside them and moving around. I tell myself it is just healing. But last night the pin pricks on one started and I was rubbing my leg cause it was hurting. And that kept me awake as well, for I could mentally feel these pin pricks. Am I imagining things? Perhaps.
And, I have the gym tonight with Morgan. After she talked with me last week about perhaps starting at 7AM for my training, I checked with my boss to flex my hours. She said I could. She knows that I will make sure I get things done. We may start that next week as Morgan already had the schedule for this week completed. So what does hubby tell me yesterday? "Because you are going to change your hours so that you can work out at 7AM twice a week, how about on the other days you and I go for a walk at 7AM and start walking." I told him no. And my reason is logical. At least to me. I have a small treadmill in the exercise room that he has never bothered to even step a foot on. He can monitor the speed and hold the control in his hand. And, I do not want to have to work to 4:30-5PM every night. I like getting off at 4PM. I feel like I have more of my evening. Of course I gained two hours when I quit driving to work. But the past 4-5 years of working from home, getting off at 4PM is nice. We eat earlier and then I have the evening to get things done if I want to. I was always early to work, getting there between 6-6:30AM to start at 7AM. I often work through lunch. But walking slowly outside (I take one step to his two at a very slow pace and I also have to worry about his falling.) just doesn't appeal to me. Hence the new treadmill. Got rid of the big one, and this little one works fine for what I need. And I do use it. Which hubby commented about. I told him I get on it occasionally when he is gone. When asked why, I told him that he monitors me on it; how long do I stay on it; how often do I use it, etc. My exercise is my exercise. He disagreed with my comment, of course. Oh well.
I may need to drink a glass of tea this morning to get my body functioning after a sleepless night. It's also the Peak Energy Tea that I had in the pitcher. Forgot about that. DUH. No wonder I was awake for hours. Need to keep going on my baking too. Only got 3 loaves of cranberry pumpkin nut bread completed on Saturday.
I plan to send an email to my daughter this morning and tell her hubby and I will not be going to New Mexico. Hubby and I discussed it yesterday. He told me 'not' to use him as an excuse. I'm not looking for excuses. There is just something in my gut telling me not to go. I can't explain it. We love our grandson and his wife and want to see them, so I don't understand this reluctance I have. Even hubby was saying he didn't feel like making that 12 hour trip, even with frequent stops. It's ok we stay home, and I want them to go ahead and go. I just feel the trip will be too much - six days away and my entire schedule is messed up. You know how I love 'change'. Perhaps that is my reluctance. I usually put the Christmas tree up and decorations out the day after Thanksgiving. I could do it before, I suppose. And then there is my surgery on that Tuesday, albeit a small thing. Still, it does weigh on my mind. I will possibly make some irritated at me, and some will be relieved, I'm sure. It's ok to not take us. We're ok with it.
Psalm 71:20 (NKJV): You, who have shown me great and severe troubles, shall revive me again, and bring me up again from the depths of the earth.
When we feel troubled, God still sees us. When we fall into that pit of despair or depression, He still sees us. When we seek Him, even in the midst of our troubles - real or imagined - He sees us, and He hears our cry from the pit. He will bring us up again from the depths of the earth. From the depths of the pit. Grateful that our Lord does not leave us in despair. He doesn't leave us in the pit. You have no idea how far I had sunk the other day as I wrote about it. I could not find the words to express what I was feeling.
But God. He alone is my Rock and my Salvation. He reached out with His hand and pulled me out of that pit I had sunk in to. He is my Rescuer. Until you sink low, you never know how much you need a Savior to pull you out.
You may deny Him. You may acknowledge Him but choose not to follow Him. Your choice. When you feel you have lost everything, when you feel life is pushing you down and you are sinking in the mire of life, you will find the only way out of it is to turn to Him and seek Him. He will turn and look upon you in your distress, and He will answer. Hallelujah.
I have a scripture above my computer that I read frequently because it helps me get through some of the mind-battles I put myself through.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV): Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
I can be pretty stupid at times, and do a lot of stupid things so I must lean into Him and trust Him to guide me into all things. Even then I sometimes screw it up, but He always gets me to the other side. Some people come to the 'fire' of life and start screaming at God and asking Him where He is. You know what? He's right there beside you, and He will walk with you through that fire.
God said it. I believe it. That settles it.
Blessings!
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