Yeah, hubby ad I discussed over the weekend about leaving Sheeba at home and US going for a walk in the mornings so that I could get a walk in. I haven't taken a walk since Sheeba broke my toe. Or caused me to break my toe. She's too strong for me to take out now. When no dogs are around, she is fine. I have no problem in keeping her next to me and walking as she should. It's when we come up on someone who is walking their dog - and in the mornings when I can walk, there are probably about 10 people out walking their dog(s). Anyway, we talked about starting this morning on the walk.
BUT. I woke up around 1AM and could no go back to sleep. I prayed. I thought. I prayed some more. (my kids should have a great day today!) and finally I told myself that if I was still awake at 3AM I may as well get up. I fell asleep somewhere between 2:20AM and 3AM. Struggled to get up at 4AM, and I do think I fell asleep in my chair as I started reading. Didn't look at the clock so don't know how long, but I am pretty sure I slept. When hubby brought my coffee in about 4:30AM I told him I wasn't going to go walk this morning because of lack of sleep. But now that I slept this morning after he brought my coffee in, will see. I'm kind of comfy in this chair, and I'd have to dig out from under my blanket, get dressed, and be ready by 6:15AM anyway so that I could walk at least half hour before work. I'm thinking more that to make myself take a lunch break, perhaps I will walk at lunch time. I usually work straight through. No, I don't get off earlier if I do that. I still have to be online until 4PM at least unless I ask off.
But I do need to start walking again. It would help me to sleep for sure if I would get some exercise in. I want to start over at the REC center (gym) tonight. Will see if I make it.
I did start my Christmas baking last night. I made two batches of my cranberry pumpkin nut bread and got them in the freezer. I don't think, since I'm not in the office, that I will need more than that. Maybe one more batch at most. But until I sit down and make my list up, I don't know. That took care of yesterday afternoon, and I did not unpack any boxes as planned. Of course in the evening I worked on the afghan. It's 36" x 56" now..... I think I need to add just a bit more to the 36" side and then I'm done with this one - and will start another afghan for another boss. It won't be as long. This is the first one I've made and I didn't know how long to make it. Measured it against one my mother had made - and I will let mother win on size.
I had three special 'treats' this weekend. I got to see my daughter's new house and hear their plans for remodeling it. It's big and beautiful. Loved the back yard and the way it is fixed up. Saturday I got a text from one of my granddaughters that I was on her mind and she just wanted to say she loved me. That means so much to me. This granddaughter will always have my heart. Some days that is all one needs; just a reminder that they are thought of, and loved. Lastly, my middle child text'd yesterday for Christmas gifts for hubby.... then he called and I got my 'orders'. Only one gift for he and his wife. He knows I love to give things to my kids.... yes, my grandchildren too, but MY children.... I always felt they didn't get much and I wanted to give to them as I could. I understood what he was saying, and I agreed to keep it limited. That just means I'm done with their shopping. Which could be a good thing. I need to finish wrapping what has already come in and see where I'm at on everyone else. No one is getting a lot this year, not even the grandchildren. It's time for us 'old folks' to start saving and quit spending so much.
Although I reckon we spend more going out to eat most weeks. Hubby especially. He does love to eat out. I do too, but many times I'd rather just fix a shake and stay home. Or just have something light. When he's hungry, he's h-u-n-g-r-y. He does eat out a minimum of once a week (with his Friday morning buddies) and now his Tuesday guys are meeting at Denny's (half way for one of them) so he'll eat dinner there.
I guess I can't say much - I either pick up food and take to my daughter's on Tuesdays - which is technically eating out - or she will pick up food or fix something for us for dinner. Then there are the times that hubby insists we go out to eat. Like last week when I truly wasn't hungry at all, and had to go. Couldn't eat it all either so had to bring it home. Sheeba liked the leftover meat. But, if I say I don't want to go ... well, it's just easier to go and shut up. It just means he wants my undivided attention and wants to tell me something.
I read in my devotions this morning about timing. How, even though we see something and want to fix it, sometimes we need to leave it alone and let it work itself out. That is a hard one for me. When I see one of my children or grandchildren, or even a close friend struggling, I want to help. There have been many times over the years that I wanted to go in and 'fix' things for them, for whatever it was. But I knew it wasn't my place and I needed to keep my hands off. And I did, except I would pray. And you know what? They always worked through the problem themselves. And they probably learned something through it.
The timing is as critical as the involvement. You don't just force your way in. Even if you've got the stuff that's needed....even if you hold the piece perfectly shaped to fit the other person's missing part of the puzzle....you can't put it into place. You must not try. You must do the most difficult thing for compassion to do. You must wait. Even if others are suffering and disillusioned and getting through the misery of misunderstand, heartache, and sleepless nights.
Even God waits to help us, even though He is a compassionate God. He will let us go through the fire of our own willfulness, loving us through it all, so that we will learn from it.
Our Lord would love to piece together the shattered fragments of your life. But He is waiting...graciously waiting until the time is right.
Until you retired of the life you are living....until you see it for what it really is.
Until you are weary of coping....of taking charge of your own life....until you realize the mess you are making of it.
Until you recognize your need for Him.
He's waiting.
God's timing is always on time.
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