As soon as I finish here this morning, I need to get on the computer and approve timecards. Then I need to go get dressed and fix my face and hair. Yeah, I have a 9:30 appointment today in the heart of the city, which I dislike driving in, so hubby is taking me. He has gone often enough he knows it like the back of his hand. In fact he was just there last week. This is my check up from the last check up after the cataract surgery. It was a year in March that I had both eyes done. I still have difficulty from time to time with my eyes, but I just roll with it. I don't like the ocular migraines I get, but he had said before there is no cure or that. I still wonder if I have 'something' in my head that is causing those. Then there was the fence that came up on my left eye halfway one time and totally blocked my vision. And of course the watering eyes in the mornings, and the tiredness they always seem to feel. One never thinks about how valuable eyesight is, until it is changed, and things start going wrong. Staring at a computer 5 days a week for 8-9 hours a day sure hasn't helped them, I'm sure. But what can I do about that? I do wear computer glasses.
Yesterday was a good day. The talk at church went well, I think. As I sat listening to the other women and their talks, I knew my words would be totally different. And 4 of the 5 ahead of me went over their 7 allowed minutes! LOL I still think I was at 4, but definitely under 5! But as I sat there, the enemy was telling me to 'run away'. To not give my talk. I wasn't going to say anything important. Yeah, the enemy was having a field day with my mind. I would just take a deep breath and ask God to help keep me calm, to help me speak what He wants me to say. And He did. I said my few words, and left them with this:
"As my legacy, I want my children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren, to know that I love Jesus, and that I follow Him." And then I left them with this question...."What legacy do you want to leave?"
I received a text from one of our pastors last night that said I was a good speaker. But it wasn't me speaking..... it was God speaking through me to everyone there. We think we have it under control; money in the bank, food on the table and in the pantry, house in good condition, car working. We think we have it all. But without God, we have nothing. That's why I depend on Him so much.
You have sickness in your family? In your body? Sometimes that is all it is, but sometimes it is also God wanting your attention, that you will turn your thoughts to Him and ask Him to help you get through it. He's a jealous God and when we run to others to fix our problems instead of Him, it does make Him jealous. Many sicknesses would just fade away if we would ask Him to help us. Of course we have to do our part as well.
Hubby started on his drops yesterday. Yes, of course, he has to do them because I am. You know I can't do anything on my own. I need to remind him that he needs to pay me for them too. :-) I am really hoping they will help him 1) be more conscious of all he is eating, and 2) clear his mind of the haze that comes over us when we eat too much, eat too often, or eat wrong foods. Processed foods have been our downfall, for sure, as a nation. Yes, I love potato chips. I'm addicted to them. I can't eat just one. You open up a bag of potato chips around me and I will sit and eat the entire bag. But it is processed. He had me do his measurements Saturday night. Wednesday will mark two weeks for me - I 'feel' smaller in size, a little. I know the first time I measured it was 5" overall. But I'm trying to wait until Wednesday and do a two week check. My weight is slower - but muscle weighs more than fat so can't really go by my scales.
A thought just popped in to my mind and I think I have shared this before.... when I was married to my children's father, we were so poor that our nights 'out' would be sitting on the floor in the front room, with a bottle of wine and a bag of potato chips, and listen to Dr. No. Oh my goodness, that has been such a long time ago. But my love for potato chips has never gone away. Those are fond memories though.
I have offered a package of these drops to one of my boys and I hope he will consider it. I am really thinking of his glucose getting regulated. Unstable sugar isn't good for a diabetic and it has been so long since he has felt good. I just want to help him. I'm not offering it to him to help him lose weight, although it is a side effect if one even follows a little. I'm offering it to him for one month for him to see if he feels better, if he sleeps better. I want him to live the rest of his life pain free and energetic. It's no fun sitting on the sidelines and not being a part of the fun around us.
As for sleep, I'm curious how these drops will affect hubby. I know that for myself, I am sleeping very deep every night now. Even when I wake up in the night to take the walk down the hall, I can go right back to sleep and sleep deep again - and struggle to wake up (my mind is awake, the body is not) most mornings because I don't want to get up and go to work. I know what my problem is. If I was retired, I'd sleep until 5AM and wake up refreshed every morning. I just don't want to work so I delay getting up - like that makes a difference. My time in between getting up and getting on the computer is about 3 hours. I lose my quiet time, not work time. Oh well.
Proverbs 31:30 (NKJV): Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she will be praised.
Fear in this case doesn't mean being afraid of Him, but in being in fearful AWE of who He is. I have never been afraid of God. All He has done has been to direct my path; even when I wonder what in the world is He thinking?! Sometimes life has been so very hard I wanted to run away. But because I love God, I stay and cry out to Him and ask Him to work through me and help me understand what is going on, what is happening, what can I do to make things better. I know He has the answers that I do not have.
I think I surprised my sister the other day as we were talking. I'm hoping it made her get her thoughts off herself and think about it. She had mentioned her hubby, who has cancer of the bone, is 'not doing well'. Well, he hasn't done 'well' for several years now. He has been going through this for ten years. She complains about how he has ruined her life and with him being sick she can't get a job, can't do this or can't do that.... all excuses that come back to his cancer. Now I'm not saying that I wouldn't be doing the same thing, but I don't think so. But ... what I am getting at... the other day she was telling me how bad he was (he is now nothing but skin and bones), and I had her pause in her talking with this question.....
"Perhaps God is allowing the cancer to be in Edward and won't heal him, because He is wanting to use the cancer in Edward to draw you closer to Him?"
She paused her talking. She said "I never thought of it like that." Nor do we when things come up against us. A sickness or death of someone we like or love - maybe it wasn't for the person to die, but it was for us to live through it. Maybe an accident happened because God was waving a red flag in front of you saying, "Hear Me, Listen to Me, Come to Me, and I will show you great and mighty things that I can do through you!" He has saved us to love Him, to adore Him, to glorify Him in everything we do. We are to fear Him, not of what He can do to us with just a glance, but to be in awe of Him, this Mighty and Great All-Knowing One. He is the Lord of Lords, the King of Kings.
The best part? He is always with us, no matter where we are. He's not like other idols - those that are figures made by human hands. He is omniscient, omnipotent, all-knowing, all-consuming. He is love, and joy combined. That is what I want - that is Whom I want to worship. He's not cold and unfeeling. He feels every pain you feel, He sees every tear that is shed. He loves you. And all He wants is you. Will you turn to Him? Let Him heal the broken pieces in your heart.
Blessings!
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