This morning as I have sat here and read in my Bible and in a devotional I enjoy reading each morning, the subject of a mentor has come up. It's still on my mind because in discussions with a couple other people recently, this subject of mentor has come up. What is a mentor?
Webster's dictionary says: (noun) A trusted counselor, a guide. (verb) mentored, menter, mentering. Synonyms for mentor are: coach, counsel, guide, lead, pilot, shepherd, show, tutor.
Many definitions for a mentor. In my mind I classify a mentor as someone who comes alongside someone and encourages them, listens to them, shows them, and helps them... to live life in such a way that whenever you are with them, you feel encouraged, loved, heard, accepted. Do you have someone in your life like that? You should, and if not, I would encourage you to think about it and find and ask someone to come alongside you in life. Or perhaps you should look at being a mentor for someone else.
This world has become a hard place to live in sometimes, and we all need direction on how to get through it. I don't know about you, but I often feel life is a battle the majority of the time. Same routine every day. Get up, go to work, come home, go to sleep - only to start it all over again the next day. Throw in disgruntled people, nagging people, whiney people, lazy people, and even irritating people.... and it can throw our whole day off. But it is a choice on how we react to that around us.
We can ignore it. Which I think most of us try to. We don't want to deal or respond to that whiney, nagging spouse or child. So we shut them out. But what if..... we stopped to listen, really listen. What are they really saying?
We can embrace it. Stop and hear what they are saying, without saying. Are they responding to a deep hurt within them, a hurt that says "look at me! hear me! I need you to see me and help me in this!"
Those are just a couple things we can do. I want you to think about the people you are around during your waking hours. You don't always know what they are going through, what they are truly feeling and what they are showing. Sometimes their words wound us, and we have gotten harden to hearing it. But what if we listened?
I admit I am guilty of shutting hubby out at times in my own frustrations. I am often told much more than I am even interested in hearing. I mean, do I really care what they had for breakfast when he meets with his friends? No, I don't need to know that, but he shares it. Sometimes even down to how many cups of coffee he had. Why do I shut him out? It has nothing to do with me. That's his life, not mine. But he is trying to invite me into his world by sharing.
And even when you think you don't care about what is being discussed, you have no interest in it, 'we' need to stop and listen because we need to hear the root of what they are saying. Do they need your attention? Yes, it may sound like rambling... (look at it this way, I ramble a lot in this blog, and yet, you return occasionally to read it.) ... but they may have something to say that is important enough to get your attention.
Who is in your life that you look up to, respect, and want to learn from? Perhaps it was a teacher you had in school. I remember my English/Literature teacher in high school, Mrs. Kirkham. She was 'Pennsylvania Dutch". She fed into my love of reading and putting words together to write short stories (which I haven't done in years). Mrs. Kirkham gave me the picture in my mind of separating sentences into nouns, verbs, pronouns, and prepositions. She was an encourager and teacher. Yes, one that you will not find nowadays, I'm afraid, but she altered my life when it comes to reading and writing. She mentored me, without even realizing she mentored me.
A former pastor, Steve Chiles, mentored me in my desire to minister to others. He encouraged me, he helped me sort out things, he corrected me, he showed me how to write messages, he directed my path to find topics to share. I read books he recommended to help me. I wrote messages that he would review and give advice on. I became involved in ministries that he saw in me. He believed in me. I miss him not being close by, but even now when I become 'stuck', he will always answer my telephone call or email when I reach out to him.
Pastor Steve was the first person who ever treated me as a valued person. You would have to know me years before to understand that statement. He wanted me on the church board as an elder. I got elected by the church. The elders were invited to go to Saddleback church in California for a two-three day conference on leadership. Excited, yet scared, feeling insecure and inferior to the other people who had college degrees and successful (so it seemed) lives, I got to go. Pastor Steve let me sit in the front seat where I could listen better to all the conversations in the vehicle on the drive over and back. But what really made me feel valued was he made sure I was included in all conversations, made sure I was always felt a part of the group, helped me even with ordering dinner at a fancy restaurant on the side of the mountain - a place I would never have gone - ever. But the church paid for our trip and each one of us who attended were shown value and appreciation and love. When we would stop at Circle K for coffee, Pastor Steve always made sure 'Princess' got a cup if I wanted it. He always called me Princess and treated me like a valued and a treasured person. I loved to just sit and listen to him share his wisdom of the scriptures, of life. He made learning about life and ministry fun.
I have never thought of myself 'good enough' to be a mentor for someone as I seem to always find a fault that makes me feel unworthy. And yet, in the past few years, people have commented that I have been their mentor in their walk with God. It always surprises me when they verbalize it. I share books I read, I listen to their struggles, I encourage, and I give my insight (sometimes)... sometimes all I need to do is be quiet and listen and ask the right questions to get them to see their answer. Even when I don't know the answer. I haven't looked at myself as a mentor and yet, I love to share Jesus with others and encourage them in their walk. It encourages me to keep reading, to keep understanding and searching for the right answers, to keep listening and hearing what is being said.
As a parent we often don't look to be a mentor to our children, but I have friends who truly look up to their parents as their mentors, although they don't call them mentors. These parents have poured into their children, perhaps not always of the Bible, but of life and have taught them skills that have helped them become the men and women they are today. By their parents attention, their lives, they have become the example of who the child can become - or not become - depending on their choices in life. The parent is the first mentor in a child's life, to influence them in the way they should walk. We often fail in that as a parent. Byour lives we mentor to our children how to live, how to love, how to respond.
I will always be grateful to Pastor Steve for his faithfulness to God to pass on to others, to me, how to live a life worthy to lead others to Jesus. I often struggle, as many of you know, but without this mentor in my life, without being encouraged and shown how to live in this crazy world, how to treat others with love, grace, and forgiveness.... I could not be the person I am today.
Who is the mentor in your life? Who feeds into you and encourages you, who listens to you and only offers advice when you ask for it?
And as important... who are you mentoring, encouraging and listening to; offering advice when they ask for it? Who do you have wanting to walk in your shoes?
Something to think about.
Blessings!
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