I heard from all three

 Yep - I did.  I heard from all three of my children yesterday, which, is unusual, but the second time it has happened recently.  I love it.  Ok, I said it.  I love even just the quick call cause it means I am not forgotten.  (Yes, I have complained recently about being so far out and isolated and alone.)  But that wasn't the reason - I don't think!  My youngest called and invited me to lunch on Saturday.  Looking at my calendar in here, I didn't have anything on it, so we scheduled it.  Last night I remembered it is Needles of Hope but that's ok.  I can go to that for an hour or so and then drive to the restaurant and meet him.  WinWin.  It's a restaurant not far from us, I've seen it, but we've never gone.  It looks like a mom & pop Denny's - if you know what I mean.  One in which you should get really good food.  First time he and I have gone out alone to eat in a very long time.  Of course, due to his family dynamics, well, I'll stop there. 

My oldest son called during the day and reminded me I hadn't chatted with his daughter yet about our upcoming trip down south.  He didn't know that she had contacted me already.  I still don't know all our plans, but I assured him that I would be talking with the granddaughter soon, once I figured out what we were going to do.  Since we are going Sunday - Tuesday versus over a weekend, I don't want to disrupt their schedules.  Great-granddaughter will be in school during the day and the GSIL will be at work, and with a new baby our granddaughter will be busy.  I don't want to cause chaos for them, but do want to spend a little time with them.  Our great-granddaughter's birthday is Saturday; she is growing up so fast!  I need to go shopping before we go down there!  Plus I need to finish this quilt for the newest great-granddaughter; I'm hoping to take it with us - finished - as well.

Then my daughter came over last night for our 'girls night out' and we worked on the diamond art project.  We are getting close to finishing it - but it will still be a couple more weeks.  I suggested to her that once we get it completed, and the glue on it, the following week we take it to Hobby Lobby to get framed, then we go out to dinner and celebrate!  She liked that idea.  Then we will be back to our crocheting, and I will probably go to her house versus her driving to mine.  Not that it makes a lot of difference, but I think she is tired of driving to me.  These are the times I wish we were closer distance wise, although she really isn't that far away; it's just the traffic on that one road... just saying. LOL

I don't know what came over me yesterday.  Seriously.  I decided I was going to take a 'lunch hour' and guess what I did!  I made lemon meringue pie.  Two of them!  I had that thought - and when I dug for a recipe, I found a newspaper clipping that was quite old - possibly one of Aunt Mae or Aunt Sue's that fell out of a recipe book I have - of Lemon Meringue pie - so I thought I'd try it.  It was real simple to make. I had the pie shells in the freezer so took them out and baked them.  Then I did the filling from scratch. Boy, that is a lot of sugar!!  The meringue recipe was somewhat different than I had done before but I followed the instructions.  Sigh. I must not have beat it long enough, although it was 'stiff' when I added the things it said to add.  I was thinking in the past I added cream of tartar, but this didn't call for it.  I put the meringue on the pies and put in the oven to bake.... and the meringue 'fell flat'.  Oh well.  We had a piece last night, and I sent the rest of one pie home with the daughter.  I've had enough of the pies, so after giving hubby another piece of the last pie, I will give it away as well. I was just in a baking mood and I did it.  

Today will be a busy but good day.  I am meeting my favorite boss for breakfast this morning.  We always meet at the same place, which is about halfway for both of us - a 45-50 minute drive one way in traffic.  I'm slowly clearing out my freezer of baked goods and giving them away. Most are made before Christmas.  I know she loves my bread, salsa, pickles, and jam.... but what should I take her this time. I always try to take something.  Maybe a loaf of the bread.  I only have a couple loaves left before I need to make fresh.  I have lots of cranberries still in my freezer.  If I buy more jars, I can make more cranberry-strawberry jam.  Only have a couple jars of that left.  Which makes me think - I wonder if my daughter in law liked the jam I gave her for Christmas.  You know I always like feedback on how to improve it.  I need to remember to ask her.

I guess I have gotten lax in my Virta plan.  My weight has gone down about 10 pounds, but it refuses to budge any further and well, my bits of sugar (pie, bread, cookie, etc.) keeps me from going into ketosis to lose, according to Virta.  I feel like a failure, and yet, I know that I am eating much better.  Even if I do have something I shouldn't on occasion.  It's not like I do it all the time.  But, although my glucose has been staying right around 100 in the mornings, my ketones in the evening aren't so hot - .1 or .4 is not nutritional ketosis - which is what Virta wants me in - it starts at .5.  I've yet to hit that this week. Last weekend I even forgot to take it for two days!!  I tell them that with working out my weight will not fall fast.  Muscle weighs more than fat does.  And they agree, and my coach encourages me to keep working out.  I am seeing results in that I've lost I think 2" at least off my waist.  Plus I've been walking 8K-10K+ steps daily for the past three weeks in this challenge.  Now that it's over, I only got 6K+ yesterday.  I just don't have time to walk 5 miles a day.  Well, I guess that isn't really true.  I just choose not to use the time for that purpose.  I am so glad of the reminder my DIL gave me years ago on a pin - "you are not what you weigh'... and it has stuck with me over 30 years.  My weight does not determine who I am.  

It probably doesn't make sense, and although I share a lot in here, I prefer not being monitored when working out, when eating (like, I'm over 21, why do I have to hide a cookie under my top so that I can enjoy it in my room without being commented on?) anything outside of a meal.  And, yes, it probably IS all my imagination and in my head.  But the past repeats itself frequently, if you know what I mean.  Most of you will not understand what I'm talking about, because you don't have anyone in your life who monitors everything you do.  Who watches 'over you'.  You may wish someone 'cared' about you like that.  That isn't love.  At least I don't feel it is.  That is possession.  And I'll hush on that topic.

Hubby went to his prostate doctor on Monday.  He has to go for 3 more shots but then will be put on every three months visit to monitor.  He was told by all his doctors that his heart, lungs, prostate, body, etc. are in great shape for his age (he will be 88 this month) and he will have a long life.  In fact, he has been told (cause he makes sure to tell me) that he has the heart of a much younger person.  Now, if they only had something for the mind.... cause that scares me more than body issues do.  Even with the pies yesterday, he was asking me questions that confused even me.  Does he do this just to have a conversation with me? Is he intentionally making me crazy?  If the pie doesn't have meringue on it, no, it isn't ready to go in the oven to bake.  The meringue does not come up out of the pie filling; it has to be prepared and put on top of the pie.  (no, he didn't say that, but he asked once the filling was in the pie shell if it got baked then (without the meringue).

Proverbs 1:7 (NKJV):  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Do you fear God?  I don't mean being afraid of what He might do to you, but fearing Him for who He is.  There is a difference.  Our Lord is a loving and forgiving God, full of mercy and grace.  But do we fear Him to where we tremble at His Word?  I've been working through that topic lately and reading on it.  It's not to be afraid that if I sin, what will God do to me.  If it was, I'd be dead a long time ago, in my opinion.  God is such a loving Father.  He wants only the best for each one of us, but we have to come to Him and humble ourselves to ask for forgiveness and accept His grace for us.  Oh how I need His grace daily!  I am so imperfect.  And so are you.  Once I figure out what the 'fear of the Lord' is, perhaps I will share... but it isn't being afraid of Him, that He will zap you.  It's really hard to explain - and if you think you have the answer, please share.  I'm still reading and learning.  

My little sister and her hubby made it home from Florida yesterday.  We haven't talked in a few days; will be interesting when we start to catch up, possibly some time today.  I say interesting because I don't know what we will talk about. You laugh.  Yeah, we always find something, until we both start rambling about nothing and decide that 'ok, we're done'.

We were going to have a Maundy Thursday service here at our house on the 17th and like last year, we invited two couples to share it with us.  I got a call last night that one of the couples is recovering from surgery so can't get down to wash feet so doesn't want to do that.  The other couple doesn't want to do it because the other couple is unable to.  And they asked 'is it ok if we skip that part?'.  I said it was ok, I still plan to fix a light meal (soups) and we can eat together and have a short service of prayer and communion.  But for me, I miss the washing feet part... and hubby and I may do it after they leave, for they won't stay late.  I mean, Maundy Thursday is about the communion, and the washing of feet, right? We did this last year with the same couple, and I had hubby telling everyone he can't get down to wash my feet because of his leg surgery... it was awkward and all, but we got it done. It annoyed me last year, I admit.  You do what you can do, you don't need to draw attention to yourself about how it is done.  Anyway, we will have both couples over for dinner and communion and prayer and reflection.  At least there is that.  But they also asked that we meet them Friday night this week for dinner and then go to their place to play games after.  

And now, with all my rambling, I have to hush and get off here and get dressed and ready to head out in a bit for breakfast with my boss.  I have a few more moments of quiet.... and I'm going to take it.  The quiet refreshes me.  Take a moment and just be still.  Turn your thoughts to our Father who loves us so much that He gave up His Son to die for us.  I could not give up one of my boys - I don't know how He could - but He loves us so much, that He did.  He is a loving Father.  

Blessings!

I had a good long talk...

 with our church administrator.... and I had 'run off' of the mouth about my opinions.  Of course I did.  Don't ask me a question and not expect me to give you an honest answer!  No, it wasn't that bad.  She actually called me about our non-existent class, and that they wanted to keep it 'open' in that as people come in to the church and if they mention they'd like to attend a discipleship class, this can be offered.  I reminded that they cannot attend if the class is three weeks in to a section, and they would have to wait and she said that was fine - we could tell them when the next section would start.  

We moved on to the women's ministry; I had signed up to help with food for our women's group.  We only meet every other month at this time.  I love to cook and bake so volunteered to help.  She shared some things that is going on in that area.  We talked about our pastors.... and I told her that our pastor's wife had text'd me early yesterday morning for hubby to come see him at the church before noon that day... he had time available.  So I called hubby and told him (he was at breakfast with a friend) - he went after breakfast to meet with the pastor.  I know what he wanted to talk about... no, not about me, although I'm probably his biggest pain.

Anyway, I told the administrator (who is now keeping our pastor's calendar as it was all over the place and he needed an admin to keep it organized) that hubby would be meeting with him at 10:30AM.  And, that started my deluge of personal thoughts.  I told her I was having difficulty feeling connected at the church.  We have met some people, I've tried to get involved in different things with women's ministry, but I'm just not feeling connected.  She was a sweetheart and expressed her dismay that I felt that way.  So we talked about it and she offered areas that I/we could step up in to and get more involved within the church.  There were a couple things that I could agree to pray about and see if that is something I want to take on.  And I really need to think this all through.  

I've gotten lazy in my old age and working from home.  Although the way this week has gone, I really have been longing for retirement cause I just don't want to do this anymore, and yet, I enjoy my job.  It's just some of the things that I really do not like.  Like board meetings, expense reports, travel arrangements, etc.  Never have liked those.  Anyway... I often wonder about the time I feel I've lost - or gained - by working from home.  It does have its advantages.  I get dressed when I feel like it. I eat when I want to. I get up and walk around the house. I bake cookies when I want to. I get dinner started early if I have something laid out.   I like working from home.  I miss the social interaction with others.

I know - figure that one out!  I'm working from home and possibly saving myself 3 hours a day (no kidding!!) and yet, I feel I don't have much time.  I used to get up at 4AM; have my quiet time from 4-5AM; 5-6AM I would get dressed for work, and out the door to work by 7AM.  Left work at 4PM, and most days it would take 1.5 to 2 hours to get back home.  We'd figure out dinner, and then I usually had a class to work on, and I would take time to study for that, and there was a time I took a college class as well.  I would get to bed around 10-11PM most nights and I was good with that.

And now?  I get up at 4AM, have my quiet time until 7AM (ok, sometimes I fall back to sleep, but when I don't, I can read more, be quiet more, write more, and type in here. (Remember when it was hit and miss and I'd do it from the office as a rule)  7AM I'm on the work computer, get dressed after I review emails, grab a shake for breakfast, and sit in front of the computer the rest of the day, unless I have a lunch to go to, until 4PM when I shut down.  I go into the kitchen to fix dinner, or we go out to eat.  Then back home to (now) to read or crochet. We now go to bed around 8:30PM except on weekends and we may - rarely - stay up until 10PM, if we are watching a movie.

And I feel I don't have time.  And I feel so disorganized.  Probably because I really don't have a class to study for, prepare for.  And I go to bed early which eliminates an hour or two of other things. And I crochet now, which I didn't before.  I really need to evaluate what do I want to do.  Where do I really want to go with this feeling.  I know I want to serve God however I can.  I want to be obedient to Him and whatever He calls me to do.  Yes, I'm still speaking at the RV parks currently - and I need to get a message pulled together since I will be speaking the 2nd Sunday in February.  3rd Sunday too, I think.  I do need to get on that as it will be here before we know it.  That means I need to work on it this weekend.

Hubby just opened my door..... he is heading out to breakfast and bible study with his friends.  Perhaps I'm jealous that I can't do that.  Just thinking aloud.... maybe I can choose a time once a month (for me) that I can get with a few women from church and just dive into a Bible study together.  At a restaurant that isn't too busy.  Where we can eat and talk and discuss things.  There isn't a place here that hubby can go to while I do it at home..... if he goes into his 'office', the 'door' is still open... cause there isn't one.  Ok - I'm rambling in my thoughts now.  Another boring blog, right? Just an old woman rambling with her thoughts.

James 4:10 (NIV):  "Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up."

The truth be known, I only want to serve the Lord.  When I first rededicated my life to God and changed my life, got involved in prayer and prayer activities, I would pray that I could be like Anna in the bible.  You remember Anna, right?   She was the woman who saw Jesus as a baby when Mary and Joseph brought Him to the temple to be dedicated.  Simon was there too, remember?  I wanted to stay in the 'courts of the Lord' and never leave.  I seriously thought about how I could do that.  I had read stories of women who lived at the church in the prayer room and was constantly in prayer.  That was my longing.  But I couldn't step away from my family or responsibilities.  So I made my home my sanctuary at times when I 'locked' myself in a room for a day or part of a day.  Drove hubby crazy I shut him out too.  I so long to get away by myself (which is why I love the times he is busy and I'm home alone - even if I do things while he is gone) and just focus on Jesus and be quiet before Him and let Him speak to me.

Fasting is one way we humble ourselves before the Lord.  Giving up specific foods (or all foods) to spend time with Him.  Hubby has not mentioned turning the tv on since that one time.  I'm proud of him, and told him so.  And I have loved having the quiet in the evenings.  But alas, our fast ends tomorrow at midnight.  21 days.  We have (I think) stuck with our food commitment.  Yeah, mine ended up evolving to the BBCD - and believe it or not - I've even left my saltine crackers alone, although that was a real struggle.  I love saltine crackers - even by themselves!  Hubby has mentioned 'toast' a couple times when he tells me what he's eaten... but I don't say anything.  I think he just forgets and that's between him and God.  I'm not the one to watch over his eating during a fast.  I cook what we agreed to eat.  I have a feeling, though, that come Sunday, we will be having steak for either lunch or dinner! LOL Or a big burger.  I still have a Red Robin gift card I got from Ms. Diane for Christmas so that might be lunch.

And, I need to get up and get moving as the time is getting away from me.  So I leave you with this thought - what have you done to humble yourself before the Lord lately?

Blessings!

Why are Mondays so busy??

 Yesterday was so busy with work!  Everyone was asking for a meeting or something to be done.  But I had to scoot away for about an hour and have a medical test completed.  This will make you chuckle, I'm sure.  I had to go for my annual mammogram.  Oh the joy of it.... I say sarcastically.  As I undress and get ready for it, and go to the room for the test, and the technician is setting me up with the machine.... these words came to mind.... you may have heard them before in a song.....  "Do your boobs hang low, do they swing to and fro...."  and I started laughing.  Try holding your breath when they say 'don't breathe' and you are having that song in your mind!  Of course I had to tell the technician what came to my mind!  She got a chuckle out of it too.  And I had to look up the words to the song and send to my boss when I got back - she cracked up! She said she'd be humming that tune all afternoon!

Once back home I was busy with meetings and questions again.  But hey, job security, right?  I still have one or two I didn't find a time for and need to ask questions about how critical is it and can I move it to another date further out.  I don't mind scheduling meetings.... I just get annoyed when people who are optional on the meeting think the meeting is all about them and insist it be according to THEIR schedule - and their calendars are totally blocked out for one reason or another.  I THINK I finally got this one scheduled.... but as crazy as yesterday was, I'm not sure if I moved it to this date/time or if that was the one I was supposed to move.  She was on two meetings - I know I moved one... but now don't remember which one.  Oh well.  I think it is today so reckon I will find out.

Had my workout last night and my trainer and I had a chat.  We were working on 'chest' last night to start with - and I remembered the song again... and commented that yeah, I needed 'chest work' to tighten up.  That got our conversation going on what did I really want to accomplish with these trainings.  I told him I have several skirts that have been hanging in my closet for about 5 years - and about 4 of those years - since the beginning of COVID anyway, I have not been able to get my butt into the skirt and get it zipped up. Yeah, I have a fat butt. I sit all day at a desk; expected spread. So guess what.  I did it to myself.  I told him that. And he told me that he was going to change my workouts. He also wanted to get my heart rate up. I was puzzled and said that I've never been able to get my heart rate up above 110 - even when running a little on the treadmill.  He proved me wrong.  He got my heart beating - and not just because he is so cute!  Lower weights, higher reps proved that he could get my heart rate up to 131 - that was the highest he got it - and he calculated that the goal is 146 according to my age.  He said to take 220 (where that number came from I have no idea) and subtract your age.  (you doing it mentally?) Anyway - THAT is what your workout heartrate should be in order to lose weight.  PLUS he wants me to come a little early when I can and get on the treadmill or bike for 10-15 minutes BEFORE he kills me with a workout. But, if I want to see physical changes - and not just strength and gain muscle - I need to push myself a bit harder, I guess.  I'm actually looking forward (I think) to my workout on Wednesday.  Except it is lower body and I'm not sure I'll be able to walk out of the gym; lately my legs are like the weeble wobbles.... you know, they wobble but don't fall down?  I'm real close sometimes to not making it to my car.  But I love working out.

Didn't sleep much last night - and was awakened during the night with that 'thought' of something wrong... or could be.... and spent time praying.  My boys ought to be preachers as much as I have prayed for them over the years!  But somehow I always get more ammunition to pray for them more. Many times they tell me nothing was going on.... and I'm grateful.... for something unknown could have gone on - and neither of us know what.... but God knows. Grateful He wakes me to pray for my children and grandchildren.    You ever wake up in the middle of the night?  Turn your thoughts outside of sleep and ask God - does one of my children need me to pray over them right now? Pray for their safety even though I know they are in bed asleep?  Don't neglect your duty as a parent to cover your child or your spouse in prayer.  It may be the prayer that saves them from harm.

I'm thinking today may be a light day for work; just finish up things I didn't get done yesterday. And one person is already on me about EXTENDING her meetings into 2024.  Good grief!  I have it on my calendar to do in October, not the middle of September!  But, I did get a couple of her meetings extended - and of course then had to deal with finding a room to get them in.  Need to work on that today and get that specific meeting done.  The system will only allow reservations to rooms up to a year - which means mid-year I will have to go in and extend to the end of the year.  Throws me off schedule for sure.  But I have 4 people I need to extend meetings for - so yeah, may as well start getting on it. Some are weekly, some are monthly, some are bi-monthly.  At least with getting them on the calendar now, their calendars for 2024 are fairly empty.

Philippians 4:4 (NKJV):  "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I will say, rejoice!"

Did you know that when you rejoice in the Lord, you find your joy?  You do!  When you take the time to pause life, and turn your thoughts to Him, you will find peace that passeth all understanding will flow over you.  Try it.  Just take 5 minutes.  Do nothing; don't think about anything but how good God has been to you.

If you are a Christian, and follow Jesus, thank Him for His sacrifice for you.

If you are not a Christian, and choose your own way, thank Him for providing and taking care of you and your family while you do your own thing. (yeah, He does that too)

If you are working, pause and thank Him for providing a job for you that you can provide for your family.

If you and your family are healthy, pause and thank Him for being Jehovah Rapha and taking care of you all.

If you are struggling, if there is sickness in your home, still thank Him.  Why? Because He loves you and even in sickness and in health, Jesus is always there for you.  He is so near to you, just waiting for you to invite Him in.

It doesn't matter where we are in life.  Whether I am disagreeing with hubby, struggling with my own issues, dealing with stress of my job, hurting from things said to me in anger from family, feeling disorganized, disowned, and unwanted..... I can still raise my head and thank my God for I know that I am dearly loved, much wanted, and wondrously cared for.  

And so are you.  Do you realize how dearly you are loved?  Take a moment, just say "thank You, Lord", and know that you are heard, loved, and wanted by Him.  

Blessings!