I awoke at 3AM this morning and couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and came in here. I've done my reading, and I think I did actually doze again. The sprinklers outside came on at 4AM and I think a sprinkler head has broken again or something for it was very loud. I tried to peek out the window but it was too dark to see. When I finally decided on taking a chance that hubby would wake up, I went to the front door and opened it, intending to go out and look.... when I heard it shut off. So I closed the door and came back in here - and hubby never knew it.
Sigh. What was on my mind when I woke up at 3AM this morning? Two things, actually. The first one I think was from things in the past.... my first thought was of my boys.... and I told myself they would both be home at 3AM and probably sound asleep. But - big sigh - the second thought that has plagued my thoughts this morning. Hubby says he needs new tires on his car. And he very well may. We both fall in to this trap of people telling us what we 'need'.... and he got three estimates - and of course went with the highest because it was the car dealer, whom he for some reason trusts. He gets the new tires put on this morning. (erase erase)
Oh my goodness, where has all this melancholy attitude come from?! I've got to snap out of it! I don't like the depression that hits me when I get to thinking about things I cannot control! And we know that hubby and his thinking is totally out of my control. All I can do is pray.
I need to pull thoughts together for my talk with the women this morning. The thought has occurred to me to just cancel going, but I need to do this for me. It's an hour's drive (at least) to get there.... have lunch with women I don't know (well, I will know two of them), and then give a little talk (about what I'm not sure yet). Then drive an hour back home. Why do I want to do this? Because I love sharing how good God is and what He desires of His women. I've only spoken to a woman's group one time, and this is a bit different. One, it's at a fancy restaurant, and two, I don't know many of them. I don't know if there will be 5 or 10 women. I suppose I could send my friend an email and ask her how many in her group are coming. It's a women's Bible study that meets in her home so it surely can't be many. And then - what to speak on? I've a couple ideas, but am asking God what He wants me to speak on.
It's back to work Monday and I noticed yesterday that my favorite boss is back in town and was on her computer clearing her messages on Saturday. We will be meeting for breakfast on Friday morning so that I can hear about her cruise. She already has 3 meetings hitting against our time, so I may need to ask if we need to find another time. I look forward to our time together, but she has an important position so has to attend some meetings. Our weekends are too short to take time out for our 'admin meeting'.
Luke 10:42: But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.
So many times I get caught up in the busyness of life and I admit, at times I think about putting off my 'quiet time' until I can think more clearly and be more alert. And yet, I know that if I do not take the time first thing in the morning, it will not happen. Some people prefer doing their quiet time in the mornings, as I do. Although, probably not as early as I do. But, whenever they wake up. Others may do it at lunchtime. Still others will wait until they prepare for bed, finding that spending a little time reading their Bibles and praying before going to sleep helps to relax them. (could that be why oft times I will fall back to sleep in here?)
It doesn't matter WHEN you take the time to spend with God. Many of us have very busy schedules. A young mother will feel overwhelmed with baby responsibilities. A young man may be busy with finding a job or getting ready to go to work. As we age, we find that we have managed to put many things ahead of spending time alone with God. But I can tell you one important thing.
Spending time with God each morning is the ONLY thing that has kept me going all these years. He gives me purpose; He gives me the desire to keep going when I want to give up; He gives me answers when I put my need to Him and wait upon Him. If I had not spent time with God each morning all these years and made Him my priority, you would probably see an entirely different person. God is first in my life, and although I screw up at times, when I sit down with Him each morning, He listens, forgives, and helps me direct my path. There is no one else in this world who listens the way He does. No one loves me the way He does.
You are probably rolling your eyes at what I'm writing - but that's on you. God never rolls His eyes at me and definitely does not go "AGAIN"? No, He gathers me in to His loving arms and holds me until I feel better. And I think that is where I will head right now. I need His love, His comfort, His peace, right now.
Blessings!
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