A lot on my mind....

 My middle child did not make it over yesterday as planned; appointments don't always get processed as planned.  BUT - he did text me later and is now taking me out to eat in a couple weeks.  I love those times when we can just catch up - just like when he stopped by with Rainbow donuts a week ago.  Those are the memories I hold on to.

My youngest did stop by yesterday and pick up a couple jars of salsa... it's been a couple weeks and one had already gone bad and had to be dumped, but he took two jars and said they'd probably be gone that night.  I should have called him a week ago, but life gets in the way.  

I think I mentioned the other day that I got a request to come back for a 2nd mammogram and ultrasound.... I'm not concerned about it, been through that before.  I find it interesting that the very spot they said they want to look at, I remember it hurting before I went, and it is hurting this morning.  But - I am believing still it is nothing more than fatty tissue bumping in to each other.

Speaking of fatty tissue... and this is troubling me and bringing me down.  I'm fighting back, I'm fighting against it.  I went to the gym last night for my workout and my trainer wanted to do what is called 'InBody' which measures muscle, fat, water, etc. in your body.  It's been two months since I had it done.  And yes, two months ago it showed I was fat.  He said I didn't need to drink a gallon of water a day as I had been trying to do - which showed an excess of water in my body... so I cut back some.  Now I know I don't eat perfectly, and you know I love my chocolate and I often 'cheat' and eat things that I shouldn't be eating if I want to lose weight.  I thought I had been doing fairly well with my eating habits ... not perfect, but was paying more attention, I thought.

He took the InBody test.... and then he wouldn't even let me see it.  That was the first sign something was off. He finally said only one line went down (my weight had gone up ANOTHER 3 pounds!)... and didn't say what it was... but obviously it wasn't my fat being changed for muscle.  I struggled through the workout, which was changed and he really pushed me to do more reps and heavier weights.  I pushed though and completed all he wanted to - and got my heart rate up to 127 at one point.  He said I really need to get it up to 146.  Something about you take 200 and minus your age, then the remaining number is what your heart rate should get to if you want to lose weight.  Something about metabolism.  He never did show me the paper and I asked him to send me a copy, but he hasn't yet.  I'll send him a reminder as I won't see him again until Monday.  It was depressing news as I have really been pushing on my workouts... but in reality, twice a week good workouts just aren't enough.  I should have also been on the treadmill and doing things here at home.  If I don't want to be embarrassed next time, I probably should kick my butt in gear and do some things here at home.  Afterall, that's what I have the equipment here for, right?  It's just hard to do when hubby's here.  I don't like being questioned nor watched.\  It's just me.

My trainer also told me he didn't think I was eating enough protein - i.e., chicken and fish - and he is probably right.  I cook just enough to get by with... and supplement it with veggies... so he gave me a gram figure but I don't remember what it was.... but I am resolved to eat more chicken and fish.  I stopped at Bashas on my way home and picked up a rotesserie chicken and raw veggie tray and that was our dinner last night.  I'm embarrassed about the InBody test not being good; I had really expected it to show I had gained a lot of muscle and lost some fat.  But if I want to lose weight, and I do, I need to be more focused on what I'm eating, quit skipping meals, and quit nibbling and calling it a meal.  At least protein shakes are enjoyable and I can make in different flavors - chocolate or vanilla or strawberry.  Got to cut back on my sugar and carbs.   I.Can.Do.This.   And of course hubby needs to do it too so I don't have to prepare extra food for him.  He's not losing cause he eats out so much... which usually causes me not to eat here at home cause I don't have to cook. I need to look beyond that and make a shake at least.

So there you have it - a couple things that are weighing me down this morning.  The InBody report though, that was a kick to the stomach, and my trainer knew it, which is probably why he didn't let me see it.  But on the positive side.... I am a lot stronger (I have biceps!) than I was three months ago.  I just still have this fat belly and butt.  But this too shall pass, mama alwsays said so.  True, she wasn't referring to my body fat, but whenever troubles came around, my mama could be heard saying "this too shall pass"... and it always did.  

I got a surprise this morning - on my phone is a text from my big brother that says he has sent me a package and it will be arriving tomorrow!  He is always surprising me with gifts.  One time it was a box of chocolate - remember that? - it was a few years ago and it arrived in the summer.  I told him don't send chocolate in the summer anymore.  Not to this state.  But after cooling in the refrigerator for a couple hours, there was no problem in popping them in my mouth. Oh there I go again! food!

I have a dermatologist appointment this morning early so need to stop early and jump in the shower.  This is to be just a yearly screening, and occasionally he freezes a couple moles and sometimes he will scape and send off.  I'm sure all is fine and it's good to get checked out.  When I was growing up back in the midwest, our 'thing' was laying out in the sun and getting burned and then tanned.  That is what we are watching for now - could any thing be changing.  Little did we know back then what it could cause when we get older.

There is a song by Bethel Music called "Goodness of God".  That song is one of my favorites and it is running through my mind this morning....

"All my life You have been faithful.  All my life you have been good, so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God."

I have found that no matter how many fires I have gone through in my life, His goodness is always running after me.  He is always so close to me, holding me, walking with me through every fire.  And you know what?  When you are following Him, He will not leave you in the fire alone.  When you get to the fire, He will walk with you THROUGH the fire.  No matter what that fire is... when you follow Jesus, He will always walk with you through it.

He is with you when you struggle.  He is with you when you walk through the shadows of the valley of death.  He is with you with a child is born and you feel so much love and joy. He is with you when life is hard. He is with you in the court case.  He is with you in your job.  Jesus will never leave your side, when you choose Him as your best friend.  He is a friend whom is closer than a brother.  

There is no fear when Jesus is near.  Do you know Him?  Do you trust Him?  I've shared things on here that I haven't shared with others - not even hubby at this point - many days I've shared things that it has been easier to share what I feel on here than in person.  But through it all.... I know that Jesus is walking with me.  I have no fear of what the future holds, for I know Who holds my future.

Blessed is the name of the Lord.  

Blessings!

Kind of frustrating this morning....

 My current laptop has what I believe is a swollen battery, which has caused the laptop to start popping apart.  Remember the deal with my work laptop a few months ago?  All they had to do was open it; take the old battery out, put a new one in, and snap it shut again.  Well, this one is a surface pro and I don't think it can be done to it.  But, I love this little laptop.  Small screen, touchscreen, no side pad... perfect for what I use this for.  But I complained.  And my son-in-law wiped his laptop clean and gave to me.  Very kind, very thoughtful.  So I tried setting it up this morning .... and now I've changed my google password a zillion times, jumped through hoops and around corners, and it wouldn't let me get into my son's blog, nor would it bring up mine so that I could type in it.  I am limited on my time in the mornings, as you know, so here I am back on my old laptop.  I'm not so sure the new one will work out, but realize as well that I will need to continue to work on it and set it up, and once I get that done, I will (maybe) be ok with it.  It's all a learning process.  And we all know how much I enjoy learning processes.  Sigh.  So - since I wanted to get this typed, and have one eye on the clock as well, I'm on the old laptop just typing away!  Lucky you!

As I was going through the double password confirmations between my new laptop and my phone, I saw a text from my son that he may be out our way today and to call him after 8AM.  Hot dog!  I may get to see my son today. :-)

Got test results back yesterday from my doctor.  All my labs were great - none of my medications change. And no, I don't take these because I'm 'old'.... well, one may be - my bone one.... but the other two medications I've taken for years - before I 'got old'.  And nothing is changed.  YAY.  But, I need to go redo the mammogram and get an ultrasound.  I'm not afraid or worried.... I've gone through this before.  But even if it is something, I am still not afraid.  I used to have to get ultrasounds every time I got a mammogram, but for the past two-three years, it hasn't been necessary; the mammograms got by.  Oh well - all part of the medical check-up process.  I've rescheduled it already and am on a waitlist for any cancellations to get in sooner than next month.  That info is just to update... and you can say a prayer if you have an inkling to.  

I Peter 5:7 (NKJV):  "casting all your cares on Him, for He cares for you."

That scripture has come to mind this morning and I am holding on to it.  Do you ever have those moments when things just feel so overwhelming and you are ready to just sit down and cry, in hopes that it will make you feel better?  No, I'm not there.  But I love this verse for that reason.  Whenever I have been overwhelmed and burdened down, I know that I can always sit down, tell God all my problems, all my fears, all my frustrations ....

and I know that He cares for me, that He loves me, and that although He already knows what is exactly going on with me, He is still listening, still waiting, still right here for me.  And, when I let go and tell Him all that is going on.... I can feel His peace that passeth all understanding flow over me and cover me like a blanket.  It is the best feeling ever, to be wrapped up in God's love and feel His Presence all around me.

So what is bothering you this morning?  What is going on in your life?  Is there something that is gnawing at you, irritating you, making you sad or just feel like you are struggling?  Why not stop right here and take a moment and just pray that God will take whatever that issue is and help you see it through His eyes?

Father, I know I may not be living as You want me to live, and I'm sorry.  I'm not sure if I'm ready to let go of my life and let You in, but right now I am struggling so over this situation and I need help.  I've been told that You are always available, that You still love me in spite of what I have done.  So, I'm going to ask You, if You would help me with this situation.  That You will give me clarity as to what to do. That You will show me who You are.  Please give me the faith to believe.  Here's my problem, Lord, please show me what to do....

Of course you can word it however you want... but if you don't think believe that prayer is just having a conversation with God, you can use that as an example. Some day I pray that you will believe in the One who is above all names, Jesus Christ, our Savior of the world.  God's only begotten Son.  The One who went to the cross for you and for me.  Our Lord.  

And, with that - my time is running out.... make today the first day of your life - believe in Him who created you.

Blessings!

Why are Mondays so busy??

 Yesterday was so busy with work!  Everyone was asking for a meeting or something to be done.  But I had to scoot away for about an hour and have a medical test completed.  This will make you chuckle, I'm sure.  I had to go for my annual mammogram.  Oh the joy of it.... I say sarcastically.  As I undress and get ready for it, and go to the room for the test, and the technician is setting me up with the machine.... these words came to mind.... you may have heard them before in a song.....  "Do your boobs hang low, do they swing to and fro...."  and I started laughing.  Try holding your breath when they say 'don't breathe' and you are having that song in your mind!  Of course I had to tell the technician what came to my mind!  She got a chuckle out of it too.  And I had to look up the words to the song and send to my boss when I got back - she cracked up! She said she'd be humming that tune all afternoon!

Once back home I was busy with meetings and questions again.  But hey, job security, right?  I still have one or two I didn't find a time for and need to ask questions about how critical is it and can I move it to another date further out.  I don't mind scheduling meetings.... I just get annoyed when people who are optional on the meeting think the meeting is all about them and insist it be according to THEIR schedule - and their calendars are totally blocked out for one reason or another.  I THINK I finally got this one scheduled.... but as crazy as yesterday was, I'm not sure if I moved it to this date/time or if that was the one I was supposed to move.  She was on two meetings - I know I moved one... but now don't remember which one.  Oh well.  I think it is today so reckon I will find out.

Had my workout last night and my trainer and I had a chat.  We were working on 'chest' last night to start with - and I remembered the song again... and commented that yeah, I needed 'chest work' to tighten up.  That got our conversation going on what did I really want to accomplish with these trainings.  I told him I have several skirts that have been hanging in my closet for about 5 years - and about 4 of those years - since the beginning of COVID anyway, I have not been able to get my butt into the skirt and get it zipped up. Yeah, I have a fat butt. I sit all day at a desk; expected spread. So guess what.  I did it to myself.  I told him that. And he told me that he was going to change my workouts. He also wanted to get my heart rate up. I was puzzled and said that I've never been able to get my heart rate up above 110 - even when running a little on the treadmill.  He proved me wrong.  He got my heart beating - and not just because he is so cute!  Lower weights, higher reps proved that he could get my heart rate up to 131 - that was the highest he got it - and he calculated that the goal is 146 according to my age.  He said to take 220 (where that number came from I have no idea) and subtract your age.  (you doing it mentally?) Anyway - THAT is what your workout heartrate should be in order to lose weight.  PLUS he wants me to come a little early when I can and get on the treadmill or bike for 10-15 minutes BEFORE he kills me with a workout. But, if I want to see physical changes - and not just strength and gain muscle - I need to push myself a bit harder, I guess.  I'm actually looking forward (I think) to my workout on Wednesday.  Except it is lower body and I'm not sure I'll be able to walk out of the gym; lately my legs are like the weeble wobbles.... you know, they wobble but don't fall down?  I'm real close sometimes to not making it to my car.  But I love working out.

Didn't sleep much last night - and was awakened during the night with that 'thought' of something wrong... or could be.... and spent time praying.  My boys ought to be preachers as much as I have prayed for them over the years!  But somehow I always get more ammunition to pray for them more. Many times they tell me nothing was going on.... and I'm grateful.... for something unknown could have gone on - and neither of us know what.... but God knows. Grateful He wakes me to pray for my children and grandchildren.    You ever wake up in the middle of the night?  Turn your thoughts outside of sleep and ask God - does one of my children need me to pray over them right now? Pray for their safety even though I know they are in bed asleep?  Don't neglect your duty as a parent to cover your child or your spouse in prayer.  It may be the prayer that saves them from harm.

I'm thinking today may be a light day for work; just finish up things I didn't get done yesterday. And one person is already on me about EXTENDING her meetings into 2024.  Good grief!  I have it on my calendar to do in October, not the middle of September!  But, I did get a couple of her meetings extended - and of course then had to deal with finding a room to get them in.  Need to work on that today and get that specific meeting done.  The system will only allow reservations to rooms up to a year - which means mid-year I will have to go in and extend to the end of the year.  Throws me off schedule for sure.  But I have 4 people I need to extend meetings for - so yeah, may as well start getting on it. Some are weekly, some are monthly, some are bi-monthly.  At least with getting them on the calendar now, their calendars for 2024 are fairly empty.

Philippians 4:4 (NKJV):  "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I will say, rejoice!"

Did you know that when you rejoice in the Lord, you find your joy?  You do!  When you take the time to pause life, and turn your thoughts to Him, you will find peace that passeth all understanding will flow over you.  Try it.  Just take 5 minutes.  Do nothing; don't think about anything but how good God has been to you.

If you are a Christian, and follow Jesus, thank Him for His sacrifice for you.

If you are not a Christian, and choose your own way, thank Him for providing and taking care of you and your family while you do your own thing. (yeah, He does that too)

If you are working, pause and thank Him for providing a job for you that you can provide for your family.

If you and your family are healthy, pause and thank Him for being Jehovah Rapha and taking care of you all.

If you are struggling, if there is sickness in your home, still thank Him.  Why? Because He loves you and even in sickness and in health, Jesus is always there for you.  He is so near to you, just waiting for you to invite Him in.

It doesn't matter where we are in life.  Whether I am disagreeing with hubby, struggling with my own issues, dealing with stress of my job, hurting from things said to me in anger from family, feeling disorganized, disowned, and unwanted..... I can still raise my head and thank my God for I know that I am dearly loved, much wanted, and wondrously cared for.  

And so are you.  Do you realize how dearly you are loved?  Take a moment, just say "thank You, Lord", and know that you are heard, loved, and wanted by Him.  

Blessings!

The definition of .....Greed....

 "selfish desire for food, money, or possessions over and above one's needs."

Our message at church yesterday was on greed and it was very interesting.  No, no one was called out, although at one point our pastor asked in his message 'are you selfish?' and someone reaised their hand!  I think we all are selfish to a degree.  Granted if we know someone NEEDS something, we will (nearly) always try to help them meet that need.  But sometimes it isn't up to us to meet that need. Just saying.  Anyway... how often do we hear of a need and just shrug it off and think 'they should have prepared for this', 'it's their problem, not mine'.  Or even "I may have the ability to help, but it isn't my problem'.  I'm pretty sure many of us have struggled with our responses to certain problems.

I know of one family who constantly has problems.  It breaks my heart, it really does.  BUT.... some people like to live in their problems, I think.  It gives them purpose.  I've tried to help; I've tried to counsel; I've offered suggestions.  They do not want to get on their feet. They do not want to be in a better position.  They want to spend what extra they get on going out to eat or travels or useless things. They don't save for that struggle they know is looming on the horizon.  It's easier to have a 'woe is me' complex.  I think we all know people like that.  And it's frustrating, for you know if they'd just step back and look, they can see what everyone else sees.  I think it is great if you can buy a little extra of something and give it away.  But when you hoard it, waiting on the opportunity to give it away and it either doesn't happen or you ignore it when it does.... and six months later you throw things away because they have expired... you have not done anything but waste time and money.

When I was growing up, I had everything I needed.  I did not get everything I wanted.  I can remember having one doll - it was a bride doll that friends had bought me after my dad passed, and I have a picture of it.  I had two dresses to wear to school. I'd wear one two days and the other three days and then they'd be washed to be worn the next week.  I can still remember when I got a third dress.  My oldest stepbrother had gone to work in a department store, and one Christmas I received some dresses from him; I don't remember how many.  I was so excited!  I wore one to church... and then we had to return all the others...because he was arrested for stealing them out of the warehouse; not just my dresses, but other gifts as well.  He saw the need, and wanted to supply it, but did it the wrong way.  When I got a job at W.T. Grant at age 15 1/2,  my mother took my checks to help with bills, but she did buy me a couple more 'suits'.  Yeah, back then it was suits once we hit the teens pretty much.  Afterall, I was going into the business world!  After I graduated at age 17, I went to work at Indiana Bell Telephone Company, and I had to wear suits and look nice.  The point I'm getting at, in all of this rambling, is that I had all I needed.  I had clothes to wear, albeit few of them. I had shoes on my feet.  And we had food to eat.  I can look back now on my childhood and realize that we did in fact have all that we needed.  Sure, I probably wanted more things, dolls, toys, etc. but there was no money for that and we accepted it.  We didn't know any different than not to accept it.  

As the years have passed and I have purchased way more 'things' than we could ever use, and hearing the message on 'greed' yesterday, I have given this a lot of thought, going through tings in my mind. Oh I got rid of a lot of 'things' when we moved here, and I still have a lot of more that I could give away. If I knew of someone who wanted something and I wasn't using it - they can have it.  Some things I have several of...just because I wanted it.  But I didn't NEED it.  Now they take up space.  So I ask myself now... what am I selfishly hoarding... not letting others have so that it could be used?  But then I also ask... who has a need?  I know I've given things to strangers in the past that had a house burn down, but haven't heard of any 'needs' lately.  They always want us to give to Goodwill, who makes a profit off of everything.  Savers gives a portion to Big Brothers Big Sisters.  Salvation Army doesn't hold on to any monies, but gives it all back in to the community.  I like giving to them.  When I hear of we're going to set up a house for someone, what can you give?... I go blank, for I then begin to think, what do they need?  What do they already have?  Would they use / would they appreciate the gift?

Psalm 121:1-2 (NKJV):  "I will life up my eyes to the hills, from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."

I have prayed and quoted that scripture many, many times over the years.  So many times our needs have been financial because of bad decisions we had made.  God has proven time and again He is our Jehovah Jireh, the Lord who provides.  He has always been our Provider, who always supplies all that we need.  Yes, I do have a lot of things I can give away and get rid of.  I do 'hoard' some things; which I give away when I hear of that need.  I guess you could say I 'hoard' my books.  Sigh.  Yet, if you wanted any, I would tell you to take them.  And then struggle not to replace them.  I love my books.  But not more than I love my God who supplies them for me.

I've lived through some tough times - times when our house was so cold that my ceramic paints setting above the heater in the room had frozen.  Times when I'd put my hand in the refrigerator and realize it was warmer in the refrigerator than it was in the kitchen.  I can laugh about it now, but it was our reality. We lived in one room of the house; the one room that had a oil heater.  But we were rich in love and laughter.  We were family and we were together.  We were rich.

Having things doesn't make one rich.  Having a fancy home doesn't make one rich.  What is inside that home - the atmosphere, the love - within that home, that makes it rich.  Things break. Things get old and useless. Things gather dust.  But the greatest thing we can have is love for each other.

Everything else can fade away. They expire and get thrown away.  Sit back and look about you  -  is there something you have that you know someone else could use?  Do I have anything you'd want?  What can benefit another person? What do I have that is gathering dust? Do I need it? Am I being greedy and hoarding it all?  I certainly can't take it with me!

There was a rich man who knew he was dying so he took all he had and had it converted into gold. He put the gold in to suitcases and gave instructions it was to be buried with him as he was taking it with him.  He gets up to heaven and he opens the suitcases and there is all the gold he had bought to bring with him.  The angels just looked at him and asked "why did you bring up pavement with you?"   If you don't get that, you need to read your Bible!  In heaven, we will walk on streets of gold!

But we know that we can't take anything with us when we die.  I want to make it easy on my kids and am more than willing to give things away.  They don't need to go through all this 'stuff'.  When it cools down, I'll be going through the garage. Again.  I don't want to leave this for my children to sort through. I hang on to 'things' far too long.  I'm going to be working on it to clear some things out.  Lord, help me to let go!

Blessings!

Sunday morning decisions....

 I didn't sleep well last night - awakening around 2AM and the first thing I thought about was my boys... and they know why I think of them at 2AM....  and so I began to pray for them, for their families, then for my daughter and her family.  Then my siblings.  Tossing and turning the rest of the night, I'm sure I fell back asleep some, but finally arose at 5:20-ish or so this morning.  Wanted to try to sleep this morning, but didn't.  Now I've been sneezing and coughing for the past hour... maybe it is my body trying to get awake? Alert?  I'm in trouble if that's it, for this body is still just sitting here.

Yesterday was a totally lazy day.  I.did.nothing.  Didn't even cook; but in all fairness, I did heat up leftovers for dinner.  Breakfast was a run to McDonalds - which is a very very rare thing in this household. McMuffin just sounded good, along with orange juice and McDonald coffee.  Since it was mid-morning, lunch was salsa and chips around lunch time.  Dinner was leftover spaghetti from Olive Garden the night before.  And of course a snack before bed - bread with cream cheese and apricot jam for hubby, and pita chips and hummus for me.  

So what did we do all day?  Watched the Notre Dame game (and it got delayed almost two hours due to thunderstorms, and the Purdue game got delayed longer than that!  We watched the Diamondbacks play.  Then after the games came back on and we watched Notre Dame win, the TV went off for awhile.  I sat and crochet'd - finished one baby blanket and am nearly done with the 2nd one, and did get several rows knitted on a scarf when we turned the TV back on to watch a couple movies.  Oh- and I took about a ten minute nap during the 'down time' I think.  Could that be why I was awake at 2AM as well? The body hadn't moved off the couch all day... was it tooooo rested?

This morning I'll be heading into the shower shortly and then get ready for church.  With my sneezing and coughing this morning, I've toyed with the idea of staying home, but will probably go.  I enjoy our church, don't get me wrong.... worship is louder than I like.... but it isn't about me.  The messages, when our pastor or his wife speaks, the messages are great and are Biblical and they don't mince words - they call sin what God calls it - sin!   That's why we like that church.  They only thing that bothers both hubby and I is when on Wednesday nights they have specific people praying..... and I think they believe God is hard of hearing. I belive that if we whisper our prayers that God hears us, but they must think the louder they yell in to that microphone it will reach heaven.  By then hubby nor I can understand a word they are saying - and it's almost comical when you hear other people 'agreeing' with them in prayer, making their comments.... and I wonder.... do they even understand what is being said?  I sure don't.  For us it is distracting with all the yelling.  I thought we prayed to the same God, but, my God isn't hard of hearing.  Just saying.  I can sit in here and whisper and I know He hears me.  Have I ever yelled at God?  Yep, sure have!  But I guarantee you, my 'yelling' is a lot lower decibel than what we hear on Wednesday nights!

As far as I know, nothing is on the agenda for this afternoon..... oh yeah, I think there is foootball happening every weekend for awhile.  It's going to be a long fall.... just saying.  Good thing I enjoy football.  But, I need to get up and get some baking done and other things, and not just sit and crochet and watch them.

Isaiah 46:3-4 (NKJV):  "Listen to Me, O house of Jacob, and all the remnant of the house of Israel, who have been upheld by Me from birth, who have been carried from the womb: Even to your old age, I am He, and even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry you and deliver you."

Let me put those verses into context for you.  The verses before talk about Bel and Nebo - which were the idols of that day.  When those idols were taken into captivity (because the Israelites were worshipping them - God allowed them to be defeated and taken into captivity), with the captured Israelites, God was telling them, He is the One who has taken care of them from the time they were born.  It wasn't these manmade idols.  God will always be with them from birth until the years have come upon them, He will take care of, He will bear the burdens, He will carry and deliver those who follow Him.

Oh we have so many idols today!  Manmade idols at that!  TV's and their shows can be idols.  Children can become idols if we put them before God.  Whatever it is that we put before God, becomes our idol.  What is more important?  WHO is more important?  That is a choice that you and I must always make.  Our pride can also become an idol.  When we put people on pedestals, that becomes an idol.  Our job can become our idol.

So I challenge you today.  Pause and think about your life.  What is it that you have allowed to take the place of God in your life?  What are you teaching your children is important?   Is the Lord #1 in your job, in your home, in your life?  If He isn't, I pray that you re-evaluate where you have placed Him, ask forgiveness, and restore His altar in your home and make Him Lord of all.

Don't settle for manmade idols that break and get tossed away.  God is not manmade; He is Lord of all. He cannot be thrown away or dusty or old.  He is everlasting - He is God.

Blessings!

Lots on my mind this morning....

Since we stayed up until around 10PM last night (I know - gasp! right?) - I was awakened about 1AM, but was able to go back to  sleep and did end up staying in bed until about 5:30AM this morning.  Just didn't want to get up - but laying in bed was too uncomfortable too.  So I got up and came in here, left the light off and just sat here, thinking about different things.  Hubby got up soon after and brought my coffee in, so of course the light came on.  I read a few chapters in my Bible when my phone dinged, so I picked it up to see if one of my children was contacting me.... 

It was a co-worker I am friends with.  We had dinner together several months back to catch up from not seeing each other since going remote.  But this text was different.  Her oldest daughter had been found dead a few days ago.  And of course she sent a 'go fund me' link too.  She is a single mom with I know one disabled child; I don't remember about this other, but it sounds like she may have been living on her own. She didn't go in to details and I didn't ask.  We will meet up for dinner again in a few weeks and I'm sure I'll learn more.  Not that it matters; she lost her oldest child.  And I don't even want to imagine what that feels like.

But it has started my mind thinking of my mother, my family.  My mother not only buried two husbands, but she buried her oldest stepson, her youngest son, her oldest son.  My former in-laws buried their oldest son, my children's father, and their youngest son.  I cannot imagine losing any of my children in death.  I don't even want to imagine that... we came close one time to losing my oldest child, but by God's grace and His mercy, He healed her.  And I will forever praise Him and be grateful to Him for that.

So I am feeling somewhat sad this morning.  I'm sorry for my friend, but this has also brought up my oldest sister's death last year.  So many unresolved questions regarding her death, and we will never know the truth of what happened.  I still feel a void in my heart at the loss.  I wil not claim extreme closeness as some siblings have, but since we did talk most every week and sometimes 3-4 times a week.... I would say we were close. In fact, I talked to her the day before she fell and her demise started. I miss her. 

But - I was just able to smile..... I had given my trainer a pint of my salsa last week (brownie points, you know!) and he just text'd me that he had finally tried it yesterday and ended up eating a whole bag of chips with it (probably a small bag).  He made me smile.  I told him I expected to get workout points from it.  

Well, it is about 7:45AM this morning and hubby is still home. I had a feeling he would be.... there is a men's breakfast at church this morning and he usually goes..... but he saw last night that Notre Dame was playing at 9AM this morning and I saw the wheels turning in his head.  He still could have gone to the breakfast but chose not to so that he didn't miss any of it.  

Titus 2:11-14 (NKJV):  "For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works."

God's people are not saved by good works, they are saved for good works, so that they may extend Christ's love and grace to others.  His grace is for us all, and He will teach us how to live within this world, and live without.  Oh that we all would be redeemed by Him when He appears to take with Him those who follow Him!

As I write that, I am reminded of a book that I like to reread at times because even I can use a 'wake up' call on how I am living.  It's so easy to 'fall into the worldly things'.  The book is by Kyle Idleman and it is called 'not a fan'.    God doesn't want us DOING for Him ... . He wants us LIVING for Him.  Does that make sense?  

So many times we think going to church and socializing with others who say they are a Christian is enough.  But it is not.  Now realize, this is my opinion only that I state in this blog.  And I will admit, my attitude and actions are no where near where I feel I should be in walking with Jesus.  But I strive to get there.  I want to follow Jesus with all of me and walk with Him.  That is my life's goal.  I want to be  His alone.  But life has a way getting in the way and it is so easy to have my own attitude, my own behavior issues....  but for the grace of God, He always forgives me when I stray and He helps me get my feet back on the right path.  And that right path leads straight to Him.

How are you doing with that?  Life isn't about us.  Life is about living like Jesus and sharing His love and grace to others.  We have been given so much grace, even without asking for it.  Jesus knew us before we were born.... and He went to the cross for us.  Yes, for you, and for me.  

And you know what?  If you were the only person left on this earth, Jesus would have still gone to the cross for you.  So grateful for His love for me.

Blessings!

Lazy and sleeping in?

 Definitely this morning! Been awake/dozing since about 1AM and I am tired!  I finally arose at 5AM just because I knew I needed to get up.  Came in here and tried to read; hubby brought my coffee in shortly after, and I gave up reading and tried to sleep but could not... and now it's 6AM and I need to get this done and get my work computer on.  

My phone just dinged to remind me I have a 1:45PM donate blood appointment this afternoon.  I had it on Monday but changed it... will keep it today.  I should be able to donate easily; I had liver and onions when we went out for dinner last night.  They weren't that good; I can do them better, but I ate them.

As I briefly mentioned in yesterday's post, my doctor appointment went well.  It's really different now than what I had for 30+ years or so with Dr. Phillips - the dad, not the son.  Hubby goes to the son.  The dad was always very thorough and would go through everything with me, and then I would have to go back two weeks later after my labs to go line by line down my blood tests.  This doctor didn't even do an EKG, and I don't have to go back after my labs.  I got my labs done in the same building; Sonora Quest has already text'd me there are posted, and my doctor said if anything is amiss, she will call me, but other than that, I can check 'my patient portal' and get the results of my blood test.  She answered all my questions and I feel ok with what she checked.  I don't have too do a lot of the tests; I'm 'too old'.  Imagine that.  But I also know if I feel I have any problems, I can easily get an appointment and get fitted in.  I praise God that I am healthy and don't need to see a doctor frequently, even in my 'old age'.  Once a year is fine with me!

I am going to contact my podiatrist yet... my deductible has been met for the year due to the cataract surgeries, so I may as well take advantage of it.  My doctor visits haven't been costing me anything.  A few years ago when I went for plantar facisitis, my podiatrist showed me via ultrasound that I had 'bone spurs' growing... well, they are now at the back of my heel and with shoes or without shoes, I feel them and it makes my heels sore.  I don't know wha they can do about it; I don't know what he will tell me to make it feel better.  It isn't 'bad' right now, but next year when I have to pay a deductible, you know it will hurt really bad!  So am thinking I will go and just have him check and let me know what I need to do.  I don't wear heels much anymore; that takes the pressure off, so I notice the pain whether I am barefoot or wearing flats or sandals.  It's not a sharp pain, more of annoying constant pain.

My little sister notified me Wednesday that she had her right eye cataract removed; her left one was done yesterday and she goes back today for a checkup.  Her husband had his done a few weeks ago.  I quit talking to her about it last month - she was driving me crazy with her excuses.  I love my eye surgeon - they knocked me out so I didn't know anything.  Then I had to wait two weeks to make sure the one was doing ok before getting the second one done.  She had one done one day, the other the next day - and she was awake!!  On the first one, the doctor told her to quit talking  - and she said that she felt scolded.  Grateful I was put out.  I hope it helps her vision.  I can see distance, which I couldn't before without glasses, but I can't read anything close up now; must have glasses to see it.  Oh well - can't have it all, I guess. 

Psalm 143:8-10 (NKJV):  Cause me to hear your loving kindness in the morning, for in You I do trust.  Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You. Deliver me, o Lord, from my enemies; in You I take shelter. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; Your Spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness.

"Three times David prays for guidance. The way in which I should walk references his individual calling. Teach me to do your will settles priorities, making the goal not self-fulfillment, but pleasing God and finishing His work. Lead me are wordsof humility from one who knows his need of shepherding, not merely of having the right way pointed out to him."

I taught myself Psalm 143:8 many years ago - I had read it and it kind of spoke to me in where I was at.  "Cause me to hear your loving kindness in the morning, for in You I do trust.  Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You."

Sometimes you just need a scripture to hold on to; one that will keep you grounded and focused on the way in front of you by putting your vision and hearing on Jesus first, and asking Him which way you should go.

People sometimes make fun of others who are completely surrendered to Jesus and they hear them asking Him simple things like 'what color shirt should I wear today?'.  You may laugh, but Jesus wants to know every single detail that concerns you.  Even down to what color shirt you need to wear.  How many times have we tried to do things on our own, and find out we flubbed it?

Me?  I pray for travel mercies and directions!  LOL  I used to be the one who was 'directionally challenged', but not so much anymore.  I have Siri.  LOL  But, seriously, I have learned how to pay attention and usually can remember which way to go when I'm driving.  I still use my directions in case there is an accident and I need to be rerouted on trips to Mesa.  But I know how to get there.  And I pray for help with work tasks - especially those I don't want to do.  I still need to type out the board minutes from before vacation.  I'm a procrastinator.... on some things, like board minutes.  Our next meeting isn't until November so I have plenty of time yet, right? :-)

Ok - time to turn on the work computer so need to get off here.  Hubby has already left for his study group.  I have a couple hours alone this morning.  :-)  Quiet, uninterrupted time.  Maybe I can get a nap in... but probably not; I'm getting awake now.

Hope you will make your day one that is pleasing to Him and are a blessing to others.

Blessings!