God only knows....

 I woke up this morning with the song 'God Only Knows' by for King and Country going through my mind.  I don't know what prompted that specific song.  All I can think of is what my little sister is going through currently.

God Only Knows

God only knows what you've been through

God only knows what they say about you

God only knows how it's killing you

But there's a kind of love that God only knows

God only knows what you've been through

God only knows what they say about you

God only knows the real you

There's a kind of love that God only knows

Yesterday my brother-in-law went to the doctor.  He has multiple myeloma and after a stem cell transfusion he got this past summer, it did not go away.  It did not go into remission.  Yesterday the doctor told him to cancel Thanksgiving and Christmas and he was to go nowhere, because his lack of an immune system at this point would kill him if he should contract COVID or any other bug that is out there.  His body just could not fight it off.  He has a 20% or 30% chance of surviving it.

God only knows what you've been through, God only knows what they say about you.  God only know how it's killing you, But there's a kind of love that God only knows......

Of course the song isn't about disease or its affect on someone,   But it can reflect what a person goes through.  My little sister has been through a lot with this husband. But I think, and she occasionally will agree with me, that God prepared her in part for what was ahead of her 7 years ago.  Or perhaps it was 8 years ago she took a CNA class.  She is the type that likes to take care of people.  She worked as a CNA for less than a year, then they took their usual yearly trip to Florida for 3 months after the holidays.  When you are "retired" you can go live next to the beach for three months while it's snowing back home.  They bought two homes.  Then, the diagnosis came when the back pain just would not go away.  Once chemo started, and the diarrhea, the vomiting, and all that went with it, being a CNA was a necessity and it became an unpaid job.  I'm sure the joy went away as well.

It has been a struggle, for sure.  Especially when things happening over the years removed the love  of marriage.  Complain she has not (well, only to me) so much about taking care of her husband, it is more of his demand she be with him constantly.  He doesn't want to be alone should he die.  Well, it's been 7 years now.... and judging from what the doctor said, and the words they can't do anything for him anymore (so much for trial therapy for 7 years), I'm sure he is afraid of being alone.  But the toll has taken joy and much more away from them.  

God only knows what you've been through, God only knows what they say about you.  God only knows how it's killing you, But there's a kind of love that God only knows...

How many of us have been in situations that we don't understand the 'WHY' of it?  Why did we lose that job?  Why did my spouse or my child become sick and not get well?  Why did that accident happen?  Why did..... you can fill in the blank.

We cannot always answer the why.  We don't understand God's ways because His ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts.  He sees all, knows all, loves all, cares all....

Remember the time you got something you really wanted and you didn't think you'd ever get it?  God got it to happen.  Yeah, even if you think you did it all by yourself, or someone else did it for you, it was God.   All things are in His hands.  He knows what we need......even before we need it.

That job you are doing?  He created an open position so that you could be hired.  That class you are taking?  He inspired a teacher to take those classes needed, so that they could teach you.   There are so many things that God does for us, way in advance, and so many that we take for granted.

When I left my job after 26 years, I received one year's pay.  It got to the very last check to arrive before I found another job.   God knew I needed a job, and He prepared it for me for just the right moment.  After 5 years there, the company lost their contract.  Although my job was pretty secure, my boss's was not and she went to another company.  But I wasn't happy with my new boss who wouldn't talk to me.  After a few months, my old boss called me, and I left and went to this new company.  God has provided all along security for my family.  My job has always been the security blanket.  So much so, hubby will not let me retire.  But some day I shall.  But I am in God's hands and I trust Him to show me when, if it happens in my own power.  Otherwise....  but I have to keep busy.  Sitting at home day after day is not how I want to live.  We don't have money to travel.  I would have to volunteer or go work somewhere.

So what about you?  What are you going through that you think God doesn't know about?  You probably haven't even thought about it, have you?  You think you are managing all by yourself, that things are going well.  And they may be, and your skills and wisdom are helping you succeed.  Good for you.  But you aren't in it alone.  Regardless of what you may think.

Psalm 20:7 - Some trust in chariots and some trust in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

Who - or what - are you trusting in?

God only knows.